Ihatenotfeeling
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 10, 2017
- Messages
- 218
I'm trying my best guys.. I just went and joined the gym.. it's going to take everything in me to force myself to go everyday
And so does everyone think Prozac is a good idea or bad idea? Idk what to do.
Nucci did you have the same exact symptoms as me ? No feelings what so ever ? I'm never even hungry or tired anymore it's so weird. When I do go to sleep at night I wake up multiple times throughout the night. What all did you do ? Did you take any meds that helped ? And at month 6 you just started to get your feelings back or what ? Sorry I'm so curious about you.. I just want my recovery to be as quick as possible
My optimism regarding this waxes and wanes too but time will tell. I might have to consider medication also but I'm afraid it will just complicate things. I did a two day binge with no food, sleep and 2 glasses of water I think... mixed alcohol, mdma (both crystal and unknown pills), amphetamine and adderal. And I had taken a few benzos before the partying, which I forgot about. I know that whole weekend was idiotic but it is what it is. Sounds like you had a pretty wild time too......
My symptoms are different though..out of curiosity did your state change when you started the medication and how far in the comedown were you?
I would see a doc about the cartilage thing btw if it bothers you. That should be easier to figure out than this brain-nonsense.
I try to go for a walk or jog when I can and eat healthy but honestly I think it's just mainly time that will help. Whatever helps get through the days... another one over soon.
No my state has not changed at all. I'm really thinking suicide is my only option. I think I did too much to recover from. What does waxes and wanes even mean ?
What you are undoubtedly suffering from is extreme anhedonia coupled with something called 'ego death' or loss of the 'self'. It's horrifying and is truely hell on earth. In my experience (personal) and from reading thousands of personal accounts of hundreds of people on various boards. Time, time and more time is the only 'healer' (hopefully) whilst living as healthily as possible and doing all you can to support / better yourself. Meditation, exercise, sleep and maybe counselling. Even if it's to cry and talk about how fucked you are and why why why you were so stupid. I found it helped for that at least. Staying alive is however the number one goal initially and being assisted by medication as a crutch to get you over this initial stage. The majority of people finally recover, I promise. A few don't but they are truely the exception. I know it seems a life time away by you need to give yourself at least two years and then decide if this existence is worth fighting for. Please please however give it 2 years (at least) Some people slowly improve and some have even described like a switch which finally gets turned on again. I truely feel your pain and sorrow and wish you Godspeed.
What you are undoubtedly suffering from is extreme anhedonia coupled with something called 'ego death' or loss of the 'self'. It's horrifying and is truely hell on earth. In my experience (personal) and from reading thousands of personal accounts of hundreds of people on various boards. Time, time and more time is the only 'healer' (hopefully) whilst living as healthily as possible and doing all you can to support / better yourself. Meditation, exercise, sleep and maybe counselling. Even if it's to cry and talk about how fucked you are and why why why you were so stupid. I found it helped for that at least. Staying alive is however the number one goal initially and being assisted by medication as a crutch to get you over this initial stage. The majority of people finally recover, I promise. A few don't but they are truely the exception. I know it seems a life time away by you need to give yourself at least two years and then decide if this existence is worth fighting for. Please please however give it 2 years (at least) Some people slowly improve and some have even described like a switch which finally gets turned on again. I truely feel your pain and sorrow and wish you Godspeed.
Were you this bad off ? What meds did you use.. idk what to have them put me on.. god I really don't even know if I can make it another day. I really keep thinking about the bridge.. it's only 25 minutes away and I could end this misery with a 925 foot fall. I never Imagined something like this could happen to someone.