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Mental Health Mental Illness Support Thread V. How do you feel?

Funny thing happened to me

1- Tried to quit weed 16 years smoking daily (giving a lot of anxiety), two days without it, sleep seems impossible, surviving on benzos
2- on day 3, a wave of depression hit me so strongly that I was on the verge of killing myself
3- Bought cocaine to a get a drop of dopamine
4- that's it, still on cocaine
5-Need to see a doctor, I am out of control again
6- No benzos, no SSRI or SNRI
7- Thinking about quetiapine
8- Fucked
 
jose ribas da silva said:
Funny thing happened to me

1- Tried to quit weed 16 years smoking daily (giving a lot of anxiety), two days without it, sleep seems impossible, surviving on benzos
2- on day 3, a wave of depression hit me so strongly that I was on the verge of killing myself
3- Bought cocaine to a get a drop of dopamine
4- that's it, still on cocaine
5-Need to see a doctor, I am out of control again
6- No benzos, no SSRI or SNRI
7- Thinking about quetiapine
8- Fucked
Click to expand...
Beat the loop right in its face
 
@Mlgjp8612 - Hey, what's up.

Sounds like you have a lot to live for. Also sounds like there are a couple problems in your eyes.

Try tackling one thing at a time. No rush. You seem to be maintaining a relationship and job, which is awesome!

Remember what's important.
 
SAT4N_420 said:
*Hugs back* Thanks. <3
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I know how frustrating it is when family don’t understand what you’re going through. My granny is becoming more aware of what I’m going through because nowadays people are learning more about bipolar and depression from different celebrities and TV programs that speak out about it. I got shitfaced drunk the other night and yelled at a family member (not my granny) about how they don’t understand what the fuck I feel and never will.

The next day, I apologized and was told that I need to explain what I’m going through so they can understand better. Well how can you explain it to someone normal? It’s damn near impossible. People won’t truly understand until they experience it themselves and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
 
jose ribas da silva said:
Funny thing happened to me

1- Tried to quit weed 16 years smoking daily (giving a lot of anxiety), two days without it, sleep seems impossible, surviving on benzos
2- on day 3, a wave of depression hit me so strongly that I was on the verge of killing myself
3- Bought cocaine to a get a drop of dopamine
4- that's it, still on cocaine
5-Need to see a doctor, I am out of control again
6- No benzos, no SSRI or SNRI
7- Thinking about quetiapine
8- Fucked
Click to expand...

Do you have Quetiapine? That’s Seroquel, right? It will help you sleep for sure. I only bite off a tiny piece of a pill because it knocks me out hard.

Have you made an appointment with a psychiatrist? Do that as soon as possible! Try an antidepressant. Tell them you’re extremely nervous and ask for a benzo. I don’t know how hard it is to get benzos over there. It got nearly impossible in the states lately just because docs are acting scared over the opiate epidemic. My psych didn’t want to give me klonopin at first, but I kept at it and he gave it to me after 2 months of seeing him.

Gabapentin works wonders for anxiety too! I don’t know if you’re familiar with that, but try Gabapentin. Docs seem more comfortable prescribing that over benzos these days. I’m prescribed that too.

This is only temporary. Make an emergency appointment with a psych so you can get well. 💓
 
Please tell me if I'm crazy or what the hell...so new guy in with was he used to do alot of stims and opis and just quit. There are 100 reasons why i find this to be almost BS as in he was never really into them but may have tried them or hes still dabbling....

Cuz statistically an addict cant just decide to and successfully quit without a 12 step program or doing something for their recovery.
There were bunch of weird little things that made me think he was still using...sometimes it seemed like hed have tremors or like I could feel his hitters. If I'd notice his eyes seemed semi dilated id get a mirror and see how dilated mine were in that same location. Just a bunch of stupid things like that. Plus when he "decided to quit there was no change of people,places or things.
I asked him to take a drug test! Wtf is wrong with me. A friend in AA told me to not worry about him to focus on my own recovery. Boy did that piss me off.
I have major trust issues to where stupid things make me want to eat xanax like him bein on phone or his phone goin off. Just ridiculous things. I dont want to ruin it over stupid stuff but i cant help the way things that are prob nothing feel like something to me
 
@Migjp8612 ^^^^^ can you get into a good rehab center and apply for temporary disability to help get through this all.
a thought .

I hope everything goes well with your new relationship. It is so difficult to stay focused and clear when going through other situations that are so very difficult.
If you can have an opportunity to get clean then you can focus on doing something great and moving forward doing productive things and not being sick and dependent all of the time.

yeah , so hopefully you can work things out with each other in your relationship too so you both can become productive and focused on staying calm and being good to yourselves and each other.

but . . you have this anyway . stay strong and stay blessed !!
 
CoastTwoCoast said:
I know how frustrating it is when family don’t understand what you’re going through. My granny is becoming more aware of what I’m going through because nowadays people are learning more about bipolar and depression from different celebrities and TV programs that speak out about it. I got shitfaced drunk the other night and yelled at a family member (not my granny) about how they don’t understand what the fuck I feel and never will.

The next day, I apologized and was told that I need to explain what I’m going through so they can understand better. Well how can you explain it to someone normal? It’s damn near impossible. People won’t truly understand until they experience it themselves and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
Click to expand...
Yeah, it does feel impossible to explain. No matter how many times I try to explain to them what it's like they just don't understand and it's extremely frustrating. These past few years my depression has become so bad that I've basically isolated myself from my friends and pushed them away, and since no one in my family understands what I go through it's why I say that drugs are the closest thing I have to a friend I can count on...
 
SAT4N_420 said:
Yeah, it does feel impossible to explain. No matter how many times I try to explain to them what it's like they just don't understand and it's extremely frustrating. These past few years my depression has become so bad that I've basically isolated myself from my friends and pushed them away, and since no one in my family understands what I go through it's why I say that drugs are the closest thing I have to a friend I can count on...
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Yep. I get it. I’m just sorry you’re feeling that way as well. ♥️♥️♥️
 
Not having any visual or auditory hallucinations outside of my head anymore. Guess the psychosis is calming down. Still got more meth but wont touch it.

Little bit scared that I ruined zyprexa for me permanently. Well I guess only time will tell it.
 
SAT4N_420 said:
Yeah, it does feel impossible to explain. No matter how many times I try to explain to them what it's like they just don't understand and it's extremely frustrating. These past few years my depression has become so bad that I've basically isolated myself from my friends and pushed them away, and since no one in my family understands what I go through it's why I say that drugs are the closest thing I have to a friend I can count on...
Click to expand...

What's even better is when a family member uses your mental problems against you. :\
 
CoastTwoCoast said:
Yep. I get it. I’m just sorry you’re feeling that way as well. ♥♥♥
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Thank you! It's really nice to see that there are people who understand! ❤

nuttynutskin said:
What's even better is when a family member uses your mental problems against you. :\
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That's absolutely horrifying. If that's what you're going through then I'm really sorry to hear it. I sincerely hope your situation improves in the future.😔
 
SAT4N_420 said:
Thank you! It's really nice to see that there are people who understand! ❤


That's absolutely horrifying. If that's what you're going through then I'm really sorry to hear it. I sincerely hope your situation improves in the future.😔
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Not currently but it has happened.
 
It’s messed up when people try to make you think you’re “crazy” or being irrational when you are absolutely right. It’s gaslighting.

Someone in my family tried that with me before. I told the truth about something fucked up they did and they tried to trick me, making it seem like my mind wasn’t right. I gave a very stern warning that only the worst kind of person would try to use someone’s illness against them and to never pull that shit on me again when they know I’m right about something. They were just trying to save face.
 
CoastTwoCoast said:
It’s messed up when people try to make you think you’re “crazy” or being irrational when you are absolutely right. It’s gaslighting.

Someone in my family tried that with me before. I told the truth about something fucked up they did and they tried to trick me, making it seem like my mind wasn’t right. I gave a very stern warning that only the worst kind of person would try to use someone’s illness against them and to never pull that shit on me again when they know I’m right about something. They were just trying to save face.
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It's definitely fucked and I'd even say that it's flat out abusive. I'm sorry they did that to you and if karma exists then I hope it bites their ass real hard for their shitty behavior, and that goes for anyone else who tries to use an illness against someone!
 
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