Thanks again for your answer ro,
i know, inkow...
But in times of independent doom and DP smoking is simply good anchor. dunno.
ill try to reduce it over the time.
I could stop immediately, but im affraid of the withdrawl coming with it. I dont need that on my way to recovery, especially cause I feel better since a few days. Dont wanna ruin that :/
Difficult man..
To your question how long i smoke allready:
Started as a soft smoker with 17, today im 21, smoking half a pack up to a pack per day.
Dude, although I appreciate it, you do not need to explain yourself to me.
The way I see it... I am not - nor ever was - any better than you (or anyone else for that matter) in any way, and I have no right to judge you (or anyone else) for your (or their) habits. And if it came across to you like I was doing that in my previous post, then I sincerely, sincerely apologize.
Regardless of whether they care or not, I still try to put forth a lot of effort into letting other people on here know that I always accept them the way they are, and not the way I want them to be. And I have no right to expect anything more than that. I'm just some random guy - nothing special to see here.
In other words, regardless of whether you care or not, I would never, never think less of you because you choose to continue to smoke, or use any mind altering substances for that matter. I know nicotine helps with stress, as I smoked for 17 years precisely because of that.
It was wrong of me to bring up the bit about my grandfather, and I'm sorry about that. It's just that he suffered a lot during his last couple of months alive. And as this is a harm reduction based forum, I was trying to make sure that you're aware of the risks involved with respect to smoking tobacco, but I think I went way too far (and it sounds like you know what you're doing).
Even though I witnessed my grandfather's final days alive, I still didn't understand then what it feels like to suffer long term from chronic pain, but I certainly do now. Ironically, it's been a humbling and character-building experience to suffer from constant/chronic and severe pain for ~6 years.
Whenever I used to see strangers in a lot of pain, it didn't phase me. But now, after years of chronic pain, I find myself overwhelmed with pity, sympathy, and empathy for anyone I happen to come across who is in pain for whatever reason. And I almost always try to help them if I can - even if it isn't legal. Sorry, but the DEA can kiss my ass. I sleep better at night knowing that I improved someone's quality of life but also broke the law because I gave them some weed for free to help with pain. Does that make any sense to you - my freedom because of a plant? These fucking bureaucrats and their political partners seriously need to go away.
Anyways, please continue to smoke if it brings you comfort - even if it's temporary (and don't feel guilty about it - life isn't worth living if it's all pain, misery, and suffering IMO). It's your body, your choice, and none of my damn business. And, I know you've got a lot on your plate right now. I totally understand friend.
I wish you nothing but the best of luck with your recovery, and if you ever need to talk, please feel free to PM me. For what it's worth, I promise I'll never judge you, nor talk behind your back, nor think less of you, and will always accept you as you are.
Don't worry that's not a pick up line or anything (none of it is, I swear LOL) - I'm simply trying to help you get through this, if you wish.
Have a good one man, take care, I seriously gotta go eat something.