I am a 25 yr male - On 18th July night in Ibiza, I consumed untested mdma (250-350mg – orally mixed in water) in Ibiza with 3 other friends with a lot of alcohol. That was the 2nd time I tried a hard drug (1st one was 4-5 years back, very little quantity- just for the sake of trying it and i was perfectly fine the next day). Anyway, All my friends are good, didn’t experience this at all what I am. The next way, I was standing at a car hire counter in France, when I felt my legs shake (thought it to be an earthquake!). After a few minutes, I felt dizzy and heard a sound from my ears (tinnitus). Sat on a bench for an hour or so and then had to continue my trip. The next two days were fine, I partied a lot (drank a lot of alcohol and had cigs). On 22nd in Zurich, I was driving on the highway passing long tunnels, when suddenly while driving I heard the same sound from my ears and I had my first panic attack. I couldn’t drive, went to the back seat and lied down. I started to feel numbness in my hands and legs, and had a severe panic attack. Rushed to the hospital – blood tests, BP and sugar came back normal. Stayed for 2 nights in Zurich, with constant vertigos- couldn’t sleep properly, had very short breaths, numbness in hands, constant dizziness and too much of unbearable anxiety. Finally I gathered courage to catch my flight back home, landed on 24th July.
I felt better the following week, but still felt constant numbness in hands while sleeping and felt anxious. Then after a week or so, I partied and had a lot of alcohol and slept fine. But again after a few days, I had alcohol again and this time, had an anxiety attack. My pulse was 140 when I checked it. Took hours to go to sleep.
Since then, I have been away from all stimulants (alcohol, cigs, caffeine) and feeling better in terms of dizziness and anxiety. Went to my physician, BP came quite high - 100/160.
Now its been 45 days since I took mdma, I still constantly keep thinking about my anxiety issues( cant help stop thinking at all). I didn’t even know what anxiety was before the incident. I have headaches every other day, and slight anxiety since I just cant stop thinking about it too. A couple of times this week while driving, I got too anxious and had to take my anxiety pill prescribed by my physician for emergency - Lonazep MD- 0.5, which did make my anxiety go away. I just feel derealisation (DR) all the time, as if I am not connected/attached to the world properly, dreamy feeling and have difficulties concentrating hence often causing short-term memory problems. I don’t feel normal as I was before. Also, sometimes I feel nausea while trying to concentrate on something.
I have been having pains in neck and head quite often. (3-4 days a week). I am absolutely nicotine (or any other stimulant ) free since 20 days and I think that could be a reason for my headaches, not sure. Though I was never a chain smoker, but I would have a cig a day normally, and 15-20 cigs once a week with partying/boozing crazily. I have also been smoking pot since 2 years – twice a week or so ( but not any longer now). I have never been on any long term medications. (allergies, anti-depressants or anything)
I am just worried about any permanent brain damage done by that single dose (serotonin/axon damage) to my brain. And whether or not, this 24/7 DR and sometimes anxiety(be it bearable sometimes) goes away PERMANENTLY.
I miss my old self.
