Around 5 and half months in to my recovery now and not much seems to be happening in terms of getting better in spite of working hard at it which sucks.
Things have improved somewhat since months 1+2 but nothing much has seemed to happen since then. Depression isn't constant anymore which is nice and the almost daily crying spells have stopped too. Also my sex drive has come back, thank god. My cognitive abilities also seem to be intact which is nice, I mean I'm a little slower and anxiety can get in the way in certain situations, but I've managed to finish my 2nd year with a really good grade, which is something to be happy about as I considered dropping out numerous times in the early stages of this.
Still currently dealing with;
Moderate DP/DR - Just feel generally disconnected from everything still, not as bad and scary as it was at first but I think I've just learnt how to live with it for the most part
Moderate to Major Anxiety
Vision problems - Floaters, Mild visual snow, Mild afterimages, sensitive to bright lights, slight starbusting on bright lights
Occasional depression - Comes and goes, I'd say its more anhedonia at this point, just a constant lack of interest in anything
Fatigue - This has appeared slowly over the last two months, was finding it hard to relax and didnt really feel like I could nap, now all I want to do is sleep most of the time and even 8 hours sleep doesnt seem to refresh me. Having a lot of vivid dreams
Muscle twitches - This comes and goes randomly. might not experience it for weeks on end then happens days in a row. weird. Mostly happens in my left thigh.
Headaches - More of a headpressure that isnt constant but does come and go at certain times and gets worse after exercise if already present.
Dizziness - Again, not a constant thing but is annoying none the less. Just generally feel off balance at times.
Current methods for recovery;
- No drug use whatsoever. Although I've been having a few cups of green tea again for the past couple of days, so a small amount of caffeine. Hard to say what effect its having so far. Been considering having a few drinks next weekend and getting a little drunk, haven't been since this started but apprehensive to do so incase it sets me back/makes me worse. Any advice on this?
- Exercise. Weight training around 4-5 times a week for around 45 minutes and cardio 1 or 2 times a week. Was doing more cardio but don't seem to have the energy or drive for it anymore
- CBT. Just started this so not cant say much about this too much but will report back
- Diet. Just eating well in general. Was completely plant based for almost 2 months but it seemed to be effecting my IBS-like symptoms. Possible allergy to soy so changed it up for chicken for the meanwhile. Still eating lots of plant based foods.
Starting to get a little frustrated now. Expected to see some more results at nearly the 6 month mark so im a little bit tired to say the least. Especially since I've worked so hard and cut everything out. Started considering some form of medication but im a little scared of anything making my DP/DR worse and also because I may have some mild HPPD im worried that it could make that worse too. Read to many reports of things like SSRIs making things worse so it puts me off. Anyone tried tianeptine? Read some good things about that. Just at a cross roads here and dont know where to go.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Things have improved somewhat since months 1+2 but nothing much has seemed to happen since then. Depression isn't constant anymore which is nice and the almost daily crying spells have stopped too. Also my sex drive has come back, thank god. My cognitive abilities also seem to be intact which is nice, I mean I'm a little slower and anxiety can get in the way in certain situations, but I've managed to finish my 2nd year with a really good grade, which is something to be happy about as I considered dropping out numerous times in the early stages of this.
Still currently dealing with;
Moderate DP/DR - Just feel generally disconnected from everything still, not as bad and scary as it was at first but I think I've just learnt how to live with it for the most part
Moderate to Major Anxiety
Vision problems - Floaters, Mild visual snow, Mild afterimages, sensitive to bright lights, slight starbusting on bright lights
Occasional depression - Comes and goes, I'd say its more anhedonia at this point, just a constant lack of interest in anything
Fatigue - This has appeared slowly over the last two months, was finding it hard to relax and didnt really feel like I could nap, now all I want to do is sleep most of the time and even 8 hours sleep doesnt seem to refresh me. Having a lot of vivid dreams
Muscle twitches - This comes and goes randomly. might not experience it for weeks on end then happens days in a row. weird. Mostly happens in my left thigh.
Headaches - More of a headpressure that isnt constant but does come and go at certain times and gets worse after exercise if already present.
Dizziness - Again, not a constant thing but is annoying none the less. Just generally feel off balance at times.
Current methods for recovery;
- No drug use whatsoever. Although I've been having a few cups of green tea again for the past couple of days, so a small amount of caffeine. Hard to say what effect its having so far. Been considering having a few drinks next weekend and getting a little drunk, haven't been since this started but apprehensive to do so incase it sets me back/makes me worse. Any advice on this?
- Exercise. Weight training around 4-5 times a week for around 45 minutes and cardio 1 or 2 times a week. Was doing more cardio but don't seem to have the energy or drive for it anymore
- CBT. Just started this so not cant say much about this too much but will report back
- Diet. Just eating well in general. Was completely plant based for almost 2 months but it seemed to be effecting my IBS-like symptoms. Possible allergy to soy so changed it up for chicken for the meanwhile. Still eating lots of plant based foods.
Starting to get a little frustrated now. Expected to see some more results at nearly the 6 month mark so im a little bit tired to say the least. Especially since I've worked so hard and cut everything out. Started considering some form of medication but im a little scared of anything making my DP/DR worse and also because I may have some mild HPPD im worried that it could make that worse too. Read to many reports of things like SSRIs making things worse so it puts me off. Anyone tried tianeptine? Read some good things about that. Just at a cross roads here and dont know where to go.
Any advice would be appreciated.
but on a good note you are definitely going to recover so don't worry yourself thinking you won't at times because trust me I know the feeling.