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Males feelings about having intellegent/educated SO's

I don't mind if my partner has a doctorate, as long as they don't use it as leverage or somehow think they are 'superior'. I have an aunt and uncle that compete with each other via education. To me, it's just silly mind games.

It seems the issue here is the bf being narrow minded and failling to give healthy encouragement and support. This could be harmful, depending on how far he takes it.

If someone feels inferior just because the're with someone with a degree and they don't, it says to me 'insecure'.

I say give him a chance to work on it. If he refuses, leave.

I'd rather be alone than with a partner that drags me down.
 
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Intelligence is not the corollary of tertiary education. There are many stupid people with tertiary-level qualifications, and there are many intelligent people without. However, I would expect a reasonably high correlation between the two.

I wouldn't be interested in a girl who hadn't been through a university. Why? I couldn't be interested in someone who isn't at least as successful, intelligent or who doesn't have at least as much ambition (that is a relative measure, by the way; I do not say that I have any of those qualities). University is, other than in exceptional circumstances, the only way to at least have the chance of avoiding a banal, suburban life. She might be a veritable genius, but, if she is willing to meander through life in a permanent state of mediocrity, she is not the girl for me.
 
Nihilist said:
Just hoping to get some feedback about what the guys on this forum think about having female SO's who are intellegent and/or well educated, and how it affects their relationships. I always thought that the general consensus on the issue is that that these are valued traits that people admire in their partners. However the attitude of my boyfriend sometimes makes me wonder...

I'm at the end of my four-year bachelor's degree at uni. I'm considered to be fairly intellegent (at least in an academic sense), quite articulate and I'm someone who's always prided myself on my grades and worked hard at school. My boyfriend is a little different. Now, he's an extremely smart, mentally 'sharp' man, (frighteningly so at times) but he's never taken his education seriously. He mucked around at school and spent most of his time there getting drunk, high, and in a lot of trouble, and then left to go to work as soon as he was legally allowed. Nor is he all that articulate (more out of lack of practise than anything) and tends to back up his arguments with "fuck this, fuck that, fuck you" etc.

He constantly criticises me for not living "in the real world' (as opposed to being at uni) and gets defensive and abusive during arguments/debates where I'm trying to get him to discuss something that involves deeper thought. Usually, he's the one who starts the debates, but it appears that he doesn't like being challenged. Moreover, he's never expressed any sort of appreciation for my traits and seems to consider my education, and education in general as something of a joke. This can be very hurtful at times. Further, there have been times when we've been out in a group (usually with his friends who have a similar background to him) and people will be debating something and I'll put in my two cents worth. He seems to get irritated with me for arguing my point and has said to me in the past "You shouldn't try to argue with those guys. You're from a different world to them. They just wont get what you're on about".


To be fair, i've never intentionally acted superior to my bf or tried to put him down or anything like that. Nor do I try and push him into being something he's not. However, I don't feel like I should be acting differently to the person I really am and sometimes it feels like he prefers it more when I sit there and smile and agree with everything he says. I once asked him why he valued my companionship and he said that he values the fact that he's got someone to sit and talk to, to mull problems over with and to have someone to help him sort out problems. So, as you can probably understand, i'm a little confused...

I don't know whether it's something that we can deal with over the course of the relationship, or if its something that's going to come between us. It does worry me. I've asked him in the past why he gets so defensive and abusive and he's replied "because i'm working class. That's what working class people do. I dont have any reason to change."

I'm just wondering what other guys think about the whole issue.
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I personally can't date someone who isn't at least near my intelligence level or higher. I always find the perosn very dull, and I find it hard to converse with them. I think for most people though, that there is an upper limit, too. Where as they feel inferior because of your intelligence (I've had girls tell me I intimated them before, because of my intelligence.) I guess I can only speak from my perspective, but I feel that a HUGE level of intelligence is a necessity for being with me. :\
 
Wouldn't have it any other way, I have an aversion to dumb people.

I am amused by them, like I am amused by cute zoo animals, but bore quickly of their lack of understanding or unwillingness to even attempt to comprehend anything unknown.

Recently I explained the water cycle in the simplest of terms, like I was taught back in primary school; rain, evaporation, snow, rivers, trees etc. but the moronic girl I was with kept on saying, '...but I still won't drink piss!'.

I hate such unintelligent and deliberately close-minded people, particularly females who think ostentatious or flirtatious behaviour can substitute knowledge (or at least the pursuit thereof)
 
SardonicNihilist said:
I hate such unintelligent and deliberately close-minded people, particularly females who think ostentatious or flirtatious behaviour can substitute knowledge (or at least the pursuit thereof)
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or even worse, those who think faking stupidity for a laugh is charming and/or sexy. (think jessica simpson and the tuna/chicken debacle) noone is that fucking stupid.
 
^ too true, thankfully I most definitely do not socialise in such circles.

To use a Simpsons cliche, it's the "don't ask me, I'm just a girl" [insert pre-rehearsed squeaky high pitched laugh] phenomena.
 
well darling he sounds like a real fucking gem. to wit:
http://intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html
"Jane starts fucking an outlaw biker"

On a more serious note, (actually I was serious, but whatever) guys respect intelligent/educated/non-drama queen girls way more than the alternative. However the alternative tend to be hotter and keep themselves up due to much more free time (hygiene, grooming, sexy presentation etc) and their life goals are generally much more focused on amazing sex. Also, amazing sex often means rough, borderline abuse of your partner ;) - which isn't easy to reconcile with respecting your partner.

So, it's really tough to have a relationship with someone intellectual and educated while still having insanely great sex, and everyone wants insanely great sex. People also want to respect their partner and have intelligent convos and not have a total dumbass as your #2.

If you can get both in life, bravo! I think you either "settle" for most of what you want, or you insist on everything and run the very real risk of never finding it and wasting lots of time waiting. Personally I'm not that into life itself to wait forever, which as 'nihilist' you should totally understand.
 
That masterladder site is interesting. I don't agree with all of it, but it does explain a lot of things that needed to be said.
 
SardonicNihilist said:
^ too true, thankfully I most definitely do not socialise in such circles.

To use a Simpsons cliche, it's the "don't ask me, I'm just a girl" [insert pre-rehearsed squeaky high pitched laugh] phenomena.
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lmfao!! soooooooo true.

I agree with everything DD and Posa said.
 
Brains and intellegence are by far a woman greast, most attractive, and sexiest attribute. By Far. Physical aesthetic are just fine. But a great mind far out ways everything!!

and that's coming from a pure Hedonist
 
If my woman is not an intellectually stimulating partner , she might as well just pack her bags , her big boobs and sexy ass goodbye. I like to have my partner on at least the same intellectual level as I am , if she is smarter than me that is even more arousing and stimulating aspect of the relationship (well that rarely would happen but anyway.....)

Think about it, if you are purely attracted to someone on physical level only and find the person to be intellectually inferior , that will pass. What will you have to talk about once the honeymoon phase is over ?


:D
 
the best sex is usually proceeded by stimulating conversation on either subjects we are passionate about or heavily disagree on. if its the latter... we tend to get a little rough...

if she doesnt turn me on upstairs, its impossible to turn me on downstairs...
 
>>if she is smarter than me that is even more arousing and stimulating aspect of the relationship (well that rarely would happen but anyway.....)>>

Hopefully you'll find a partner that can appreciate your sincere humility. :)

ebola
 
The Word said:
If you can get both in life, bravo! I think you either "settle" for most of what you want, or you insist on everything and run the very real risk of never finding it and wasting lots of time waiting. Personally I'm not that into life itself to wait forever, which as 'nihilist' you should totally understand.
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I can have it all, and the proof will be in the pudding, as it were.

I see no reason to settle for a sub-par man when I am an above-par woman.
 
Intelligence is the sexiest quality a female can have.

Physically attractive women make me think "Man, she's hot."

Intelligent women make me think "Man, I want to rip her cloths off and do horrible things to her."
 
ebola? said:
>>if she is smarter than me that is even more arousing and stimulating aspect of the relationship (well that rarely would happen but anyway.....)>>

Hopefully you'll find a partner that can appreciate your sincere humility. :)

ebola
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It was a joke ;)
 
What I have noticed and don't take offense is that smart girls are usually more insane than their counterparts. I know quite a few really smart girls and they are all totally bat shit insane.

I don't seem to have much to worry about because in general smart girls either find me creepy or prefer me as a casual aquantance and online buddy.
 
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