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Mental Health Mental Illness Support Thread V. How do you feel?

schizopath said:
Oh fuck forgot that I didnt take my antipsychotic yesterday. You think dmt gets you high? Try few days without antipsychotics.
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Mine take 14 days to clear out of my system. Missing a day or 2 doesn’t magically make dopamine drugs work properly. Takes the whole fortnite. But by then I’m insane again and don’t need stims.
 
Atelier3 said:
Mine take 14 days to clear out of my system. Missing a day or 2 doesn’t magically make dopamine drugs work properly. Takes the whole fortnite. But by then I’m insane again and don’t need stims.
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1 day aint that bad for me. Theres a difference but not that bad. On 3-4 days its getting way way bad however.
 
My antipsychotic has a 3 day half life.

But without lamictal im dead after a couple days.

I can still get high on both.
 
madness00 said:
My antipsychotic has a 3 day half life.

But without lamictal im dead after a couple days.

I can still get high on both.
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Abilify seems to block all stims and psychedelics but a big enough dose will cut through a bit - though its mostly money wasted.
 
I wouldnt risk it with antipsychotics and psychedelics. Last time I took shrooms antipsychotics didnt help and I was in a psychosis for 3 days.
 
I've never gotten meth psychosis on an AP luckily.

My ex would think the SWAT team was in the back yard after like 200mg and i'd be still good after day #4.

Wouldn't be surprised if she developed schizophrenia because 200mg ayn't shit and it's literally all she needed.
 
madness00 said:
Ah, i hated abilify. It made me dizzy and feel depersonalized.
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It really works for me for stopping mania and mood swings - but i pay a price in drugs for it. It’s so effective at cutting dopamine action drugs I’ve wondered why it’s not prescribed for addicts for that purpose. It’s a bitch to stop taking though with panic attacks and high level anxiety even when tapering.
 
nznity said:
that turns into depression and desperation over time bro. Careful getting kneedeep shit into opiates, it's taken me 2 years to get off em and not even completely.
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Im having adhd tests in some time so thats good. I know opiates are a rare treat and Im gonna keep that attitude. I hope I will never think I need them or anything as illogical as that.
 
These past few weeks have been rough. Maybe it's because of covid, maybe it's the new job, my depression saying "hey fuck you buddy", or a mixture of all of them. I keep spiraling and getting anxiety attacks. Gonna talk to my therapist and doctor next week.

Lately I've been thinking about my mom a lot. I miss her so much. Seeing her for the first time in years last year really hit me hard. She suffered from undiagnosed schizophrenia for most of her life, and while the clarity and happiness I heard from her voice over the phone (when her treatment began) made my heart soar... The more negative side effects from them became obvious when we saw each other. She was so slow. Physically, mentally. It tore me in half. I miss her. I miss her so much. She's gotten better but she'll keep forgetting days of the week, almost as if she's beginning to develop dementia.

I haven't lived in the same country as her for a long time - I very unwillingly left home too young, but everything was fucked back then. Now it feels like I'm running out of time to be with her. I'm sure she's fine and not developing dementia, but life has never been kind to her. It's so unfair.

I want to escape poverty and buy her clothes and a washing machine and furniture. If I get enough I'll buy her that beach side house and pay her bills so she'll never have to worry again. She's gone through so much and I love her with all my heart. I don't want to be too late.


She's probably gonna tell me to stop being such a worrywart! Hahah.
 
Guilty and sad. One of my closest friends passed away a few days ago.
 
madness00 said:
Luminaria - are you in contact with your mom?

That's awesome that you got a job in such a time. How is that going so far?
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Yeah, we text each other daily. I really need to voice chat with her more often, but either which way, it doesn't beat being together in person. Now that I'm finally starting to get my feet on the ground I'm hoping to earn enough and visit her once every year or so.

It's been pretty rough. I got hired riiiight as covid started hitting my area so I got super lucky with that. But goddamn! Nearly all of my coworkers are vile. My boss talks to everyone like they have a severe intellectual disability. It's so degrading. It hurts just a little harder because we're all in a small, tightly confined work area so I can't just go elsewhere when they're in a bad mood, and the wounds of the situation I was trapped in are still fresh. The people I used to live with didn't respect me to the point where they refused to use my name - only referring me as she/her. So those buried thoughts of "Why do so many people look down on me? What am I doing wrong? Do I even deserve basic respect?" resurface. Makes me want to hide away again. It's too much and the money isn't worth it.
 
I don't understand why such things happen to good people.

Fuck, give me some of that hurt, i'll take it for you. Only hurt people hurt people, that's sick.

Cool - didn't know you were in contact with her that often! That's awesome. Keep focused on what means the most to you. If you need the money to see your mom, that's just gotta be how it is for now. But no one said you can't shop around for jobs while you're already working, so if you feel like you'd do better in a different environment, then go for it. Hard during the whole corona thing, but life is too short to settle.

And glad you got out of your old living situation.
 
@madness00 Aahh gosh, you're so sweet. Thank you so much 😭 ♥ You're right though, I shouldn't settle for just this. I'll keep searching!
 
Nerve pain is finally gone and no more restless legs at night.

I feel now that my energy has never been more protected. Years of seeking and fighting for control over forces (energetic or corporeal) have turned slightly inward and acceptance and surrender have sort of "tuned" me in. I believe this is what they refer to as Jin (in China) or call the path of least resistance. I recognize it as a balance of both inner and outer struggle. No longer affected as much by the negative emotions of others, I still recognize that they're there and can therefore come up with solutions rather than become overwhelmed by various sensations, without having to be mindful of their influence on me. Though most negative people are easy enough to ignore, certain darker- more persistent forces continue their efforts to try and manipulate me. I've grown to respect this as a part of the natural flow.

It's common knowledge among those who study psychology that people with schizophrenia are more often the victim of violence than a victimizer themselves. Rather than brace all my efforts - and focus - into building up an ego to serve as my protector, I've grown fond of the feeling of being vulnerable because it is much like the feeling of having skin: sensitive and open, but the most important structure of the immune system. The primary defense layer.
 
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