being addicted to h sucks, no amount of money is ever enough. I just got a raise at work and yet a few days before next payday, I'm broke again as always. lol... it's a bitch fo sho -_-
I've made money all kinds of ways throughout my addiction. When I first started using and I was just too far gone to give a fuck, I would make money by doing stupid lil hustles... shady and illegal stuff like panhandling or returning stolen items for people (I never could bring myself to be the one to steal the stuff tho). I overdrafted basically every single one of my bank accounts by hundreds of dollars from writing bad checks and taking the couple hundred that the ATM gives you up front -- I would do that for a couple days in a row and get a few hundred out of it over the course of 2-4 days, because it took a minute for the first check to process and then bounce. I made money or got free dope giving connects rides sometimes to reup. These are all things that I'm not proud of, and that I am SO glad to say are far, far away in my past... I haven't done most of that stuff in years, not the shady or illegal shit anyway.
Then, after the first time I really got clean for a significant amount of time and then relapsed, something had changed in me and I just wasn't willing to risk going to jail or hurting other people to get well/high anymore. The desperate, "I need it now or I'm going to freak the fuck out" feeling we all know too well pretty much went away, or at least became manageable. I started to be able to just accept that I had no money and I would have to be sick until the next time money came around legitimately. I just wasn't willing to do all that stupid shady illegal shit anymore. And it always did come around sooner rather than later, somehow. Law of Attraction I suppose, lol. I started looking for work again around that time too and found a job, but only had it for about three months and it didn't pay that well. But still, it was a few hundred dollars extra every two weeks that I didn't have before. I hated that job though, lol!! So most of the past two years I just barely got by and kept myself well by doing little things like cashing in gift cards, selling basically everything of value that I owned, borrowing money from friends/family, recycling, whatever.
Luckily, that's behind me as well, because that shit wasn't fun either-- I was barely getting by and had to live on just a little $10 sack many days... I rarely got high, I was just keeping myself well. Recently I got hired at a company full-time, benefits included, and I'm getting paid more than I ever have in the civilian workforce. The pay was good to start, and my raise kicked in last paycheck so now it's even better... and yet, I'm usually broke again a few days before payday anyway, regardless of how much I get paid. But when that happens, it's not a huge deal... it's just a few days, so I make do by recycling or borrowing money (which is a lot easier now that people know I can actually pay them back lol). My connect is always willing to front me at least a few diff times until I get paid again... I've ALWAYS paid her back the full amount I owe her the very same day I cash my check, so she knows I'm good for it. Still, that's last resort... I absolutely hate asking people for fronts, lol.
And I don't like spending all my money on dope, so when I get my paycheck, I immediately go shopping for whatever groceries or other items I need, pay people back any money I might owe them, and pay my bills. Once all of that stuff is taken care of, I usually have a couple hundred left over to use for dope over the next two weeks. It just seems like no matter how careful I am, I run out a few days before the next payday. It's a vicious cycle. It sucks spending so much money on a drug that you literally hate. I'm trying hard to get clean again though, so hopefully one day very soon that won't even be a problem anymore :D