Awesome thread, SKL. Thanks for posting.
I've enjoyed reading the whole thing. Some assorted thoughts in the form of responses:
I very much agree with this.
Psychedelics have helped me through things and given me some self discovery but that was during a different time. I find now my personality is more established and I use psychedelics more recreationally. I never travel the vortexes of existential crap anymore, I have no interest in seeing things i think are best left in the subconscious.
While I still enjoy when I (very occasionally) get a really ego-crushing experience, I mostly share your experience. When I was younger, my personality was much less established, so when I tripped it wasn't very recreational... and every one would leave me feeling changed. Nowadays I certainly still use them, but it has become much more recreational, and/or utilitarian - that is, I use them as tools to help me achieve an end, such as analyzing my situation in a functional way.
I don't feel personally that there are things better left to my subconsciousness... I've never really felt particularly uncomfortable with what I've found, and I'd love to have another ego-crushing experience sometime. In the past, for a couple of years after my initial psychedelic breakthrough, I was feeling like I had "eaten from the tree of knowledge" and life would have been easier had I not been so aware, but nowadays I do not feel this way anymore; I entirely enjoy the level of awareness I have and I find that it actually makes it easier for me to live in the moment and enjoy living life, as it helps me to put stresses of life into perspective.
Oooh getting interesting now LL aha
Tis a touchy concept.. I wonder what people have already noticed? ussually though most kids i know into drugs have druggy parents or ex druggies.
But they are not very clued up alot of the time.. just messy! *hmmm* *ponders*
EDIT: just thought i'd add my rents were and bassically are teetotal.
Interesting idea... I do think that for whatever reason, drug fascination (and addiction) are passed down from parent to child. I'm not sure if it's nature or nurture though... it certainly seems like it could be genetic but the way in which you're raised cannot be understated, and people tend to pass on their parents' child-raising techniques, simply because that's what they are modeling after, whether consciously or subconsciously.
In my case, both of my parents aren't fascinated by drugs... my dad is more so than my mom, and I suppose he drinks regularly, but he doesn't abuse drugs in any way and is quite disciplined. My mom basically doesn't alter her consciousness in any way anymore. Other than alcohol, my parents have both tried marijuana, and I think my dad enjoyed it, but my mom hated it and apparently only did it due to the peer pressure of being in college in the '70s.
And then there's me.
And my siblings both enjoy drugs to a limited extent. But I'm the only one who's obsessed. My family on both sides does have a hi8story of addiction... but my parents themselves and no one else in my family seems to be subject to it.
What's "teetotal" mean?
My desire to take drugs is very innate. I can remember in grade 3 (dunno where it came from) but the teacher was talking about drugs. I asked "what's a drug" she said "something people take to feel good or different than they normally feel". In my head: Hmm, something that makes me different that I have never felt before, I'd like to try that someday. In grade 3!!!!!
When pot became available to me in grade 9 I was off to the races. Then experimented with stimulants, depressants and then later, psychedelics.
My parents and our society around here is all about the alcohol. Highly catholic also, drugs are quite unacceptable. Don't know where my drive to alter my conscioussness came from but I know it's very innate.
Tee-total.. erm no drinking it normally means but i just mean generally drug free in general.
And yeah in last year of primary school i won best dare student in that year and some girl did too and we got a disposable cam and certificate lmao in the assembly.. guess it fascinated me so much i actually put some effort into the class and the book we had to fill out! aha.. 8)
That's hilarious, because in 5th grade I totally won a DARE competition too!
I wrote a poem called "Drugs are for Thugs" or something to that effect. Except I totally bought into it all. I was a very naive child... interestingly, I didn't have any interest in drugs whatsoever until I was 16... and didn't try any until my 17th birthday. But when I started, I jumped in head-first. The first time I successfully got high, I started doing it every day... no joke. I went from zero to sixty in an instant. A year later other drugs started following. And the rest is (literally because of the Internet) history.
I didn't really say all I had to say about this thread, so I'll come back later with fresh thoughts.