Mental Health Mental Illness Support Thread V. How do you feel?

[Vastness]

Good luck @on.my.way🌿! You can do it I'm sure. Keto diet has numerous documented health benefits, carnivore diet might have some but it is somewhat unproven definitively. You are getting better if you're trying healthier options. Don't doubt yourself and keep trying, your mind is stronger than you know.

Spoiler: melodrama that I'm embarassed to have shared but don't want to delete entirely

Hope the rest of y'all headcases are feeling OK today too. I mean that as a joke of course, I hope it's not considered in ill humour or anything - the headcases comment I mean - not my good wishes for you all! Maybe I should delete that paragraph... just trying to inject some humour into my own gloomy predicament...

Hope the rest of y'all headcases are feeling OK today too. I mean that as a joke of course, I hope it's not considered in ill humour or anything - the headcases comment I mean - not my good wishes for you all! Maybe I should delete that paragraph... just trying to inject some humour into my own gloomy predicament...

On topic myself... god damn I'm feeling so shite today. I know part of the reason is I've been using some drugs that I should not be using in an effort to just deal with reality... but, fuck man, I just feel so trapped, I dont know what to do. I'm not really suicidal and I'm not going to kill myself but I actually duckduckgoed "maybe I should just fucking kill myself" today. Again I'm not going to but... Christ...

About a year and a half ago I posted a thread about "dealing with narcissistic friends" and got some good advice here but the main thing I did not take was to completely break off contact with my business partner in my small company. I have an alright lifestyle on the face of it. I work maybe 4 or 5 hours a day in the week (not including endless procrastination, guilt, avoiding healthier pursuits out of guilt that I should be working - if you include that stuff... I work all the time). But... I just could not give 2 fucks about my company. Sometimes I think I wish it would just fail. But I don't know how to leave. If I do leave I know also I'll be fucking over our few staff, the company will be fucked and I'll probably make my own life a lot harder and possibly be personally liable for some rent contracts and fucking bullshit I should never have agreed to. But I just cannot. FUCKING. CONTINUE DOING THIS.

I hate my life a lot of the time, I try to pretend I don't but I do. I don't respect myself because I've devoted so much time propping up someone else's dream. My partner in fairness has changed a lot since our last conversation in that I no longer tolerate explicitly abusive shite but I feel like I've allowed myself to be manipulated into staying. We're clearly not really friends. It's obvious I'm unhappy. Our friendship is transactional, but it goes both ways because equally I don't know what I'd do if I left, my self confidence plateaued about 3 or 4 years ago and has declined since then, again I don't respect myself and I'm not sure if some of my older friends do either since I said a few times that's it I'm out and didnt have the balls to follow through.

I've thought about just walking away, like instantly, just leaving with nothing, and maybe I should... but I don't even know if I can, morally or financially... I'm gonna be 32 tomorrow... I've probably had it in the back of my head I want to leave for 2 or 3 years now. Am I just gonna do this forever? What a pathetic fucking spineless idiot I am. But maybe it's all the fucking drugs I take, including drugs just to make myself care. If I won the lottery or something I would quit on the spot and never look back. Again though... my life is alright. Most people I know would just not get it. I wonder if I'd be happier working at McDonald's or some shit... (I asked my friend about this the other day and he said he worked in hospitality for years... and the answer is definitely no ). But... every fucking day is just FORCING MYSELF to churn out some work, some of it I enjoy, or did once, mainly the technical software aspect... but even that's not fun anymore because where is it going? Just getting deeper into the FUCKING hole.

This is a first world problem though. I wouldn't prefer working in a salt mine in the Sahara desert or scrabbling for toxic metals in a poisoned dumping ground in the third world... all I have to do is work for 25 hours a week and grit my teeth whenever I have to deal with my tiresome, tiresome "friend"... I cant talk about this with him either because we've basically come to an agreement not to talk to each other about our emotions, about drugs, about leaving the company... basically any areas of difficulty which might cause conflict. I talk to my therapist and my other friends but no one really understands. But maybe I'm just a fucking lazy whiny bitch who doesn't know how good I have it. Fuck. Anyway thanks for reading anyone who bothers to read my spiel. Much love to you all.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Good luck @on.my.way🌿! You can do it I'm sure. Keto diet has numerous documented health benefits, carnivore diet might have some but it is somewhat unproven definitively. You are getting better if you're trying healthier options. Don't doubt yourself and keep trying, your mind is stronger than you know.

Spoiler: melodrama that I'm embarassed to have shared but don't want to delete entirely

Hope the rest of y'all headcases are feeling OK today too. I mean that as a joke of course, I hope it's not considered in ill humour or anything - the headcases comment I mean - not my good wishes for you all! Maybe I should delete that paragraph... just trying to inject some humour into my own gloomy predicament...

On topic myself... god damn I'm feeling so shite today. I know part of the reason is I've been using some drugs that I should not be using in an effort to just deal with reality... but, fuck man, I just feel so trapped, I dont know what to do. I'm not really suicidal and I'm not going to kill myself but I actually duckduckgoed "maybe I should just fucking kill myself" today. Again I'm not going to but... Christ...

About a year and a half ago I posted a thread about "dealing with narcissistic friends" and got some good advice here but the main thing I did not take was to completely break off contact with my business partner in my small company. I have an alright lifestyle on the face of it. I work maybe 4 or 5 hours a day in the week (not including endless procrastination, guilt, avoiding healthier pursuits out of guilt that I should be working - if you include that stuff... I work all the time). But... I just could not give 2 fucks about my company. Sometimes I think I wish it would just fail. But I don't know how to leave. If I do leave I know also I'll be fucking over our few staff, the company will be fucked and I'll probably make my own life a lot harder and possibly be personally liable for some rent contracts and fucking bullshit I should never have agreed to. But I just cannot. FUCKING. CONTINUE DOING THIS.

I hate my life a lot of the time, I try to pretend I don't but I do. I don't respect myself because I've devoted so much time propping up someone else's dream. My partner in fairness has changed a lot since our last conversation in that I no longer tolerate explicitly abusive shite but I feel like I've allowed myself to be manipulated into staying. We're clearly not really friends. It's obvious I'm unhappy. Our friendship is transactional, but it goes both ways because equally I don't know what I'd do if I left, my self confidence plateaued about 3 or 4 years ago and has declined since then, again I don't respect myself and I'm not sure if some of my older friends do either since I said a few times that's it I'm out and didnt have the balls to follow through.

I've thought about just walking away, like instantly, just leaving with nothing, and maybe I should... but I don't even know if I can, morally or financially... I'm gonna be 32 tomorrow... I've probably had it in the back of my head I want to leave for 2 or 3 years now. Am I just gonna do this forever? What a pathetic fucking spineless idiot I am. But maybe it's all the fucking drugs I take, including drugs just to make myself care. If I won the lottery or something I would quit on the spot and never look back. Again though... my life is alright. Most people I know would just not get it. I wonder if I'd be happier working at McDonald's or some shit... (I asked my friend about this the other day and he said he worked in hospitality for years... and the answer is definitely no ). But... every fucking day is just FORCING MYSELF to churn out some work, some of it I enjoy, or did once, mainly the technical software aspect... but even that's not fun anymore because where is it going? Just getting deeper into the FUCKING hole.

This is a first world problem though. I wouldn't prefer working in a salt mine in the Sahara desert or scrabbling for toxic metals in a poisoned dumping ground in the third world... all I have to do is work for 25 hours a week and grit my teeth whenever I have to deal with my tiresome, tiresome "friend"... I cant talk about this with him either because we've basically come to an agreement not to talk to each other about our emotions, about drugs, about leaving the company... basically any areas of difficulty which might cause conflict. I talk to my therapist and my other friends but no one really understands. But maybe I'm just a fucking lazy whiny bitch who doesn't know how good I have it. Fuck. Anyway thanks for reading anyone who bothers to read my spiel. Much love to you all.

Do you like your therapist otherwise?

Narcissists, in the clinical sense, often aren't aware of how abrasive they come off. Or if they do, they just don't care.

I feel somewhat immune to them because i suspect my dad had similar traits to those i know IRL who are diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder.

I think the key is to be confident in your own abilities and don't take anything personally.

So he's gotten better over time? How so?

 

[on.my.way🌿]

Good luck @on.my.way🌿! You can do it I'm sure. Keto diet has numerous documented health benefits, carnivore diet might have some but it is somewhat unproven definitively. You are getting better if you're trying healthier options. Don't doubt yourself and keep trying, your mind is stronger than you know.

Spoiler: melodrama that I'm embarassed to have shared but don't want to delete entirely

Hope the rest of y'all headcases are feeling OK today too. I mean that as a joke of course, I hope it's not considered in ill humour or anything - the headcases comment I mean - not my good wishes for you all! Maybe I should delete that paragraph... just trying to inject some humour into my own gloomy predicament...

Hope the rest of y'all headcases are feeling OK today too. I mean that as a joke of course, I hope it's not considered in ill humour or anything - the headcases comment I mean - not my good wishes for you all! Maybe I should delete that paragraph... just trying to inject some humour into my own gloomy predicament...

On topic myself... god damn I'm feeling so shite today. I know part of the reason is I've been using some drugs that I should not be using in an effort to just deal with reality... but, fuck man, I just feel so trapped, I dont know what to do. I'm not really suicidal and I'm not going to kill myself but I actually duckduckgoed "maybe I should just fucking kill myself" today. Again I'm not going to but... Christ...

About a year and a half ago I posted a thread about "dealing with narcissistic friends" and got some good advice here but the main thing I did not take was to completely break off contact with my business partner in my small company. I have an alright lifestyle on the face of it. I work maybe 4 or 5 hours a day in the week (not including endless procrastination, guilt, avoiding healthier pursuits out of guilt that I should be working - if you include that stuff... I work all the time). But... I just could not give 2 fucks about my company. Sometimes I think I wish it would just fail. But I don't know how to leave. If I do leave I know also I'll be fucking over our few staff, the company will be fucked and I'll probably make my own life a lot harder and possibly be personally liable for some rent contracts and fucking bullshit I should never have agreed to. But I just cannot. FUCKING. CONTINUE DOING THIS.

I hate my life a lot of the time, I try to pretend I don't but I do. I don't respect myself because I've devoted so much time propping up someone else's dream. My partner in fairness has changed a lot since our last conversation in that I no longer tolerate explicitly abusive shite but I feel like I've allowed myself to be manipulated into staying. We're clearly not really friends. It's obvious I'm unhappy. Our friendship is transactional, but it goes both ways because equally I don't know what I'd do if I left, my self confidence plateaued about 3 or 4 years ago and has declined since then, again I don't respect myself and I'm not sure if some of my older friends do either since I said a few times that's it I'm out and didnt have the balls to follow through.

I've thought about just walking away, like instantly, just leaving with nothing, and maybe I should... but I don't even know if I can, morally or financially... I'm gonna be 32 tomorrow... I've probably had it in the back of my head I want to leave for 2 or 3 years now. Am I just gonna do this forever? What a pathetic fucking spineless idiot I am. But maybe it's all the fucking drugs I take, including drugs just to make myself care. If I won the lottery or something I would quit on the spot and never look back. Again though... my life is alright. Most people I know would just not get it. I wonder if I'd be happier working at McDonald's or some shit... (I asked my friend about this the other day and he said he worked in hospitality for years... and the answer is definitely no ). But... every fucking day is just FORCING MYSELF to churn out some work, some of it I enjoy, or did once, mainly the technical software aspect... but even that's not fun anymore because where is it going? Just getting deeper into the FUCKING hole.

This is a first world problem though. I wouldn't prefer working in a salt mine in the Sahara desert or scrabbling for toxic metals in a poisoned dumping ground in the third world... all I have to do is work for 25 hours a week and grit my teeth whenever I have to deal with my tiresome, tiresome "friend"... I cant talk about this with him either because we've basically come to an agreement not to talk to each other about our emotions, about drugs, about leaving the company... basically any areas of difficulty which might cause conflict. I talk to my therapist and my other friends but no one really understands. But maybe I'm just a fucking lazy whiny bitch who doesn't know how good I have it. Fuck. Anyway thanks for reading anyone who bothers to read my spiel. Much love to you all.

I've only purged 2 since starting, I think of food like 7% of the time instead of 90%, my knee pain is almost gone, back pain a lot better, I require 2 hours less sleep per night... Im really happy I tried keto, if this is the result of only 10 days, I can't wait to see how I feel in a month!

About your text, I would recommend that you try to figure out how you want your IDEAL life to be. I mean totally ideal, like if you could choose exactly what you want. What kind of people do you want as friends, where do you want to live, like pick any country you want, what do you really want to work with, do you want a partner, do you want kids, do you want to travel the world or be a ceo of a big company... Figure that out, then see what steps you can take to get in the right direction. Set small goals that you can reach on the road to the bigger ones. Sure, some things are quite unnatainable in life, but you never now if you can get there before you try.
I can be very stuck in the mindset of " I JUST WANNA LEAVE THIS LIFE NOW TAKE ME AWAY SOMEWHERE ELSE" but I don't even know where I want to go, and that keeps me in this place I don't wanna be in. Uhhhmmm just rambling, sorry haha. Hope it was somewhat helpful. And now that I read it trough I find that once again I can give advice to people but have not even thought about applying it to myself, so probably gonna do that "goals-list" today. Lead by example as they say :D

 

[Vastness]

I've only purged 2 since starting, I think of food like 7% of the time instead of 90%, my knee pain is almost gone, back pain a lot better, I require 2 hours less sleep per night... Im really happy I tried keto, if this is the result of only 10 days, I can't wait to see how I feel in a month!

Fantastic to hear! Good for you! I'm sure you'll keep pushing that percentage down and that purging down! I'm sure you know this already but please do try not to purge if you can, inducing vomiting is pretty traumatic for your body and not a trauma that you deserve no matter what tricks your mind plays to convince you that it is. I would suggest keeping a journal of some sort, a private one, and each time you feel like purging, instead just write, write about your feelings towards it, what you are feeling, what you hope to get out of it, what you expect to happen, and analyse it rationally... my therapist advised I do this with problematic substance use and sometimes it really helps, not always, but, we're all only human.

About your text, I would recommend that you try to figure out how you want your IDEAL life to be. I mean totally ideal, like if you could choose exactly what you want. What kind of people do you want as friends, where do you want to live, like pick any country you want, what do you really want to work with, do you want a partner, do you want kids, do you want to travel the world or be a ceo of a big company... Figure that out, then see what steps you can take to get in the right direction. Set small goals that you can reach on the road to the bigger ones. Sure, some things are quite unnatainable in life, but you never now if you can get there before you try.
I can be very stuck in the mindset of " I JUST WANNA LEAVE THIS LIFE NOW TAKE ME AWAY SOMEWHERE ELSE" but I don't even know where I want to go, and that keeps me in this place I don't wanna be in. Uhhhmmm just rambling, sorry haha. Hope it was somewhat helpful. And now that I read it trough I find that once again I can give advice to people but have not even thought about applying it to myself, so probably gonna do that "goals-list" today. Lead by example as they say :D

Good advice... for sure. And I identify. I don't really know what I want. I guess what I want is just to have no responsibilities, not be tied down, just be able to spend time with friends and family and chill... work on myself, do things that I know are good for me, not do things I don't want to do, and not spend time with people who drain me... but I know that's not realistic in many ways, life is hard, and life doesn't owe me anything, and I owe it to people who are less lucky than I know I have been to persevere and find a way to see good in the struggle and to be grateful for what I have and a pleasant person to be around.

I do write a lot of goals lists and follow through on some of them, and don't follow through on others... but I guess again... as long as I keep trying and don't give up, that's OK...

Thanks for your response @madness00, I did reply but then deleted my reply out of paranoid fear of oversharing... I believe you may have seen or still be able to see my reply as a moderator in which case if you have any input I'd very much appreciate your input still although I'm aware also I'm just complaining somewhat vapidly so your recognition of my first post is valued anyway, always appreciate your input.

To summarise my reply so as not to break the flow of conversation and in any way that discussion of other people's issues is valuable to other people who are struggling... I do like my therapist - but I feel there might have been some confusion, maybe I didn't explain things clearly, as I never said intentionally I had any issue with my therapist - I feel I repeat myself with my therapist a lot, go over the same ground, swinging back and forth with the same issues... and therapists obviously aren't ever going to say "DO THIS AND YOUR LIFE WILL BE BETTER!" it's moreso just oh, how do you feel about that, what do you think about this, etc, etc, which helps but... I guess I just lack confidence in my own decisions a lot of the time...

As far as the difficult person in question getting better - they are less overt in their narcissism now. But, as I write this I wonder if in fact - I've just got better at dealing with it, better at drawing boundaries, rather than the change being in them. Although in the story of their life in their mind, the improvement has come from their own life changes. In mine, the improvement has come from my own maturation. Both of us may be partly correct, there is no real objective reality.

Anyway since yesterday I spoke to some good friends and feel a lot better, I have a plan now I think. There is 1 major project I need to finish which will have the effect of removing the bulk of my own role within the company, and hopefully set up an additional revenue stream which will fund part 2 of the plan, which is to hire 2 staff which I will train, one of them being a technical project manager to effectively entirely replace me - during this time I will temporarily defer my wage, ostensibly to speed up the transition - but also to remove this vulnerability while retaining my status as a shareholder - and prepare myself to take a permanent hiatus. I think if I do this I can set things up to sever ties without fucking myself or anyone else financially. I'm gonna give myself a 6 month target to execute the mission. I tried to do this once before... but once things seemed to be going well it seemed easier to stay so I aborted my plan to actually follow through on my exit... I won't make this mistake twice. Wish me luck and thank you everyone for your support and input.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Man i think you nailed it when you said you should walk away soon but not crater the.. relationship (didn't want to be too revealing).

People like this, as you mentioned, are often unaware of their own behaviors.

Does part of you feel bad for him?

It's easy to fall victim to such people to the point where it's draining. Maybe if you look at him as a bratty child?

@Vastness

 

[iridescentblack]

Trouble sleeping at night. Pain is mostly gone. Feeling like I've faced the worst, the darkest. My enemies try to change that; seen whatever in them I was supposed to. Embrace the monster within or has seeing part of my shadow in my enemies somehow liberated me?- made me wiser?

 

[Jabberwocky]

That sounds about right and can relate.

 

[Vastness]

Man i think you nailed it when you said you should walk away soon but not crater the.. relationship (didn't want to be too revealing).

People like this, as you mentioned, are often unaware of their own behaviors.

Does part of you feel bad for him?

Yes, I do. This is part of the problem, for sure, although I'm also aware enough by now of how common this sort of dynamic is between those who are too people pleasing, perhaps (I'd say compassionate, empathic, but that's subjective and could be just my ego), and people who are just fucking demanding. But I am conscious of the fact that I am his oldest friend and even though I'm pretty sure we both walk on eggshells around each other, I know he has a deep fear of abandonment due to childhood issues and obviously the fact that all of our old friends have cut ties. I would be gone too if I hadn't got myself into this tricky situation.

It's easy to fall victim to such people to the point where it's draining. Maybe if you look at him as a bratty child?

Yeah... I do. I try to consider it practice for emotional regulation, in many ways. Which it is... but again, it feels dishonest, which it is. On the flipside though, it's also practice for morally dubious situations, where the right course of action is not clear, and the truth will hurt.

 

[PtahTek]

Feeling fucking worthless.
Probably has to do with WDs of some type (or many), the pretzel crisis and not working for 3+ months.
It's all head shit and know I'll pull through... just wanted to cry to somebody about lifes woes.
Want to numb it all up with substances but need to practice a little. Not the best of times to practice maybe but then it may be the best time... who the fuck knows?
Hey, man: what's a little pain when compared to the gain? Risk assessment....
Thanks for your time and please be safe as possible.
No reaction needed prolly shoulda posted in the moan about something random thread but I saw madness and thought I'd cry on his shoulder for a sec.
Much love and respect.
Peace

 

[Vastness]

Hang in their PtahTek, our Bluelight brother (or sister, presumed you are male phenotype but don't actually know you of course ). I know it's not my shoulder you intended to cry on but my virtual shoulder is available for such, in fact it's surface area for general lamentations is limited only by one's imagination, if you'll excuse my lapsing into absurd metaphor.

Head shit is all there is really, that's the puzzle of being alive, the brain scrambling for shit to unfuck and sometimes getting itself stuck in a shit maze of it's own making. Don't know your situation of course but I'm sure the metaphor is universal. Life is woeful indeed as much as it's also beautiful, but the beauty is often hard to see.

Numbing with substances is always a tempting option and sometimes it's a path we're bound to. Although when we avoid it we gotta ignore that rope dragging us into immutable destiny and take credit for our struggle in the chaotic ocean of being. When that rope drags us where we don't wanna be... we gotta remember that it's there, and that we didnt choose to be dragged into darkness.

You know it's head shit at least so you're aware of the illusion of mind, of the immutable rope that drags us through the rooms of eternity, the rooms of feeling worthless suck indeed, have stumbled into a few of those, and been damn glad to get out of them.

Savour that worthlessness though, inspect it deeply, dispassionately, for it is not really your own, but a temporary gift offered to you for your amusement. Your are not the being in your memories, you are a timeless denizen of this eternal moment, an observer, and an avatar of the architect of the greater reality that built this illusory world of mind and rooms full of light and darkness, suffering and relief, for reasons hidden from us all, but soon this room will slip back beneath the dark ocean of time, crumbling into the immutable past, freezing solid once more, a mere harmless texture on the surface of the ocean of being, as our ships set sail once more on it's turbulent seas. If you look closely, you'll see that's all it is already. A convincing illusion on the surface of the membrane between worlds.

Excuse my esoteric babblings, I like to try to to distract people from the temporary nature of suffering and in doing so it helps me distract myself, if nothing else I hope you or someone else gets a good laugh out of that poetic nonsense of debatable utility.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I enjoyed it.

 

[PtahTek]

Bluelight brother

Yes, male.
The post is quite beautiful and apropos. It made the hair on the back of my neck stand up and put a smile on my face. Thanks for the *metaphorical babbling as it is something I can understand as a child of chaos looking for balance.

I enjoyed it

Right? Where the hell did it come from, I ask myself.... For me...? Damn, what the fuck did I do to be deserving of this? Makes me feel a little bigger than the world, ATM.

 

[Vastness]

Hah, glad to hear it went down well, I am flattered that you both liked it. I often think abstract philosophy can be a pretty solid cure for psychological ailments, if a temporary one... but my efforts at delivering this have received mixed results.

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

I often think abstract philosophy can be a pretty solid cure for psychological ailments, if a temporary one... but my efforts at delivering this have received mixed results.

This is really valuable information. I totally think that an abstract understanding can sometimes far supersede a purely logical one. It's just that, in at least the Western culture, we're taught to apply a rational understanding to anything and everything we experience. I don't think that just an abstract understanding is a long-term cure, as you say, but I think it can be part of one. Parts of the West and parts of the East have been integrated in my recovery.

 

[ekuwuy]

After doing a bunch of drinking/smoking/coke on the weekend my mind is broken. I feel its a culmination of other events and stress and being hungover and brain fried. I took 5mg of Valium and it's done nothing. I feel zero pleasure or happiness. I am sporadically crying. The only time i have relief is when im sleeping and even then When i wake up I feel intense anxiety and depression before I even open my eyes.
I need help. My life is so fucked. I need to stop smoking weed. I think im having benzo and weed withdrawals at the exact same time as a manic anxiety episode or something.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Coke has a pretty harsh comedown too.

At least we know that this feeling is temporary, caused by drugs. It's a mind fuck. You'll be back to normal soon enough.

Are you trying to cut back on the drugs?

After doing a bunch of drinking/smoking/coke on the weekend my mind is broken. I feel its a culmination of other events and stress and being hungover and brain fried. I took 5mg of Valium and it's done nothing. I feel zero pleasure or happiness. I am sporadically crying. The only time i have relief is when im sleeping and even then When i wake up I feel intense anxiety and depression before I even open my eyes.
I need help. My life is so fucked. I need to stop smoking weed. I think im having benzo and weed withdrawals at the exact same time as a manic anxiety episode or something.

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

After doing a bunch of drinking/smoking/coke on the weekend my mind is broken. I feel its a culmination of other events and stress and being hungover and brain fried. I took 5mg of Valium and it's done nothing. I feel zero pleasure or happiness. I am sporadically crying. The only time i have relief is when im sleeping and even then When i wake up I feel intense anxiety and depression before I even open my eyes.
I need help. My life is so fucked. I need to stop smoking weed. I think im having benzo and weed withdrawals at the exact same time as a manic anxiety episode or something.

Against cocaine (and cocaethylene) and THC, valium won't directly buffer against those. A lot of usage of a hard stimulant and strong cannabis with (likely) alcohol, would produce psychotic effects in many people. Depression and anxiety, too. I think that, combined with benzo withdrawal, this is pretty serious. I mean, it sounds like you've been overrun. And that hurts me, for one. I really do care.

Do you see anyone to talk to and/or a psychiatrist? If so, I'd strongly recommend contacting them about this. If you don't, I'd recommend getting help through other means. A lot of people hate on psych. wards because you're made to be in one place, but they have a 15-day time-limit and are very good for putting people on their feet. Have you thought about this? Maybe it's a good idea to get checked out. You wouldn't necessarily be admitted, but you'd be playing things safe, which is the thing to do in this scenario. Are you having any thoughts of hurting yourself? If yes, it's best to get checked out at your local hospital.

Otherwise, I'd at least call a mental health hotline.

 

[ekuwuy]

Cheers guys. I think it's tobacco withdrawals and weed withdrawals and benzo withdrawals all combined with an anxiety based big event recently, culminating from a build up of stress. It's really fucking hard. Im going to make an appointment with a psychologist. TO compound the problem, I have a bunch of surgeries coming up also, Dam.

 

[Coxenormous]

Since I’m high af, I feel alright, but when I’m sober = Suffering

 

[Coxenormous]

Fucking ADHD didn’t think it was a major problem when I was young, but it turns out that ADHD turned out to be early signs of schizophrenia