The only way is to do it

I'll follow the route bump by bump.
I'm interested in the dissociatives world but it's totally new for me, so that's why I'm asking and collecting impressions by other people.
More comments are very welcome.
the first time i used ketamine it scared me quite a bit, but only because my expectations were all skewed. i only did a small line while seated, listening to some music in my headphones. for some reason i thought it would pull me "inwards", like a dmt trip, allowing me to focus more on the music, but i can only describe it as quite the opposite, dropping "outwards". the music became very distant and i felt an immediate loss of control. i felt an incredible urge to lie down, but in some attempt to "shake it off" i stood up and tried to get a glass of water. it was about 10 feet and the longest walk of my life. i returned to the table i was sitting at, put my head down and came to terms with the drug and its effects over a period of 20 minutes or so, feeling better by the time it was over.
having faced the beast, i decide to try the same dose plus a bit more in a better environment. slow, low music, lights off. bed at the ready. i snorted a fat bump in each nostril, let the drip hit, felt the "dropping out" and laid back for what would be a much more enjoyable experience. i relinquished all control, tried to literally think of nothing, and simply floated into space for 30 minutes or so. nothing life-changing or shocking. just very serene, sort of like being immediately plopped into the psychedelic "loop" without having to go through all of the other emotions to get there. just letting the universe have its way with me.
i've heard too many stories of people who need to rail 200 mg, 300 mg, half gram lines in order to get some crazy life altering shit where an alien priestess sucks you off while you shoplift in hell or some shit. i've never been there and don't really plan to. i like using k at the tail end of an acid trip, or to come down from a stimulant binge. i've even read a few MAPS articles that allude to ketamine as a possible treatment for acute depression, something i have used K for with great success. i'm still at a point where i can find my way into "the loop" with about 75 mgs. i don't use it with alcohol, opiates or benzos, and i prefer to be alone. it's not a social drug for me at all. quite the opposite. K is something i indulge in when i want to forget even myself for a bit
