Just hoping to get some feedback about what the guys on this forum think about having female SO's who are intellegent and/or well educated, and how it affects their relationships. I always thought that the general consensus on the issue is that that these are valued traits that people admire in their partners. However the attitude of my boyfriend sometimes makes me wonder...
I'm at the end of my four-year bachelor's degree at uni. I'm considered to be fairly intellegent (at least in an academic sense), quite articulate and I'm someone who's always prided myself on my grades and worked hard at school. My boyfriend is a little different. Now, he's an extremely smart, mentally 'sharp' man, (frighteningly so at times) but he's never taken his education seriously. He mucked around at school and spent most of his time there getting drunk, high, and in a lot of trouble, and then left to go to work as soon as he was legally allowed. Nor is he all that articulate (more out of lack of practise than anything) and tends to back up his arguments with "fuck this, fuck that, fuck you" etc.
He constantly criticises me for not living "in the real world' (as opposed to being at uni) and gets defensive and abusive during arguments/debates where I'm trying to get him to discuss something that involves deeper thought. Usually, he's the one who starts the debates, but it appears that he doesn't like being challenged. Moreover, he's never expressed any sort of appreciation for my traits and seems to consider my education, and education in general as something of a joke. This can be very hurtful at times. Further, there have been times when we've been out in a group (usually with his friends who have a similar background to him) and people will be debating something and I'll put in my two cents worth. He seems to get irritated with me for arguing my point and has said to me in the past "You shouldn't try to argue with those guys. You're from a different world to them. They just wont get what you're on about".
To be fair, i've never intentionally acted superior to my bf or tried to put him down or anything like that. Nor do I try and push him into being something he's not. However, I don't feel like I should be acting differently to the person I really am and sometimes it feels like he prefers it more when I sit there and smile and agree with everything he says. I once asked him why he valued my companionship and he said that he values the fact that he's got someone to sit and talk to, to mull problems over with and to have someone to help him sort out problems. So, as you can probably understand, i'm a little confused...
I don't know whether it's something that we can deal with over the course of the relationship, or if its something that's going to come between us. It does worry me. I've asked him in the past why he gets so defensive and abusive and he's replied "because i'm working class. That's what working class people do. I dont have any reason to change."
I'm just wondering what other guys think about the whole issue.
I'm at the end of my four-year bachelor's degree at uni. I'm considered to be fairly intellegent (at least in an academic sense), quite articulate and I'm someone who's always prided myself on my grades and worked hard at school. My boyfriend is a little different. Now, he's an extremely smart, mentally 'sharp' man, (frighteningly so at times) but he's never taken his education seriously. He mucked around at school and spent most of his time there getting drunk, high, and in a lot of trouble, and then left to go to work as soon as he was legally allowed. Nor is he all that articulate (more out of lack of practise than anything) and tends to back up his arguments with "fuck this, fuck that, fuck you" etc.
He constantly criticises me for not living "in the real world' (as opposed to being at uni) and gets defensive and abusive during arguments/debates where I'm trying to get him to discuss something that involves deeper thought. Usually, he's the one who starts the debates, but it appears that he doesn't like being challenged. Moreover, he's never expressed any sort of appreciation for my traits and seems to consider my education, and education in general as something of a joke. This can be very hurtful at times. Further, there have been times when we've been out in a group (usually with his friends who have a similar background to him) and people will be debating something and I'll put in my two cents worth. He seems to get irritated with me for arguing my point and has said to me in the past "You shouldn't try to argue with those guys. You're from a different world to them. They just wont get what you're on about".
To be fair, i've never intentionally acted superior to my bf or tried to put him down or anything like that. Nor do I try and push him into being something he's not. However, I don't feel like I should be acting differently to the person I really am and sometimes it feels like he prefers it more when I sit there and smile and agree with everything he says. I once asked him why he valued my companionship and he said that he values the fact that he's got someone to sit and talk to, to mull problems over with and to have someone to help him sort out problems. So, as you can probably understand, i'm a little confused...
I don't know whether it's something that we can deal with over the course of the relationship, or if its something that's going to come between us. It does worry me. I've asked him in the past why he gets so defensive and abusive and he's replied "because i'm working class. That's what working class people do. I dont have any reason to change."
I'm just wondering what other guys think about the whole issue.
