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March Getting Clean Thread v. If I can do it, you can too!

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Zwanya said:
Yeeeahhh CH. Get it.

369 days. I feel good. I will admit, though, my crimson monthly friend will be arriving soon, and that without fail is the biggest trigger for me. The fact that this trigger is chronic and will be until I hit my 50s is an almost debilitating reality to consider. damn.
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It's understandable and it correlates to the brain and body. Just stay strong and you can do it!

And I am doing great today. Well I am sure tomorrow will be better but I have 90 days under my belt.
 
^^ Again, that's really awesome CH keep it up! :)

another 24. I'm exhausted. Been up since early this morning and it's 2:20AM.
 
Zwanya said:
Being on birth control helped, but to tell you the truth, suboxone has made a huge difference in terms of pain during that time. This is what will soothe me the most:

dancingtree_zps70607272.jpg


walking my favorite trail. :)
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That's my kind of trail. There's still snow on the ground here, and it's going to be soggy for a couple of weeks, I'm sure! But as soon as I can, I'm hitting the trails, too, Zwanya!
 
Well, I'm impressed with the > 90 days!
NSA, thanks for the clear info about subs.
Zwanya, talk about anything you like, I think he was just saying that ALL triggers mellow over the course of time.
Great thread, very encouraging to see everyone doing so well!
 
thanks NSA. :)

Captain: That's what this is all about, right? Staying as strong as we can, every day.

SFire: that's true. all triggers do mellow out as time elapses.

JAG: I'm headed back today! :) I hope the snow loosens up so you can get out there. I had a few moments yesterday of just pure bliss; I felt so grateful to be sober, happy, healthy, and able to enjoy the natural highs that life affords us. For years I would spend 75% of my time getting what I needed to feel good. It was the most exaggerated form of extroversion that I've seen. I was unsatiable. I know now that those bursts of good feelings don't have to come from outside chemicals. It can emerge within me. It just took months of patience and determination to be healthy enough to really feel it. I feel like one of my kids (I used to teach kindergarten). Finding joy in the simple things, naturally.

Everyone is doing so well. love all yous.
 
It feels like just yesterday I had 90 days CH. Now I'm at 302 days and I seriously don't know where the time went... It's seriously gone by in a flash and all feels like a dream.

I can't help but wonder if Buperenorphine has more of an effect on my memory and cognition than I realize... As well as whether or not I really have "302 days". I mean, it's been 302 days since I shot dope, smoked weed, took a drink, done anything besides Bupe and I haven't abused my Bupe at all, but what if it has more of an effect on me then I realize because I'm used to it? I have to remember that my "normal" for years was being on opiates, so when I say I feel totally normal on Bupe is that the using normal or legitimate normal? Just some shit I've been thinking about lately... For the record I've switched from suboxone to subutex/generic buperenorphine tablets - so no more naloxone. Not that the naloxone has much of an effect if at all. I think I'm going to start tapering my dose, I'm not planning on jumping in the near future but I do want to A) get my dose down to an easier level to manage when I do start planning my jump and B) see if I notice any difference in my cognition/memory/state of mind while on a much lower dose.
 
Congrats CH! Good for you :)

So yesterday was my birthday and also my anniversary with my boyfriend. He ignored me all day and I didn't hear a word from him. I was clean for my whole birthday besides smoking weed and having some wine and Xanax. No dope though. Today I'm beyond crushed though... how can someone be so cold? Hope everyone is dong good!
 
caseface99 said:
Is it on the 14th? That's my 10 month mark. :)


I'm situated at some friends apartment that I'll be staying at for the next week or so. Exhausted right now and really happy to have somewhere I'm welcome to just relax... I played poker for like 5 hours last night, didn't get to sleep until 5-6am but it was worth it - super fun. I've got a group of guys together now that I've played poker with 4-5 times in the last couple weeks so we'll probably make it a regular thing. I know, gambling and all probably not the best activity for a group of addicts haha but we're just doing $5-$10 cash games, all in good fun.

Hope all are doing well. 298 days.
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It's on the 16th and mannn its getting closer waahhh I am getting super nervous and anxious.. I just have to have this will power and self control not to slip...
 
struggling. I officially do not believe in any god now. not being rude to people to any form of religtion.
 
372 days.

Healthier today than I've been for my entire adulthood. Even though I had a year clean ('09), this is completely different. I feel alive, alert, sharp, content, and most of all, free.
 
Well i've recently realized that I needed to do something else other than trying to taper and relapse.....taper and relapse, over and over and over again. So last week I applied for a grant thru the county that i live in and recieved free methadone maintenance treatment for up to a year. As soon as I started I started looking for a job and landed one for $12/hr fulltime ( 40 - 60 hours a week ). I am very stoked that things are looking up for me all of a sudden. Sometimes good things do happen and all of this has made me alot more optimistic about my long term goals. Currently I'm taking 45mgs of methadone a day, which hold for like half the day and then i feel like shit again, but I go up another 5mgs tommorrow ). I know i'll be just as dependent on the methadone but hopefully it will help me break the whole mind state of living illegal and copping and shit and get me into working and doing things right.
 
^ Congratulations on all the positive changes.

People's half lifes for methadone are really different. The varry from 4 hours all the way up to 150 hours. I was one who liver had the enzymes to chew through it really quickly. If your clinic offers it you may need to get on a twice a day schedule. This is much prefered to trying to wramp up the dose really high. The way half life works increasing a persons dose will make a little longer of the time bearable for a little while but as the dose of drugs is still basically eliminated at the same rate a person with a fast methadone half life will often still have problems. this is why may clinics offer people with short half lifes two doses a day.
 
Well done, everyone. Really pleased with you who have all those days of sobriety - but pleased with you all because you're fighting the force of addiction hard.
Keep going you've got this.
Remember - one step at a time. Rome wasn't born in a day.
One day we struggle with, right? We want results NOW. We need to learn patience.
We'll get there.
Evey xxxx

Zwanya said:
372 days.

Healthier today than I've been for my entire adulthood. Even though I had a year clean ('09), this is completely different. I feel alive, alert, sharp, content, and most of all, free.
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you're still doing INSANITY then?
Well done, you!!!!
You will feel all that - and the endophin rush - which is like no other when doing INSANITY.
I miss that feeling.

Sorry for double post. too tired!
Nos da (good night) xxxx
 
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Kinda late in the game for me, I'm currently only on my 3rd day of detoxing myself from oxycodone and heroin. I'm not using any meds like methadone or subs. I just stopped cold turkey. I've Got some L-Glutamine tabs but idk if or what they could help me with. But this is it for me, it's time to straighten up. Although I'm not ready to quit, I want to quit and I have to. I have a fiancé that moved into a detox facility today, it's broken my heart cuz I've been by her side for almost 7yrs and now she's not and even though it's only for aittle while, it still really hurts me emotionally but I'm glad she is getting the help too. We have a 5yr old daughter together but DSS has gotten involved and she has to stay at her aunts house until her mother and I are clean. Which also makes me very happy that we aren't permanently losing custody of her.

Anyways, I'm glad to be on my third day I have been further than this but I was getting right back I the pills as soon as I could so it was just a waiting period for me. I here the third day is the worst but starts to go down hill after the 3rd day, is this true? I created a thread a little while ago that goes in to more detail on my situation if anyone would like to check it out. It's called: JUST STOPPING BY:)

But I've been reading some of the stories on this thread and it's made a big difference for me me it's something for me to work after and for motivation. I just need all the support I can from you guys cuz I hardly have any here at home:/

Well I hope you hear from y'all soon. I've never explored this part of the forum but I'm glad I did. It's already very helpful.

Edit: here is the link to my more in depth thread: http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/715866-Just-stoppin-by-)
 
mdmazing_ said:
Congrats CH! Good for you :)

So yesterday was my birthday and also my anniversary with my boyfriend. He ignored me all day and I didn't hear a word from him. I was clean for my whole birthday besides smoking weed and having some wine and Xanax. No dope though. Today I'm beyond crushed though... how can someone be so cold? Hope everyone is dong good!
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Happy belated birthday, mdmazing! Pretty sucky about your absent-minded boyfriend. Sending you all kinds of positive vibes from the Midwest. Good work from you, and I think you are great!

Dunno said:
struggling. I officially do not believe in any god now. not being rude to people to any form of religtion.
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Sorry to read you are having such a tough time lately, Dunno. Hope things get better for you soon. If you feel like PMing me, please do.

SteeleyJ said:
Well i've recently realized that I needed to do something else other than trying to taper and relapse.....taper and relapse, over and over and over again. So last week I applied for a grant thru the county that i live in and recieved free methadone maintenance treatment for up to a year. As soon as I started I started looking for a job and landed one for $12/hr fulltime ( 40 - 60 hours a week ). I am very stoked that things are looking up for me all of a sudden. Sometimes good things do happen and all of this has made me alot more optimistic about my long term goals. Currently I'm taking 45mgs of methadone a day, which hold for like half the day and then i feel like shit again, but I go up another 5mgs tommorrow ). I know i'll be just as dependent on the methadone but hopefully it will help me break the whole mind state of living illegal and copping and shit and get me into working and doing things right.
Click to expand...

Man, full-time employment, in my experience, is one of the best things for someone on the wagon. I've been so busy lately, and exhausted by the end of the day, that I haven't even had time to let temptation draw me in this week. It's a good thing, too.

Oxy_Ghost said:
Kinda late in the game for me, I'm currently only on my 3rd day of detoxing myself from oxycodone and heroin. I'm not using any meds like methadone or subs. I just stopped cold turkey. I've Got some L-Glutamine tabs but idk if or what they could help me with. But this is it for me, it's time to straighten up. Although I'm not ready to quit, I want to quit and I have to. I have a fiancé that moved into a detox facility today, it's broken my heart cuz I've been by her side for almost 7yrs and now she's not and even though it's only for aittle while, it still really hurts me emotionally but I'm glad she is getting the help too. We have a 5yr old daughter together but DSS has gotten involved and she has to stay at her aunts house until her mother and I are clean. Which also makes me very happy that we aren't permanently losing custody of her.

Anyways, I'm glad to be on my third day I have been further than this but I was getting right back I the pills as soon as I could so it was just a waiting period for me. I here the third day is the worst but starts to go down hill after the 3rd day, is this true? I created a thread a little while ago that goes in to more detail on my situation if anyone would like to check it out. It's called: JUST STOPPING BY:)

But I've been reading some of the stories on this thread and it's made a big difference for me me it's something for me to work after and for motivation. I just need all the support I can from you guys cuz I hardly have any here at home:/

Well I hope you hear from y'all soon. I've never explored this part of the forum but I'm glad I did. It's already very helpful.

Edit: here is the link to my more in depth thread: http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/715866-Just-stoppin-by-)
Click to expand...

Way to go, Oxy_Ghost! You've got more than just a cheer-leading squad around to support you here! If you've got questions, please feel welcome to ask anything. I'm personally available via PM as well, should you ever want to chat. Great job everyone!
 
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