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Meth/Amphetamines: Serious Discussion Only

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rangz- so some of us are simply not strong enough to handle methamphetamine? :\

billfrist- thanks, but that doesn't really address my question.
 
Maybe some call it weakness of the mind, but I could not even conceive of using meth recreationally. i tried it once and was hooked. i was high everyday. until i stopped, with help of treatment, i couldn't even stop for one day, not even say no for just one hit. i have a lot of admiration for you, mrs mia wallace, and others, for even going 60 hours on willpower, by yourself. i never once did that. i tried to slow down and i just started crying and crying i was so scared.
 
leshtahb: I'm like you, I can't concieve being able to use this drug recreationally. Are you clean now?

I don't know. I think recreational users and addicts have different reasons for using and that's what draws the line between the two. I don't think it's a matter of self discipline. I've never used meth for fun, and I don't go on drug binges. For me it's steady everyday use. It's always a way to get through the day and the next.

I can use other drugs recreationally-- weed, alcohol, benzos, prescrip opiates-- but not this fucker.
 
It's funny, tonight I was out for dinner, and this friend was saying that he just smokes cigarettes whenever he likes, and I just could not conceive that. I just have an addictive personality, but when meth hit me, everything else faded to the background. I remember hiking through the snow to my dealers house, just to score. I didn't get high, it was definitely maintenance, but I didn't know how to stop.
I am clean now, for three and half years. It was hard, really fucking hard. WD's were shitty, and I hated life for a long time, but I had disappointed so many people that i just did it to not be a fuck up anymore.
 
Yeah those social smokers confuse the fuck outta me. I don't get it. Cigarettes and I are have a similar relationship to meth and I.

Good for you getting clean. Someday I'll get there. We'll see. For now I'm just focusing on what you said, footscrazy..

footscrazy said:
^^ Every small period you spend off it is a step in your recovery though.
Don't think they're a waste just because you get back on again - I still believe every effort you make to quit/cut down is a step forward.

How many times have I quit - probably over 30 times! Probably more actually... Sometimes I don't know why I keep bothering to even quit, wouldn't it be better if I just let loose and didn't have to have the added stress of thinking I was doing something wrong! But I've always been fucking stubborn and a slow learner and I'm starting to realise that maybe I just do need this harsh lesson shoved in my face hundreds of times before I finally start to get the point and start to get better. Today, I haven't used for over 3 weeks, and I know I wouldn't be at this point if it wasn't for all those attempts I've made previously. Even so, I'm going to get high again, I know that.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say (not very well) is that your situation is not hopeless! I really believe that even the smallest steps you make are taking you in the right direction, even if it doesn't seem so. Even the times when you feel the worst may be an essential part of your recovery...

Good luck Mia <3
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<3
 
Absolutely true. It was so hard to even conceive living without meth for even a day for me. I was always writing these to do lists, and between everything, like get dressed, put on shoes, I would write in smoke drugs. I couldn't function without using. and i never got anything done anyways. i went to treatment for 28 days and that gave me a kick start. one of the things they taught me was not to think about never using ever again, but to focus on the moment. do i need drugs this minute? can i go without for the next five? and that helped. i went to na / aa for awhile, for the support, although i liked aa better. but to each their own. it's just what helped me, seeing other people suffering along with me, celebrating along with me i think.
 
I just wanted to say that editing a drug forum for triggering material is a pretty impossible exercise. Please be careful with what you are trying to do here, different people have different triggers. If this editing of things discourages open communication of meth, then Im outta here for one.

I spent too many years here unable to be upfront about my addiction as I did not want to have the shit slung at me due to it. So I shut up about it.

Now it seems meth addicts can talk without being sledged or edited, which is what we really need. Theres no where where meth addicts can comfort each other, without others judging.
i dont like it. At all.


Ive slipped up after months of sobriety. Yet, this was the perfect place to describe what I feel, what went on, but cant due to triggering others. Which is why I also had not benefit of group therapy- I couldnt say fuck all as what was going on triggered others.

We all have triggers that cant just be deleted.

I suggerst you review this for the sake of everyone, not just those who use because others do in this thread.

I didnt use again because of anyone in this thread. Did you? I think not.


Now, I understand the new direction here but ...
 
there is nothing that can force me to take meth. I only take it when I want to. Which might be often, but so be it, it never forces me....its a chemical, in a baggie. It can not force me to take it.

Its never made me do bad things, its only helped me do good or at least, neutral things.
 
zephyr said:
I just wanted to say that editing a drug forum for triggering material is a pretty impossible exercise. Please be careful with what you are trying to do here, different people have different triggers. If this editing of things discourages open communication of meth, then Im outta here for one.

I spent too many years here unable to be upfront about my addiction as I did not want to have the shit slung at me due to it. So I shut up about it.

Now it seems meth addicts can talk without being sledged or edited, which is what we really need. Theres no where where meth addicts can comfort each other, without others judging.
i dont like it. At all.


Ive slipped up after months of sobriety. Yet, this was the perfect place to describe what I feel, what went on, but cant due to triggering others. Which is why I also had not benefit of group therapy- I couldnt say fuck all as what was going on triggered others.

We all have triggers that cant just be deleted.

I suggerst you review this for the sake of everyone, not just those who use because others do in this thread.

I didnt use again because of anyone in this thread. Did you? I think not.


Now, I understand the new direction here but ...
Click to expand...

I think the posts people (and myself) are finding triggering are posts just saying meth is great, meth is fun, I do meth all the time I want to do meth more, glamorizing the drug. I feel like from drug wench's posts she wants the thread to be a place to support people who are actively fighting an addiction (like yourself) and now just recreational users who are having fun with this drug. OD has tons of threads along those lines...

I'm sorry you feel you can't talk about relapsing :( that is what I would hope threads like this would encourage. I talked about relapsing, I hope that wasn't triggering to anyone.
 
Holy shit was that a shitty two days - without any adderall. I couldn't even get out of bed on the first day. On the second, just barely. I'm going back on it soon, just wanted to lower my tolerance. Then I think I'll try tapering again.

Does everyone have such a drastic reaction when detoxing/quitting? (I went from 40mg at a time to nothing at all, i guess that might be a lot but not sure). Some people just get a little depressed, from what I hear. I get like so weak and exhausted that I'm confined to bed, at least for the first couple days.
 
mrs_mia_wallace said:
leshtahb: I'm like you, I can't concieve being able to use this drug recreationally. Are you clean now?

I don't know. I think recreational users and addicts have different reasons for using and that's what draws the line between the two. I don't think it's a matter of self discipline. I've never used meth for fun, and I don't go on drug binges. For me it's steady everyday use. It's always a way to get through the day and the next.

I can use other drugs recreationally-- weed, alcohol, benzos, prescrip opiates-- but not this fucker.
Click to expand...

After a while it's not really anything you use "for fun", it's not even fun. Speaking of my experiences with adderall - a long time ago I used to use it to party, but I when I started using it regularly/got prescribed then it stopped being fun. I never use it to party anymore, just to get through the day and function normally. I don't even get "high", at least not euphoric or anything. I use it because it does what coffee used to do (now coffee just isn't enough, my body's too used to stimulants so I already take like four cups of coffee at a time, with adderall, just to function like other people do).
 
I'm sorry to hear about your troubles, Lydia...! I know how it is when you use because you're upset, we all do it. It's a not stupid reason. Anyway I hope you're feeling better by now ::hug::
 
wingnutlives said:
Holy shit was that a shitty two days - without any adderall. I couldn't even get out of bed on the first day. On the second, just barely. I'm going back on it soon, just wanted to lower my tolerance. Then I think I'll try tapering again.

Does everyone have such a drastic reaction when detoxing/quitting? (I went from 40mg at a time to nothing at all, i guess that might be a lot but not sure). Some people just get a little depressed, from what I hear. I get like so weak and exhausted that I'm confined to bed, at least for the first couple days.
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My detox was; severe depression, unable to stay awake, headaches, body aching, extreme hunger, naesea, vomitting, body overheating. I spent it on the couch...

I think it's how long you go without stopping... the longer you keep using the longer you put off the comedown, when it comes it's more severe.

I think we have the same using patterns from reading your post.
 
I generally feel like I am better off dead when Ive had a binge and not slept for days. Last time that happened was just from being up 2 nights in a row. But I had not used meth in a long time.

I had a lapse after 6 months of being meth free. I guess if you go looking for other drugs its going to be there too.

It definately does not have the same influence on me that it once had.

I dont feel the need to score now I am out of drugs. I do feel better having not done so. Its more of an achievement being sober by choice rather than circumstance.
 
mrs_mia_wallace said:
My detox was; severe depression, unable to stay awake, headaches, body aching, extreme hunger, naesea, vomitting, body overheating. I spent it on the couch...

I think it's how long you go without stopping... the longer you keep using the longer you put off the comedown, when it comes it's more severe.

I think we have the same using patterns from reading your post.
Click to expand...

I had very similar detox symptoms. A lot of them lasted for awhile, like post acute withdrawal. For awhile I felt like I had brain damage. The psychosis, time slipping away when I was hyper-concentrated on things. It passes though.

But I'm craving now, anything really, just to alter my reality. It's frustrating.
 
zephyr said:
It definately does not have the same influence on me that it once had.
Click to expand...

Same here. The only time I'll even feel 'high' is if I thrash about 2.5 grams. That is insanity and it has got to stop at some time. Maybe if my usage was <1gram a day it could be maintained. But this 3 grams a day business (lets not even talk about weekends out..) is fucking killing me slowly. Not just my mind; but my organs. I'm not gonna kid myself - it will get the best of me one day if I let it. Not to mention I am a GHB addict also. Fabulous - another chemical addiction. I am slowly weaning off the G but everytime I miss a dose I go into severe physical withdrawal. It fuckin sucks.
 
Claire: Im more worried about the G use, dont forget to taper off instead of cold turkey hey.

As for your meth use, thats the amount I used at the height of my addiction. Its not fun anymore is it ? Anyway, at least you are not shooting it. That only leads to more shit and tears. You have quit before, you can do it again x x

Hope things are ok down there.
 
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