Meth/Amphetamines: Serious Discussion Only - V.2: MERGED with amps quitting thread

[nuke]

(Not to be condescending, sorry, I'm losing a friend to meth right now and I'm kind of upset at the drug.)

 

[Sweet P]

(Not to be condescending, sorry, I'm losing a friend to meth right now and I'm kind of upset at the drug.)

I'm sorry to hear that. Best wishes to you and your friend. I hope he/she can find a way to break free from this habit and get their life back. I'm losing myself to meth (and isolating myself from my loved ones) so I'm rather upset at it too!

 

[footscrazy]

I had an odd realization yesterday while sitting in the waiting room of the addictions service, waiting to see my counsellor. Almost everyone in the waiting room was an obvious drug addict... some were nodding in their chairs, others were fidgeting, muttering to themselves, or picking at their arms. I wasn't in a good state either, as I hadn't slept the night before and I'd been continually using meth right up until I left for the appointment. Looking around at the other patients, I suddenly thought to myself "I'm one of them!". In two years I've gone from being a bright university student with a good social life to a reclusive, sick, unemployed drug addict.

It's funny how quickly it grabs you, and how slowly things change, so you don't realise how different you've become until you have a realisation like that. That bright uni student is still a part of you though, don't give up on it yet

 

[jspun]

Haven't been around for a while.

Left wing: Outstanding Job staying off meth! Like Red leader mentioned, drug addiction and post acute anhedonia is very responsive to excercise. I am working on restablishing a good exercise program. I was in the habit at the beginning of summer (up in this hemisphere) of surfing almost every day. It helped immensely. As one that was strung out on full agonists as well, this has been very therapeutic. However, I injured my back July 10 which set me back so I'm trying to get back into a regular excercise routine. This especially helps with the opiate PAWS/ cravings.

I almost relapsed back on 7/24 meth specifically, and the people on this board provided a huge amount of support- thanks everyone . The people in my 12 step world were a huge help too- found that alot of people care. What this did was motivate me to pick up my 4th step and work through it so I wasn't paralyzed by fear and tortured by resentments and regrets about the past. The obsession to use meth was lifted from me so by the middle of aug I wasn't constantly thinking about it. I also sought proffessional help for my depression and am undergoing treatment using an agent that might stir up controversy among some 12 stepers- but it is working well so far.

Footcrazy don't be hard on yourself for relapsing

Pretty shitty being on Day 1 rather than having 4 months off the shit

When they say we only have today takes on new meaning for me after I almost relapsed- we all only have today. You have been a hugely supportive to alot of people around here so don't lose hope- I related with you when you said that you had become complacent because thats what happened to me. Hope your doing well.

SweetP

I know you have been struggling for a while. You are another one thats been really supportive on this board. It might seem hopeless and pointless right now but you've got a good heart, good attitude, and taking steps in the right direction. You can definetly do this! Worry about getting clean. Everything else will end up falling into place. What helped me get clean was going to meetings loaded and asking for help. I know that meth abuse is a new phenomena, relatively speaking in New Zeeland. But San Diego has one of the oldest meth scenes in the world (going back to post WWII). I know people that were on the drug for decades and are clean now for decades- staying clean in a sea of honey so to speak with the drug all around. A huge chunk of those that have stayed clean have gone back and resumed educations and/or obtained better employment. I just got a job offer last week so life getts better. If I had used back in July there is a good chance I wouldn't have fraction of the blessings I have now. The most worthwhile gifts for me have been peace and hope. A little more sanity and stability in my life haven't been such a bad thing either.

My friend Alex (Gorgoroth) how are things going with you if you're out there. Hope you are doing well! Keep you in my thoughts.

 

[Sweet P]

SweetP

I know you have been struggling for a while. You are another one thats been really supportive on this board. It might seem hopeless and pointless right now but you've got a good heart, good attitude, and taking steps in the right direction. You can definetly do this! Worry about getting clean. Everything else will end up falling into place. What helped me get clean was going to meetings loaded and asking for help. I know that meth abuse is a new phenomena, relatively speaking in New Zeeland. But San Diego has one of the oldest meth scenes in the world (going back to post WWII). I know people that were on the drug for decades and are clean now for decades- staying clean in a sea of honey so to speak with the drug all around. A huge chunk of those that have stayed clean have gone back and resumed educations and/or obtained better employment. I just got a job offer last week so life getts better. If I had used back in July there is a good chance I wouldn't have fraction of the blessings I have now. The most worthwhile gifts for me have been peace and hope. A little more sanity and stability in my life haven't been such a bad thing either.

Thank you! Good luck for the new job... I'm glad things are looking up for you.

 

[mav3rick]

Hey everyone!

Been a little AWOL lately, had a lot going on.. We're all being evicted from the place we're living (for no reason) so trying to find a new place is hard.. Hope everyone is doing well!
I'll be back to contibute better soon.

Much love, Mav

 

[gorgoroth]

My friend Alex (Gorgoroth) how are things going with you if you're out there. Hope you are doing well! Keep you in my thoughts.

Hey man!
FIVE DAYS OFF ALL AMPHETAMINES!
FEELS AMAZING!
I feel so healthy, admittedly I did use marijuana, opioids, and my benzo scripts to help, but I'm doing so good now!
thank you for asking my friend!
I'm actually looking for a nice girl now, a relationship, somebody to love and cuddle with.

 

[RedLeader]

^ That's good to hear about being clean I feel ya on finding a partner. All I can offer are cheesy phrases, as I am in the same boat, but stay clean and be productive in your life. Put yourself in a position to meet a lot of new people. It can happen. I mean it does for a lot of other people, right?

Hey everyone!

Been a little AWOL lately, had a lot going on.. We're all being evicted from the place we're living (for no reason) so trying to find a new place is hard.. Hope everyone is doing well!
I'll be back to contibute better soon.

Much love, Mav

That really sucks. Do you have a place to stay right now? Take care of yourself. Right now is especially a sensitive time, so you need to be extra-careful about using if you do. You need to be putting all of your money and time into trying to re-establish a foundation for your life. I wish you the best of luck in getting a new place.

 

[Sweet P]

Hey everyone!

Been a little AWOL lately, had a lot going on.. We're all being evicted from the place we're living (for no reason) so trying to find a new place is hard.. Hope everyone is doing well!
I'll be back to contibute better soon.

Much love, Mav

I was wondering where you had gone! Sorry to hear you're getting evicted hun. I hope you're taking good care of yourself, and you find a new place soon.

 

[jspun]

FIVE DAYS OFF ALL AMPHETAMINES!
FEELS AMAZING!

Hell Fuckin Yea!!! Thats the best news I've heard in a while.%). Luck with the girl, relationships are a trip in recovery. I was married when I got clean but alot of people are hooking up at the meetings around here. However, watch out for those recovering addict girls, as my friend in AA likes to say about meetings, "the odds are good...but the goods are odd."

Good luck finding a new place Mav. Hang in there.

I posted a few hours ago but my post vanished in cyberspace in cyberspace for some strange reason.

 

[Cloudburst]

I was off the meth/amphs for 4 days. Had no plans to use it again, I was abusing some prescription drugs and doing acid today when I found an Adderall IR pill lying on my mother's desk. I relapsed today, taking Adderall and Vyvanse. I'm gonna feel terrible when this wears off...

 

[Sweet P]

I was off the meth/amphs for 4 days. Had no plans to use it again, I was abusing some prescription drugs and doing acid today when I found an Adderall IR pill lying on my mother's desk. I relapsed today, taking Adderall and Vyvanse. I'm gonna feel terrible when this wears off...

Don't beat yourself up! Keep on trying! I've been clean for 4 days (I think? I always lose count), but I've been seriously abusing prescription benzos instead. I'm actually feeling reasonably confident that I can last another week without meth, but we'll see how that goes! Judging by my past history, I'll probably give into temptation sooner or later... especially now that it's the weekend.

 

[Cloudburst]

Thanks for the encouragement. 4 days is hard. I am coming down now. I feel out of control and pretty suicidal, extremely shitty. Probably a prelude of what's to come. Don't say you'll probably give into temptation, as a drug addict, that means you WILL give in. Be confident and say you won't and never will, mean it too. Good luck.

 

[Cloudburst]

I had enough of this shit, I cut off all my contacts for good and got rid of my remaining stash. With everything I did, there is NO way in hell I'm getting amphetamines again anytime soon if I wanted to. I'm starting to get the first signs of withdrawal now. It feels incredibly satisfying to quit for myself for a change and not on a doctor's orders. I got the strong antipsychotics ready for when the shit hits the fan. Hopefully an ER visit will not be necessary.

 

[Sweet P]

I had enough of this shit, I cut off all my contacts for good and got rid of my remaining stash. With everything I did, there is NO way in hell I'm getting amphetamines again anytime soon if I wanted to. I'm starting to get the first signs of withdrawal now. It feels incredibly satisfying to quit for myself for a change and not on a doctor's orders. I got the strong antipsychotics ready for when the shit hits the fan. Hopefully an ER visit will not be necessary.

Well done! You've done the right thing. I find anti-psychotics really helpful for dealing with the withdrawals, so definitely use them if you need to. Also don't be afraid to talk to friends/family/professionals if things get too bad. I'm still in the midst of withdrawals myself, and it's quite an ordeal, but I know they will probably start to ease in another week. Stay strong.

 

[fortponce]

Hi I am currently trying to quit speed. I do it everyday. It just sucks when I have money all I can think is to go for it . When I used up my money all I say is that I did it again. I really don't know what to do guys I need your help.

 

[Sweet P]

^ I'm exactly the same. I'm currently sitting on $200 and I'm sooo tempted to call a dealer, but I'm trying to resist the temptation for now. I'm meeting a friend early next week who's a recovering addict, and I want to be clean when we meet. This thread has some awesome advice and support, so don't be afraid to post when you need to! Quitting takes time, but just try to focus on one day at time. Is there any treatment available in your area? You may find drug counselling useful, as I have. Good luck!

 

[Sweet P]

Ugh... these withdrawals are killing me! I've been going through lots of clonazepam to help numb the panic attacks and aggitation, but it's only having a minimal effect at best. Last night I was thinking of scoring some homebake to help escape this shit for a little while, but one of my friends died from overdosing on it a couple of years ago, and the only homebake dealer I know is a dangerous skinhead, so I decided against that idea. Fuck I hate this!

 

[Jabberwocky]

^ good idea on not getting the heroin, especially with all the clonazepam you've been using. i know it's hard but limit yourself as much as possible with the benzos and only take them when you realy do need them. you don't want to trade one addiction for another, after all. you're probably having thoughts of getting high on anything available (i did) but remember you're ultimately trading meth for something else and you'll be addicted to clonazepam before you even realise. if you're feeling an anxiety or panic attack coming on then of course use them but don't just take them every hour or two because you're feeling just a little anxious etc.

do you smoke weed? if you're not prone to the anxiety, paranoia and panic attacks it can produce then it could well be a useful aid for you, otherwise i'd avoid it. it's worked for me in the past and it helps turn those boring tv shows into not so boring and helps me pass the time. chuck some music on, have a smoke and relax. write a journal of how you're feeling, go for a walk, whatever.

when i was getting off meth i would use benzos as sparingly as possible and mainly at night to try and get my sleeping pattern back to some normality. i was so used to being awake all night long that it was all backwards.

i used spontaneously twice last week. first day i scored a 0.5gram and IV'd and shot 0.3gram 2 days later. admittedly it was beautiful and extremely nostalgic - memories and feelings of the past flooded me. i don't feel guilty or disappointed in myself because i consciously made the decision either. so for now i'm jumping back on the sober wagon (of meth).

 

[Sweet P]

^ Good advice, as always! Unfortunately I'm already addicted to benzos as well as meth... I've been on clonazepam for about 6 years. But it seems like whenever one addiction gets better, the other gets worse. Maybe it's my mind's way of trying to compensate. Yeah I do smoke a bit of weed. I should be getting some decent stuff next week, which will hopefully help to settle me down. I smoked a joint several days ago which was laced with PCP (or some kind of dissociative). Combined with my meth withdrawals, that sent me into a nasty psychosis. So I'm a bit wary about who I get my weed from now!