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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Meth/Amphetamines: Serious Discussion Only

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I really couldn't tell you an exact time, but over three years seems accurate. At most a little past four. Three to four years sounds solid. Shit's dragged me to hell and back and there are a shitton of others that been doing this song and dance for a lot longer. What else is there, though?

Shit, nod out like a fucking jammed out asshole? All set. Stay sober? Sure, it's possible, but sometimes you just need that escape. I don't drink booze. I don't fuck with other drugs. See, the drug doesn't eat your soul or anyone else's. It doesn't do shit. It's the small minded people that that run the rat race. Human nature ruins it. Man, I'm the poster boy for meth use right now!
 
I don't think you have to give up your lifestyle when you give up drugs.
I havn't. there's still Glamour, cash, power, sex, risk..
I'm number 3 prostitute! And my boy is.. well he has a status of his own.
In fact there is more glamour, since I have money for other things now, not just for drugs

It's actually good for me, to see people really out there at parties, and be like woah.. you're a whack cunt, you don't even make sense. Not in a bitchy way, but in a, glad I caught it relatively early sort of way.
 
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You definately don't. The problem with drugs is they are an easy scene to get into, become active in, but unfortunately it is just as easy to forget everything else.
 
I have to give up my lifestyle if I want to remain as a non-addict.
All my friends, acquaintances, everyone! is a drug user or dealer.
 
And so are mine, but I'm not about to throw my friends away.
The ones that are true friends that is,
the aquantices can GTFO,
and a few I thought were friends but really aren't they can GTFO.
But everyone else, I'm not going to turn my back on them just because they use drugs, it's their body it's their choice, and if they decided they want to quit, well i can help them with that too I hope.
 
Honestly, though, (and I'll catch flak for this) just don't use then! Keep your friends, but don't get high. It worked for me when I needed to quit for a little bit, but your mileage may vary.
 
It wes really nice a little while back, a friend of my boy offered me some, and i said no thanks i've quit, and he looked real shocked and turned to my boy and said to him "whats this one hanging round you for then?" and my boy goes, she's here for love aintcha babe, and put his arms around me. It was really nice. Everytime I turn down stuff he smiles at me, and he says he's proud of me.
 
claire22 said:
I have to give up my lifestyle if I want to remain as a non-addict.
All my friends, acquaintances, everyone! is a drug user or dealer.
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yeah. You have to. Having said that though, long distance via phone contact with my close girlfriend who was a dealer of mine really helped. She was pretty much the only person who understood my level of use as we were using the same amount. She had been there in the worst times of our lives, and also the party times. She also helped me get clean by refusing to get me drugs when I was sick.

Now she is 4.5 months pregnant and clean, not dealing, not using. And we are close friends. This baby news has made keeping off drugs easier and the next time we catch up it will be for food and chatting, not running around dealing!
its lonely getting sober Claire. Extremely. It feels unrewarding and too hard at times. But your good mates will be there when you want them to be and will not use around you.

Its hard but you can do it. I did.
 
My dealer friend also stoped when she got pregnant, still dealing (and we so proud of her, her habit was even bigger than mine, though she wasn't on the needles) she's still off it, her son is one. She's chubby now, but doesn't seem to mind. She is the best mum in the world, but she's always been a strong lady, she's hard, you dont fuck with her lol.
 
3DayRun said:
Honestly, though, (and I'll catch flak for this) just don't use then! Keep your friends, but don't get high. It worked for me when I needed to quit for a little bit, but your mileage may vary.
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it ain't that easy. if only. i had a fucking insane amount of use. i get tempted by looking at sugar!

yes zeph i am trying hard to cut off friends. it's all fake anyway. my 'friend' izzy steals from me .. i thought he wasnt like that. wwwwwrong. this scene is shitty. i am glad you are doing well. im really inspired by all you getting off meth, libby , DW, zeph.. us girls are doing well. :) big inspirations all of you. if i had never discovered this site i fear i would more than likely still be using/using more than i am. happiness is in my future
 
Me too, if I didn't find this site, I would still be using, It's hard to say if I would be using more, because $3000-$4000 per week was my habit and that was EVERYTHING I had after rent and cat food, etc. so i wouldn't be buying more, but I'm sure I'ld be snuggling up to certain people for freebies and growing my habit that way.
 
could someone please tell me an aproximate dose for speed that my dealer gave me. He gave me about 90mg of the stuff, it is powder form. Done a search and one gives a dose in size of the line (...) and the other says 10mg is a good starting dose, but doesnt say the method of administration. I am quite a big guy, and have taken it in pill form mixed with MDMA a few times (but unknown doses...)
 
See, fuck that, I saw it was making me go broke. I just ended up starting to "work" for my habit. Fucking stupid, huh?
 
I'm spending some of it on nice things, it's been ages since I could have nice things, and spending some on doing nice things with the boy, but I'm also saving $2000 each week for University. I'm not going to be a sex worker while at University, I'm going to have time to devot to my studies.
 
Libby said:
Just so you all who are trying to stop ice know,
after a certain time (different depending individual circumstances i think) you start feeling really really good. and you're like, I'm happy, what the fuck? I was talking to my friend about it and he said in rehab they call it the pink fluffy clouds. it's really worth it, I'm on the pink fluffy clouds now, hang in there detox peeps!! (I know 'pink fluffy clouds' sounds like ecstacy jargon, but it's natural high I swear!)
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Thanks for the encouraging words.
Ice isn't in my scope, i'm in UK, and base was my poison.
A match-head size and your awake 48hrs min, but I know its not as strong as ice.
Still, loads have addictions to it.
I've known loads who have given up, or who have had to stop, and it isn't easy.
I've also heard you get your natural energy back.

The thing is, when I was on base, it was the first time, I had energy, first time I had an attention span, first time I felt ok in my own skin instead of cringing, and first time I could cope with lifes fake banal bullshit.
I coped with the fake banal bullshit of life, by taking fake banal base.
Alas, circumstances forced me to stop.
Supply, illnesses, both physical and mental, and the depression which set in about two weeks after I stopped.
Whilst I saw ex-speed addicts regain their vitality after stopping, I'm still waiting.

One of the things which made it hard for me to stop voluntarily, was the fear that no natural energy would come to me, as I never knew it before, not even as a kid.
I have as many talents and intelligence as the nex guy.

Like some posters in this thread have done, I think a good thing is admitting you like speed, as this releases a lot of shame.
I think we are discouraged from being honest, by those around us, who wrongly feel disgusted, as they misinterpret our statement "I like speed" to read "I am gonna keep on taking speed", when really what we are aiming for is to say, and to get across to those around us, "I am admitting I have a liking for this destructive chemical, and I am finding out why I like this gross stuff, and am finding a constructive way to fulfill the needs in me, which speed and its associated lifestyle pretends to."
That way, we have more energy to actually come across genuinely good things which we are right into, and which dont damage us or those around us.
 
oh..the life I led controlled by this .. how do you describe the day to day agony? the control it holds. sneaks up on you when you least expect it. ability to destroy life and make you do things you would never dream of doing if not for the hollow promises that you tell yourself this will give. how do you describe this insanity in such a way to make others understand just how devastating it really is? how do you explain a life without respect, pride, integrity or peace of mind? how do you describe the guilt, running away from all that is real and was once important?

it turned me into a mess . lying even to myself, denying i had a problem or that there was no hope for me. i explained and justified my wasted life to myself.
it never really releases you. but i am learning to deal. of course i want my drug back, i long for it continually, just thinking about it makes me want to cry.
 
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Libby said:
I'm spending some of it on nice things, it's been ages since I could have nice things, and spending some on doing nice things with the boy, but I'm also saving $2000 each week for University. I'm not going to be a sex worker while at University, I'm going to have time to devot to my studies.
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Oh! That is so good to hear! University is good times!

I feel I fit into this thread at the moment. I sympathize with you guys and your lack of sleep.

108 hours.

about 8 hours of 30 minute stints and 1 2 hours stint that 5mg Zopiclone put me into.

Prescribed 5x5mg Zopiclone today. WTF? 1 barely helped, I'm taking 10mg in an hour or so (when food digests), and....hoping for the best.

Help? What can I do if this doesn't work. I'm seeing shit now. I'm not on meth or stims, or nothing, sober for 2+ weeks, wtf is going on junkies and what do you do to get to sleep, what can I try?!?! Non-drug options, if Zopiclone ain't worrking im not even sure a benzo will at this point, as zopiclone is related, and id have thought it was better? are benzos better? I know clonazepam helped me in the past but ive also never had anything this serious

diphenhydrame doesnt help, 50mg made me trip out.

fuck fuck fuck I need some serious help here if 10mg doesnt work I only have 10mg, do I take 20mg if I'm still awake 1-2 hours later? I may need to check into hospital if i dont sleep at all tonight! I told my mom, shes like 'warm milk helps' ok maybe i should try that but i dunno i think sedative hypnotics should also be working, lol....

I remember seeing an episode of house where this chick didnt sleep for 10 days. this is day 5, or summin...she had bubonic plague tho in the end, lol so they totally didnt diagnosed her messed up sleep! im wondering if the hospital put me under anesthetic or in a coma, is that 'sleep', like...will that avoid death, which usually comes around day 8 or 9?

exhausted, not tired/sleepy, help? Im thinking tomorrow night, if im still awake...im gonna gym it, straight up work out until i pass out or something, thats my last option i feel but advice please?

ok the death part seems over stated lol...my friend told me that but my research is saying if i keep my electolytes up and eat healthy i wont die, my immune system will jsut get comprimised...either way...I need help lol
 
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