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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 4)

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For people that have had major setbacks, is there hope in coming back from them? I hate complaining so much on here. But I feel like I've made myself permanently worse with the caffeine and now the 5htp.
 
I would recommend the Lions Mane Mushroom supplement to help you feel more.. Cognitively able.. it helps with short term memory i think as well.
Also would recommend GABA. 1000mg before bed maybe 500mg to start the day or possibly 1250mg before bed.

Would not reccomend 5-HTP to just anyone. I have BPD but it give me TERRIBLE mania where i couldnt sleep and i was just well.. Fucked.

lol
 
fnono33 said:
For people that have had major setbacks, is there hope in coming back from them? I hate complaining so much on here. But I feel like I've made myself permanently worse with the caffeine and now the 5htp.
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I've had panic attacks set of by dabs of coke, an ibuprofen(200 mg). I tried 50mg of 5htp, I didn't have full blown panic, but I was definitely a bit more on edge.

Having said all of that, I had a difficult therapy session yesterday and I feel a lot more on edge today. I just think my mind is a nervous wreck and I haven't taken anything.

Pretty bloody fed up if I'm honest. My psychiatrist has suggested I go back on the Sertraline, which I've been on in the past. Starting at 25mg. Shit scared of taking it, but I can't live my life like it is at the moment. Existence is not life!
 
mf140 said:
I've had panic attacks set of by dabs of coke, an ibuprofen(200 mg). I tried 50mg of 5htp, I didn't have full blown panic, but I was definitely a bit more on edge.

Having said all of that, I had a difficult therapy session yesterday and I feel a lot more on edge today. I just think my mind is a nervous wreck and I haven't taken anything.

Pretty bloody fed up if I'm honest. My psychiatrist has suggested I go back on the Sertraline, which I've been on in the past. Starting at 25mg. Shit scared of taking it, but I can't live my life like it is at the moment. Existence is not life!
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I'm on Sertraline 25mg/day for about 1 month now and I feel much better. Even tried it in the past, but it only made my symptoms worse. Now it's a different situation. I still don't feel like 100% recovered but much better. I can talk normally again, enjoy listening to music, playing music, going outside, and even my memory is fine now. But I'm still scared of the SSRI-Withdrawal, even if I'm on the lowest dose now. Because when I forget taking my pill in the morning, I slowly recognize that I begin to talk more quiet, can't say a normal sentence, my body feels stiff and I have severe motoric problems.
Anyone maybe had similar experiences? Is 1 month too short to see long term improvement from SSRI's?
 
Amml said:
I'm on Sertraline 25mg/day for about 1 month now and I feel much better. Even tried it in the past, but it only made my symptoms worse. Now it's a different situation. I still don't feel like 100% recovered but much better. I can talk normally again, enjoy listening to music, playing music, going outside, and even my memory is fine now. But I'm still scared of the SSRI-Withdrawal, even if I'm on the lowest dose now. Because when I forget taking my pill in the morning, I slowly recognize that I begin to talk more quiet, can't say a normal sentence, my body feels stiff and I have severe motoric problems.
Anyone maybe had similar experiences? Is 1 month too short to see long term improvement from SSRI's?
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That's great! Glad you're feeling better! How's your sleep? Back to normal?

Stick at it dude, I did what you did last year after a previous MDMA induced stress reaction. Felt better after a month, ignored my doctors, threw my tablets in the bin. I fell straight back into old habits. Was back on the mandy, going out, dating, doing everything. With the exception of getting pneumonia, I felt brilliant...6 months later, almost identical symptoms. Except this time I've tried to push through it without meds. Going back on them next week. Stick with it for a minimum of 3 months then TAPER off. Follow your doctors advice!
 
mf140 said:
That's great! Glad you're feeling better! How's your sleep? Back to normal?

Stick at it dude, I did what you did last year after a previous MDMA induced stress reaction. Felt better after a month, ignored my doctors, threw my tablets in the bin. I fell straight back into old habits. Was back on the mandy, going out, dating, doing everything. With the exception of getting pneumonia, I felt brilliant...6 months later, almost identical symptoms. Except this time I've tried to push through it without meds. Going back on them next week. Stick with it for a minimum of 3 months then TAPER off. Follow your doctors advice!
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My sleep was reasonably normal even without medication, but on the psychological side I was totally fucked. Absolute no emotions, deep depression, and so on. This changed only after 3 days on medication. I will try to stay on Sertraline for about 6 months and then slowly set it off. Hope I will feel better then.
But even if I feel bad, I'll never touch MDMA again, it just scared me so hard that one wrong night could completely destroy you and I don't want to make it worse, even if I know now that there are ways to prevent neurological damage when using MDMA.

Today I found a paper that claimed that MDMA induced damage needs about 1 year to recover completely in rats, so it's probably much more in humans, but still not impossible. Yay, gives me hope
And luckily we know ways to speed up brain recovery
 
FNono....clear your inbox I wanna PM you.

Anyone have any news on Truly Blessed?

How are you holding up Nambo?
 
Amml said:
I'm on Sertraline 25mg/day for about 1 month now and I feel much better. Even tried it in the past, but it only made my symptoms worse. Now it's a different situation. I still don't feel like 100% recovered but much better. I can talk normally again, enjoy listening to music, playing music, going outside, and even my memory is fine now. But I'm still scared of the SSRI-Withdrawal, even if I'm on the lowest dose now. Because when I forget taking my pill in the morning, I slowly recognize that I begin to talk more quiet, can't say a normal sentence, my body feels stiff and I have severe motoric problems.
Anyone maybe had similar experiences? Is 1 month too short to see long term improvement from SSRI's?
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One month is usually the time when SSRIs start to kick in, yet the thing is that you are on 25mg of Sertraline which is below therapeutic dose of 50 mg. Maybe there is a point in increasing your dose?

Concerning withdrawals from SSRIs they become somewhat harsh after being on the meds for more than a year. I personally experienced only minor withdrawals after quiting my four month usage of 100mg of Sertraline.
 
I have pretty bad fatigue. Like I'll get out of breath pretty easily. So exercising is very hard. Does anyone else experience this? Or had it go back to normal?
 
From the last 30 days, I had a relapse from insomnia and the myoclonus, both awake and when going to sleep. It was very annoying, because I had been over 8 months without ANY issues. It was like going back :(
I had to go back the Clonazepan (2 drops to go to sleep).

After 3 weeks without improvements, I went and tried 5hpt (100mg) + EGCG prior to go to sleep. Took it for 2 days, and myoclonus went away. I've been able to sleep just fine for the last 6 days. I will do a full week, and take it away. Keep it in mind if you suffer from them

From Wikipedia: "These myoclonic twitches, jerks, or seizures are usually caused by sudden muscle contractions (positive myoclonus) or brief lapses of contraction (negative myoclonus). The most common circumstance under which they occur is while falling asleep (hypnic jerk)."
 
fnono33 said:
I have pretty bad fatigue. Like I'll get out of breath pretty easily. So exercising is very hard. Does anyone else experience this? Or had it go back to normal?
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I personally think that this is most likely deconditioning, between the lack of anabolic effects of insomnia, and catabolic effects of stress, it would be good to build yourself up with anabolic exercise and diet. I'm positive that you can overcome any catabolism of stress and insomnia with cardio and a good diet.

But the acute metabolic effects of insomnia can play a huge role as well, that is to say sleep is important for cellular energy and you could find yourself much less fatigued if you got good sleep. But it would probably be your best bet to try to overcome that issue with exercise and diet as well, assuming you're doing all you can with mindfulness for sleep.
 
Ok, I'm going to try anabolic exercise. Sleep has improved a bit but maybe because of the overall fatigue getting more severe. My concern is that I only get an couple hours at a time, at most.
 
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That's a great can do attitude, and it will be your salvation. Cardio will be very important compared to weight lifting but squats are great.

The weird thing about the anabolic effects of sleep is that they tend to occur during slow wave sleep, which is to say non-dream sleep, although dream sleep certainly helps with cellular energy. But we can be sort of in slow wave sleep and still be somewhat conscious.

This gets back to the whole "laying mindfully in bed with a relaxed body is much better than being full-on awake" thing. Just because we're not passed out unconscious doesn't mean we're not getting at least *some* of the restorative effects of sleep, even if we don't realize it at the time.
 
My sleep had improved the last couple weeks. About 5 or 6 hours a night....but it started going down hill last night and tonight it's 4 AM and I haven't slept a wink. So disheartening. During this time my tinnitus or hyperacusis or floaters didn't wane at all. I'm really really getting sick of this shit. I've definitely unlocked some underlying sleep disorder and also probably have permanent mild HPPD. The tinnitus is the worst part, and the ridiculous CEVs.

The issue is I can't recognize my routine on what helps me sleep or what doesn't...I go into every night not knowing if I'll sleep or not.
 
Mikek11 said:
One month is usually the time when SSRIs start to kick in, yet the thing is that you are on 25mg of Sertraline which is below therapeutic dose of 50 mg. Maybe there is a point in increasing your dose?

Concerning withdrawals from SSRIs they become somewhat harsh after being on the meds for more than a year. I personally experienced only minor withdrawals after quiting my four month usage of 100mg of Sertraline.
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I want to stay at the lowest possible dose, and 25mg still work fine for me and the side effects are nearly none existent, not even the classical SSRI sexual dysfunctions. Do you think that there is no positive long term effect at this low dose?
 
ADubbs said:
The issue is I can't recognize my routine on what helps me sleep or what doesn't...I go into every night not knowing if I'll sleep or not.
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I've personally found my ability to sleep soundly is very dependent on my effort to stay mindful and quiet my thoughts. Focusing on a guided mindfulness audio can make all the difference for me in terms of starting off the night on the generally right foot.
 
Guys I need some support... I made a thread in regards of this, would appreciate it if some of you could help me out coop me with my issue...
 
Hey I'm not sure I follow your story completely but after dealing with this for 5 months, I would advise not putting any more drugs or caffeine or alcohol in your body. Melatonin and vitamins are probably ok but no 5 htp or anything else involving seratonin. People have taken benzos with some success but they give me panic. Exercise, sleep and nutrition seem to work best for people. This is my opinion and people might tell you differently. But I think you hurt your brain and you need to leave it alone for it to heal. Also, people seem to have luck with SSRI's. I'm not going to try them for a while until my condition stabilizes.
 
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Probiotics together with healthy food containing a lot of vegetables and healthy fats helps a lot!
 
Hello guys,

I'm now (4 months after bad-bad-bad kind of OD of mdma on a festival) pretty sure I have hppd. It must be the explanation to my weird fucked up vison. I have a hard time reading white text on a black backgound for example, cus it's like shimmering from the text, like halos around the edges/ seeing "double". And some visual trails after bright lights or so. Also walking and looking at the ground is very hard becuase it's like stuttering, "not smooth". Everything is fucked up, there is also some kind of static noise always present in my vision.

I have not seen any improvements during the lasst 3 months and I still cant work, just staying home without a life right now. What can I do? I do try to keep my chin up and not focusing on the problems, though i'ts extremely hard when the problems are so prominent. I cant really watch a movie with subtitles cus the subtitles ruins everything with the visuals.

I mean what is the best thing to do really? I'm so lost. Should I continue pushing and trying to get out and continue a regular life when it's so extremly tough. Should I wait more? Should I meditate more? Should I NEVER focus on the visuals, like really trying to ignore them and dont think about them as much as I can? Should I seek more help (which is kinda hopeless when the doctors dont know anything about this).

I cant ignore the visuals no matter how hard I try, and I feel that I'm becoming more depressed each month without any improvement. Right now, this is not a life I can live, theese visuals problems really are 2 much 2 handle...

Any advice would mean the world to me, check out my started thread for more information regarding my case
 
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