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Miscellaneous Rants Part V

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Oceanboy said:

my fat dick finds itself only in the nicest female receptacles.
Click to expand...

LOL. I NEVER ever thought Id hear about Oceanboy talking about his fat dick. LOL. Let alone 'the nicest female receptacles'

Thanks for making my day !
 
Has anyone else noticed that the smaller size moccona coffee jars (100g) are near impossible to open when they're new without spilling some? Every time I go to open it I lose a little to the bench and floor, which is great, I love trudging coffee through the house. I'll never make the mistake of buying that size jar again. Its good coffee for instant coffee though :D.
 
^^^

Yes fucken!!

I don't drink coffee, but I made one for a visitor to our house the other day and I ended up with coffee all over the bench because of the stupid lid!
 
people who carpet rental properties shit me. serioiusly --- you KNOW it's going to get all mangy and disgusto so why not just parquetry the whole of downstairs instead of making MY BEDROOM the only room with carpet???!!!!!!!!!

:X:X:X out damn spot
 
Taxi drivers. (this post is rated MA [lsndv])

i have a list of grievances.

1. Dont fucking let people in you fucker im PAYING for this.
2. If you dont know where you are going please dont say you do, and if i want to get out dont be a wanker about it.
3. Dont fucking ask me which way i want to go you bastard, hoping i'll say whatever and you can go the most expensive way.
4. Just because im a tops aussie and sit in the front seat doesnt mean i want to be your best mate.
4a. Headphones = Dont talk to me at all.
5. Yes i fucking mind if you get petrol, get it on your own time you arse.
6. Dont expect me to tip you if you drive like a total idiot and i fear for my life, also if you are too wussy you forfeit tips as well.
7. Me asking you to turn the radio up is not "Hi please tell me about your political affiliations."
8. Just to make it clear, If. You. Dont. Know. Where. I. Am. Going. , Please. Don't. Say. You. Do. This includes the yeah yeah head nod.
9. If you cant drive please don't also talk on the mobile phone. A dangerous motherfucking taxi driver is bad enough, i don't want that dangerous motherfucker to ALSO not be concentrating.
10. Thankyou to the 3 taxi drivers in Sydney who didn't make my list.

That is all.
Thankyou for your cooperation.
 
^ getting petrol? omg that is so fucking annoying!!!!

i would commit taxidrivericide i think if that ever happened :\
 
Its happened a few times... normally its not that bad they turn the meter off get petrol get going turn it back on.

One guy...... Asked if its ok to get petrol, i said yeah well ok if you HAVE to i guess but dude i really just want to be home. He says no worries it wont take long and yeah i have to or we wont make it. Then we start going off to strathfield way (i live near hurstville) and im ask him wtf is going on. He says oh we have to go to MY service station. So we go along to strathfieldish area and stop at some derro servo there. he fills up and stuffs around for 10 minutes or and i have to lean out and hurry him up to get him to come back to the car. then we proceed down almost the entire length of King Georges road to hurstville.
It ended up being about a $70 ride. i think i gave him 50 and thanked him for his efforts.

ok now im done i swear.


FUCKING TAXI FUCKER SHIT FUCKING BITCH FUCK


ok seriously NOW im done.
 
^^^^ Lol, fuckin dodgy taxi drivers...

on sunday morning, after a night of disgust in the city... from Mudvayne to Mudvayne After Party... to walking around like a lost little child, i finally got on the train, and headed back home... Got off at lidcombe... Jumped in a Cab...

Get in, tell him where i want to go... he looks at me a bit sideways... and says... me not turn on the meter... just give me 10 bucks... im like... whatever man... just get me fuckin home...

Usually cost about $20... so i was stoked... stupid dodgy fuckin taxi drivers!!!
 
^^^ You suck and i am officially off you.

Its me that is taking it (square peg round hole) style so that you dirty DIRTY bastard can get the "Nice"(tm) cabbies.

I am going to piss in your beer.


Dude..... lets go for beers..... my shout.
 
lol @ pissing in beer comment!

im sick to death of telemarketing calls @ home - DONT YOU PEOPLE KNOW THAT IM TRYING TO COOK!!!

I hate getting these calls during either making or eating dinner - these are the prime time for annoying calls because they know that everyone is home, but for gods sake give me a night off!!!
 
^^ Do what my mum used to do:

*phone rings, Mum picks up*
mum: hello
tm: hi <insert tellemarketer intro line here>
mum: just one second, I'm cooking dinner at the moment and the vege's are boiling over.
tm: no problems.

At this point mum puts the phone down and continues cooking, then eats dinner, returns to phone and the annoying telemarketer has dissapeared.

BRILLIANT!
 
i like your mum's style... i'll have to try that one.

the whole "give me your phone number & i'll call you back at home" thing has been completely overdone by everyone...
 
Mary Poppins said:
^ getting petrol? omg that is so fucking annoying!!!!

i would commit taxidrivericide i think if that ever happened :\
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mp- i've never had a brisbane cabbie do it- must just be those crazy sydneysiders. i've definately noticed sydney cabbies take a lot more risks (aka drive like crazy fucks) than here in brissie.
 
/rant

im tired. im hungry. i dont want to do this assignment. i need weed. now. and no one has any.

/end-rant
 
Don't look at me, I ate it all :D

That was yesterday though...
Assignments are easier to do while under the influence of alcohol. Trust me, I'm drunk.
 
I'm wishing I was although my stomach probably couldnt handle it after last night. weak.
 
joannie_mhm said:
mp- i've never had a brisbane cabbie do it- must just be those crazy sydneysiders. i've definately noticed sydney cabbies take a lot more risks (aka drive like crazy fucks) than here in brissie.
Click to expand...

yeah i agree joannie :) the worst i've had is one going the wrong way up a fairly main one way street in the middle of the city :\

i've rarely had a non-annoying cab driver, but stopping off for petrol takes the cake!

if i want to go somewhere - i want to go NOW! :X
 
Heh. Brisbane cabbies...i have a couple of stories.

Mr Samadhi & I had just met... we were out at the Tube (awesome old Brisbane club in the valley) and jumped in a cab to go home at about 5.30am. As soon as we hopped in, we were blasted with the distinct smell of amphetamine sweat. It was that bad, we had to wind the windows down... the smell was eminating from the cabbie. This guy was tweaked to his eyeballs. We told him where we were going, and he took off...literally. He was weaving in and out of traffic, talking to himself, that kind of thing. He also kept asking us where we were going. Now, neither of us were in any state to really deal with this situation (;)) So when we got within decent walking range of my flat, we told him to drop us off. He screeched to a halt (so much that the wheels smoked), we paid him, got out of the cab, he took off again, and we had a nice sit down on the nature strip for a spell. 8o After the initial headfuck it caused, we broke into hysterical laughter.:)

Another time, i hopped in a cab and asked him to take me to Toombul shopping centre. It was quite late at night, he started going the wrong way, i told him so, he ignored me and kept going. I thought, "ok, this is it, i'm being abducted". I repeated that he was going the wrong way, he then mumbled sorry, and then sharply turned around and took me the right way. :\ I've never been as glad to see a shopping centre as i was that night.
 
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