just been dumped

[Shambles]

Is it possible that even though she broke up with me, she could find it harder to get over?

I've often wondered this and mostly hoped it is indeed the case. I've never actually dumped anybody and most previous relationships ended on pretty friendly terms (considering) but have had one or two vicious dumpings in the past where I sincerely hope they suffered as a result

I'm sure it's entirely possible, yes. I've often been the (platonic... well... mostly) shoulder to cry on dealing with gals who've recently dumped their fellas and it does seem to be the case sometimes.

 

[opiaterock]

Serious question.

I know of no relationship that has worked which has re-ignited after a breakup.

Anyone know of anyone that has? Broken up, got back together, and not broken up again (or at least, not in the process of)?

I bn broke up with the love of my life for the past 6 years ...so I hope your wrong - we do get on really good still and nearly ended up with her recently but she was drunk so didn't take advantage would have been different if she'd been sober

An old friend from college ditched her boyfriend around age 20 because "it wasn't going anywhere", then they got back together around age 28 and got married and had a baby. They seem pretty settled, but I guess that's an unusual case as there was a big time apart.

Sound like the perfect ending for me and the girl I referred to above... but not gonna be hung up on her I have had 3 relationships since but she's the one I still love but no more I need to cut her off totally I am thinking now (she's foreign and lives abroad so not like I see her much maybe once a year but we take a lot)

 

[opiaterock]

I've often wondered this and mostly hoped it is indeed the case. I've never actually dumped anybody and most previous relationships ended on pretty friendly terms (considering) but have had one or two vicious dumpings in the past where I sincerely hope they suffered as a result

I'm sure it's entirely possible, yes. I've often been the (platonic... well... mostly) shoulder to cry on dealing with gals who've recently dumped their fellas and it does seem to be the case sometimes.

Ya that's definitely the case..see my post above (just seen yours now).. I broke up with her and while she may have had the harder time initially like for a couple months she's had much healthier relationships since whereas I've had fucked up ones cus I compare them all to her

 

[opiaterock]

Not only has none of my relationships ignited after they were over, they all directly resulted in my ex-partner not being even a friend of mine. Most of the time this is desirable, but once especially might have been nice.

I only know of one relationship that reignited and it did so after a gap of twenty years. Not only that, it resulted in a mate of mine, who was in a 19 year loving relationship with teenage child to bring up, relocating to Toronto out of nowhere. He's back in Lonoon now but the relationship is still together.

Weird true postscript. The woman he left, to go back to his old flame, won the lottery shortly after with her new boyfriend. And several others in a syndicate. But they won the jackpot and got £100k each.

Haha class story man I guess they were both kinda happy in the end then?..

And hexagram you should try to be friends with her if you get on with her as a person, I'm still on speaking terms with most of my ex's (all but one) although only one of them I get on REALLY well with, that's the one who I am still hung up on, but even if I never get back with her I'lll always be mates with her she's just a top person and great laugh

 

[hexagram]

feeling a bit shit now for the way I spoke at the start of the thread.

was a bit of a shock and I was full of bitterness and anger, so I said some shallow things. I never actually cared that I rejected the 'better looking' girls, I was happy to be with her, even over the summer, I liked her, I didn't care about those other girls. I guess my ego took a bruising so I felt the need to say shit like that. Didn't mean it though. Thanks for all the help anyway guys.

 

[Mental Kenny]

feeling a bit shit now for the way I spoke at the start of the thread.

was a bit of a shock and I was full of bitterness and anger, so I said some shallow things. I never actually cared that I rejected the 'better looking' girls, I was happy to be with her, even over the summer, I liked her, I didn't care about those other girls. I guess my ego took a bruising so I felt the need to say shit like that. Didn't mean it though. Thanks for all the help anyway guys.

 

[hexagram]

hahaha true but I do mean it.

to be fair on Tuesday night I was with bunch of people who were all on md and I wasn't. And I realized how annoying people on MD can be when your only drunk haha, it's like if one more person tells me they love me or try to give me a hug......

 

[Shambles]

Ha! I'd never thought of it like that. Have never been around drunk (and only drunk) people when I've been on MDMA and have certainly never been drunk (and drunk only) when drugs were in the vicinity. I suppose it must get annoying... but if I were in that situation I'd mostly be annoyed that I clearly had the crap drugs cos those annoying smiley folk with the saucer-eyes don't half seem to be enjoying themselves more

 

[junegreenjeans]

seemingly out of nowhere. Fuck it man.

Last time I saw her I had a go at her about pointless shit because I was on a brutal comedown and hadn't slept for days. It took me a few days to realize that I don't actually give a shit about anything I thought I did at the time, but before I could even show her that she fucking dumps me. Waited all summer and turned down better looking girls than her for this shit. Fuck it all. Gonna get majorly drunk and eat some etiz now.

and I know this htread is probably pointless and will get trolled to shit but i'm already drunk and I don't care.

Hey Hexa
Sounds a little superficial if your going for looks only. Word to wise, lots of good people out there, lots. good luck

 

[swampdragon]

hm, spoke to her and she seems more bothered about it than me. Weird. Is it possible that even though she broke up with me, she could find it harder to get over?

Yep. Although in my case it's always been a case of feeling bad for upsetting them, rather than any sort of regret.

to be fair on Tuesday night I was with bunch of people who were all on md and I wasn't. And I realized how annoying people on MD can be when your only drunk haha, it's like if one more person tells me they love me or try to give me a hug......

Heheh, mm. I really annoy my fella in clubs, when he's just on beer and I'm twatted and stroking strangers. %)

 

[Shambles]

Yep. Although in my case it's always been a case of feeling bad for upsetting them, rather than any sort of regret.

That would fit with my own shoulder-sobbery experience pretty much. Have definitely heard serious regret expressed but this has more or less always been in relation to serious arseholes with actual doormat spouses. The feeling bad for upsetting them/us thing is more common (ime and all that) which doesn't sound so satisfying for those of those who still sting a bit from previous brutality. "They" (very limited sample size obviously) do seem to at least be aware of how much hurt they've caused, I find, but certainly wouldn't consider going back to the way things were if they'd go back at all. It generally seems like it's more a case of not seeing any other options that are gonna hurt less. Either way, you're getting dumped sooner or later.

Despite a few pretty heavy drummings on the dumpee front for me (and one absolute world-beater that was so extreme I actually (grudgingly) admire the audacity of it now it's so long gone - talk about balls...) I'm very glad for the abundant girly chats I've gotten to be a part of cos it puts things in perspective. Yes, "they" make "us" hurt and "they" make "us" cry and "they" make "us" feel "we" never will be good enough... but it's very rarely seemed malicious to me when I've seen both sides of a story properly. Wimminz just seem to be better at knowing far sooner when a thing is simply not gonna work out than menfolk seem to for the most part. It does hurt. But they're usually right all the same

 

[knock]

I dumped my ex several times and we got back together several times before she started agreeing with me that we should split, by which point I had come round to the idea of stopping the dumping stuff.

She would get incredibly upset and it absolutely fucking killed me to see it, leading to immediate apologies and "I didn't mean it".

And in the long run, I didn't mean it. But by that point, I'd set fire to lots of bridges

 

[Raasyvibe]

hm, spoke to her and she seems more bothered about it than me. Weird. Is it possible that even though she broke up with me, she could find it harder to get over?

Most likely she's deliberately telling you what you wanna here, to acquit herself of the guilt.

Wrong to speculate on a few details though, of course...

 

[hexagram]

starting to think a friendship might not work.

we were friends with benefits before we were official, but there's always, always been a sexual element to us. It's not like we were friends for a bit, then became fwb, then had a relationship. We had sex the night we met, we liked each other instantly and started acting on those feelings instantly. We don't have any mutual friends either. I think if we tried to be friends we'd either slip back into a fwb situation or we'd just be at each others throats the whole time.

Idk, we'll see. She's still not tried speak to me, even though she knows I'm doing fine and am over it, that I just want to re-establish a friendship. That's the thing, I already feel kind of distant from her now, and I already feel like it would be weird and a different to see her again (I know it'll be a bit different but you know what I mean, I still want that old connection to be there and not to feel awkward and weird around her, which I will do if she leaves it too much longer.)

 

[Mental Kenny]

^ Fucking hell mate seriously? Are you still thinking about her?

I don't mean to offend, but seriously get over her, you made that thread over a week ago, it's not like you just divorced your wife of twenty years and you're stuck in a custodial battle for your children and you're looking at losing your life savings for alimony.

Have some self-respect, the mere fact you're still thinking about ways to keep seeing her is pathetic, it makes you seem needy, weak and like a beta orbiter. She's over you, she left you, fucking deal with.

Either enjoy life on your own like a normal, self-respecting bloke should do or if you're too insecure to be alone find somebody else, plenty more nubile females about, no need to stress over one particular one.

Anyway, stay strong

 

[hexagram]

am over it man, well to an extent, like I said the biggest shame to me is the loss of the friendship. Was just sort of pointlessly pondering out loud to be honest, didn't mean to go on.

 

[kingme]

hehe. relax man
i think its only in time that you will be able to tell if you can remain friends or not.... its too soon to jump back on the friends wagon.

some things are meant to last while others not.