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MY girlfriend caught ME masturbating!

Why are you asking me, I'm not his girlfriend. But I'd be fine with it, freedom of thoughts, no real person being harmed, might be a bit sketchy to know that your partner is turned on by gang rape though.
 
theotherother1 said:
even if she is grossed out by masturbating, i make up the reason she was upset had more to do with you hiding it than the fact that you were punchin the munchkin.

You might consider if you're both connecting on emotional, physical and intellectual levels too. If you're not, i imagine she'd be upset you're getting your needs met elsewhere, but unable to make the effort to connect with her.

It's normal to masturbate . It's dishonest if you're hiding it or omitting the truth. This includes masturbating elsewhere. As long as you're not doing it compulsively or have other intimacy issues in your relationship you should be straight up and tell her it's something you need as a man. You should also make a request, not a demand, to have more sexual intimacy and ask if she feels like her needs are being met sexually or otherwise.
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qft
 
Libby said:
Why are you asking me, I'm not his girlfriend. But I'd be fine with it, freedom of thoughts, no real person being harmed, might be a bit sketchy to know that your partner is turned on by gang rape though.
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what if he thinks about the women getting gang banged in porn ? He's not actually watching but he's replaying the fact she got gang banged once in life.
 
I think its less bad because if you arent consuming the product then there isnt demand or financial incentive for pornogrophers to put any real people in those situations anymore to be filmed. But I might be disturbed by the idea my partner thought gang rape was sexy to begin with.
 
Libby said:
But. This guys girlfriend might be more concerned with the "cheating" aspect than the harm being done to other women issue. A lot of women consider using porn to be cheating. http://www.covenanteyes.com/2015/01/19/using-porn-is-cheating/
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I think the harm being done to women in Gang bang porn is a bigger issue no? How unfortunate that her worry of him cheating is more driven by her ego and insecurity, while completely missing the main issue at hand.
 
I think its a bigger issue but she might not be aware of the harms involved, she might think the women are happy to do it or etc. I dont know I dont know her.
 
I caught my husband once. I wish he would own it!!! Acting embarrassed and reticent, made me suspicious. If he would just share what made him so aroused with me, I would love it!
 
As a girl, and as one in a relationship for the last nearly 5 years. I think this is her hang up to get over.

I don't watch porn. Ok that's not entirely true, I have, but I don't very often at all. Not that I have a low sex drive, it just doesn't appeal to me. And in all honesty, I kinda agree that it's harmful towards women. Not as a universal truth, but there certainly are women in open who don't want to be because they're desperate. Like all sex work. But that's a separate discussion. As it stands it is what it is, taking away the option for desperate women to engage in sex work without anything to provide other help isn't certain to help anything either. Back on topic...

I don't watch pornography. My bf does though, and used to and occasionally still does try to hide it from me. I have no idea why. I've told him over and over that I'm not going to think he's a pervert for looking at porn. No, not kinky porn either. I'm sure id have a limit but it would have to be very very extreme before I think id have any problem with it.

Guys masterbate, they do it when they're single and in my experience they often do it in relationships too. And I don't care. I wanna be able to find other guys hot without feeling guilty. And I don't think hiding shit from each other brings anything but drama and possible breakup to a relationship.

She has a right to not wanna have sex as much as you do, and you have a right to fulfill your sexual desires elsewhere so long as you aren't cheating on her. (and no, you can't cheat with someone who has never heard of you or met you. You could argue that there are noncheating ways to betray the other, but it's not cheating in this case) If she thinks you're a pervert for what amounts to just being a guy, I dunno, she needs to figure out how to deal. Maybe she should consider joining the other team, lol. Seriously though, I dunno what her problem is. Being upset with you because she feels you don't want her I could understand. But thinking it's perverted? Seems really old fashioned. I may not like the pornography industry but that's entirely separate to people viewing it online.

Point is. I don't think you should have to hide it. Personally I'm more upset about my bf hiding that he masturbates from me than the fact that he does. It makes me feel like he doesn't trust me to understand, or that he thinks id judge him over nothing. It doesn't make me feel insecure. Maybe he doesn't feel like actually having sex right now. Maybe he thinks I don't. I dunno. But it's not near enough for me to think he secretly wants another woman, and it sure as hell doesn't make him a pervert. If I got jealous about shit like that, how can I expect him to be ok with the fact I have a lot of male friends and have since before meeting him. Many of them are single. I don't want him to be jealous. I want him to know he's the only guy I wanna share a bed with. I'm his girl, having guy friends, finding other guys hot sometimes, even occasionally fantasizing about other guys, none of it means shit. I'm his, and he's mine. I know a lot of relationships can't seem to function with that level of trust and absence of jealousy, but most relationships fail so I hardly see what most people do as something that is wise to imitate. He has a female friend, and they used to be together. And them hanging out doesn't bother me either.

When it comes to jealousy, it's all about trust. But this seems to be more then that, she seems to be prudish, and that's probably a lot worse. When jealousy is irrational you can often get the person to see it's irrational. But when someone's just a prude, they often feel no need to defend it based on reason. They expect people to accept it on the face of it.

I don't know what you should do. Try and find out why she thinks looking at pornography makes you a pervert. Does you wanting sex make you a pervert? Does her? Sounds like she was just brought up this way from having read the thread. In which case, I hate to say people should end their relationship, but perhaps you should consider your long term options. Your relationship doesn't look good ln term if you have to hide something from her indefinitely and if she won't change.

As for everyone talking about how porn is harmful to women. In all sorts of potential ways. I kinda agree with you, but come on, make a thread about the subject. Don't you think it's off topic here? I've told my bf I don't approve of the pornography industry, but made it very clear that I don't judge him for viewing it. He's not supporting its creation. I know he's a good man who would never hurt a woman. That shit is out there no matter what he or I do. And not EVERY woman is unhappy bring apart of it and doing it out of desperation. It's a complex situation without simple solutions. The important part for me is that I love him, I know he wouldn't hurt anyone. And while it may well be while he tries to hide it from me, I'd rather he be honest about it. Because I don't consider his viewing of it as making him responsible for every uglyness in the sex trade world.

Oh and...

socko said:
Females want to have it both ways. You can't win.
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Fuck you.
 
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Get her to masturbate with you sometime. So hot.

I got caught by my GF one morning. It was Saturday morning and I woke up with morning wood and wanted some action. She said she had to get to work and went to jump in the shower. I gave her a couple of minutes to get in the shower and then started jacking. Well, she hadn't gotten in the shower and popped back into the room for something and caught me red-handed. She just laughed and gave me a good-morning HJ. She was a cool girl, just a bit crazy sometimes.

And while the wife has never caught me, she has found the evidence in the form of crusty socks. LOL
 
I duno man but trust me dude. you are fine brotha. as much as I know its all bad , I feel ur pain. I duno how to make it better though hope someone gives a better advice ,
 
Libby said:
Why don't you get horny over the women who want to fuck you instead of the women who are only allowing all types of shit to be done to them that's painful and traumatising because they want/need the money from it? That's not hot. When people are into it, and horny and non coerced or exploited is when it's hot. Porn is hate speech against women. Amy woman with respect for herself and her fellow women would dump a guy who uses porn, the insecure or naieve put up with it. If you want to stay with this woman, well... you have an imagination, use it to masturbate. Otherwise you gonna lose her.
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I think your post is a bit extreme to be honest. Not all porn is violent or degrading, most of it is consensual. There is some awful stuff out there; the brutal facefucking, harsh gangbangs, roughness- but its going a bit far to say all porn is "hate speech" against women. Sure, there are many reasons to find it distasteful, but you are up against the evolved trait of visual arousal especially common in men; I think its a losing battle.

I have been very open in my relationship about my use of porn. My girlfriend does not find it all that exciting, but understands that some men enjoy porn and this really natural tendency does not make them sexual predators. I think you are kind of hysterical if you truly belief my girlfriend is insecure or naive and that's why she puts up with it.

The myth of female innocence still seems pretty powerful to some. I guess it might be a shock to realise that some women involved in porn both enjoy and benefit from it.
 
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