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January's Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread, v oh sh!t it's already January

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Thanks dude. Unfortunately I ended up using today. 3 days clean this time. Been really struggling. Dodged my appointment to get back on methadone this morning because I cold turkey-ed myself off it and have been free of 'done's liquid handcuffs for 4 or 5 months now. Terrified of getting back on it but can't keep living this way. Really struggling.
 
Man I really want to get high.. I feel so trapped here in my house unable to find a job. I just want something to break up the monotony of it all.
 
25 days not drinking. I really could use one tho but I won't be drinking with yall today
 
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck cravings. Seems so hopeless sometimes.
 
Man... *fuck* mAmp. I have no clue how I got away with it as long as I did that first go-around, b/c it has ravaged me in record time this go-round.
 
It chews alot of people up man, I know I was pretty hollow toward the end of my use.
 
Tomorrow I haven’t been using opiates for two weeks and no cravings. WTF!? I have only smoked some cannabis but not daily.

Have I actually dealt with the issues that made use opiates in the first place as I don’t have any back pains after going to a gym for 6 months and losing 66pounds of weight as well as getting my life back in the right track and being in love with my SO?

I don’t currently need to lose plenty of hours per day as I did when I abused opiates as those seemed the only way to achieve something in my then empty life.

Now if I could only stop using the rest as I have been using MDMA for every few months as well as Lyrica or benzos once in a few weeks and cannabis few times a week but never daily and haven’t been using those after going to last detox.

Am I actually going to be truly sober for real?
 
Have you ever listened to Children of Bodom?

It is finnish death metal band that I like very much.

Try Hatebreeder album at first if you got spotify or similar.
 
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