You sir, do never need to explain yourself to me, as I have no right to judge you in any way. And if my previous comment(s) came across as judgemental in any way whatsoever, then I sincerely ask for forgiveness.
Whatever you decide to do, I will always support you. And I apologize if that sounds like a pick up line.
The thing is, even though we may not know each other, I still want what's best for you. Again though, don't worry, I don't secretly have a crush on you, nor am I trying to act like I'm your father.
If you ever do decide that you wanna use MDMA again, please let me know via PM (if you want to), because I can help you with respect to harm reduction. And if a mod is reading this, I am not implying that I'm gonna help him with respect to a good source (and I'm sure it's possible to see to it that I keep my word). I just don't want the guy to get needlessly hurt because some greedy asshole who doesn't value human life wants to make money selling dangerous bunk.
Take care coderbrah imabicycle - PLUR (you too coderbrah - thanks for letting me know about my typo).
P.S. - I totally understand what you mean when you say that you miss raving, as I felt exactly the same way while recovering. And this is the reason why a few months after I recovered, I went raving again and very carefully consumed a sensible amount of some very expensive, but high purity MDMA. And I didn't get sick again, so it was amazing. I'll never forget that night - my first rave and MDMA use after recovering. Edit - This doesn't necessarily mean however that someone else who has recovered will also be able to rave and roll again without getting another nasty long term comedown (it may, or it may not), so please be careful.