No Dedication really, I always feel much better after a meeting, I always try to share if I get my hand picked when I have it up, or the round robin hits me. I am an addict and I get a great deal of help from other addict working a program towards there recover, and helping other struggling addict who are clueless and suffering from this Horrible disease.
Addiction is Fatal, Progressive, no know Cure, and the only Treatment is to Not take a drug one Day at a Time !!
All is Well
Hey everyone.
I'm new to bluelight. I'm still learning in recovery. I'm trying on a daily basis to keep my mind open which is totally against my selfish and self seeking nature.
Currently, I'm addicted to codeine and probably diazepam. However the latter was only recently pointed out to me. I dunno why but I always figured vallies were just like candy and could do me no harm.
Anyway, as far as the codeine goes, I know WD is nothing compared to other opiates. I've done it 4-5 times, and I reckon it just gets worse although that could be psychological. At the moment I'm tapering, haven't been to the doc. Just gradually reducing then going to CT when the dosage is low.
As for the benzos. I've been taking 10 or 20mg almost daily for at least a month and before then as often as I could get my hands on them. Easier to score crack!
I'm also alcoholic. I've been off the drink 6 years. I was going to say sober. But I'd be lying. Codeine and valium replaced booze. However, I go to AA meetings regularly especially when I'm clean, which I have been several times over the last 6 years.
Before going to.AA I thought it would be all cult like and churchy. But it aint. It's a bunch of people trying to be honest about themselves and sharing the mad shit they think and do. I've got friends who go to NA who tell me the principles and steps are similar. AA and NA is just like life, you get good cunts and bad cunts. At the beginning I clung onto a couple of good cunts. Got their numbers and communicated with them almost daily. When bad cunts shared I tried to find similarities, I really really really tried not thinking SHUT THE FUCK UP CUNT.
AA works, NA works. If you're honest with yourself. This place, bluelight, works, it's the same deal. It's communication with other people like ME. I used to think I was alone. I was special. I was different. Blah blah bullshit. I'm nothing.
Now I'm sharing here, I'm being honest, I'm an alcoholic and an addict and I want to feel better. This can only happen if I truly WANT IT FOR MYSELF.
Also, every meeting I go to is different. If you don't like one, try another. Find someone who attracts you, NOT SEXUALLY LOL, someone who's got something you want, peace of mind, serenity, calmness. Ask them questions, ask for help. Practice humility. You alone ain't gonna fix everything. You need a guiding hand, like the mods in here. They've all got a powerful message.
Sorry for intruding on your thread. I just wanna reach out to get the help I need. But in doing so I might also help someone else. Program in action lol.
Peace. All the cliches are true you know. One day at a time. It works if you work it. This too shall pass.
Take care.
Sid. U.K.