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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 7) [ALL LTC posts go here]

^^^Good diet and exercise take a VERY long time for results but once you get them they stick around. Pharmaceuticals will bandage the problem in a few hours/days but may only be covering up a festering wound only to be rediscovered later once the bandage is removed.

Then once your committed to such a healthy lifestyle there is no going back, whether you have LTC or not.. I don?t have LTC but I can?t so much as eat a bite of a McDonalds burger or a sip of cheap beer without getting deathly ill. This coming from someone that used to live off the dollar menu. Your body adapts to the new level of normal and won?t accepr anything less.

I?d say for most of you, this is a moment where you have to make some tough decisions and truly ask yourself how badly do you want it. I completely understand just how hard it is to push yourself through, but look at this as do or die.

The longer you wait to make the changes the harder it will be and may eventually become impossible.

With all that said, remember people that everyone is constantly feeling as if there trying to keep up with everyone else around us. If you feel your brain is at 20-30% capacity, well then welcome to the minds of the other 90% of the population. We are all overworked, underpaid, consuming any stimulant we can just to make it to clocking out.. We are all fed this version of reality that isn?t true, and we aren?t meant to work like we are.. I?m fucking tired and brain dead but only because life is a constant shit storm that we just accept because no one has the balls to step up and rock the boat. Rant end..

I?ve known a few individuals who?ve healed themselves 100% with a healthy lifestyle, magnesium threonate and fish oil. They recovered fairly quickly. They also all had extremely positive attitudes and determination to get better.

-GC

any with physical/visual symtoms? I’ve been doing all the above for a while with no avail.
 
^^^Good diet and exercise take a VERY long time for results but once you get them they stick around. Pharmaceuticals will bandage the problem in a few hours/days but may only be covering up a festering wound only to be rediscovered later once the bandage is removed.

Then once your committed to such a healthy lifestyle there is no going back, whether you have LTC or not.. I don?t have LTC but I can?t so much as eat a bite of a McDonalds burger or a sip of cheap beer without getting deathly ill. This coming from someone that used to live off the dollar menu. Your body adapts to the new level of normal and won?t accepr anything less.

I?d say for most of you, this is a moment where you have to make some tough decisions and truly ask yourself how badly do you want it. I completely understand just how hard it is to push yourself through, but look at this as do or die.

The longer you wait to make the changes the harder it will be and may eventually become impossible.

With all that said, remember people that everyone is constantly feeling as if there trying to keep up with everyone else around us. If you feel your brain is at 20-30% capacity, well then welcome to the minds of the other 90% of the population. We are all overworked, underpaid, consuming any stimulant we can just to make it to clocking out.. We are all fed this version of reality that isn?t true, and we aren?t meant to work like we are.. I?m fucking tired and brain dead but only because life is a constant shit storm that we just accept because no one has the balls to step up and rock the boat. Rant end..

I?ve known a few individuals who?ve healed themselves 100% with a healthy lifestyle, magnesium threonate and fish oil. They recovered fairly quickly. They also all had extremely positive attitudes and determination to get better.

-GC

Due to the mechanism and dosage of an actual psychedelic the active ingredient is in micrograms. It mimics 5-ht in the brain, giving you all its weird effects. I think it would be more a psychological effect than pharmaceutical. One psychedelic experience could be equivalent of hundreds of hours of therapy (if you're lucky to be positive and actually targeted), because your feelings and awareness is much much more sensitive to the environment and inner-thoughts. Also it can give you anxiety or even PTSD from a bad trip for the same reason.

About the healthy lifestyle what discouraged me is that once I stop the healthy lifestyle my symptoms come to me at full force. However I'm honest that I didn't live this way more than 3-4 weeks.

Now I've started eating in 3 Hour window a day, and only dense-nutrient foods. Feeling alright and plan to stick with it for at least months to years, hope it will be a game changer.
 
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Thank you Mikypanza! Been trying LSD for this reason, but didn't workout for me, maybe good for the depression. Do you think shrooms will have different effect?
For me, shrooms are more an emotional experiance then LSD.
LSD is more a drug feel experiance who i can control more and i know its a drug when i trip but shrooms comes more organic to me if this makes sense? And more more europhoria then LSD. Like you said, LSD works to break out from a depression but shrooms also takes away anxiety better for me and i feel more connected to everything on shrooms.
Psychadelics are hard explained :p
 
Sorry ZeroLuck that messaged wasn?t aimed at you, not sure how that happened actually lol.

As for psychedelics, yes I believe they can help and have seen people use them beneficially as well. I?d suggest low/microdoses of DMT, Mushrooms or Mescaline. Psychedelics are shown cause neurogenesis and studies show people that use them are more mentally sound than those that don?t.

-GC
 
I need to ask something of you guys as something I read has really got me into a bad state.

I read that because my serotonin axons and neurons were completely destroyed, taking ssris or 5htp or anything that might increase my serotonin levels would be useless, as they would even be able to be used?

This makes logical sense to me, but has brought me to the point of total panic and I see no way back from it.

I was happier not knowing this information, but I've done it now. ?
 
I need to ask something of you guys as something I read has really got me into a bad state.

I read that because my serotonin axons and neurons were completely destroyed, taking ssris or 5htp or anything that might increase my serotonin levels would be useless, as they would even be able to be used?

This makes logical sense to me, but has brought me to the point of total panic and I see no way back from it.

I was happier not knowing this information, but I've done it now. 

Well, I'm in the same situation and I do respond well to an SSRI. Still I have a lot of symptoms, but I don't have anxiety and am way less depressed since being on an SSRI. So that would mean serotonin axons aren't destroyed.

I've also been panicking while reading al the post about brain damage etc. While I don't know what happend to us, it may or may not be brain damage. Still I found it hard to believe we did permanent damage.
 
I need to ask something of you guys as something I read has really got me into a bad state.

I read that because my serotonin axons and neurons were completely destroyed, taking ssris or 5htp or anything that might increase my serotonin levels would be useless, as they would even be able to be used?

This makes logical sense to me, but has brought me to the point of total panic and I see no way back from it.

I was happier not knowing this information, but I've done it now. ?
Thats a myth that all of your Axon and neurons are all completely destroyed, because your body produces new all the time like all other things in your body but takes time, and most of your seratonin are in your gut, not in your brain.

One thing with with microdosing psilosybin is that, if you have dead axons, it helps remapping the healthy together again and leaves the dead alone and creates a good gut flora

So dont go around and think you have killed all your axons and you never have any seratonin again since its impossible :p

Im a strong believer that after a traumatic experianced that we all had, maby we all need a SSRI,Shrooms or another medicine of choice just some time to bounce out of the depression of anxiety it creates. So dont be afraid to get help from a doctor or if you are like me, experement with psychadelics.
And those who posts things like "dont take any meds because it just shoots up your problem and takes away your symtoms temporary" are people who dont have read enough about seratonin.

Just be aware, this can happen the best and sometime in our lifes, we might just need some help to get our shit together before feeling good again. And dont forget there is alot of propaganda out there on the webb just to provent us using drugs or even try them so better go to a doctor, tell then your story and get the help you need because there is no shame in that
 
Thats a myth that all of your Axon and neurons are all completely destroyed, because your body produces new all the time like all other things in your body but takes time, and most of your seratonin are in your gut, not in your brain.

One thing with with microdosing psilosybin is that, if you have dead axons, it helps remapping the healthy together again and leaves the dead alone and creates a good gut flora

So dont go around and think you have killed all your axons and you never have any seratonin again since its impossible :p

Im a strong believer that after a traumatic experianced that we all had, maby we all need a SSRI,Shrooms or another medicine of choice just some time to bounce out of the depression of anxiety it creates. So dont be afraid to get help from a doctor or if you are like me, experement with psychadelics.
And those who posts things like "dont take any meds because it just shoots up your problem and takes away your symtoms temporary" are people who dont have read enough about seratonin.

Just be aware, this can happen the best and sometime in our lifes, we might just need some help to get our shit together before feeling good again. And dont forget there is alot of propaganda out there on the webb just to provent us using drugs or even try them so better go to a doctor, tell then your story and get the help you need because there is no shame in that

i believe the studies showed neuron death - which is permanent damage. In monkey models even after 7 years the there was still damage. And yes it was a high dose, but also people on this forum took high doses and mixed with other drugs.
 
Try focus on exercise, good food, meditation & stop reading forums and online articles. I?ve done it in the past & it just sends you into a cycle of anxiety.
 
@need help
@zero

(& later down, sick guy + obese ballerina)

It's not acute or excess worry type of anxiety, thats the problem. It's a different form of anxiety so comparing it to what you've always felt anxiety to be is not a good idea. A better one is to examine your behaviors and actions separate from how you feel. If all your actions are anxious actions, and thoughts are anxious thoughts, then its logically anxiety, even if you don't feel like it's anxiety. A lot of times anxiety isnt felt as stress, its felt as confidence. Confidence in a worry, like that its not anxiety, that its not short term, and that its definitely long term or some form of brain damage.

It could be hypochondria or health anxiety. Which has the ability to manifest physical symptoms.

Another and more likely thing is that its panic disorder. Panic attacks can cause dissocitation as a defense mechanism to deal with the extreme feeling. A lot of times people dont even feel extreme panic during a panic attack, they feel calm. And they feel calm becuase they automatically dissociate when a panic attack occurs. Blurring vision is a common symptom of dissociation.

panic attacks and panic disorder usually starts with just one panic attack, then it becomes a chronic or behavioral problem. It doesn't just go away because usually its not a physical problem, usually its caused by an extreme situation then the body becomes conditioned in such a way that it persists and the problem continues. Sometimes it just goes away, but sometimes just a single panic attack causes chronic panic attacks and chronic DP/Dr which persists for years sometimes. It persists until its dealt with, and that is best done with the help of a therapist (and maybe a psychiatrist). People might accidentally cure their self (by the logic of "just live your life like you dont have the LTC") in which case they just go on with life as usual and recondition their self to go back to normal. but a lot of the times people begin to use avoidance and distrction out of fear of the panic attacks, either consciously or subconsciously, and its this avoidance or distraction that keeps the problem persisting. So as long as the person avoids, they will not heal. avoidance is the foundation that supports the disorder and symptoms, by continuing to avoid you block healing.

And the MDMA causes panic attacks becuase part of how it works is releasing adrenaline (its a stimulant) alongside serotonin. If someone takes too much MDMA and their serotonin is burned through quickly, the adrenaline remains and that has the potential to cause the first panic attack. Also if someone is in a foreign or uncomfortable setting and adrenaline gets too high it can become a feedback loop to the point of a panic attack occurring.

Panic attacks are a long term problem because the body fears them and will begin to dissociate in situations similar to the original panic attack. And since MDMA induces euphoria, the body has the potential to dissociate when it feels joy or euphoria. Also the initial panic attack is usually very stressful, so in the future the body can associate stress with a coming panic attack, and this leads to both an avoidance of stress and potential dissociation or panic attacks when in a stressful situation.

Also as times goes on and people experience more panic attacks, the body begins to associate the potential for a panic attack with the new place. A panic attack on the road leads to a fear of driving, which may not be felt as a fear of driving but may just be felt as a lack of desire to go anywhere. Also the panic attack may not be felt as lack of breath or fear, it may be felt as zoning out and a sense of peace (the dissociation = separation from negative feelings, so its often felt as peace).

also as times goes on and you begin to associate more places and activities with negativity, your desire to do things diminishes. Until eventually you dont want to go anywhere or do anything except escape and avoid. Video games and alcohol can become very enticing becuase they are excellenet methods of distraction and avoidance.

so the lack of motivation may be a primary feature of the anxiety or depression. Or it may be a symptom of the panic attack disorder. it may also be a symptom of other things, like low quality sleep. it may also be that depression is a result of the lack of motivation. If you associate fear and negativity subconsciously with everything you used to enjoy (including the feeling of joy), then naturally you wont feel like doing anything at all. (thanks evolution, for giving us the ability to subconsciously avoid anything that remotely is like pain or suffering). And if you don't feel like doing anything at all, naturally you may get depressed or fall into a chronic depression which just makes everything worse and contributes to the lack of motivation.

so with that line of logic we've explained. 1. anhedonia (body fears joy because its associated with panic attacks, so it will dissociate when joy gets near). 2. blurring vision, as a symptom of dissociation. 3. anxiety without feeling anxiety, because dissociation disconnects us from the negative feeling. 4. panic attacks and how they are not always felt as extreme panic or anxiety. 5. agoraphobia or fear of being in certain places, because as you have more panic attacks you begin to subconsciously fear those or similar places until you basically dont even want to leave your house. 6. the length of the LTC, because the panic attacks are behavioral not physical they persist as long as the behaviors are in place, namely avoidance of potential stressors that can trigger a panic attack. It takes exposure therapy and a lot of it to re-write the brain in such a way that the panic attacks lose their strength and go into remission. Therapy can help to lessen the amount of exposure therapy it takes. But IMO most people dont get therapy and do exposure therapy, they just retreat and avoid until they become so miserable that they push their self to go outside. Then it takes even longer becuase when they eventually do go back to normal life, they dont modify their thoughts appropriately so they have to just keep doing it until they get lucky enough to have a long period where they are relatively unstressed and their body can re-adjust to not living in fear.

@needhelp - 9 months without relief is how panic attacks and chronic DP/DR works. people can have chronic dp/dr for years on end, some people have it for a decade. and the blurry vision isn't a persistent sign of dp/dr, it's only temporary manifestation of the dp/dr. however the Dp/dr is persistent although may go un-noticed for large portions of the day as long as you are relatively unstressed. under stress symptoms manifest more. brain fog is also a symptom of dp/dr, and a lot of visual issues are also associated with dp/dr.


@sickguy "My life since LTC is totally meaningless, and I just try to survive another day. " that is text book depression though man. And while you might still be able to laugh, it doesnt mean you aren't dealing with chronic depression. It may be low grade and not very noticable, but its highly likely you are dealing with depression. Chronic depression can persist for years, so just because its longer than you've ever experienced before doesn't mean its not depression. Try filling out a depression questionaire and see what it says, most likely will say you have depression.

@obease ballerina - you just stated the difference between acute and chronic anxiety, so I dont think you do understand anxiety. Acute anxiety goes away when the source of the anxiety goes away. Chronic anxiety persists because its based on a series of experiences, thoughts, and behaviors. Its a big tangled knot that needs to be un-done in order to go away. And without help from a behavioral therapist, and probably a psychiatrist, the odds of it going away without massive effort is very low. Also because its behavioral and thought based, it wont go away with time, it will go away when the thoughts and behaviors that support it are eliminated.


also @need help - you are constantly worried that what you have is a unique form of LTC and that you won't recover. I know that becuase you are always asking if people have the symptoms that you have, then trying to seek assurance that they got better. That is anxious behavior, so even if you don't feel it as acute anxiety, there is still some anxiety there.

@ finally. I've recovered 100% and I'm with mikypanza on the "its a traumatic experience that causes long term anxiety and depression". That's a variation of what I've been saying for so long and in this post too. The panic attacks is usually the traumatic experience which triggers the brain fog, dissociation, dp/dr, head pressure, and a lot of other symptoms. Head pressure and other physical symptoms can also be a sign of chronic anxiety or chronic depression.

What helped me to recover was thought modification techniques and exposure therapy. I didn't have a therapist at the time but I've went to therapy for a total of about 5 years over the past 10, usually once every month or every 2 months. Plus I studied psychology in college as a minor so I know a lot about psychology which helped me to deal with the negative thought loops and patterns of the LTC.

eating healthy, exercise, supplements, etc. a lot of that stuff helped maintain overall health, but I don't think it helped me with the LTC. it only gave me a small boost because I was not doing them before. When I did all those things for months on end it didn't end the LTC. When I started to practice exposure therapy combined with thought modification techniques, my symptoms diminished over about 1 to 2 months, with a dramatic reduction within a week or two and taking another month or so before the other symptoms faded.

and yes, maybe I have a few bad behaviors that are still stuck because I practiced excessive worry for almost a year. I think thats natural and not LTC. If you do anything for a year or longer, its not going to just go away immediately, it will take time to develop a new way of being and that new way of being only sticks with diligence and practice. One example of the "bad behavior" is health anxiety, sometimes when I get a physical symptom I still have the tendency to obsess over it and research ways to alleviate it. I've always had health anxiety though, its a feature of my general anxiety, and what I did during the LTC ( and still do now) is to just note it and accept it. I just go "yep, that an anxious thought", and if its a persistent symptom (like a swollen tonsil I've had for a month) then I'll go do the doctor. If the doctor says "Idk, should go away within a month or two" then I just wait and trust the doctor. I don't go home and go "what a dumb doctor, its obviously cancer, mayoclinic says its possible cancer!" and stew in a muck of anxiety.

Also another thing is that the brain fog may not be a symptom of the LTC. it might be caused by something else entirely. I gained like 30lb during the LTC because I became fearful of a lot of the things that used to keep me active. I also began to stress eat as a form of anti-depressant. which i used to smoke weed but when I quit that I started to stress eat. With that 30 lb of weight I went from overweight to barely obease (30.1 BMI, 30 is obease). I'm pretty sure the lingering brain fog that I have is because of the extra weight, not only does the extra weight cause brain fog but I'm pretty sure I also developed sleep apnea. I may have had minor sleep apnea before but with the extra weight I think it got bad. I have all the symptoms of sleep apnea and multiple close family members have it. I'm on a diet now and will be getting a sleep study (and hopefully a CPAP machine to help me sleep). I should have some results in a few months to report back but I'm confident that the poor quality of sleep is wrecking my brain.

also anxiety causes people to get lower quality of sleep and wake during the night. Pretty much every night I wake up 2-3 times. Maybe one night a month I won't wake up during the night. So the anxiety wrecked my sleep, and probably contributed to brain fog. also the weight contributed to brain fog. and the weight contributed to sleep apnea which contributed to brain fog (and is probably the main source of it). also I stopped doing a lot of the things that kept me active, which contributed to anxiety, depression, and also lowered my sleep quality.

and thats just one side of things. I don't eat 100% well so there is probably a little bit of brain fog there. I may have developed a new food allergy (I'm thinking a small allergy to dairy based on my experiments) which is also probably contributing to brain fog. Also I haven't had a regular routine or regular social activity, which is contributing to brain fog.

another thing is the last 5-6 months I've been playing a lot of video games, indulging in caffine (since it stopped giving me anxiety I love it once again) (also probably have such a strong urge for it because it boosts mood and also helps combat the morning fatigue I probably get from sleep apnea), and chewing tobacco. Also I've been fapping like crazy to de-stress. All of those things contribute to brain fog. I've also been sitting on my ass wayyy too much. I probably sit for 13 out of the 16 hours I'm awake, and that contributes to brain fog! almost everything I'm doing contributes to brain fog. so I don't obsess or worry about the brain fog becuase I like the other things I do. Eventually maybe I'll get tired of it and do everything in my power to eliminate it, but for now I just do a handful of things and accept it as a consequence of the bad health habits that I indulge in.

so yeah, there are like 150x things that are contributing to brain fog. I'm not even worried about the brain fog TBH. It's so common that probably most of society has some form of brain fog. Most people don't care or don't notice it though.

If I do everything right and I still have brain fog, I wouldn't even worry in that case. If nothing can be done about it, then I'll just have to accept that it's part of my life and live with it.


@ one last thing. SSRI is first line of medication. A lot of people dont respond well to it. In that case a doctor usually prescribes a second line of medication. And if that doesnt work, a third line of medication. For my personal chemistry what works is a tetracycle antidepressant (mirtazipine), which is a third line of medication so it took me 4-5 tries before I finally found it.

mirtazipine also works on the adrnealine parts of the brain, so it helps me with my anxiety too. And since it seems logical that the LTC affects the adrenaline parts of the brain (adrenaline, cortisol, etc. all fuel anxiety in the brain), a medication that works on those parts should help the anxiety features of the LTC.

also I've heard busparione would probably help a lot of people. its a short term antidepressant and anti anxiety that works on mostly the norepinephrine parts of the brain and leaves the serotonin areas unaffected. it also has almost zero side effects and is pretty much the safest antidepressant out there. IMO a lot of people with LTC would like it, if for no other reason just because its so safe. but also maybe because it doesnt interfere with serotonin parts of the brain which many LTC sufferrs are worried is damaged in some way so they probably dont want a medication that interacts with those parts.

what works for you may also be a second or third line of medication, and doctors typically dont prescribe those right away. However if you don't go in and don't start the process of finding which medication your body responds to, you will never know.

also I haven't been on the antidepressant yet. it worked for me 2 years before the LTC. I'm going back next month to get it prescribed again (yayy, finally got medical insurance again). As with the brain fog and sleep apnea, I'll report back if it boosts my mood and quality of life like it did years ago.
 
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Pretty sure those 7yr monkey brain studies were the same that Lionheart was talking about in regards to many of the monkeys becoming very ill or dying during the experiments.

What you guys need to remember in most of those studies they use 20mg/kg every two hours, 4 doses in total. To give perspective, for a human that would be the same as injecting yourself with 1.4g four times in a span of 8 hours! 5.6g would likely kill most of us I?d think.

With that said, some studies have found even with this dosage a healing in the damage done. Most researchers agree that 10mg/kg or below doses once or twice is not neurotoxic. With human dosages in the 1.5mg/kg range, it?s hard to extrapolate anything from the animal neurotoxicity research other than its relatively safe at human dosages.

The only studies I?d maybe give weight are human studies on a wide population but even then most MDMA users are polydrug users. The little research out there that tried to control for polydrug use found no issues, even memory related, compared to the control group.


While many of you don?t want to believe anxiety is involved it is definitely at least a major component to this issue. The last few posts reflect that, allowing what you read to stir so much anxiety is a bad sign. I?ve been there in other ways, having regrets, and beyond those regrets there?s nothing you can do but keep on keeping on.

-GC
 
Appreciate both your words and maybe there is some underlying anexity - I am going to try therapy as you suggest, although it’s expensive. Is CBT the best route? Also - g_chem, the night this all went down I was drunk and on a little bit of Ritalin (5mg that morning) and I tooo .15 of tested stuff. So I guess I’m in the poly group :(
 
Thanks for all your replies guys, most of them have been very helpful and reassuring. I saw a mental health professional today who has recommended my first course of action be to stop using the Internet for a while, especially forums. So I'll be checking out.

Again, thanks. Over the last 11 years I haven't dealt with my anxiety well, but I have had many periods of happiness. I am now ready to break the cycle.

Peace.
 
i believe the studies showed neuron death - which is permanent damage. In monkey models even after 7 years the there was still damage. And yes it was a high dose, but also people on this forum took high doses and mixed with other drugs.
Horse shit, what dosage did they give the poor monkeys? 1g every hour for 10 hours? Don't think any of us would sitting here without any seratonin, and i can guarantee that you suffer both of depression and anxiety.
This is mental for 90%, not physical.
Have you even tried to work on your depression and anxiety? As i would not sit here and share my experiences if i new it would not work, i did cured my "LTC" after stupid high doses of both MDMA and coke the same time?
Go to a doctor and seek help if you not in to psychadelics and dont try to read about monkeys and other stupid shit to get your state worse. Get the meds, change the food, exercise and im sure you recover, yes even you.
 
Thanks for all your replies guys, most of them have been very helpful and reassuring. I saw a mental health professional today who has recommended my first course of action be to stop using the Internet for a while, especially forums. So I'll be checking out.

Again, thanks. Over the last 11 years I haven't dealt with my anxiety well, but I have had many periods of happiness. I am now ready to break the cycle.

Peace.
With that mindset im sure you will have a fast recovery. Best of luck mate // MikyPanza
 
Horse shit, what dosage did they give the poor monkeys? 1g every hour for 10 hours? Don't think any of us would sitting here without any seratonin, and i can guarantee that you suffer both of depression and anxiety.
This is mental for 90%, not physical.
Have you even tried to work on your depression and anxiety? As i would not sit here and share my experiences if i new it would not work, i did cured my "LTC" after stupid high doses of both MDMA and coke the same time?
Go to a doctor and seek help if you not in to psychadelics and dont try to read about monkeys and other stupid shit to get your state worse. Get the meds, change the food, exercise and im sure you recover, yes even you.

Appreciate your encouraging words. I eat like a saint, workout everyday, and I have a great job. My life is good and I’m not depressed or anexious. I’m sad that I can’t enjoy being outside like I used to, but I forget about Ltc for most of the day - I’m really reminded when I step outside and the world feels like a bubble. And I’m not taking more drugs to get me out of a situation that drugs caused. Have you heard of something called HPPD (go check out that forum) there are tons of people on there with long lasting visual impairment from drugs. I’m guessing you think their visual snow, star bursts, and other shit is also all anexity and depression? I’m going to stay natural for as long as I can and see if I can beta this organically. Btw - there is a whole forum of people who take SSRIs and get horrible long lasting side effects. I’m glad you cured yourself though - I hope to be like you one day.
 
I think HPPD is a great example of how anxiety can heighten or worsen symptoms. Many people have HPPD, myself included.. Mine is so bad I have a hard time driving at night now trying to see through the blurry visual snow, slight tracers, and other visual artifacts.

Some people who have bad anxiety, if they were to live with these symptoms, would likely begin to freak out over potential damage, other corresponding unknown issues, etc. To me... It?s visual snow. Yes it sucks, but the benefits I obtain from the use of the drugs that give it far outweigh these few negatives.

I?ve had brief moments, not surprisingly after I began reading this thread more in depth, where I felt anxiety begin to majorly exacerbate these symptoms as I dwell on them further. Thing is for over a decade it wasn?t an issue, but once I begin reading about all you with these symptoms similar to HPPD it gets my mind thinking bad thoughts too.

What I?m trying to get at, is there are likely others out there that deal with the same shit but instead of dwelling on it and thinking you?ve done permanent (that?s the word messing with you all) damage. I have visual snow, I have and had eye floaters long before any drugs, I live a very happy normal life.

Next look at how many other drugs can induce the same symptoms/condition, and anxiety becomes an even stronger bet. I do believe MDMA does it more than others, but plenty of folks have LTC from drugs that are known to be safe and non-neurotoxic.

Finally, please separate this whole mind vs body mindset you all have. They are one in the same, our thought processes affect us physically and alter brain chemistry long term. If your anxious for long enough, your brain will adjust accordingly and maybe not in the best of ways.

-GC
 
The ones with visual snow, is it noticeable only when it's low light? If yes, then I've asked a friend if he sees tiny little dots everywhere at the night and he said yes, was hard to realize it, but once seen cannot be unseen. lol
 
I think HPPD is a great example of how anxiety can heighten or worsen symptoms. Many people have HPPD, myself included.. Mine is so bad I have a hard time driving at night now trying to see through the blurry visual snow, slight tracers, and other visual artifacts.

Some people who have bad anxiety, if they were to live with these symptoms, would likely begin to freak out over potential damage, other corresponding unknown issues, etc. To me... It?s visual snow. Yes it sucks, but the benefits I obtain from the use of the drugs that give it far outweigh these few negatives.

I?ve had brief moments, not surprisingly after I began reading this thread more in depth, where I felt anxiety begin to majorly exacerbate these symptoms as I dwell on them further. Thing is for over a decade it wasn?t an issue, but once I begin reading about all you with these symptoms similar to HPPD it gets my mind thinking bad thoughts too.

What I?m trying to get at, is there are likely others out there that deal with the same shit but instead of dwelling on it and thinking you?ve done permanent (that?s the word messing with you all) damage. I have visual snow, I have and had eye floaters long before any drugs, I live a very happy normal life.

Next look at how many other drugs can induce the same symptoms/condition, and anxiety becomes an even stronger bet. I do believe MDMA does it more than others, but plenty of folks have LTC from drugs that are known to be safe and non-neurotoxic.

Finally, please separate this whole mind vs body mindset you all have. They are one in the same, our thought processes affect us physically and alter brain chemistry long term. If your anxious for long enough, your brain will adjust accordingly and maybe not in the best of ways.

-GC

and my point is that it’s not ALL anexity. Clearly something is messed up in your visual cortex if you’re seeing visual snow and halos and star bursts. I’m glad getting high is worth it for you. But this proves my point that it’s not all a function of anexity. And yes other things besides mdma cause brain damage and those drugs that are “non toxic” that also cause VS are probably not as safe as you think. I totally agree Managment of anexity is hugely important. You’d have to be an idiot to think otherwise; however, it’s not the root cause of all problems, just like it’s not the root cause of your HPPD.
 
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