@need help
@zero
(& later down, sick guy + obese ballerina)
It's not acute or excess worry type of anxiety, thats the problem. It's a different form of anxiety so comparing it to what you've always felt anxiety to be is not a good idea. A better one is to examine your behaviors and actions separate from how you feel. If all your actions are anxious actions, and thoughts are anxious thoughts, then its logically anxiety, even if you don't feel like it's anxiety. A lot of times anxiety isnt felt as stress, its felt as confidence. Confidence in a worry, like that its not anxiety, that its not short term, and that its definitely long term or some form of brain damage.
It could be hypochondria or health anxiety. Which has the ability to manifest physical symptoms.
Another and more likely thing is that its panic disorder. Panic attacks can cause dissocitation as a defense mechanism to deal with the extreme feeling. A lot of times people dont even feel extreme panic during a panic attack, they feel calm. And they feel calm becuase they automatically dissociate when a panic attack occurs. Blurring vision is a common symptom of dissociation.
panic attacks and panic disorder usually starts with just one panic attack, then it becomes a chronic or behavioral problem. It doesn't just go away because usually its not a physical problem, usually its caused by an extreme situation then the body becomes conditioned in such a way that it persists and the problem continues. Sometimes it just goes away, but sometimes just a single panic attack causes chronic panic attacks and chronic DP/Dr which persists for years sometimes. It persists until its dealt with, and that is best done with the help of a therapist (and maybe a psychiatrist). People might accidentally cure their self (by the logic of "just live your life like you dont have the LTC") in which case they just go on with life as usual and recondition their self to go back to normal. but a lot of the times people begin to use avoidance and distrction out of fear of the panic attacks, either consciously or subconsciously, and its this avoidance or distraction that keeps the problem persisting. So as long as the person avoids, they will not heal. avoidance is the foundation that supports the disorder and symptoms, by continuing to avoid you block healing.
And the MDMA causes panic attacks becuase part of how it works is releasing adrenaline (its a stimulant) alongside serotonin. If someone takes too much MDMA and their serotonin is burned through quickly, the adrenaline remains and that has the potential to cause the first panic attack. Also if someone is in a foreign or uncomfortable setting and adrenaline gets too high it can become a feedback loop to the point of a panic attack occurring.
Panic attacks are a long term problem because the body fears them and will begin to dissociate in situations similar to the original panic attack. And since MDMA induces euphoria, the body has the potential to dissociate when it feels joy or euphoria. Also the initial panic attack is usually very stressful, so in the future the body can associate stress with a coming panic attack, and this leads to both an avoidance of stress and potential dissociation or panic attacks when in a stressful situation.
Also as times goes on and people experience more panic attacks, the body begins to associate the potential for a panic attack with the new place. A panic attack on the road leads to a fear of driving, which may not be felt as a fear of driving but may just be felt as a lack of desire to go anywhere. Also the panic attack may not be felt as lack of breath or fear, it may be felt as zoning out and a sense of peace (the dissociation = separation from negative feelings, so its often felt as peace).
also as times goes on and you begin to associate more places and activities with negativity, your desire to do things diminishes. Until eventually you dont want to go anywhere or do anything except escape and avoid. Video games and alcohol can become very enticing becuase they are excellenet methods of distraction and avoidance.
so the lack of motivation may be a primary feature of the anxiety or depression. Or it may be a symptom of the panic attack disorder. it may also be a symptom of other things, like low quality sleep. it may also be that depression is a result of the lack of motivation. If you associate fear and negativity subconsciously with everything you used to enjoy (including the feeling of joy), then naturally you wont feel like doing anything at all. (thanks evolution, for giving us the ability to subconsciously avoid anything that remotely is like pain or suffering). And if you don't feel like doing anything at all, naturally you may get depressed or fall into a chronic depression which just makes everything worse and contributes to the lack of motivation.
so with that line of logic we've explained. 1. anhedonia (body fears joy because its associated with panic attacks, so it will dissociate when joy gets near). 2. blurring vision, as a symptom of dissociation. 3. anxiety without feeling anxiety, because dissociation disconnects us from the negative feeling. 4. panic attacks and how they are not always felt as extreme panic or anxiety. 5. agoraphobia or fear of being in certain places, because as you have more panic attacks you begin to subconsciously fear those or similar places until you basically dont even want to leave your house. 6. the length of the LTC, because the panic attacks are behavioral not physical they persist as long as the behaviors are in place, namely avoidance of potential stressors that can trigger a panic attack. It takes exposure therapy and a lot of it to re-write the brain in such a way that the panic attacks lose their strength and go into remission. Therapy can help to lessen the amount of exposure therapy it takes. But IMO most people dont get therapy and do exposure therapy, they just retreat and avoid until they become so miserable that they push their self to go outside. Then it takes even longer becuase when they eventually do go back to normal life, they dont modify their thoughts appropriately so they have to just keep doing it until they get lucky enough to have a long period where they are relatively unstressed and their body can re-adjust to not living in fear.
@needhelp - 9 months without relief is how panic attacks and chronic DP/DR works. people can have chronic dp/dr for years on end, some people have it for a decade. and the blurry vision isn't a persistent sign of dp/dr, it's only temporary manifestation of the dp/dr. however the Dp/dr is persistent although may go un-noticed for large portions of the day as long as you are relatively unstressed. under stress symptoms manifest more. brain fog is also a symptom of dp/dr, and a lot of visual issues are also associated with dp/dr.
@sickguy "My life since LTC is totally meaningless, and I just try to survive another day. " that is text book depression though man. And while you might still be able to laugh, it doesnt mean you aren't dealing with chronic depression. It may be low grade and not very noticable, but its highly likely you are dealing with depression. Chronic depression can persist for years, so just because its longer than you've ever experienced before doesn't mean its not depression. Try filling out a depression questionaire and see what it says, most likely will say you have depression.
@obease ballerina - you just stated the difference between acute and chronic anxiety, so I dont think you do understand anxiety. Acute anxiety goes away when the source of the anxiety goes away. Chronic anxiety persists because its based on a series of experiences, thoughts, and behaviors. Its a big tangled knot that needs to be un-done in order to go away. And without help from a behavioral therapist, and probably a psychiatrist, the odds of it going away without massive effort is very low. Also because its behavioral and thought based, it wont go away with time, it will go away when the thoughts and behaviors that support it are eliminated.
also @need help - you are constantly worried that what you have is a unique form of LTC and that you won't recover. I know that becuase you are always asking if people have the symptoms that you have, then trying to seek assurance that they got better. That is anxious behavior, so even if you don't feel it as acute anxiety, there is still some anxiety there.
@ finally. I've recovered 100% and I'm with mikypanza on the "its a traumatic experience that causes long term anxiety and depression". That's a variation of what I've been saying for so long and in this post too. The panic attacks is usually the traumatic experience which triggers the brain fog, dissociation, dp/dr, head pressure, and a lot of other symptoms. Head pressure and other physical symptoms can also be a sign of chronic anxiety or chronic depression.
What helped me to recover was thought modification techniques and exposure therapy. I didn't have a therapist at the time but I've went to therapy for a total of about 5 years over the past 10, usually once every month or every 2 months. Plus I studied psychology in college as a minor so I know a lot about psychology which helped me to deal with the negative thought loops and patterns of the LTC.
eating healthy, exercise, supplements, etc. a lot of that stuff helped maintain overall health, but I don't think it helped me with the LTC. it only gave me a small boost because I was not doing them before. When I did all those things for months on end it didn't end the LTC. When I started to practice exposure therapy combined with thought modification techniques, my symptoms diminished over about 1 to 2 months, with a dramatic reduction within a week or two and taking another month or so before the other symptoms faded.
and yes, maybe I have a few bad behaviors that are still stuck because I practiced excessive worry for almost a year. I think thats natural and not LTC. If you do anything for a year or longer, its not going to just go away immediately, it will take time to develop a new way of being and that new way of being only sticks with diligence and practice. One example of the "bad behavior" is health anxiety, sometimes when I get a physical symptom I still have the tendency to obsess over it and research ways to alleviate it. I've always had health anxiety though, its a feature of my general anxiety, and what I did during the LTC ( and still do now) is to just note it and accept it. I just go "yep, that an anxious thought", and if its a persistent symptom (like a swollen tonsil I've had for a month) then I'll go do the doctor. If the doctor says "Idk, should go away within a month or two" then I just wait and trust the doctor. I don't go home and go "what a dumb doctor, its obviously cancer, mayoclinic says its possible cancer!" and stew in a muck of anxiety.
Also another thing is that the brain fog may not be a symptom of the LTC. it might be caused by something else entirely. I gained like 30lb during the LTC because I became fearful of a lot of the things that used to keep me active. I also began to stress eat as a form of anti-depressant. which i used to smoke weed but when I quit that I started to stress eat. With that 30 lb of weight I went from overweight to barely obease (30.1 BMI, 30 is obease). I'm pretty sure the lingering brain fog that I have is because of the extra weight, not only does the extra weight cause brain fog but I'm pretty sure I also developed sleep apnea. I may have had minor sleep apnea before but with the extra weight I think it got bad. I have all the symptoms of sleep apnea and multiple close family members have it. I'm on a diet now and will be getting a sleep study (and hopefully a CPAP machine to help me sleep). I should have some results in a few months to report back but I'm confident that the poor quality of sleep is wrecking my brain.
also anxiety causes people to get lower quality of sleep and wake during the night. Pretty much every night I wake up 2-3 times. Maybe one night a month I won't wake up during the night. So the anxiety wrecked my sleep, and probably contributed to brain fog. also the weight contributed to brain fog. and the weight contributed to sleep apnea which contributed to brain fog (and is probably the main source of it). also I stopped doing a lot of the things that kept me active, which contributed to anxiety, depression, and also lowered my sleep quality.
and thats just one side of things. I don't eat 100% well so there is probably a little bit of brain fog there. I may have developed a new food allergy (I'm thinking a small allergy to dairy based on my experiments) which is also probably contributing to brain fog. Also I haven't had a regular routine or regular social activity, which is contributing to brain fog.
another thing is the last 5-6 months I've been playing a lot of video games, indulging in caffine (since it stopped giving me anxiety I love it once again) (also probably have such a strong urge for it because it boosts mood and also helps combat the morning fatigue I probably get from sleep apnea), and chewing tobacco. Also I've been fapping like crazy to de-stress. All of those things contribute to brain fog. I've also been sitting on my ass wayyy too much. I probably sit for 13 out of the 16 hours I'm awake, and that contributes to brain fog! almost everything I'm doing contributes to brain fog. so I don't obsess or worry about the brain fog becuase I like the other things I do. Eventually maybe I'll get tired of it and do everything in my power to eliminate it, but for now I just do a handful of things and accept it as a consequence of the bad health habits that I indulge in.
so yeah, there are like 150x things that are contributing to brain fog. I'm not even worried about the brain fog TBH. It's so common that probably most of society has some form of brain fog. Most people don't care or don't notice it though.
If I do everything right and I still have brain fog, I wouldn't even worry in that case. If nothing can be done about it, then I'll just have to accept that it's part of my life and live with it.
@ one last thing. SSRI is first line of medication. A lot of people dont respond well to it. In that case a doctor usually prescribes a second line of medication. And if that doesnt work, a third line of medication. For my personal chemistry what works is a tetracycle antidepressant (mirtazipine), which is a third line of medication so it took me 4-5 tries before I finally found it.
mirtazipine also works on the adrnealine parts of the brain, so it helps me with my anxiety too. And since it seems logical that the LTC affects the adrenaline parts of the brain (adrenaline, cortisol, etc. all fuel anxiety in the brain), a medication that works on those parts should help the anxiety features of the LTC.
also I've heard busparione would probably help a lot of people. its a short term antidepressant and anti anxiety that works on mostly the norepinephrine parts of the brain and leaves the serotonin areas unaffected. it also has almost zero side effects and is pretty much the safest antidepressant out there. IMO a lot of people with LTC would like it, if for no other reason just because its so safe. but also maybe because it doesnt interfere with serotonin parts of the brain which many LTC sufferrs are worried is damaged in some way so they probably dont want a medication that interacts with those parts.
what works for you may also be a second or third line of medication, and doctors typically dont prescribe those right away. However if you don't go in and don't start the process of finding which medication your body responds to, you will never know.
also I haven't been on the antidepressant yet. it worked for me 2 years before the LTC. I'm going back next month to get it prescribed again (yayy, finally got medical insurance again). As with the brain fog and sleep apnea, I'll report back if it boosts my mood and quality of life like it did years ago.