Well i seen my case worker and my bupe doctor and he is forcing me to take suboxone for another month AND i must seek out a pain management specialist with this month and find a way to fix my back a bit.Which is why im seeing both my case worker and my Bupe Doctor 1 hour from now
Even though my pain is chronic and its a huge part of my life my doctor flat out says "We arent here to cure your back, nor stop the pain"....i explained to him that i realize that but i cant just say its for the cravings only (which it is too) without mentioning my back pain. Weather he wants to help my back pain or not i dont give a crap, but as my doctor he MUST understand what i go threw.
Now im having a full spinal xray tomorrow and then im going to see if i can see another pain doctor (which is gunna cost me a bloodt fortune, not that my bupe doctor gives a rats ass about). My bupe doctor wants me to try physio and lots of other things before he reviews my case and decides weather to put me on Methadone (a small dose we both agree).
I am extremely unhappy with my doctors choice as i know the pain doctor is not gunna beable to do anything long term about the pain, and in the end all these stupid visists are just gunna keep me both in pain for an extra month AND cost me a bloody fortune.
And then at the end he goes "Well i have been known to prescribe Methadone in cases like yours in the past, and i actually like prescribing to drug" (yes he said he LIKES doing it)...HAHAHAH you sure coulda fooled me mr doctor, it seems like his doin everything in his power to keep me on sub longer...even with constant cravings and chronic back pain which from 1-10 is a full on 10 every single morning.
Oh well after this month which is gunna be hell to get through (in all honesty im sure im going to relapse, its a near certanty)...hopefully he wakes up and puts me on the Methadone as i wish too!
I mean i though it was up to the patient what treatment they take? im now stuck for another month on this garbage....it does NOTHING for my back pain anymore, not even 30mins of relief....its fucked -_-.
If i relapse in the next 2 weeks (which i think WILL happen, even now im finding myself buying packs of pills and holding them in my hands reasy to pop them 10 at a time)..if he STILL wont be willing to put me on a med that will stop my cravings im going to find another doctor.
VERY VERY unhappy with todays result, i left with my head down, back in pain and feeling like a piece of shit having suggested Methadone...
EDIT: And just to add the doctor kept on mentioning the "Stigma" attached to being on Methadone...umm im pretty sure i dont care wtf ppl think of me as long as i get relief? I mean he goes on talking about how id need to visit clinics (before being transfered back to my chemist which also offers Meth) in which there aere junkies and all bad types of ppl...umm i AM one of them, ive been to clinics i know the kinds of ppl that hang out at them, i honestly dont care...he seems to care more about the stigma ill get then the fact my back makes me want to chuck myself in front of a train most days....
I mean im already on 32mg of bupe for a god damn codeine addiction, being labled "on methadone" isnt that much worse anyways, most ppl think Bupe basically IS methadone...so who cares what ppl think! Im in it for the relief not to win a popularity contest!
EDIT2: Oh and one more thing i asked if i could atleast be put back onto the Bupe pill form rasther then the shitty films and he said "ill talk it over with the case worker.." err he is my doctor why didnt he just agree?
The films suck, they are near impossible to open most times due to the child safety crap which causes you to need a pair of scissors to get it open more often then not, they take LONGER to dissovle for me, and worst of all most times the films are cracked and crumbled into little pieces due to being so dry and so thin...i mean he put me on Sub for another month for review, the least he coulda done was bloody at least give me the pill form again -_-.
Im starting to think this doctor cares for all the wrong reasons!
Last edited: