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I've quit, but why..

How much effort and energy do you put into:

  1. Drinking, using drugs, partying and the like?
  2. Engaging in wholly healthy pursuits, like exercise, medical/psychiatric treatmeant/auxillary treatment (NA/NA, self help groups, etc) and other self care related behaviors?
The smaller the ratio of 1:2, the better off you will be. Simple concept, no? ;)

What ever you do, keep trying, because without effort you will never get where you want to go. That is the real sage wisdom shit right there :)

Good luck and best wishes OP <3
 
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Your situation is pretty similar to my former drinking habit, though I'm only 6ft 170lbs and loved to drink 7% alc craft brew six packs. I was really disgusted with myself though until i finally discovered what my trigger for drinking was: caffeine. I had been a fiend even roasting my own green coffee beans but with my latent anxiety the coffee made me want to drink like clockwork. Perhaps that's something worth checking out.

A thing you absolutely mustnt do is switch over to opiods because you think they're ' healthier'. I did so and am still in WD two weeks after CT. will probably have PAWS for another year if chills on day 13 are any indication. So just try out absolute sobriety and treat yourself with great experiences. Find a cool hobby, how about flying an ultra light? I hear that's pretty popular up there. Or just book a flight to somewhere tropical and go backpacking, that's my personal motivation (going to costa rica on june 4, can't wait!!). Planning for something like that will also keep you busy.
 
I appreciate all of the feedback. I've just completed 7 days. I don't crave it or anything, I just feel so bored at night after work. Feels like I'm just killing time til tomorrow when I can say it's been a day more than it's been the last. I would never switch to a different drug, I'm not a drug person at all besides benzos, which I don't abuse. I don't really have the motivation yet to try get into a hobby or something, i usually feel extremely tired at the end of the day. Perhaps it's because my brain has been deprived of solid REM sleep and needs to catch up? Not sure. I'm not happy when I'm drinking, and not happy when I'm not lol.
 
Just try and focus your efforts at being kinder and gentler to yourself. The more energy you put into that, the more you will find success.
 
churchpk said:
I appreciate all of the feedback. I've just completed 7 days. I don't crave it or anything, I just feel so bored at night after work. Feels like I'm just killing time til tomorrow when I can say it's been a day more than it's been the last. I would never switch to a different drug, I'm not a drug person at all besides benzos, which I don't abuse. I don't really have the motivation yet to try get into a hobby or something, i usually feel extremely tired at the end of the day. Perhaps it's because my brain has been deprived of solid REM sleep and needs to catch up? Not sure. I'm not happy when I'm drinking, and not happy when I'm not lol.
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I know that boredom and I hate that boredom. Fortunately, it goes away eventually. I didn't have many friends, so I ended up friending a couple hundred people on Facebook that I went to high school with so I could learn from them. Ironically, they didn't have very exciting lives either - a lot of down time at the house for the most part outside of special occasions lol. From them I found that scheduling events at night helps. I make sure I walk for an hour at night at the very least. I also cook dinner. I love to eat and cooking it myself takes time. It also seems more gratifying. I also took up ballroom dancing, so I have lessons on Monday night and a dance on Saturday nights. In early recovery nights were the hardest, and I had no clue what healthy adults did to fill their time in the evenings. I don't watch tv so that's out.

I also found that having routines helps the endeavor of getting healthy. I try to wake up and go to bed at the same time. I have a morning routine and an evening routine. Because I am not a morning person, I take 30 minutes to an hour every night to get stuff ready for the morning - I make sure I know what I'm going to wear, that everything is laid out and ready. I get all of the items I need to get ready laid out for the morning (i.e. toothpaste, hair dryer, etc). I make sure the dishes are done, the coffee pot is prepped and the timer is set so it's brewing when I wake up - things like that. Nightly routines help you be ready for the next day, they also help to remove the element of surprise so you don't have something unexpected to deal with in the morning when you may not have extra time, and they also consume time so you have something to focus on and not be bored. Personally, I like being organized and ready as it helps to keep my anxiety down.

I realize my suggestions are nothing fun and exciting, but a large portion of life is fairly routine and mundane. It comes down to how you perceive it. I am fortunate to live on a golf course in a beach town, so my evening walks are at one of those locations. While it's just a walk, the scenery is beautiful and you never know what you're going to see. Recently, the geese have had babies so I run into mom and dad goose with their clutch of 10-15 babies. I have also run into alligators, we have several 5 foot gators by the house, and the neighborhood has a 12 footer that makes its rounds frequently. I also find golf balls which is nice so I can try the various types and see what I like without having to buy them first. I found 58 this evening. These unexpected incidentals are exciting, and I look forward to my walks as I never know what I will see or find.
 
toothpastedog said:
How much effort and energy do you put into:

  1. Drinking, using drugs, partying and the like?
  2. Engaging in wholly healthy pursuits, like exercise, medical/psychiatric treatmeant/auxillary treatment (NA/NA, self help groups, etc) and other self care related behaviors?
The smaller the ratio of 1:2, the better off you will be. Simple concept, no? ;)

What ever you do, keep trying, because without effort you will never get where you want to go. That is the real sage wisdom shit right there :)

Good luck and best wishes OP <3
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This is such a good idea... It is true. If one engages in pursuits that are fulfilling, life will get better
 
Update; Day 15 killed. Other than a count of days nothing mentally has changed, I've gotten into some routines, like going to the gym etc. However every night it's still the same boredom feeling, in fact I feel like depression has gotten amplified at night instead as the days go by. Idk, I'll keep refraining still.
 
That listlessness is a trademark of the anxiety of quitting opiates. I highly suggest getting a hobby that keeps your hands busy. I paint these little pots but I havent in a while. Find something to fill every moment even if it is just reading a book, or chatting on the phone. Boredom has a habit of driving people back to opiates.
 
toothpastedog said:
Nice one on the exercise! That is really awesome. Have you ever considered seeking psychiatric help for your depression?
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I have, and was diagnosed with dysthymia. I've been on Prozac, and Effexor XR in the past, but I'm not sacrificing the sexual dysfunction that comes along with SSRI's. I've also tapered myself down from 1mg Clonazepam to 0.5 qAM. I suppose doing this will give me GABA receptors a break and maybe bring function back to my somewhat impaired memory and cognitive/motor skills.
 
Wow, you really are working hard to get healthier! I hope you can spend the time to praftuce being grateful for all the hard work you have done and are doing to better yourself, taking the time to begin learning to cultivate a little self compassion. Please remember to be kind and gentle with yourself whenever you are unsure of what is the right choice. When faced with a fork in your path, try taking the gentler, kinder route. You will be amazed with how much it helps you recovery, heal andcbegin transforming into the person you so desire (well, and realizing that you are "good enough" just as you are).
 
Still going strong! I don't get how I can just suddenly start taking 0.5mg clonazepam from 1mg q day and not feel any withdrawal at all? I though you had to slowly taper down or you will feel SOMETHING. I'ts been about a week now with half the dosage and I don't notice a difference and I've taken 1mg a day for like 5 years straight.
 
That sounds like a good thing though! I remember detoxing from buprenorphine, I mean I totally fucked that up. I had been basically misusing the shit out of it any chance I got for a year and a half, then I go and jump off at 4mg with no comfort meds other than a little temazepam for a few days and experienced almost no withdrawal other than some RLS for about a month and a half. And even the RLS wasn't that bad. A dude I was talking to at a Refuge meeting tonight was telling me about the hell he experienced coming off it after taper down to 1mg a day for a month. Everyone is different I guess.
 
Yes boredom sucks. I'm so thankful i have a family that drags my sorry ass along for things! If that's not an option for you, perhaps you could work two jobs at once? Youd be busy all the time and tired every night, plus earn extra money. Kind of the ideal situation, no?
 
Haha, I can barely make it to the current job I have. Never had a job most of my life cause I was always in school which I prefer over working any day. Unfortunately my family is split and most of them live in USA now, and I won't have my green card to live in USA for a few more years. Sucks that moving to USA will mean much cheaper alcohol and open later than 9 pm everyday haha.
 
Keep up the good work church.

Care to elaborate on what you have changed that is helping you to stay sober and giving you the drive to taper down your clonazepam? I always really like hearing what others do to effect changes on their life.
 
manboychef said:
Keep up the good work church.

Care to elaborate on what you have changed that is helping you to stay sober and giving you the drive to taper down your clonazepam? I always really like hearing what others do to effect changes on their life.
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Well, as far as the drinking goes, I have to say that it's just will power. I haven't been working out or engaging in any other activities other than working and coming home and just being at home all night. I guess I just don't want dementia or korsakoff syndrome THAT much haha. For the clonazepam, I don't really know the point of quitting it besides the memory issues. I'm supposed to be on 3+ mg of it per day to stop my shaking hands. I just don't think it's good in the long run for my brain, so i'm just suffering with the shaky hands to prevent long term brain damage I guess.
 
Update: So today is day 72, and I am going to drink a small amount. Yes, it COULD be a bad idea, but I really don't want to have to go my whole life without being able to drink socially. I have been completely off Clonazepam now for a month, and have had no withdrawal from either substances whatsoever. My drink of choice shall be a 12% white wine, and with having no tolerance like this, (I'm assuming) it should feel completely different as it did when I was in the thick of the addiction. I believe that with this amount of will power, I can safely drink a couple times a month if I really put an effort into it. If anyone has any advice or experience with what I'm doing, please let me know!
 
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