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Mental Health Mental Illness Support Thread V. How do you feel?

I took 2 days off meth and spent half of today crying like my heart was totally broken but over absolutely nothing except some song lyrics and some random thoughts about my life. Clearly I’m a bit unbalanced and delicate mentally speaking. I also called my ex a selfish bitch in a text - which I neither think or would normally do.
 
schizopath said:
Fuck I woke up feeling especially narcissistic and then got some bad memories and working on acceptance of what Ive propably always seen as a weakness is fucking hard
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damm,
i hate wakeing up feeling like that,
somedays it ruins my day, but i feel similar sometimes i wake up ready for the day, n other days hate the world and every thing on it, iys smart ur doing the acceptance, i suck at that, ive been told it gets easer the longer u do it, but idk if thats 100% true or not
 
schizopath said:
You @sewerslide.666mg will forever be a fucking legend in my eyes, I love you brother
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love u to man, we seen seem alot a like, i think ur a good dude, i think were both a spazz creature,
almost every week theirs one bad day for no reason just negative mond space half or all day,
i was working earlyer this week my boss is a straight edge cop lover stickler,
sometime when i talk to him i fumble my words, ( anxiety) i went to talk to him he said " here we go again" i got so pissed after for an hour and a half i felt like i was gonna blow, i was going through what i was gonna say to him " i have a anxity disorder u make me nervous and i have a habit of telling ppl to get fucked when i feel disrespected" , but i didnt say that,
it shouldn't even have bothered me,
 
I’m starting to think that the fact that I’m feeling so happy and carefree is a worrying sign than I’m more fucked up than I think. Clearly if I’m feeling good about my life right now I’m delusional. But it beats being depressed.
 
schizopath said:
What I need is a diary, not to post all of my personal shit on this site. Anybody know if they are selling filters for retards yet?
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I know what you mean, I've also been using the site as a diary lately. The only benefit is that you get other people's perspective / input once in a while which can help.
 
Yeah, but the problem in it is that I get helped so much that I forget to help myself. Its been a problem for all my life. I need to grow the fuck out of that, idk, mindset? Nevertheless, its a weakness since all that matters is my own opinion anyways. Basically I need to grow the fuck up, Im fucking 26 and acting like Im ~21? HOLY FUCKING HELL.
 
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Lol was just kidding. Thanks though 🤣

I hope you get a good 2021. This is some toxic positivity shit but whatever, if a horrible fucking junkie like me can get better, Im sure you could too. Do it for yourself, you dont deserve withdrawals or the infections.
 
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