MDMA impaired my memory + Recovering from MDMA/stimulant abuse? Serotonin Syndrome?
Hey everyone!
I am for some advice to recover from stimulant abuse! I have taken MDMA and amphetamine which significantly damaged my brain (short-term memory, working memory, long-term memory).
I feel like my brain never really recovered even though years have passed since I took MDMA. In the recent past, I have experimented with Methylphenidate (Ritalin) and Modafinil to "cure" my cognitive issues but the more I read about neurogenesis, I realize I no longer want to take stuff that only masks the real problem. I want to solve the underlying issue and get my brain chemistry and neurotransmitters in balance again, naturally if that is possible.
Does anyone have a good supplement stack for that or any advice? I'm grateful for every advice, especially from those of you who have a similar story!
You can read about my drug habits in the last few years below to get a better understanding of what may help me.
Thanks a lot
PS: I know a good diet (e.g. keto, fasting), physical exercise and meditation are essential and I will start with that ASAP.
So anything on top of that would be great!
My (past) drug habits
MDMA usage:
During 2014, I took MDMA around 8 times with my mates. I was quite careful with the dosages and never took more than 2 pills per night, usually less. In the beginning I took it every other weekend (from my memory) but then I decided to only take it every 4-8 weeks, because serotonin depletion post-rolling made me lethargic and depressed (I usually needed 1 week just to get back to baseline.) Following that year, I only took MDMA 2-3 more times, with 6+ months breaks.
So in total, I assume that I have consumed around 15-20 XTC pills @ 140-180mg MDMA = 2720mg MDMA.
Important Note:
I am from the Netherlands so getting good XTC was not a real issue. Unfortunately, however, I once got a pill containing PMMA. We took it on a warm summer day, first nothing much happened so we slightly re-dosed and then, after some time it kicked in like crazy. At the time I really liked the feeling (not knowing that it was PMMA), the only strange thing was that I was a lot more energized and hectic and I experienced muscle twitches (eye lid and knee caps). Looking back, I assume this was a slight serotonin syndrome? The twitching was rather short-lived and mild, so no medical emergency. I was well hydrated as well.
All that happened between 2014 - 2016, and I haven't taken any MDMA for almost 2 years. Yet, I still don't feel like my brain has fully recovered from the MDMA and 1*PMMA experience, despite the fact that my overall consumption was (subjectively) relatively low to what others have recovered from.
What has changed post-MDMA?
- Severe decline in working memory / short-term memory. This is my biggest issue, since working and short-term memory affect your intelligence the most. I have difficulty formulating (complex) thoughts, and need much more time to fully grasp complex concepts, e.g. when reading research papers it happens that I have to re-read whole paragraphs, etc. The short memory also makes it subjectively harder to see the "big picture" when reading longer articles since my brain is only able to focus on single ideas.
Overall, I haven't gotten much dumber and I can still learn and remember things but it takes a lot more effort. Mainly my fluid intelligence (spontaneous, fast thinking) is impaired due to the fact that my working memory and short-term memory got really bad.
- Decline in long-term memory (likely due to bad short-term memory)
- Decline in motor-skills (learning new skills / task sequences is harder with a bad short-term memory)