little things that make me believe

[Deleted member 578389]

i believe in god for a selfish/less reason, he intercedes in my defense. if i honor him

 

[Uden]

I've had so many coincidental moments in my life. I don't recall any specifics at the moment. I'm pretty skeptical so I usually just kind of shrug and file them away with a little wink. I want the more concrete stuff. NDE's. Dreams. Dreams have a tendency to be pretty odd. I've dreamt of places I've never been, didn't know existed, on multiple occasions, and ended up in those places later on in life. I once dreamt about myself and an ex of mine splitting up, and the dream had oddly specific things in it related to the last time I ever saw her in the waking world. That day, some of the things from my dream ended up being a part of the rigamarole the day we split. Tarp, firewood, the dude she was leaving me for. I had this dream 7 years prior to the actual event taking place.

I went to Sunday school when I was a kid. Church of the Nazarene. So I was brought up Christian. I believed in God "like every good little boy does." Then school, life... lead me to ponder things, like it does. I think a lot of people probably go through that chain of events. Like believing in Santa, or the Easter Bunny. Thing is, I wanted to believe, but I had convinced myself that there was nothing after death. I despaired over it for a long time. It crushed me. Think what you will of that. *shrug* I'm a skeptic. I don't believe easily anymore. For a long time, I had the mentality that I couldn't believe, because I didn't know. For me knowing and believing were one and the same. I used to despair over that too, that I would never be able to have faith like so many others seemed to have. It took me a while to understand that believing and knowing are two different things. Can't say I'm the brightest bulb in the batch. Oh well. I've seen enough shit to know, that we know very little about our... predicament. This place, ourselves, our place in all of it. One person says one thing, another says something else, and ten more say five thousand other things. Each one of them proclaiming to know exactly what they're talking about.

I can't claim to know what is out there... but I do think there is something else, something "other." Gnostic shit has resonated with me recently. I'm not sure if that's because of my outlook on life, or something else. It's probably the former. Smarter men than me have gone and died with the conviction that everything would turn out alright, and there was a place that they were going. Who am I to question them when I know so little? One thing I hope, and I believe, is that whatever exists out there beyond the veil, in some place that cannot be measured, it's better than anything we could come up with. Every religion I've come across has the mark of humanity on it. Even the Gnostic stuff. We project ourselves into those things, our shortcomings, our fears, hopes and dreams, etc.

Anyway. Ramble ramble rant rant expostulation exclamation... etc. And stuff.

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Here is a story that just happened in with the hour.

There is a cat outside that is living under our porch (again) we are trying to get him in to give him a home (As with the last one) -- Truly putting Alot of effort in, opening can food by where it sleeps twice a day, putting water out etc...

Well anyways we were just on our way to the convenience store -- decide RANDOMLY to check our fluids (Once a five yr occasion probably) -- That little kitty was in the engine and woulda been smoke had we started that car.

The odds of opening the hood that time ---- an accumulation of events like this is what holds together my believing in the divine. And you know faith.

The odd s very slim his would happen 'notsmokeypot42088' a story very fameliar.
But you must be equipped with the eyes of love, and i am no hippy .

When still in my place i grew up, Suburb s of R_dam, lot s of Cats. One of my many adopted friend s used to have grease on it s fur ? Was explained when it seemed to scroll in the hood of a just used car. For the residual warmth ! We be worried as that animal kept doing it. Hope it never ended bad.
[allergy for Cat s prohibited me getting a Cat]

When i was about 30 or so i lived near the centre of R_dam, old neighbourhood.
Lot s a abaddoned semi wild cats roamed, abandoned by former owners ?
We got a house with garden and a semi 'wild'. More like well adapted free Cat,
knowing the trick s of live, she was a veteran. This POES had a got a good retirement plan.

We adopted her as was a garden Cat, she was taken care by us and our neighbour Miep her husband had a cool name he was Italian, both real nice people. The old inhabitants that still remained, we we the new shift.

For POES i build a better home isolated from the floor with STROO [dried grain stalkes ?] Gave top food but she had plan B and C. Never relied on us. When she got about 21 and 1/ 2 by estimate.

She started showing old age rapid and died a peaceful death by a vet s injection.
She was running on E, had her last meal Tuna from a can. Called a vetn which came to our house and she was gone in a flash. , we shed a tear or more.

You are good i knew you picked up wannabe rappers, along way. This story was so close to what you wrote. Been on my tongue a while. Gonna add some more like those encounters described with the Eagle and the Arrow.

Ever crossed path s with Foxes ? You must have gotten gifted:


Ua Mau Ke Akua Aina/ The Spirit of the Land is Preserved in Righteousness

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

Synchronicities & innate feelings tell me that some times things happen in the world for whatever reasons. Those reasons are probably beyond our human scope of understanding.


Dissociative drugs like DXM specifically, also showed me that everything is connected in this world. When you hurt another person, you're also just hurting yourself. Reality can never be totally defined, because we can never have all the answers.

 

[notsmokeymcpot42088]

@docpavor and all else....I am glad to report kitten rescued!! My other cat is not feeling well right now and it was starting to snow at night so my patience was running thin --- kitty was rolling around being cute in front of me and accidentally got its claws caught in what once was a mosquito net. I seized the opportunity and tossed it inside along with the netting and slammed the door!

She is a sweetheart - quite likely also a Norwegian forest cat - possibly even from the same lineage as our other Norwegian forest cat as we recovered him the same way.

Still such a kitten though -- teething a bit -- likes to use me as a salt lick lol. Sat in my arms purring for like 40 minutes when it came in after calming down a couple of hours; and this may be athropro (assigning human traits) but I it poked its head under my bathrobe for awhile and I felt a little bite pretty close to my nipple. (Is it possible the cat things I'm its mom?)

I felt bad I did not let it sleep in the bed the first night (as our cat is not feeling well) and passed out hard after many sleepless nights of trying to capture/catnap/rescue that kitten with the utmost vigilance and (later) heard it was crying outside of my room all night.
Also -- although my cat is sick it has perked up a bit and does play with the kitten; really seems thrilled to have her around. It grew up with an older kitty brother (Who grew up with older kitty sisters etc)!

Glad to see them getting along and in a worst case scenario I was able to give my cat one more joy in life.

Smokey

Thanks to anyone who cared and especially to those who cared enough to post!

(I wanted to name her Freddy -- my mom had a cat named Alfred she talks about as a kid - its a family name - and the vet is a Kruger (not sure on spelling)

But that got shot down so I went with Franny. Lol it was going to be kittyface as that is what it responded to but I couldn't go to the vet with a "fluffy and a kitty face" haha seems to lazy. (It is Philuffuly Wuffala) --- Fluffy is what he responded to so we kept the name. Took us a winter - maybe two to get him inside so changing the name felt wrong!

The odd s very slim his would happen 'notsmokeypot42088' a story very fameliar.
But you must be equipped with the eyes of love, and i am no hippy .

When still in my place i grew up, Suburb s of R_dam, lot s of Cats. One of my many adopted friend s used to have grease on it s fur ? Was explained when it seemed to scroll in the hood of a just used car. For the residual warmth ! We be worried as that animal kept doing it. Hope it never ended bad.
[allergy for Cat s prohibited me getting a Cat]

When i was about 30 or so i lived near the centre of R_dam, old neighbourhood.
Lot s a abaddoned semi wild cats roamed, abandoned by former owners ?
We got a house with garden and a semi 'wild'. More like well adapted free Cat,
knowing the trick s of live, she was a veteran. This POES had a got a good retirement plan.

We adopted her as was a garden Cat, she was taken care by us and our neighbour Miep her husband had a cool name he was Italian, both real nice people. The old inhabitants that still remained, we we the new shift.

For POES i build a better home isolated from the floor with STROO [dried grain stalkes ?] Gave top food but she had plan B and C. Never relied on us. When she got about 21 and 1/ 2 by estimate.

She started showing old age rapid and died a peaceful death by a vet s injection.
She was running on E, had her last meal Tuna from a can. Called a vetn which came to our house and she was gone in a flash. , we shed a tear or more.

You are good i knew you picked up wannabe rappers, along way. This story was so close to what you wrote. Been on my tongue a while. Gonna add some more like those encounters described with the Eagle and the Arrow.

Ever crossed path s with Foxes ? You must have gotten gifted:


Ua Mau Ke Akua Aina/ The Spirit of the Land is Preserved in Righteousness

 

[notsmokeymcpot42088]

So my older boy is doing Alot better after 3 weeks of antibiotics, has an apt on the 24th --- his breathing hasn't completely cleared. Probably still a bit of pneumonia -- hopefully no longer infected. People live through pneumonia?

Than the other larger problem is his oversized (literally) heart has congestive heart disease which will cause things like pneumonia....

24th he has an apt and we shall either have a great or a horrid thanksgiving

POSITIVE -- I don't know if I have seen him as happy as he is playing with the kitten ever. When we rescued him his brother was 20 in human years and diabetic so he wasn't much for games --- these two chase each other around the house.

Normally Id be bothered the cat isn't sleeping in my bed but I can tell he looks forward to me going to sleep so him and the kitten can tear up the house.

She is doing just great and couldn't be happier inside with food and people and kitty friend. (She ate a chunk of Benadryl off the floor and it was a long 8 hours) -- house was not kitten proofed when she got in. Our older boy almost eats like a dog, he licks everything before putting it in his mouth --- this one would eat rocks if they were kibble sized and didn't happen to chew em lol

 

[yubacity]

Sent mu wife for blueberry from Tesco for pancake while she was gone I hung myself from thr door with my belt something my wife she felt weird she kept thinking dip don't like pancake she turned around came straight home I was gone she did what she had to saved my life kind of changed my life really i started going to mass with her again . I'm still a functioning junkie but i believe now. Wash a atheist since early childhood was born into Sikh faith

 

[yubacity]

So many close calls falling asleep while driving my semi near sacraments on 99 went across all the lanes I been awake days on crank I could have killed some one the stroke while having a blast and the triple bypass afterwards . Through all that my poor wife would pray the rosary just pray for me the two failed suicides
I was sent this music video a little while ago it's some Canadian choir singing ave Maria just made me I used to moan around xmas time having to go mass with wife she never stopped praying for me 35 years nearly . I enjoy going to mass it's changed me I don't cheat no more I'm more tolerant of people I'm not blaming a God for putting me with a dad who should never been allowed boys

 

[streaM Freak]

Yeah sometimes I have pretty synchronous things happen.

For example this one older lady about 60 maybe? I took off for the weekend when I had a job I hated and basically just backpacked around town and was smoking on this eighth.

Well I was in an outdoor train station smoking on the end of the platform. She walked right over to me as if on a mission and asked if I was suicidal I said no. Then we talked for about an hour and she asked for my number then walked away. She then called my name and put a can of Pepsi on a bench for me.

I've seen her a lot since then. I blocked her number only because I was overwhelmed with her proposal of me helping talk to her boss to stop the destruction of a building where homeless kids were. I felt it was a huge responsibility and didn't want to get involved.

See her all around sometimes.

Well about 5 months ago, I was stoned again walking a bit further from home, and I saw her walking towards me. She asked if I had a piece of paper because she had to write someone a note. I did have one.. in my backpack, and I let her write on a binder I had to. I asked if she minded I smoke a joint she said no.

The most interesting thing though, was that most recent day before she asked for the paper, she told me that she was really happy to know that "I wrote about the well-being of the world" or something to that affect. So she either somehow knew I wrote to the state governor. I didn't ask how she knew. I just said that I hope someone in power can help out, and she gave me a confused look, almost if thinking "well, why don't you just do it yourself".

Sometimes I've seen her in stores with her back toward me as if not wanting to be seen. And when I see her she usually doesn't flinch, as if we both are not acknowledging.

But the two times we talked, she was so engaging, empathetic, and seemingly knew a lot more about me than I thought.

Maybe she works for the government and that's how she knew? I don't know. But both times I was stoned too - maybe I gave off a welcoming or at peace vibe that welcomed her to speak with me.

I don't know, maybe nothing, but I like to think of her as sort of a guardian who believes in me. And wants me to do something about the world. And knows I can.

 

[notsmokeymcpot42088]

That welcoming at peace vibe I tend to give off has led to more hypothetical problems ---- not saying anything for or against that lady-- the lack of context is mysterious.

 

[streaM Freak]

That welcoming at peace vibe I tend to give off has led to more hypothetical problems ---- not saying anything for or against that lady-- the lack of context is mysterious.

What do you mean? I feel like usually when I am on a smoking binge or times when I was in my teens just looking for a change of view I'd mostly feel good things which is why I haven't stopped, I think it's because it's grounding and sometimes I need grounding.

Yeah idk the more I think about it the more I think she's just a smart lady who has a lot to say and lives close.

I think the fact that she pops up more when I stoned (actually the two times I left home to go on extended walks with my weed) is the part that, in my mind, made it feel beyond normal

 

[notsmokeymcpot42088]

I mostly do feel good things (which is why I continue) -- I do give off that "Go ahead and tell me about yourself" type of vibe and being buzzed (I have been informed) makes you over share a bit yourself.

Probably just someone who's daily path intersects with yours.

The problems usually come when you don't limit things to a passing conversation and they somehow become a part of your day/life.

I had one guy I saw at Walmart than the grocery store than a third place in a row and he only knew me by my fb name. (Which isn't even close or a nickname or anything) That was iffy.

There are lots of stories -- "Be weary of strangers" is what it boils down to though.

You wanna be really reductionist "Every time you talk to someone it is transactionary" -- the less I believe in humans the more I believe that one.

 

[Deleted member 554582]

When my prayers have been heard..,it happens many,many times,when after a hard done job look at the results and feel satisfaction....and the most important-when I look at my daughter.....well my life is not for nothing I feel that...good,good job done...feel good indeed about this.....and grateful....and believer

 

[kris66]

I just remembered this story and thought it would fit well here.

My mother always told this story and would say people she told never believed her.

She lived in a rural area as a child and one night after a freshly fallen snow her father woke her up in the middle of the night and told her to go look out the window. There was a large circle of rabbits playing games! She never told the details of the game but some were standing on their hind legs and they were in a perfect circle.

She did some research later in life and did find a few stories of others who have witnessed it. The stories she found were similar in that it was at night after a new snow.

 

[notsmokeymcpot42088]

^Very interesting!!

I once pet a deer (I was about 3) that was a tough sell *Yes I was being held up by a parent if you are wondering about height* lol

There is something about nature. When I was a teenager I believed in "Chasing rabbits" literally --- be damned if one night we didn't chase a rabbit to a beach full of naked chicks who we happened to know. (Nothing interesting happened lol well we saw em naked and skinny dipped -- which at that age was pretty cool beans.

Not that these two stories compare AT ALL lol just spitting thoughts

 

[EPL1]

So many close calls falling asleep while driving my semi near sacraments on 99 went across all the lanes I been awake days on crank I could have killed some one the stroke while having a blast and the triple bypass afterwards . Through all that my poor wife would pray the rosary just pray for me the two failed suicides
I was sent this music video a little while ago it's some Canadian choir singing ave Maria just made me I used to moan around xmas time having to go mass with wife she never stopped praying for me 35 years nearly . I enjoy going to mass it's changed me I don't cheat no more I'm more tolerant of people I'm not blaming a God for putting me with a dad who should never been allowed boys

Beautiful. I love to hear it. my dear friend. I will continue to pray for you.

Ash.

 

[vision conquest]

This is a video from a podcast called uncommon knowledge, unfortunately it is only one part of a two part discussion and as I can't seem to work out where the second part is I am just posting this part.
If anyone is interested I am sure you would be able to find the second part without much trouble.

Basically it is three of the world's foremost intellectuals in maths, chemistry and from memory geology debating as to whether the evidence of modern science is supporting darwins theory or pointing to intelligent design.

I won't ruin it for those that are interested as it is seriously interesting.