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Man and Dude and Bro (& co.)

Jamshyd

Jamshyd

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Aug 26, 2003
Messages
15,492
Location
Not on a train, sadly.
I don't understand how this works.

I simply don't know how to use these expressions in either of my two languages. I don't understand how they work in the speaker's mind.

The only rationale I can see behind these expressions is a minor (or not-so minor) latent homophobia (seeing that only straight men (and gay men trying too hard to be straight) seem to use them for the most part).

Or at the very least, they seem to serve a sort of anti-intimacy barrier.

I could be wrong, of course, and here is your chance to prove it, dude!

What boggles my mind even further is people who go out of their way to actually type out these expressions in their posts on internet forums, as though they present actual meaning in and of themselves.

Am I missing anything out, bro?

Can you enlighten me about it, dude?
 
I think you're looking wayyy too much in to it man :)
It's a rather superficial aspect of conversation and I really don't think it means a great deal in the end.

Personally I use man, bro, mate and dude all the time in real life, as affectionate terms for my friends and my 2 brothers.

Or, online, if I wish to make my posts seem more relaxed or colloquial I might slip in a "man" or a "mate" or a "dude" at the end.

Plain and simple dude %)
 
But see, I don't get it... someone calling me "dude" doesn't particularly make me feel more loved by them... quite the opposite... that's one more word between "you" and "I", as if the former two weren't enough to keep us apart...

I think I seriously have some social issues.
 
I use man and dude. Never used bro.

I use it in casual conversation, it's not really to make you feel more loved sometimes it just feels natural to put it in a sentence.
 
Jamshyd said:
But see, I don't get it... someone calling me "dude" doesn't particularly make me feel more loved by them... quite the opposite... that's one more word between "you" and "I", as if the former two weren't enough to keep us apart...

I think I seriously have some social issues.
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Well, each to their own Jam. (I was honestly going to write "man" there, but that would be a bit of overkill :D)

Me and my brothers have been calling each other "dude" and "bro" (that's obviously ME calling THEM bro, not vice-versa ;) :D) since I can remember, so it is definitely something I associated with affection.

You know, it's not actually a problem if you don't like/want to use such terms of expression so don't stress too much over it :)
 
I agree with N3o.........I think you are looking into this way too much.
Its just something that is said.......
like Mia I would never say bro and I'm not an aussie so mate is out of the question but I say man alot and occasionally said dude..........it just slips out:)
Its not something I think you really plan out or think about much........or at least I don't.
I guess its a more causal 'sweetheart'- 'honey' - 'dear' type of thing.....
 
Dude, I call my sis bro sometimes just for kicks. I dunno dawg, I don't ever really use bro, but sometimes I'll just subconciously 'use' it to connect with someone better.

They're just semantical symbols we use for convenience. ("Duuuuuude no way" hey man, got a light? "that shit's lookin sick bro!")

Some people go overboard, like someone who says 'nigga' every 3 seconds. You catchin me, gringo?(lol, i know you're not white....)
 
English lacks a distinct formal and familiar you like a lot of languages have. I think dude, man, buddy, and mate are substitutes for the familiar you as sir serves a function like the formal you. It isn't completely analogous but I think that is a lot of what its about, being friendly and non-formal. Sometimes though it is just a mannerism, dude is so ingrained in some people's speech I'm pretty sure they even say it to their grandma.
 
LOL I don't say nigga. I think I would get laughed out of a room or slapped or something if I tried to pull that one off.

One of my ex boyfriends used to use it all the time and his friend paid me $3 to say "nigga please!" They laughed for about 5 minutes.
 
My trainer keeps calling me buddy. It's somewhere between creepy and belittling, but I know that he doesn't mean anything ill by it.

I use 'man' on occasion, 'dude' virtually never, and 'bro' only in the most sarcastic of situations.
 
I use 'dude' and 'man' a lot. To me, they're just expressions of familiarity. I'd only consider them condescending when there's an impossible-to-ignore power difference between the speaker and the one being addressed.

The words 'chief' and 'boss', and to a lesser extent 'buddy', are a little edgier, I feel. These words carry a bit more inherent disrespect when used to address peers. I know I'll take an instant dislike to someone who pages me 'chief'.
 
Enki said:
English lacks a distinct formal and familiar you like a lot of languages have. I think dude, man, buddy, and mate are substitutes for the familiar you as sir serves a function like the formal you. It isn't completely analogous but I think that is a lot of what its about, being friendly and non-formal. Sometimes though it is just a mannerism, dude is so ingrained in some people's speech I'm pretty sure they even say it to their grandma.
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Not just English. Spanish is known for 'essay" "holmes" "huey(don't know if that's spelt right, Spanish for 'man')

Then you have your 'mates'

People I've met from Hawaii use "brahh" a lot

I'm guilty of 'man' and 'bro' myself. I'll sneak in a 'buddy' every once in awhile. Not so much 'dude'. I use the terms when I'm just trying to be cordial and easygoing; just trying to be nice I guess. I may overuse 'man' every once in awhile.

How many times you use "ehh?" per day Jam?=D Crazy Canadien%) To me it's just a cultural thing depending on where you live like most variations of a language. No secret, personal agenda behind the words to me.
 
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I am so in agreement.
These words unsettle me. As soon as I am called "bro" "dude" or "mate" etc. I feel somewhat misunderstood. It's too much of a macho bravado. And the people who say it, in my opinion, seem to say it to subconsciously carress their own ego rather than as a term of affection.
 
^^I'm sorry you're feeling that way. Not my intention. I usually use a person's name when I'm speaking to them because I was raised that way. Along with using yessir/mam; just a respect thing. Since I don't know your name, I may substitute one of the dreaded 'mans' or 'bros'.

As to not carress my ego though, I will only refer to you as discopupils, D pupe, or DP from now on. I will make a valid effort to never throw a pretentious, unwarranted term in your direction if we ever have a bluelight coversation.
 
MyDoorsAreOpen said:
I use 'dude' and 'man' a lot. To me, they're just expressions of familiarity. I'd only consider them condescending when there's an impossible-to-ignore power difference between the speaker and the one being addressed.

The words 'chief' and 'boss', and to a lesser extent 'buddy', are a little edgier, I feel. These words carry a bit more inherent disrespect when used to address peers. I know I'll take an instant dislike to someone who pages me 'chief'.
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Good summation, sport.
 
Dave said:
My trainer keeps calling me buddy. It's somewhere between creepy and belittling, but I know that he doesn't mean anything ill by it.
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I actually despise this term, "buddy," as well. I know that the person is not trying to offend me, but for some reason I find it patronizing. I was in a very difficult spot when I lived on the East Coast, because people use this term affectionately to their close friends all the time.

I may use "man" a little bit too much in my relaxed, everyday speech to friends.

whenever I use "dude" or "bro" it is usually in context of being ironic or a parody of that type of culture that accepts using those words.
 
I use the word "man" sometimes, but never dude. I'm not a huge fan of girls who use "dude" and "man" excessively; I suppose it does have something to do with masculinity. The australian "mate" is somewhat different, women seem to be able to use this term freely without damage to their femininity...

Sometimes I will use "bro" in a joking or derogatory manner. If I say "brah" I am flat out making fun of someone....

And certainly, "chief" or "boss" has an aggressive feel to it. So can the middle-eastern "my friend"...
 
^ Hehe. Never had I conceived that "Sir" could be used sarcastically as an abrasive or accusatory form of address, until I visited India. I mean, I've heard it used to imply coldness or distance by way of formality. But by the time I left India, I was jumping or standing at attention whenever I was called it.

All in all, I would say Indians make use of unfailingly polite English to express austere sentiments, in a way not seen since the days of pistol duels.
 
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