GoronusMaximus how long have you been using meth for? I'm 22 and have tried quite a few drugs but draw the line at meth. It just seems to be such a popular drug here in Sydney (at least with a lot of the people I associate) and the fact you can just keep going and going combined with my addictive personality it would be a terrible combination.
[NOTE: Mods if any of the following questions are regarded as triggering content please remove - I don't mean to cause trouble, am just curious]
Also what is the comedown like? I've has shit comedowns after a bender of e pills, ritalin, cocaine, alcohol where I just felt zombied out like crazy for a good few days after. No appetite or interest in anything. I understand that serotonin decreases from using amp's, hence the saying "what goes up must come down" but it seems that meth depletes these severely which is why the high is so good. What do you think it is about meth withdrawal that makes it particularly bad?
One thing that's struck me about meth users is that they come from allwalks of life. I suppose you could say that about any drug but here in Sydney it seems to be so prevalent across all boards. I could be very wrong about this but I've got the impression that in the United States it is more popular in the rural areas/outer cities because crack is more popular inner city? Is this incorrect?
Sorry for all the questions. Usually I'm pretty happy to play the guinea pig and get a first hand experience but I don't know, meth just seems to good.
I've never actually used methamphetamine before. My addiction is/was to prescription amphetamines (mostly Adderall). While the brain action is somewhat different (adderall/dextroamphetamine releasing/blocking uptake of more norepinephrine and methamphetamine releasing/blocking uptake of more serotonin) my understanding is that the end result is quite similar. My initial withdrawal and my struggle with PAWS is mostly due to the length of my usage (1 year, though with a lot of breaks) and also from rebound symptoms of what I was initially prescribed amphetamine for treatment. The withdrawal is just...boredom, anxiety, feeling alone, unmotivated, and having no energy. It makes it very difficult to have any appreciation for things in your life such as in relationships, hobbies, etc. One of the worst parts for me has been the up and down cycle as my brain is continuing to adjust. One day I'll feel like superman and in love with everything and a couple of days later I'll feel broken, socially withdrawn, and extremely exhausted. There's also the consideration of personality changes that resulted from prior usage. I'm fully confident I can recover from my usage but I will never be able to forget those days of paranoia, anxiety, and hopeless despair/depression. As bad as withdrawal/PAWS has been, my emotional state of mind during the end of my last run was far far worse. Keep in mind that this is also heavily affected by dosage, length of usage, dependence, etc. When I first started abusing amphetamine (even after heroic dosages), the come downs were mostly non existent (concerning negative effects anyway) but withdrawal would still be present after a week or so of mild-heavy abuse.
As far as methamphetamine in the United States, it really depends on what area of the country you're talking about. Out West and in some Southern states, it'll be prevalent in both rural areas and urban areas. Where I'm from (the general Philadelphia area), it's not easy to get. The police do break up meth rings out of Northeast Philadelphia from time to time but my understanding is that the meth in this area is generally of high purity and comes from labs in Mexico. They do have a problem with meth cooks in the northern part of the state (which is rural). In more meth infested areas, you'll get a lot more product that was cooked/synthed by local chemists/cooks (but still some stuff from Mexico).
Crack isn't as popular of a drug here as an outsider may think. In the 80's and 90's, it swept across the US and destroyed a lot of cities with huge crime epidemics. The only crack cocaine users I see around here are generally people that were pretty poor/destitute to begin with. Heroin is making a strong come back in this area and prescription pain medication (opiates) is becoming a prime drug market as well. When it comes to stims, most people I know still stick with regular cocaine. If I were in the mind to score, coke would be the only easy stim to come upon. I know a lot more regular dope users than I do stimulant users though.
(I apologize if I drifted off too far off topic in an effort to answer Eric's questions. Please edit my post if needed and I will PM him.)
GM - thanks for giving me a new angle...I had a huge problem with alcohol right around 20 - and then I was completely sober for a year.
It's been barely a week and I went through what I got and want more. "I wasn't ready to be done!"
I don't know. Maybe I'll just have to be ready.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to fail at least one, if not both, of my classes. I'm not even brave enough to go to the school and talk to an advisor right now. I have this thought in my head that if I just get "a little more" I can kick out all the work I've put off in a night or two and be done. But of course, Id probably get so high I couldn't do anything but lay down and stare at the inside of my head.
Coming off of meth sucks booty. TIRED. Extremely self-conscious and low in confidence, especially when interacting with other people. I get mad sugar cravings, which lead me to stacks of cookies and croissants, and eating all that just makes everything worse. There's an overall dullness and emptiness, but like tripnotyzm said - deep anxiety. It runs through everything. I remember the first time I tried this shit, I said "Everything is so SHINY." Well. Now things don't get shiny, high or not.
I never like to generalize about anything, drug use included...I'm from an upper middle class family, dad's a doctor, went to church and private schools growing up...although how many terrible tales have you heard about a kid from that kind of upbringing suddenly unleashed into the world? Blech.
I have to go to work and pretend to be happy now.
Reading all of this almost made me feel like I was reading about my own life. That's pretty incredible.
I've made up my mind to drop out of school for the time being. I have too much at stake getting my life back together with that huge burden on my shoulders as well. It may be for good, it may not be; but I know for sure that I have to rethink a lot of my plans and get back to a more stable place before I take on more serious things like earning a college degree in a science like chemistry or engineering. It's funny how the things that drive us to use amphetamine end up being the things that amphetamine use drives away, isn't it?
Hang in there brother! With enough support, hard work and personal reflection; you and I can make it through these dark times and come out as better people than where we started before this mess.
