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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 4)

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Muldentier said:
has any of you have recovered the cognitive deficits ??
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Muldentier said:
I have very little genomm and speed, I have previously consumed 1.5 years to me it was always good, I had the normal depression. I felt so stupid then and no longer like myself feel, I'm slow and stupid. Yes I smoke 25 cigarettes a day. I know I have to smoke less. I tried alcohol but it has not done anything. I have no fear, I really feel like somedude :(
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Muldentier said:
I sibility with mindfulness tried, I can not concentrate on my thoughts wander from equal. I do not know what to do yet, it's getting worse and I can really idetifizieren with somedud, I have not found anyone else to it so badly off as me and him. I do not think that even what is better, 5 months and it's getting worse, not better, I do not know what to do, my brain is completely broken
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. Muld, trust me when I say I was in the same place that you are now and it does get better. I'm not one to try and rate my LTC to others as they are very personal and quite horrific but I think mine was one of the worst. I put it in the category of Somedud, BBen, FBC and now it would appear you. In addition to the plethora of symptoms we all have the persistent blurred vision which in my opinion reflects a level of damage. (And no I don't have anxiety). Over the last 3 years I have literally tried everything. The truth is that there is no magic pill or a quick fix. Time (and lots of it is the only cure). Sleep, healthy living and exercise to accompany it. I also realise that at this stage of your 'recovery' you can't sleep or exercise but this will improve with time. I was basically a non functioning zombie for a very long time. The one thing which I find has helped me is taking Ashwagandha and black seed oil morning and evening. You brain may well be a little 'broken' but it DOES get better. I promise.
 
Muldentier said:
has any of you have recovered the cognitive deficits ??
Click to expand...
Muldentier said:
I have very little genomm and speed, I have previously consumed 1.5 years to me it was always good, I had the normal depression. I felt so stupid then and no longer like myself feel, I'm slow and stupid. Yes I smoke 25 cigarettes a day. I know I have to smoke less. I tried alcohol but it has not done anything. I have no fear, I really feel like somedude :(
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Muldentier said:
I feel trapped in me and have the feeling I do not come more out there.
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I think this is called chronic depersonalization. Do you have the sensation that you are living life behind a sheet of glass. Ie you are disconnected and cut off from the world?
 
Just tried it today. Felt (words can't explain). Should I stop here? Or would you recommend few more times?
 
Brain zaps are actually a type of parasthesia (something from the peripheral/sensory nerves and not the brain) also seen with SSRI withdrawal, commonly with movement of the head.

I think the reason why LTCs take so long to recover from has to do with the learning processes of the brain. That's why it's so important to meditate, to try to reset the thought patterns and give the brain a chance to weaken some of the connections that are too strong. Sleep will also help in this regard but when you have an LTC and can't sleep it can worsen things because that's more time spent awake engraving the thought patterns.
 
Nambo said:
. Muld, trust me when I say I was in the same place that you are now and it does get better. I'm not one to try and rate my LTC to others as they are very personal and quite horrific but I think mine was one of the worst. I put it in the category of Somedud, BBen, FBC and now it would appear you. In addition to the plethora of symptoms we all have the persistent blurred vision which in my opinion reflects a level of damage. (And no I don't have anxiety). Over the last 3 years I have literally tried everything. The truth is that there is no magic pill or a quick fix. Time (and lots of it is the only cure). Sleep, healthy living and exercise to accompany it. I also realise that at this stage of your 'recovery' you can't sleep or exercise but this will improve with time. I was basically a non functioning zombie for a very long time. The one thing which I find has helped me is taking Ashwagandha and black seed oil morning and evening. You brain may well be a little 'broken' but it DOES get better. I promise.
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I am not sure blurred vision ever goes away. I wouldn't say I have blurred vision but I do have like visual snow...over sensitive to light (after images) things seem slightly skewed....staticky vision on solid colored objects....occasional halos around objects....mine hasn't gotten better when other symptoms have greatly....so I feel like this one could be a permanent symptom....who knows haha
 
I think a lot of those visual symptoms could be lumped in with HPPD which is much more persistent, but at least HPPD is more benign and is mainly a visual thing.
 
Nambo said:
. Muld, trust me when I say I was in the same place that you are now and it does get better. I'm not one to try and rate my LTC to others as they are very personal and quite horrific but I think mine was one of the worst. I put it in the category of Somedud, BBen, FBC and now it would appear you. In addition to the plethora of symptoms we all have the persistent blurred vision which in my opinion reflects a level of damage. (And no I don't have anxiety). Over the last 3 years I have literally tried everything. The truth is that there is no magic pill or a quick fix. Time (and lots of it is the only cure). Sleep, healthy living and exercise to accompany it. I also realise that at this stage of your 'recovery' you can't sleep or exercise but this will improve with time. I was basically a non functioning zombie for a very long time. The one thing which I find has helped me is taking Ashwagandha and black seed oil morning and evening. You brain may well be a little 'broken' but it DOES get better. I promise.
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When they realized the first improvement, her life is again worth living, you've written that you're better, I also believe that my dopamine receptor are damaged, I've also kosumiert much amphetamine. if I were a little damaged, that would be ok, do not bother me with my memory so much, but the turmoil in thought and I can not sleep, it is almost unbearable, I would like to ask a little life back. I'm losing all my friends and family and do not continue. @ Nambo: have tried the drug also. Thank me tried to help her and the blurred vision is not bad for me. I want to take thought only clarify again.
 
I must even force them to take a shower I can not even watch a movie in peace, because I am present again, I do not know how long I can stand still. It's so exhausting:(
 
Muldentier said:
I must even force them to take a shower I can not even watch a movie in peace, because I am present again, I do not know how long I can stand still. It's so exhausting:(
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Can you please stop spamming this thread. My helpful post which i posted 2 weeks ago is on page 4.. Calm down or go visit a psychologist...
 
Repost
Brahhhh said:
Hi guys.

I haven't posted here for a long time because I have closed the chapter for myself. My LTC started in 08-2014 (while my abuse was in 2012, (I took probably 20x XTC in 1 year). Anyway, at the moment I'm almost 2 year in and I can say I have recovered for 90%. No more doom thoughts, no more depression, no more random anxiety. I do have some social anxiety still, but I have this from my youth aswell. No brain fog, etc etc. I can even smoke weed now without getting super anxious. Now I just feel relaxed again like before my LTC. The moment you realise that nothing really has changed (the world outside), but only your perception, you will start to recover. Just give it alot of time, and DO NOT use (hard)drugs anymore until your fully recovered.. I will let you guys know when I feel 100% recovered. :) Any questions are also welcome.
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Brahhhh said:
Hey sorry to hear you have to deal with these symptoms.

- I did have alot of DP/DR in the first 6-12 months, after that it became less and less. Now I have it never anymore (after almost 2years).
- At my worst stage, which was pretty much the first 3 months, I felt constantly very depressed and anxious. Even thought about suicide a few times, (I could still relate that I shouldn't do it, but it did pop up sometimes). After those 3 months it started to get better very slowly. Also sometimes i felt pretty good and then sometimes really shit again.
- Yes, I do have visual problems, they have never gone away. But it doesn't really bother me. Except when I look to a bright sky I see all this lightning points, that's the only thing that's kind of annoying.
- I felt like I was making improvements when I met a nice girl when I was 1 year into my LTC. I felt genuinely happy when we did fun stuff togethet etc. Since then it started to go upwards.

My advice to you would be, just do the regular stuff (eat well, sleep well, excersice etc), stay positive, have faith, NO drugs. It will get better, when I was 5 months in I felt like total shit still. It was constantly on my mind, now I barely even think about this LTC anymore. The balance of all those complex neurotransmitters is disturbed when a LTC starts, to bring back this balance, ull need a lot of patience and work. It can take anywhere from 6 to 24 months on average. If I hear you u might need some more time aswell, but it will get better! Good luck on your recovery!

Edit: Oh to add on I also started some medication since dec 2015. Lexapro (escitalopram), its an SSRI, I have a feeling it also gave me a little extra push to be recovered. So if u really feel lost maybe ask ur doctor for Escitalopram. It does help a little bit I think.
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Muldentier said:
has any of you have recovered the cognitive deficits ??
Click to expand...
Muldentier said:
I have very little genomm and speed, I have previously consumed 1.5 years to me it was always good, I had the normal depression. I felt so stupid then and no longer like myself feel, I'm slow and stupid. Yes I smoke 25 cigarettes a day. I know I have to smoke less. I tried alcohol but it has not done anything. I have no fear, I really feel like somedude :(
Click to expand...
Brahhhh said:
Can you please stop spamming this thread. My helpful post which i posted 2 weeks ago is on page 4.. Calm down or go visit a psychologist...
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Muld, as a short term solution a psychiatrist can help with sleep medication and anti- anxiety just to help you find a bit of peace from the constant mental churning. Thereafter you really need to push yourself to function again (taking showers, going for walk, trying mindfulness). This is a long process and you need to keep on reinforcing these positive activities. If you can also try take a break from his forum that will also probably be helpful.
 
I have no fear, so I need no medication for it, I am grateful for your help, I'll pull back, if you know something that can help me tells me about it. Thank you so much
 
Cotcha Yankinov said:
Let's try to take it easy on muld guys...
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Cotcha this is body temperature Issue and muscles soreness linkend to serotonin problem I think but idk for sure and one question why the left side of the body feels weaker then the right.anyway There's two parts where heat is Control on the body one on the neck and one where the serotonin is produced. You should do a research on this. Because everyone on here but not all is suffering from overheating including me them men I regret every single day that I ever did this awful drug.
 
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