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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 3)

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Do you find it more difficult to read. Like words are moving around and it hard to read in a line? I also have sensitivity to light and my night vision has massively deteriorated.
 
Nambo said:
Do you find it more difficult to read. Like words are moving around and it hard to read in a line? I also have sensitivity to light and my night vision has massively deteriorated.
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Yea that's exactly what I've got.. Do you know what's causing this ? Will it ever go away
 
In my case I believe I suffered a traumatic brain injury (TBI) ( in fact I know I did). Maybe with time it will improve or one just gets used to it.

My current symptoms are:

-Feeling spaced out with brain fog
-The sensation that I have lost my soul or am experiencing a living death. ( I believe this is called a depersonalisation disorder)
- no anxiety although I had extreme anxiety for the first 4 months
- the world seems changed / wrapped. I think this is called derealisation
- high pitched tone in my ears.
-vision problems described above
- lack of motivation and ability to feel enjoyment. (Before this I was a very motivated high achieving professional)
- fatigue
- very disturbed and unrefreshed sleep
- probably depression as well.
- I just feel ''changed' like a different person. Like the old me has died and I'm just a ghost occupying the same body but am an imposter / actor pretending to be the old me.
- concentration problems
- the concept of time has changed. Like it is going so slowly / just dragging. (Time used to fly by)
- libido and erection problems;


Before this ecstacy experience (overdose) (my first and only). I was a fit ambitious high achieving happy individual with no mental issues.
 
Nambo said:
In my case I believe I suffered a traumatic brain injury (TBI) ( in fact I know I did). Maybe with time it will improve or one just gets used to it.

My current symptoms are:

-Feeling spaced out with brain fog
-The sensation that I have lost my soul or am experiencing a living death. ( I believe this is called a depersonalisation disorder)
- no anxiety although I had extreme anxiety for the first 4 months
- the world seems changed / wrapped. I think this is called derealisation
- high pitched tone in my ears.
-vision problems described above
- lack of motivation and ability to feel enjoyment. (Before this I was a very motivated high achieving professional)
- fatigue
- very disturbed and unrefreshed sleep
- probably depression as well.
- I just feel ''changed' like a different person. Like the old me has died and I'm just a ghost occupying the same body but am an imposter / actor pretending to be the old me.
- concentration problems
- the concept of time has changed. Like it is going so slowly / just dragging. (Time used to fly by)
- libido and erection problems;


Before this ecstacy experience (overdose) (my first and only). I was a fit ambitious high achieving happy individual with no mental issues.
Click to expand...

That's exactly the same as me is there anything that can be done ? I can't go on like this man
 
Alaska457 said:
I just wanted to post about my MDMA story two years ago, where I ended up coming to this site looking for support. I had redosed for around an entire week and took around 1000MG of MDMA (very high quality). I was stupid, isolated from everything because of previous problems in my life, and had no idea what the hell I was doing. The mistake I made was google searching tips on rolling before I started to roll and did not search thoroughly enough. I am 100% recovered and feeling normal again. Everything goes away with time, you will look back on the situation in the future and be like "Damn, that sucked." Over time you will forget about how bad you felt when you took it and may be tempted to take it again, but trust me, don't do it. When I said I was feeling different and not like myself I was so caught up in what I thought the MDMA might have changed in me that I never really stopped to think that I had been living with myself for the past 17 years. I knew myself better than anybody and instead of just chilling out and moving on with my life and realizing the person I was, I kept freaking out about it. The best advice I can give you is to just chill out and go with it, listen to some music and chill and play video games or whatever you do for fun because you are still the same as before you took the MDMA. You have a couple choices. You can sit around like an idiot like I did and worry about all the shit that changed after you took to much MDMA, which probably made my symptoms last for a lot longer. Or you can come back to reality and realize that you are the same person as you were before you took it and that you are going to move on from this shitty situation and forget about it. Just take a moment and decide what you want to do. Everything is 100% back to normal for me. The ringing in my ears is gone, the insomnia has gone away, the increased anxiety and depression is gone, and everything else that I felt during that time. Just chill out and continue to live your life. Good luck, and I guarantee you will look back on this in the future and think that it wasn't really a big deal at all. It's been a couple years now and it isn't something I think about anymore. Kind of like one of those times you just get to drunk and you feel like shit afterwards, then you look back on it later and don't really think much of it.
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I wasn't emotionally numb before I took MDMA. I didn't have a lack of libido or no mornnig wood either. I don't find many things fun at the moment. Everything I loved before I took MDMA have no gone to shit (although this has only become a serious problem in the past month and a half or so) This is not all in my head, I'm sick and tired of hearing that shit. It's like telling someone with cancer its all in their heads. It's such a ridiculous statement.
 
Nambo said:
In my case I believe I suffered a traumatic brain injury (TBI) ( in fact I know I did). Maybe with time it will improve or one just gets used to it.

My current symptoms are:

-Feeling spaced out with brain fog
-The sensation that I have lost my soul or am experiencing a living death. ( I believe this is called a depersonalisation disorder)
- no anxiety although I had extreme anxiety for the first 4 months
- the world seems changed / wrapped. I think this is called derealisation
- high pitched tone in my ears.
-vision problems described above
- lack of motivation and ability to feel enjoyment. (Before this I was a very motivated high achieving professional)
- fatigue
- very disturbed and unrefreshed sleep
- probably depression as well.
- I just feel ''changed' like a different person. Like the old me has died and I'm just a ghost occupying the same body but am an imposter / actor pretending to be the old me.
- concentration problems
- the concept of time has changed. Like it is going so slowly / just dragging. (Time used to fly by)
- libido and erection problems;


Before this ecstacy experience (overdose) (my first and only). I was a fit ambitious high achieving happy individual with no mental issues.
Click to expand...
I have all your emotional symptoms but noneof the physical ones. How much did you take on your first time?
 
colin681996 said:
I wasn't emotionally numb before I took MDMA. I didn't have a lack of libido or no mornnig wood either. I don't find many things fun at the moment. Everything I loved before I took MDMA have no gone to shit (although this has only become a serious problem in the past month and a half or so) This is not all in my head, I'm sick and tired of hearing that shit. It's like telling someone with cancer its all in their heads. It's such a ridiculous statement.
Click to expand...

I never said it was all in your head. There are actual symptoms you experience from taking to much MDMA due to the severe decrease in your serotonin levels. You are not going to feel the same for awhile until your body recovers from the roll. All I am saying is you are the same person as before you took the MDMA. You are not a different person. I wasn't emotionally numb before I took MDMA, and I am not now. I just have social anxiety and can't do a slot of my hobbies anymore because of an injury. I went through the exact same experience. I know how it feels and it was the worse experience of my life. If you want advice feel free to PM me.

Also @Ryan23, I also thought I had a TBI. I actually ended up going into the ER because I couldn't take it anymore. They did a MRI on my brain and everything came back normal. I will reply to your PM later, have to go right now.
 
As terrible as this is, I think it's funny when I see a new group of people come into these threads discussing the same thing the "veterans" discussed. Have any of you newbies noticed that none of the older posters arent posting anymore? That right there is the sign that many of us have gotten over this terrible LTC stage in our life and are probably back to normal. I periodically come back to this thread to check on people because I do care, and I do know what you are all going through. There is no permanent damage. You will all be back to normal WITH TIME. That's all you need to know because the timeframe is different for everyone. Try not to think about it. Just start living.
 
CloudIX - I'm a 'vet' - 25 months to be precise. Unfortunately there are some of us (arguably a small percentage) who are not that lucky. Eg BBen, Somedud, First Bad Comedown etc Yes some of the LTC suffers do get better but not all....
 
I seen on video that alcohol is likely to increase the neurotoxic effects of MDMA. This worries the fuck out of me as I was drunk when I took the 1 and a half pills and I'm pretty sure I had a few beers the day after
 
Nambo said:
CloudIX - I'm a 'vet' - 25 months to be precise. Unfortunately there are some of us (arguably a small percentage) who are not that lucky. Eg BBen, Somedud, First Bad Comedown etc Yes some of the LTC suffers do get better but not all....
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I think some of the longer term "LTCs" result from a co-morbid anxiety related disorder that was either triggered or greatly worsened by drugs.

If you are more than 18 months in, you should look at it as a mental health problem and treat it accordingly. I believe this is the case with FBC as he said he only started feeling better after treating his symptoms as a mental health issue rather than drug related damage.

I was lucky, my hell lasted 9 months. With the benefit of experience and hindsight, looking back, had I not experienced any progress I would have looked for a pharmaceutical way of treating my LTC as a mental health issue.
 
Dawglaw said:
I think some of the longer term "LTCs" result from a co-morbid anxiety related disorder that was either triggered or greatly worsened by drugs.

If you are more than 18 months in, you should look at it as a mental health problem and treat it accordingly. I believe this is the case with FBC as he said he only started feeling better after treating his symptoms as a mental health issue rather than drug related damage.

I was lucky, my hell lasted 9 months. With the benefit of experience and hindsight, looking back, had I not experienced any progress I would have looked for a pharmaceutical way of treating my LTC as a mental health issue.
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Hey dawglaw--just curious what do you think of the HPA theory on the LTC stuff?

You know how some people's LTC is delayed right? A fully "all in your head" theory does not really quite explain anxiety or depression emerging a few weeks later--how can the brain be traumatized when there was no trauma? And the neurotoxcity theory also doesn't make any sense for the delayed problems.

I feel like people's biochemistry is already off before MDMA and what happens is that the off biochemistry prior to MDMA can potentially lead to an LTC. Basically the bioenergetic stress theory that parrott ac has written about. I'm talking about stuff like vitamins, minerals, gut health, inflammation/hidden sensitivities, bad genes, etc which could probably make it harder for people's bodies to adjust the hormones/neurotransmitters/cytokines that were thrown off. And then the stress of the LTC further mentally perpetuates the problem.

Btw--for you people struggling I would suggest trying to find health practitioners that integrate conventional+natural medicine. That way you can get your entire biochemistry evaluated by their labs. You need someone who goes by your symptoms and not just the lab ranges. I'm not talking about quackery treatments though--I mean someone who can give you recovery protocols that are based in sound science.

I know a lot of people are in the UK so im not really sure how it works there but im guessing you have to go outside of the NHS. I've read about people complaining all the time about getting treated for their adrenal/thyroid/sex hormone problems over there.
 
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IM really struggling here with a lot of problems so I'm goina give the ssri a go (prozac).
I don't have anxiety or depression but I have physical symptoms.
Does anyone know if these physical symptoms could be related to low serotonin
Headache problems thinking
Vision changes
Skin changes
Impotence
Muscle loss and Sore muscles after light training
Memory/ personality changes

And anyone that's tryed ssri how did it go ? How long do I need to stay on them for ?

I have taken ecstacy quite a lot of times years ago but this time I really abused it 2 days in a row with alchol I am pretty sure there is damage but obviously I'm goina think that with the symptoms I'm getting..so does anyone else have these symptoms and will ssri help.

When this all started I was getting really bad pricking tingling feeling all over my body I don't get that anymore but im wondering if that was my nerves being damage due to overdosing

I've had blood and mri all clear
 
colin681996 said:
I have all your emotional symptoms but noneof the physical ones. How much did you take on your first time?
Click to expand...
3 or 4 pills (I believe) . I took 1.5 pills initially but then have no memory for the remain of the evening. This being from 6pm to 3am yes a 9 hour period!! No memory what so ever. I believe whilst I was in this trace state 'friends' gave me more.
 
The most frustrating thing about all of this, is that its like being in survival mode, it's not even like living. It feels like my life is on hold, hopefully this will surpass soon. I'm 19..... I should be out there enjoying my life and living freely. At this moment in time it's the complete opposite
 
ryan23 said:
IM really struggling here with a lot of problems so I'm goina give the ssri a go (prozac).
I don't have anxiety or depression but I have physical symptoms.
Does anyone know if these physical symptoms could be related to low serotonin
Headache problems thinking
Vision changes
Skin changes
Impotence
Muscle loss and Sore muscles after light training
Memory/ personality changes

And anyone that's tryed ssri how did it go ? How long do I need to stay on them for ?

I have taken ecstacy quite a lot of times years ago but this time I really abused it 2 days in a row with alchol I am pretty sure there is damage but obviously I'm goina think that with the symptoms I'm getting..so does anyone else have these symptoms and will ssri help.

When this all started I was getting really bad pricking tingling feeling all over my body I don't get that anymore but im wondering if that was my nerves being damage due to overdosing

I've had blood and mri all clear
Click to expand...

Here's some of the symptoms of low serotonin levels -

Physical Symptoms

Chronic, persistent fatigue – this happens even though the sufferer is fully rested and is inactive most of the time
Sleep Disorders – although quick to fall asleep, the sufferer has trouble sleeping soundly due to anxiety and even restless leg syndrome
Loss of appetite and craving for carbohydrate – the sufferer may lose interest even in eating but also crave carbohydrates as the body tries to restart serotonin production by causing spikes in insulin production. This may lead to weight gain
Decreased sex drive
Hot flushes and fluctuating body temperature – these are caused by the interplay of neurotransmitters trying to compensate for serotonin at serotonin receptors especially in the hypothalamus
Migraine and headaches – these are caused by metabolic disorders caused by low serotonin levels
Gastrointestinal pain – this is caused by the reduced gastrointestinal movement caused by low secretion of serotonin by enterochromaffin cells in the gut

Emotional Symptoms of Low Serotonin Levels

Emotional numbness and social withdrawal – sufferers lose interest in social engagements and experience dour moods
Depression – this is the classic sign of low serotonin levels and the reason drugs such as SSRIs that increase serotonin levels are used as antidepressants
Increased emotional sensitivity – this can present as low self-confidence, low self-esteem and low threshold to taking offence. This leads to sudden crying spells and bouts of sadness
Loss of interest in sexual activities and irritability
Obsessive-compulsive disorder

There is quite a few other symptoms of low serotonin levels too because of all the areas it helps to regulate. One of the main symptoms (such as increased sensitivity, which can transfer into physical as it did in my case) can lead to other symptoms such as having a lower pain threshold and higher sensitivity to outside stimuli. You don't have to have all of these symptoms to be suffering from low serotonin levels. The chemicals in our bodies are heavily responsible for how we feel and if they are out of whack then you are not going to feel the same until you get them balanced again.

Also, I believe what Dawglaw stated earlier is true. For example, think of somebody who was diagnosed with PTSD when they were younger and has just now suffered a traumatic event. That event could now trigger their previous PTSD and bring on a bout of new symptoms as well. It usually happens to them a month or two after the event happened, but it can happen sooner. A traumatic event could bring out all sorts of problems that you never experienced before. I know someone who got in a car wreck and all of a sudden he had severe social anxiety and was afraid to leave his house even though we wasn't injured at all. Having your brain and body release a massive amounts of chemicals, like serotonin, can be a pretty damn traumatic experience afterwards. It would be fair to say that it could be classified as a traumatic event for some people.
 
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