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May be getting locked up, been there?

rackazoobob said:
Thank you tinker...Like many of my brothers...I knew I was going to be a Marine by the time I was 12...think it is a divine thing,lol or just crazy...still not sure about that. God bless.
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I've been told that's why you are never a former marine!:D
 
Hooie...woke up with cold sweats...sheets and pillow damp. Shakes shivers, weak body...jonesing for the opiate fix. Took my 20mg sr at about 7:45. With the gaba, the kratom all things considered, weaning doses I'm not doing bad. going to cut down to 40mg Fri. and hopefully 0mg by Monday. Giving my body a chance to knjow whats coming this time around. Last time I quit cold turkey from over 400mg/day to 0mg overnight.....I must not have liked myself very much back then. My relationship is much better now and I feel like being a bit nicer:)
 
Its about 10 A.M. going to run the tub with much Epson's and eucalyptus bubbles water temp about 105...cant take much more than that....really hot water just pisses me off for some reason. Maybe those baths by mom when I came out looking like a cooked lobster...who knows?
 
To Druggiesrpathetic, what the fuck are you coming on here for ? You obviously have NO idea about people with drug issues. Go find a forum for Hater's.
 
Couldn't agree more... If you've never had to deal with true loss or pain...or needed an escape. I have zero tolerance. I understand some just do because, but if youre a hater. Please go away. We are all of equal value in our makers eyes. If you believe that or not. We are here for each other. Please be respectful.
 
Cheated a bit today...Took 80mg instead of 60. Sometimes life hits us hard and even a bit of escape from pain be it physical or mental is justified. I stand firm in my release. Just hope not too much life comes before trial date.
 
If you are a self righteous person...Do a study and educate yourself. Many if not most influential persons in history...including Jesus were using some form of substance. If you think Jesus drank grape juice and not wine you are ignorant and I dismiss instantly your judgment.
 
In my defense...I have had a few drinks tonight. I am not usually so philosophical. Ill be better tomorrow...promise.
 
iamanon said:
Buy a bunch of Suboxone Strips. Taper off it.
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If you can get suboxone - it is a brilliant thing to do a rapid taper from.
If done right you can negate the majority of withdrawal symptoms, which i and many other bluelighters can attest to.

But as for smuggling them into prison? No, this is very bad advice, and not the sort of thing bluelight condones.

You've been through a lot dude. Withdrawal is fucking unpleasant, but IME a big part of the suffering is mental.
Taper off your meds and go through the hard bit now - not when you are (possibly) incarcerated.
Wishing you all the best.
 
Thank you spacejunk...appreciate your input and advice. I assuredly will not do anything that could further my sentence time if I do go down. I'm facing a 5 year sentence, 3 WGB. That much time away from my sons will nearly destroy me, but if it has to be it is what it is. I will not add insult to injury by attempting something stupid for a fix. I am not a bible thumper but I have faith not religion. I have respect and appreciate each individuals choice to believe as they choose. If you are so inclined, please pray for me and my family. My Mom used to be my biggest prayer warrior and believe you me, I believe if it weren't for her sometimes I would have been fucked more than once. She has passed recently so I'm kinda on my own these days when it comes to that and I can be stubborn. Asking for help is difficult for me. I thank you in advance for your caring...B
 
Still on my 60mg/day taper. I feel like I'm stuck in between feeling okay and awful. I'm a bit lonely so you may find me whining a bit. I did wish I had someone here with me to help out and to help me be strong. Just saying, would be nice.
 
To rackazoobo in regard to what I said to druggiesrpathetic: I liked your answers mate. Never apologise for being a thoughtful person. Too many ignorant ppl around these days. You have my eternal respect for serving your country. I salute you sir. I've had alcohol and drug issues since I was 14 (36 this year) I found it hard to deal with my emotions and use/d drugs to shut them out. The day I first used Heroin,
I found completeness. I'm off it now, though still on 65ml methadone, but i miss the Heroin so much. It felt like Nirvana when I got high on Heroin. I've
Done a few WD in jail, (UK only) and it ain't nice. I've seen TV progs. about US prison's, they scare the shit out of me.
I hope you don't have to go, but I'm sure you'll manage if you do. If you can pass selection for one of the toughest branches of US armed forces, you can do ANYTHING. Good luck with coming off Oxy. Message me whenever you want and I'll reply within 24hrs.
Later's mate.
 
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rackazoobob Mssg me whenever you want. I'll continue to check for posts from you.
 
Army Ranger here, with the VA do you have your secure messaging set up on https://www.myhealth.va.gov/index.html because that is the fastest way to get info to your docs especially if you need things to happen quickly. If not, go to the VA ER and get that note. Continue with the taper brother, and all us vets will say a prayer that you don't get the time or that you are able to kick before in-processioning.
 
As a Canadian army grunt myself(medical release) I'll be thinking of ya. Seems most I know after our tours ended up addicted to something. Best wishes:)
 
Mad dash, it does me good to see so many ppl trying to help rackazoobob , he sounds like quite a guy (I'm sure you are too). I have no time for ppl who hate on ppl who have substance probs. Make no mistake, I'm not saying he just decided to use, it has been explained why he takes what he does and if I'd have had his injuries, I doubt I'd be anything other than a raving drug monster. The fact that he's trying to contain his problem is testament to his character strength. It took me 17yrs to try and deal with my issues. I'm only just coping now. Anyway, I don't wanna make this post about me, I just wanted to say I'm pleased to see you and everyone trying to help him.
Thanks.
 
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You have all been pretty great...Id love to tip a mug with the lot of you. I got my reg. 10mg oc's yesterday so no more chopping up 80mg sr's. took 20mg this morning and its nearly noon time for another dose, think 10 will tide me til this evening. Pretty shaky but not unbearable. My body def. wants more,lol
 
Mad Dash...ive been working on getting myhealthyvet situated. Had to submit a release form so I can message doc. I have to be mindful of my wording as I don't want to incriminate my VA standing. Its not certain that I will be convicted and as you are prolly well aware...sometimes the less they know the better as they seem to screw stuff up a lot and that is normal uncomplicated stuff.
 
gmac...thank you brother your thoughts are appreciated. I have very low tolerance for people who just don't get it. I have been prescribed pretty much any anti-d made and that shit will fuck you up in the head BAD...the opiates at least keep you grounded and make things feel almost okay. I understand why so many people depend upon them to cope.
 
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