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Mental Health Mental Illness Support Thread V. How do you feel?

Atelier3 said:
I’m starting to think that the fact that I’m feeling so happy and carefree is a worrying sign than I’m more fucked up than I think. Clearly if I’m feeling good about my life right now I’m delusional. But it beats being depressed.
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I’ve felt that so many times. It’s weird hey. It always eventually crashes though.
 
Sirena Oscura said:
I’ve felt that so many times. It’s weird hey. It always eventually crashes though.
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Might be starting to crash now i think. I smoked right up to 10 PM last night amd then knocked myself out for 8 hours and woke up so tired and fuzzy headed. Smoking a good couple of points left me feeling drowsy but unable to sleep.
 
Omg.... Having mood swings everywhere. Feeling so tired during the day. The intrusive thoughts/memories are killing me. I just wanna shove a screw driver in my ear and scramble my brains to make it stop. Mornings are by far the worst. Waking up with abdo pain, diarrhoea and anxiety, still half asleep, feeling so low I start laughing and then wanna throw up then next thing I’m on the bed crying. All day I have to fight with myself, constantly thinking I cant do this and telling myself I can over and over just to get through the day. I barely owed yesterday so I’m sure I’m dehydrated which is probably why my body wants to stay horizontal, probably got low blood pressure at the moment. Fuck I hate everything. Tired of hearing “god I wanna kill myself” in my head over and over. Really doesn’t help with the trying to live thing. Faaaaaaarrrkkkkkkkkkkk
 
Aaaaaand I’m at work and I’m good.
got a good coffee and a fresh juice to hydrate.
Girls have been playing music in the morning so that helps, and decorating this pathetic stick on Christmas tree we have that we stuck on the tent. Someone decorated it spastically so I fixed it a little.
back in contact with my abusive fuckbuddy... I’m sure I will regret this but I was feeling weak, I kinda wanna murder my ex at the moment. Also signed up to Bumble again... lifted the age limit to 40. Got a nice one going.
it’s also good the tent is right next to a dog park and there’s a very hyper vigilant German Shepard in there, so adorable barking at everyone.

.... I really should not have snorted that bup yesterday.

Probably only feeling better now because I took the other half of my pregabalin before I left because the withdrawal was bad. I’m going to have to ask for a lower dose to cut down on.....

Got a friend leaving Sydney to live in the country this weekend so invited him over tonight. Hope I feel up to it. I’d feel like a bad friend not saying goodbye.
 
Sirena Oscura said:
Aaaaaand I’m at work and I’m good.
got a good coffee and a fresh juice to hydrate.
Girls have been playing music in the morning so that helps, and decorating this pathetic stick on Christmas tree we have that we stuck on the tent. Someone decorated it spastically so I fixed it a little.
back in contact with my abusive fuckbuddy... I’m sure I will regret this but I was feeling weak, I kinda wanna murder my ex at the moment. Also signed up to Bumble again... lifted the age limit to 40. Got a nice one going.
it’s also good the tent is right next to a dog park and there’s a very hyper vigilant German Shepard in there, so adorable barking at everyone.

.... I really should not have snorted that bup yesterday.

Probably only feeling better now because I took the other half of my pregabalin before I left because the withdrawal was bad. I’m going to have to ask for a lower dose to cut down on.....

Got a friend leaving Sydney to live in the country this weekend so invited him over tonight. Hope I feel up to it. I’d feel like a bad friend not saying goodbye.
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nice thats good to hear, music almost always helps, ( unless its opposition to your taste) i always have headphones at work, they play country/ pop i cant handle it ( antagonists) my depression
what kinda work do u do
 
Found out my husband cheated on me a few weeks ago with some fat ugly bitch . Can’t believe he could even get hard from this slob . We haven’t been having sex because our 2 year old sleeps with us . He had been begging me for months so I feel somewhat at fault but I’m heartbroken to say the least . Her husband told me after she confessed to him because my husband ghosted her after it happened so she got pissed . I emailed her boss and told him she used their bathroom at work to have sex .
Been holding this in and haven’t told anyone irl , it’s nice to let it out !!!!
 
sewerslide.666mg said:
nice thats good to hear, music almost always helps, ( unless its opposition to your taste) i always have headphones at work, they play country/ pop i cant handle it ( antagonists) my depression
what kinda work do u do
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Luckily I can handle Christmas songs and most genres except some like jazz and country, so it’s good. My soul is soothes by metal though- I don’t think they’d let me play that!

im a nurse. Been helping the frontline at a COVID swabbing clinic waiting for a new home ward and just today got told I’ll be transferring to neurology at some point!!!!! I’m absolutely ecstatic to just get a ward again I don’t even care what it is. So that’s my other good news today!!

DID I MENTION TGIF
 
Sirena Oscura said:
Luckily I can handle Christmas songs and most genres except some like jazz and country, so it’s good. My soul is soothes by metal though- I don’t think they’d let me play that!

im a nurse. Been helping the frontline at a COVID swabbing clinic waiting for a new home ward and just today got told I’ll be transferring to neurology at some point!!!!! I’m absolutely ecstatic to just get a ward again I don’t even care what it is. So that’s my other good news today!!

DID I MENTION TGIF
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hellyeah, frontline....
respect 🤘
 
My mania calmed down to a depressive hypomania. And I am stepping down as an mod, my behavior is hurting the subforum that I moderate so theres no other way. Need to get my irl together too since Ive been living on BL for a long time.

Im sorry
 
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schizopath said:
My mania calmed down to a depressive hypomania. And I am stepping down as an mod, my behavior is hurting the subforum that I moderate so theres no other way. Need to get my irl together too since Ive been living on BL for a long time.

Im sorry
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NO
 
schizopath said:
My mania calmed down to a depressive hypomania. And I am stepping down as an mod, my behavior is hurting the subforum that I moderate so theres no other way. Need to get my irl together too since Ive been living on BL for a long time.

Im sorry
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do whatever you need to for your own wellbeing man - there's never any need to apologise for that either

it's great that you're following your intuition
 
schizopath said:
My mania calmed down to a depressive hypomania. And I am stepping down as an mod, my behavior is hurting the subforum that I moderate so theres no other way. Need to get my irl together too since Ive been living on BL for a long time.

Im sorry
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at least you CAN post. what kind of phone app. do you use almighty one ?

before you step, with all due respect !

i can barely post but you have the majic power.

And please schizopath, don't be so modest.
no pun intended. I am trying to be appropriate in a serious thread. I just try so hard and still want to.
You are always a friend and in my heart too. And always will be. Please try not to leave if you want.
 
schizopath said:
Yeah, yeah. This is maybe the tenth time my narcissistic streak has gotten hold of me. Bluelight is my first social media and its also my biggest fix at this point. There is no other way.
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NuUhhh
AND
at least you HAVE an app. 😭
 
3QGU.gif
 
schizopath said:
Yeah, yeah. This is maybe the tenth time my narcissistic streak has gotten hold of me. Bluelight is my first social media and its also my biggest fix at this point. There is no other way.
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qnPiI5F.jpg


so it just took me 51 minutes to post this. 💓

i guess i am gone too but without even trying.

serendipity.
 
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