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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 2)

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Mudokon said:
Hi all

I've joined this forum because I need to get advice.

On the 9th April I dropped MDMA with 3 other mates, I cannot specify the dosage all I can tell is we bought a gram and a half and it was a brown colour and I rolled about a third of it maybe. I made my bomb fatter as I am more experienced but after this experience I won't be going near any drug again. On the night I had the time of my life. I was however sweating buckets and I was breathing very heavily and talking a lot of sh*t obviously. My friends were looking after me though it was all good.

Comedown the day after was very mild, unusually mild. Felt a bit down but I stayed in my friends house and we hung out and ate food/drank coffee etc so it was all good. My friend said he felt quite down but nothing more then the usual comedown. Didn't think twice about it just got on with it, went back to college and assumed it was because I was a veteran that I was having no comedown.

Fast forward to the 20th April. I woke up in the middle of the night having a very intense panic attack, I felt like a different person. This lasted about an hour. I managed to get back to sleep and go into college. Going into college that morning I felt strange, like my environment had changed or something. It wasn't too bad, just thought I was in shock from the panic attack. I thought to myself, I have a doctors appointment on the 22nd April so if I don't feel better it'll be grand.

It got worse, much worse, I was experiencing feelings of intense panic, derealisation and depersonalisation. the 22nd April was the peak, I felt like killing myself to end the nightmare. I went to the doctor and she referred me to a psychiatric ward. As I was being assessed that sot of calmed me down so the situation didn't seem so bad to the doctor. She said look you've had a bit too much fun partying and your body is having a late reaction to the drugs, I'll prescribe you some Seroquel(anti-psychotic) pills that'll help you sleep and think clearly, and feel less panicky.

It is now the 28th April, things don't feel as bad but I'm by no means better, I still have this lingering feeling of doom and that my parents are someone elses parents stuff like that. Although it's not as intense I'm still having that "is this nightmare ever going to end?" feeling. It doesn't fluctuate, it's constant from the second I wake up to the moment I fall asleep.
Click to expand...
First thing I'm going to say is that you took a way too high dose. If that was pure MDMA that puts you at around 400mg, which is about 3 times what you actually need to have a proper roll. Now, again if it was pure MDMA, after-effects are to be expected for a while following such a dose so that's not abnormal. What you describe sounds like what I would expect following such a dose, there's nothing there that I haven't heard before, which is a good thing

Secondly I'm going to assume you haven't tested your drugs with a testkit, so you actually don't have any idea if that was real MDMA or not. Other drugs might have other after-effects and considering you took around 400mg I think it could have been much worse. You really need to test your drugs, before you run into something more harmful than MDMA.

Lastly the only thing you can do is wait it out. Try to keep a healthy lifestyle, which means proper food, lots of exercise (seriously, this helps a lot), no drugs for a while (including alcohol and weed), perhaps try some meditation since it does help for some people. Your worrying about this is very likely making your symptoms worse, so try to get on with your life as best you can, that might be easier said than done but don't underestimate the impact of your mental state on your physical one. I suggest you take some time off of researching your symptoms and just try to go with the flow. Which is again, probably easier said than done

I'm going to move this into the recovery thread, where you will find people with experience in this. Welcome to bluelight :D! You'll be fine, this isn't permanent, it's the expected consequence of MDMA (ab)use
 
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What's up everyone, I haven't been on this website in a long long time, yet I thought it was worth coming back to say that last March everything fell apart due to stress, family and obviously one night of MDMA (or should I say one reaction to MDMA). It's been like a year and and 2 months almost, and I can easily conclude, it's all very much stress and anxiety. I spent absolutely months on end searching what could be wrong with me over the summer and saw an unholy amount of doctors, but really, it came from in my mind. I was at the first year of University trying my best to keep it together staying up every night taking pro-plus (caffeine pills) making sure I was doing sufficient work, tending to my friends are home, took a drug in between of this and then my cousin died a couple of weeks after I already felt too anxious to cope. Of course it was stress and anxiety! The reason I don't come on here now is because long ago, possibly last September, I realised. So now I go to concentrated anxiety forums and no joke people, they're in the exact same spot as us. People who've had the death of someone recently, people who have anxiety of eyeballs and even people who've got some of the symptoms everyone lists here from smoking weed their first time. Not to mention these anxiety forums are a huge contributor to me getting better, most of the help is on there.

Personally, I haven't completely recovered from my anxiety, however just the realisation is enough to make me feel like I'm making progress. Once you know where to start, you can't really go backwards. It's not the MDMA, unless you're literally eating them like they're multivitamins every night. I had one bomb, the weighing of it being anxiety to the somehow "unknown" disease 'LTC' is highly, highly, highly likely. The manifestation of your survival instincts to a bad reaction is going to be anxiety leading a panic attack, which is why, I and many others on this website experienced it.

Hope I've given some insight to some people.
 
BlueBull said:
First thing I'm going to say is that you took a way too high dose. If that was pure MDMA that puts you at around 400mg, which is about 3 times what you actually need to have a proper roll. Now, again if it was pure MDMA, after-effects are to be expected for a while following such a dose so that's not abnormal. What you describe sounds like what I would expect following such a dose, there's nothing there that I haven't heard before, which is a good thing

Secondly I'm going to assume you haven't tested your drugs with a testkit, so you actually don't have any idea if that was real MDMA or not. Other drugs might have other after-effects and considering you took around 400mg I think it could have been much worse. You really need to test your drugs, before you run into something more harmful than MDMA.

Lastly the only thing you can do is wait it out. Try to keep a healthy lifestyle, which means proper food, lots of exercise (seriously, this helps a lot), no drugs for a while (including alcohol and weed), perhaps try some meditation since it does help for some people. Your worrying about this is very likely making your symptoms worse, so try to get on with your life as best you can, that might be easier said than done but don't underestimate the impact of your mental state on your physical one. I suggest you take some time off of researching your symptoms and just try to go with the flow. Which is again, probably easier said than done

I'm going to move this into the recovery thread, where you will find people with experience in this. Welcome to bluelight :D! You'll be fine, this isn't permanent, it's the expected consequence of MDMA (ab)use
Click to expand...

Thank you, that post really got to me and I am glad it is not abnormal, which is obviously the biggest fear.

I've definitely learned my lesson and will not be going near drugs ever again, sounds extreme but it's true.

And no I didn't test it but I did get about 3 opinions all saying it was fine, and like the fool I was I thought I was invincible..
 
thejibberman said:
What's up everyone, I haven't been on this website in a long long time, yet I thought it was worth coming back to say that last March everything fell apart due to stress, family and obviously one night of MDMA (or should I say one reaction to MDMA). It's been like a year and and 2 months almost, and I can easily conclude, it's all very much stress and anxiety. I spent absolutely months on end searching what could be wrong with me over the summer and saw an unholy amount of doctors, but really, it came from in my mind. I was at the first year of University trying my best to keep it together staying up every night taking pro-plus (caffeine pills) making sure I was doing sufficient work, tending to my friends are home, took a drug in between of this and then my cousin died a couple of weeks after I already felt too anxious to cope. Of course it was stress and anxiety! The reason I don't come on here now is because long ago, possibly last September, I realised. So now I go to concentrated anxiety forums and no joke people, they're in the exact same spot as us. People who've had the death of someone recently, people who have anxiety of eyeballs and even people who've got some of the symptoms everyone lists here from smoking weed their first time. Not to mention these anxiety forums are a huge contributor to me getting better, most of the help is on there.

Personally, I haven't completely recovered from my anxiety, however just the realisation is enough to make me feel like I'm making progress. Once you know where to start, you can't really go backwards. It's not the MDMA, unless you're literally eating them like they're multivitamins every night. I had one bomb, the weighing of it being anxiety to the somehow "unknown" disease 'LTC' is highly, highly, highly likely. The manifestation of your survival instincts to a bad reaction is going to be anxiety leading a panic attack, which is why, I and many others on this website experienced it.

Hope I've given some insight to some people.
Click to expand...

Thanks for stopping by jibberman! Glad to hear you're on the right path to recovery.
 
Trulyblessed is still here, WHOO! No joke i'll sleep well tonight. Seriously i've thought about this and we're literally warriors... This shit is so severe yet we just keep running against the waves. Stay strong guys.
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwQT-r-lXWg A song that gets me through the hard days is this, makes me feel like im 'on' as sickening as that is, it is a stress relief for me as times have been extremely tough for me lately, keeping up with Uni is killing me haha. Still hanging in here fellas...
 
Hey guys. Need some advice.
Had a pretty good time the last weeks. Drinking alc/coffeine seems to be no problem anymore. I even feel better when I consume it.
But: 4 days ago I had a crazy night with nightmares and breathing stops. Since then I have massive problems with shortness of breath. It drives me crazy. I can cope with all LTC symptoms pretty well meanwhile(The most are gone) , but this fucks me up hardly. I even consider to start SSRIs. Anyone who has some tips?
 
Shortness of breath is 100 percent anxiety and nighttime panic attack and I feel short of breath all the time and I have done all tests cardio and pulm and I mean all
 
Yup, just went to the doc again cause I wanted to be sure that its anxiety related. All tests came back positive. Its so crazy...My oxygen saturation is 100% and I feel like I'd suffocate. Damn, I was so near to the 100% and now this makes me nuts.
 
Besides some of the typical anxiety physical symptoms though this LTC has quite a few more if you guys have noticed...

So clearly its not entirely just anxiety mediated although that doesnt mean you cant treat it using anxiety techniques
 
Hi everyone this is my story. Back in 08 a semi truck hit my truck and I was all mess up. I had surgery on my back and it helped a little bit but still couldn't cope. I ended up going to a pain management dr and he was giving me 42 perk 10 every 2 weeks. After a while I got bumped up 2 3 oxy 20 each day then I started to taking 2-4 times to many and had to buy 80s to get me by. Then started buying H because it was cheaper. Now 6+ years later I am going crazy I just lost my job over this shit and I have been clean for 8weeks now but my stomach is still all messed up. Before I quit I was doing about a gram of h every day. Snorting it never shot it. My question is how many other people had the same stomach issues as me and my energy level is still low much better every week but I am still lazy as hell.
 
So I havent been on here in a while, but has anyone tried treating this as adrenal fatigue?

I started taking Pregnenolone. A hormone steroid, that treats adrenal fatigue. If you look at the symptoms of adrenal fatigue, this LTC could be an extreme example of it.

Even if there was some form of brain damage, there absolutely has to be some form of adrenal fatigue due to all the stress and lack of sleep as a result.

I started taking 10mg daily of Pregnenolone over the last 4 days and I want to say, I already have better energy and in a better mood and sleeping better.

I know this is really early in to the treatment with it, but Im optimistic.

So even if there is brain damage, taking this stuff could help, because it might address the adrenal fatigue aspect, which in return might help the brain heal faster.

On top of this, this is supposed to be one steroid that is the best in its class to improve memory and cognition.

Its over the counter with little to no side effect and can be bought cheap online.

https://www.lef.org/magazine/2007/11/report_pregnenolone/page-01?checked=1

Im gonna give it a month before I really make any judgements.

Another member recommended this to me. After 3 days of taking this, he said all of his symptoms were gone. He called it the cure for him!


Im doing really awesome in general btw.

-The only realy symptoms Im still dealing with, is some emotional blunting, which is nothing like it used to be.
-Music still isnt as special to me as it used to be, but i can relate to it wayyyyyyy better now and I love songs again, and Im way happier and get very excited now at things.
-My mind is wayyyy clearer and I can visualize things in my mind amazingly now. I almost have my old engineering brain back.
-I still got this Derealization thing with my vision with the snow, but what ever.
-A feeling in my head of floatiness. But its cool, I dont mind it anymore. Its just there.
-Personality wise, Im like 95% back to my old self. Sense of humor and all. Im very quick witted again and can joke around like I used to and feel pretty sharp socially.
-Even my sleep is way better.
-Its just over 2 years, and Im super optimistic of the future. Thinking of looking for another drafting job when a few months ago, I doubted my cognitive ability to hold that job down.

Ive even had some amazing mushroom and acid trips lately. Coke isnt an issue to me at all either, and those seem to do nothing to my recovery. Weed, I just dont feel like doing anymore but can smoke like a chimney if I wanted to. Alcohol, Meh I dont like feeling crappy in the morning, it actually feels like Im killing brain cells when I drink now. But I can handle it fine. I just prefer to keep it at a bare minimum.
 
pmz said:
So I havent been on here in a while, but has anyone tried treating this as adrenal fatigue?

I started taking Pregnenolone. A hormone steroid, that treats adrenal fatigue. If you look at the symptoms of adrenal fatigue, this LTC could be an extreme example of it.

Even if there was some form of brain damage, there absolutely has to be some form of adrenal fatigue due to all the stress and lack of sleep as a result.

I started taking 10mg daily of Pregnenolone over the last 4 days and I want to say, I already have better energy and in a better mood and sleeping better.

I know this is really early in to the treatment with it, but Im optimistic.

So even if there is brain damage, taking this stuff could help, because it might address the adrenal fatigue aspect, which in return might help the brain heal faster.

On top of this, this is supposed to be one steroid that is the best in its class to improve memory and cognition.

Its over the counter with little to no side effect and can be bought cheap online.

https://www.lef.org/magazine/2007/11/report_pregnenolone/page-01?checked=1

Im gonna give it a month before I really make any judgements.

Another member recommended this to me. After 3 days of taking this, he said all of his symptoms were gone. He called it the cure for him!


Im doing really awesome in general btw.

-The only realy symptoms Im still dealing with, is some emotional blunting, which is nothing like it used to be.
-Music still isnt as special to me as it used to be, but i can relate to it wayyyyyyy better now and I love songs again, and Im way happier and get very excited now at things.
-My mind is wayyyy clearer and I can visualize things in my mind amazingly now. I almost have my old engineering brain back.
-I still got this Derealization thing with my vision with the snow, but what ever.
-A feeling in my head of floatiness. But its cool, I dont mind it anymore. Its just there.
-Personality wise, Im like 95% back to my old self. Sense of humor and all. Im very quick witted again and can joke around like I used to and feel pretty sharp socially.
-Even my sleep is way better.
-Its just over 2 years, and Im super optimistic of the future. Thinking of looking for another drafting job when a few months ago, I doubted my cognitive ability to hold that job down.

Ive even had some amazing mushroom and acid trips lately. Coke isnt an issue to me at all either, and those seem to do nothing to my recovery. Weed, I just dont feel like doing anymore but can smoke like a chimney if I wanted to. Alcohol, Meh I dont like feeling crappy in the morning, it actually feels like Im killing brain cells when I drink now. But I can handle it fine. I just prefer to keep it at a bare minimum.
Click to expand...


Not trying to be an ass, but isn't the whole idea of recovery to not be doing any drugs? I feel like any of your symptoms may still be reproduced from the continued drug use? IDK, I just personally feel that after this LTC experience that illegal drugs are no longer for me.
 
Mudokon said:
Hi all

I've joined this forum because I need to get advice.

On the 9th April I dropped MDMA with 3 other mates, I cannot specify the dosage all I can tell is we bought a gram and a half and it was a brown colour and I rolled about a third of it maybe. I made my bomb fatter as I am more experienced but after this experience I won't be going near any drug again. On the night I had the time of my life. I was however sweating buckets and I was breathing very heavily and talking a lot of sh*t obviously. My friends were looking after me though it was all good.

Comedown the day after was very mild, unusually mild. Felt a bit down but I stayed in my friends house and we hung out and ate food/drank coffee etc so it was all good. My friend said he felt quite down but nothing more then the usual comedown. Didn't think twice about it just got on with it, went back to college and assumed it was because I was a veteran that I was having no comedown.

Fast forward to the 20th April. I woke up in the middle of the night having a very intense panic attack, I felt like a different person. This lasted about an hour. I managed to get back to sleep and go into college. Going into college that morning I felt strange, like my environment had changed or something. It wasn't too bad, just thought I was in shock from the panic attack. I thought to myself, I have a doctors appointment on the 22nd April so if I don't feel better it'll be grand.

It got worse, much worse, I was experiencing feelings of intense panic, derealisation and depersonalisation. the 22nd April was the peak, I felt like killing myself to end the nightmare. I went to the doctor and she referred me to a psychiatric ward. As I was being assessed that sot of calmed me down so the situation didn't seem so bad to the doctor. She said look you've had a bit too much fun partying and your body is having a late reaction to the drugs, I'll prescribe you some Seroquel(anti-psychotic) pills that'll help you sleep and think clearly, and feel less panicky.

It is now the 28th April, things don't feel as bad but I'm by no means better, I still have this lingering feeling of doom and that my parents are someone elses parents stuff like that. Although it's not as intense I'm still having that "is this nightmare ever going to end?" feeling. It doesn't fluctuate, it's constant from the second I wake up to the moment I fall asleep.
Click to expand...


Hey man, just giving you the heads up, but you may have a an easy recovery road ahead of you, or a difficult one. Either way, your symptoms are all very common of this LTC and you will definitely get through all of them. Many of them are temporary (like a week to a month). We are all in this together so don't be afraid to ask questions, and don't spend too much money at the doctor like the rest of us lol
 
Cloudx look up paws we all went threw it and most of us are still dealing with it. I don't know how long you were using but look it up it might answer some of your questions
 
See the pregnenolone working also points to endocrine disturbances, HPA/HPG dysfunction.

I recall having it blood tested many months ago in like october and it came out very low. Although I did not supplement it since I was guna take Clomid which indirectly boosts it anyways.
 
CloudIX said:
Not trying to be an ass, but isn't the whole idea of recovery to not be doing any drugs? I feel like any of your symptoms may still be reproduced from the continued drug use? IDK, I just personally feel that after this LTC experience that illegal drugs are no longer for me.
Click to expand...

Meh, thats a personal preference. Its not Im doing them alot. I've actually had experiences on these substances during my recovery that I feel has helped created from relieve and new viewpoints thats were actually necessary for my recovery. The use needs to be respected and carefully thoughtout.
 
Strangestuff said:
See the pregnenolone working also points to endocrine disturbances, HPA/HPG dysfunction.

I recall having it blood tested many months ago in like october and it came out very low. Although I did not supplement it since I was guna take Clomid which indirectly boosts it anyways.
Click to expand...

Correct, thats actually a few theories Ive came in contact with a while back about the HPA system. I really do think this "LTC" is more than a brain damage thing. It only makes sense that the stress and anxiety and lack of sleep that there is a adrenal dysfunction as well, even if thats not the cause of the LTC, if you solely looks at the causes of non drug induced adrenal fatigue, it would be stress and lack of sleep. The LTC causes severe stress and lack of sleep, which could cause adrenal fatigue, which in return could perpetuate the LTC. Its a vicious cycle.
 
Alright most will probably ignore this but i'm starting to see patterns in this. I haven't got blurry vision and eye pressure for two weeks since I was in vacation. Anxiety was doing very well. I had sex and two minutes after, I get those red eyes with eye pressure, blurry vision and heart palpitation that hasn't faded after two hours. I mean it has to be something hormone related...
 
me2point0 said:
Alright most will probably ignore this but i'm starting to see patterns in this. I haven't got blurry vision and eye pressure for two weeks since I was in vacation. Anxiety was doing very well. I had sex and two minutes after, I get those red eyes with eye pressure, blurry vision and heart palpitation that hasn't faded after two hours. I mean it has to be something hormone related...
Click to expand...

start on 10 mg pregnenolone dude. see what happens.

This is what i got http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0013TKYEE/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Im doing 1.5 tablets(7.5mg) in the morning and at noon another half(2.5mg). 10mg per day

Read about it. It seems like an amazing supplement.
 
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