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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 7) [ALL LTC posts go here]

I just used a VPN and looked around bit -- there are shops (also from europe) they sell MDMA and XTC very seriously, you need a trick to come to their site and this is the third aready i saw that has MDMA . Just f i. It must not be scam, unserious vendor or something else because they are really tricky and i never had aproblem.

JJ
JJ, i don't thnk this is the right place to post that....this is a very serious thread for people that are suffering from Long Term Comedown.
 
so sorry, but I'm fucked up and are high like hell.... no apologize, but perhaps an explanation for writing bullshit.

JJ
 
What angers me is that I had my phone and I was just about to research the effects of molly and I got distracted and thought what the heck why am I being such a pussy and busy googling stuff and being paranoid let me just do the pill and so I did for 3 days straight.

I woke up up after the 3 day binge with sever brain zaps and I felt like death , my heart was racing I was severely depressed , I felt no emotion and or excitement or drive to even talk . I couldn't sleep and had no appetite. My balance was all over the place, but what's worse is I felt something was missing in me but I couldn't pin point it out and that something was my joy and that deep emotion you have when you talk or think or involved in a conversation , now everything I was doing was forced just to keep appearances.

My cousin who introduced me to MDMA did it for 4 days straight and he woke up fine I guess it has to do with the fact that he was smoking weed so there was nueroprotection ? I don't know but either way he is good and healthy and in a way I'm super angry at him but also I can't because I ultimately took the decision to consume MDMA I should've researched it. But I just went with the flow and thought he knows drugs and he's been doing them so were gonna be alright , I was wrong about that and I paid the price with my life and happiness.

I'm only 21 I should be living my best life but I can't because I tried MDMA for the first time in my life and it messed me up, I feel so stupid and slow and just horrible. I cry every single day and every single night. I miss the conversations we used to have as a family and I responded with wit and I was the funny one in the family now I'm in my room locked up.

I miss the silence , I now have tinnitus and hppd. I miss the drive I had and I miss how thoughts just flowed in my head I miss myself. I used to think about what I don't have but I didn't think for once when I was normal , I didnt think about health. I wasn't thankful enough or I didn't appreciate health for a moment and you never do till its gone.

I'm so angry because there are people that have done way worse drugs but are just perfectly fine right now and I did MDMA and it messed me up. I feel like I'm mourning the old me in a way.

I'm sorry for the rant but I just had to get this out of my chest its 5 am in the morning this side of the world and I'm crying and mourning my life before it had even begun.
 
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What angers me is that I had my phone and I was just about to research the effects of molly and I got distracted and thought what the heck why am I being such a pussy and busy googling stuff and being paranoid let me just do the pill and so I did for 3 days straight.

I woke up up after the 3 day binge with sever brain zaps and I felt like death , my heart was racing I was severely depressed , I felt no emotion and or excitement or drive to even talk . I couldn't sleep and had no appetite. My balance was all over the place, but what's worse is I felt something was missing in me but I couldn't pin point it out and that something was my joy and that deep emotion you have when you talk or think or involved in a conversation , now everything I was doing was forced just to keep appearances.

My cousin who introduced me to MDMA did it for 4 days straight and he woke up fine I guess it has to do with the fact that he was smoking weed so there was nueroprotection ? I don't know but either way he is good and healthy and in a way I'm super angry at him but also I can't because I ultimately took the decision to consume MDMA I should've researched it. But I just went with the flow and thought he knows drugs and he's been doing them so were gonna be alright , I was wrong about that and I paid the price with my life and happiness.

I'm only 21 I should be living my best life but I can't because I tried MDMA for the first time in my life and it messed me up, I feel so stupid and slow and just horrible. I cry every single day and every single night. I miss the conversations we used to have as a family and I responded with wit and I was the funny one in the family now I'm in my room locked up.

I miss the silence , I now have tinnitus and hppd. I miss the drive I had and I miss how thoughts just flowed in my head I miss myself. I used to think about what I don't have but I didn't think for once when I was normal , I didnt think about health. I wasn't thankful enough or I didn't appreciate health for a moment and you never do till its gone.

I'm so angry because there are people that have done way worse drugs but are just perfectly fine right now and I did MDMA and it messed me up. I feel like I'm mourning the old me in a way.

I'm sorry for the rant but I just had to get this out of my chest its 5 am in the morning this side of the world and I'm crying and mourning my life before it had even begun.

Head up, a lot of people in the past had felt like you, however years later they come to write with hope and recovery stories. Treat your brain and overall health with respect til you recover.

MDMA punched us hard, but take is as character development. The monsterous changes give us a dark, but interesting twist in our lives. Embrace it.
 
I was drunk 2 days straight and during this time i really enjoyed it. But now i feel very different i am little bit dizzy and exhausted. Anybody had a same experience?
 
I was drunk 2 days straight and during this time i really enjoyed it. But now i feel very different i am little bit dizzy and exhausted. Anybody had a same experience?

Anyone who've been drinking 2 days straight would feel the same, but not everyone will ask themselves if there's something wrong with that, because not having the self-analyze obsession from LTC
 
Guys 7 years in this month since my LTC started. The biggest issue from my LTC has been insomnia since early on. Still have the same case of insomnia now as I did early on. It actually all started with extreme fatigue/sleepiness (20 hrs+ per day), that flipped to insomnia and stayed on insomnia for 7+ years now.

I've been on SSRIs for 6 and a half years. I've just tried getting off them and the insomnia gets so bad it's unbearable.

The feeling of insomnia feels like it has something to do with my eyes/nerve connecting to my eyes/eye lids. When I drink caffeine I get a similar feeling in my eyes as I do when I am trying to sleep. They feel extremely wired and it's impossible to sleep at that point.

I think after all this years, this has to be not mental. It must be physical. One of the reasons I think it is physical is because when my LTC started I couldn't look at a TV screen for more than a few minutes. I would see new red veins appear on the white portion of my eyes everytime I'd strain my eyes. These red veins stayed in the exact same place and never improved for 7+ years.

I'm looking for others with similiar insomnia symptoms. What they have done to completely rid of it and/or help themselves, etc. I've tried a few things but the only thing that truly worked for me repeatedly has been SSRI.
 
I would suggest a few other things -

1. I think we need to segregate this thread into multiple sections based on LTC symptoms. I am realizing from what I've been reading over the yeras is what works for one person does not work for another one. Case in point, single dose of 5HTP almost killed me. While it helps others.

2. How about we all start a fund that tries to medically solve this issue or at least identify this problem. I don't know where to start, but I do come from a wealthy background and can take lead on investing quite a bit to help us figure this out.

I think it's time we start finding a solution to this problem. Who's with me?
 
Anyone who've been drinking 2 days straight would feel the same, but not everyone will ask themselves if there's something wrong with that, because not having the self-analyze obsession from LTC
Yes I know it but my after glowing is much stronger than before same than the first 2 months so weird because it doesn't bother me so much. And the hangover feeling is gone away within 10-12 hours in the past but I still have got after 3 days.
 
what supplements should i take i really need advice please, and anything else please. I'm feeling a-lot better just need that final push
 
Guys 7 years in this month since my LTC started. The biggest issue from my LTC has been insomnia since early on. Still have the same case of insomnia now as I did early on. It actually all started with extreme fatigue/sleepiness (20 hrs+ per day), that flipped to insomnia and stayed on insomnia for 7+ years now.

I've been on SSRIs for 6 and a half years. I've just tried getting off them and the insomnia gets so bad it's unbearable.

The feeling of insomnia feels like it has something to do with my eyes/nerve connecting to my eyes/eye lids. When I drink caffeine I get a similar feeling in my eyes as I do when I am trying to sleep. They feel extremely wired and it's impossible to sleep at that point.

I think after all this years, this has to be not mental. It must be physical. One of the reasons I think it is physical is because when my LTC started I couldn't look at a TV screen for more than a few minutes. I would see new red veins appear on the white portion of my eyes everytime I'd strain my eyes. These red veins stayed in the exact same place and never improved for 7+ years.

I'm looking for others with similiar insomnia symptoms. What they have done to completely rid of it and/or help themselves, etc. I've tried a few things but the only thing that truly worked for me repeatedly has been SSRI.

Why would you drink coffee? If you have overstimulated and sensitive brain/nervious system you should cut all stimulants. I would eliminate stress from my life for x period of time, will cut all refined sugars and high glycomic index food and of course not taking any form of caffine. (:
 
Yes I know it but my after glowing is much stronger than before same than the first 2 months so weird because it doesn't bother me so much. And the hangover feeling is gone away within 10-12 hours in the past but I still have got after 3 days.


Many people experience sensitivty to substances during the LTC, therefore any overdoings with any substances will have most likely negative effect. People in LTC can't afford anything, but healthy lfiestyle til they're grounded to healthier balanced bodily functions.
 
what supplements should i take i really need advice please, and anything else please. I'm feeling a-lot better just need that final push

Magnesium Citrate, (not the citrate form, it's important), L-theanine, Creatine monohydrate, a LOT of omega 3 with good amount of EPA/DHA, NAC and curcumin with piperine) That's what for sure helped me in positive way in personal plan, you should research all of them individually and find quality source, because some are ripoffs. (:
 
I would suggest a few other things -

1. I think we need to segregate this thread into multiple sections based on LTC symptoms. I am realizing from what I've been reading over the yeras is what works for one person does not work for another one. Case in point, single dose of 5HTP almost killed me. While it helps others.

2. How about we all start a fund that tries to medically solve this issue or at least identify this problem. I don't know where to start, but I do come from a wealthy background and can take lead on investing quite a bit to help us figure this out.

I think it's time we start finding a solution to this problem. Who's with me?

#2. I am with you on this one. You can even reach out to me. I’m not sure how exactly we would set that up. I’m into year 3, and I don’t feel as though I have any resources around that can really help me. Also have a little bit of money kicking around.
 
#2. I am with you on this one. You can even reach out to me. I’m not sure how exactly we would set that up. I’m into year 3, and I don’t feel as though I have any resources around that can really help me. Also have a little bit of money kicking around.

To add to this, what if we had a zoom meetup? Maybe I’m crazy, but would be good to actually chat with other people going through this in real time...
 
I would suggest a few other things -

1. I think we need to segregate this thread into multiple sections based on LTC symptoms. I am realizing from what I've been reading over the yeras is what works for one person does not work for another one. Case in point, single dose of 5HTP almost killed me. While it helps others.

2. How about we all start a fund that tries to medically solve this issue or at least identify this problem. I don't know where to start, but I do come from a wealthy background and can take lead on investing quite a bit to help us figure this out.

I think it's time we start finding a solution to this problem. Who's with me?
the answer is serotonin axonal damage in the prefrontal cortex - concussion type damage caused by mdma in the area of the brain responsible for emotion. It’s been shown in many studies that recovery from this can last anywhere between 8 months and 3 years. That entirely depends on your willpower and optimism though. You’ll all be fine, you just can’t give up recovery or give in to endless suffering. I got this in late 2018 and was still feeling horrible last spring but with taking my recovery serious every day doing all I can and putting down the drugs and coffee I’ve managed to feel miles better. You just have to try. Replace TV with books, Replace coffee with exercise, etc

obviously it’s going to take a long time tho so be patient
 
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