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Heroin I've now genuinely lost count..

TheUltimateFixx said:
Well I went and got one of those 'one hit kits', which as the name implies is a single-use set of all you need, ie a syringe, sterile cooker, citric, alcowipe, gauze swab. Got everything except for the magic ingredient. I keep looking at the stuff and practically fondling that damn syringe then putting it all away again. No idea why I'm cockteasing myself like this ; I'm not normally a masochist. XD

... Am I trying to see if I can take the temptation and resist? Trying to confront said temptation by handling the associated paraphernalia over and over as a way to desensitize myself to the emotional trigger? Or just inching my way up to using while not admitting to myself that that's what I'm doing? I couldn't honestly even tell you. Just that it feels fucked up.
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I’d say almost certainly that you’re keeping the door open to doing it again. I had a similar train of thought that led to doing gear so that I could take the ‘rose tinted glasses’ off. That began of the worst run of use I’ve had. Led to me losing my job and my flat. Shit times overall.
 
skipjames said:
Even down here drug users came in every shape and form, he might have noticed you re not a deranged crackhead that will kill someone in order to buy a rock but a productive and generally law abiding member of society that every now and again uses opioids, that the aforementioned society has decided that are evil while for instance poisons like booze and cigarettes are sold freely. Anyway, you really should have a chat, better than keeping this thing inside of you that can only lead to resentment Tell him que " vc conhece um cara que usa opioides faz 18 anos e é professor universitario, nunca teve uma overdose e nunca rubou pra ninguem, e mora no Brasil faz 10 anos mas so foi assaltado uma vez e olha so, foi pela policia, alias que estava chapada de po´. E claro que seria melhor que ninguem usasse, mas em caso ele use seria bom vc saber , assim pode intervir se dar merda. Pior que cachaça não é'
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HE KNOWS all that. Knows that not all users are automatically addicts, knows many are functional etc etc.

He just can't tolerate ME doing that shit. And it was my own behaviour that directly pushed him past his ability to accept any use on my part.
 
LucidSDreamr said:
sounds like they aren’t worrying about the future when it comes to addiction. Sounds like they are living in the moment, or in the present day you could say. One could call it one day. Today.
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Ok, when you're GENUINELY over some obsessive relationship with your ex, do you think about how a text or smile from that person could randomly 'trigger' you to get back with them? When you've quit a job that was damaging to your health, do you fret every day that you might end up wanting to sign up for the same destructive contract -?

.. What I'm saying is people really get PAST their addictions and their attachment to their DOC. To the point where it doesn't matter, or tempt them, or influence them in the slightest anymore. But the 'one day at a time' ideology specifically teaches people that this can never happen. That you will ALWAYS be an addict. That you can never move past your addiction. That the very best you can hope for is desperately hanging on for 'one more day'. It's an insanely self-sabotaging mantra.
 
daturetard said:
I understand the second part but could you rephrase the first? What should be enough, the line between herbs and drugs? Sorry.
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When you see the picture next to The Ultimate Fix; it is an opium poppy that has flowered. Opium is 10% morphine, and morphine along with another key ingredients( for lack of a better term) in the manufacture of Heroin. Also 2% codeine and thebaine(?) Is used in the manufacturing of oxycodone and hydrocodone. The Opium poppy can be used by itself for the opium or used to make heroin, or other narcotics.
 
TheUltimateFixx said:
I reckon it's good-bye to my opium too. What a criminal waste of a beautiful and ridiculously expensive genuine Chinese opium pipe. XD

... Yes and I crave a nice fix. It's IV or nothing for me. Had a predictable shooting-up dream last night that was so realistic I could almost taste the stuff 🤤
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Don't people in Europe only smoke H; and that it requires citric acid or something similar to shoot it.😝 Sorry I have become more familiar with emojis
 
Jnowhere said:
When you see the picture next to The Ultimate Fix; it is an opium poppy that has flowered. Opium is 10% morphine, and morphine along with another key ingredients( for lack of a better term) in the manufacture of Heroin. Also 2% codeine and thebaine(?) Is used in the manufacturing of oxycodone and hydrocodone. The Opium poppy can be used by itself for the opium or used to make heroin, or other narcotics.
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Haha I like how specific and technical you are here. To be honest I didn't put half as much thought into creating my profile pic as you seem to be doing analysing it. Xd
 
Jnowhere said:
Don't people in Europe only smoke H; and that it requires citric acid or something similar to shoot it.😝 Sorry I have become more familiar with emojis
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NOOOO?!

Sure lots of users smoke, but many more inject. Generally we get #3 over here which you can use either way but yes needs citric and cooking up to shoot.
 
TheUltimateFixx said:
Ok, when you're GENUINELY over some obsessive relationship with your ex, do you think about how a text or smile from that person could randomly 'trigger' you to get back with them? When you've quit a job that was damaging to your health, do you fret every day that you might end up wanting to sign up for the same destructive contract -?

.. What I'm saying is people really get PAST their addictions and their attachment to their DOC. To the point where it doesn't matter, or tempt them, or influence them in the slightest anymore. But the 'one day at a time' ideology specifically teaches people that this can never happen. That you will ALWAYS be an addict. That you can never move past your addiction. That the very best you can hope for is desperately hanging on for 'one more day'. It's an insanely self-sabotaging mantra.
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The reason for that is so many relapses in NA and AA, two programs that I don't care for. Honestly if helps some fine.
I am the type to relapse and drink, even after being diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver and given a year to live without a transplant. No transplant, diagnosed in Dec 2015. I begged God for help and very shortly after, I became allergic, first get it down( beer is now virtually impossible for me, even vodka is easier to get down. With less than half a drink my body itches all over uncontrollably.
I now hate booze, beer and even a nice Chardonnay.
 
TheUltimateFixx said:
You explicitly said, 'don't users in Europe only smoke'?
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And it requires citric acid or something similar to shoot. I screwed up how I wrote it. I was too busy noticing some thing strange about one of the other members. Go to trigger warning: what's the deal with all A/C drama; in the lounge, to understand why I was half laughing when I wrote the post. And I did mention citric acid to shoot; poorly worded but I was laughing a someone's picture.
 
Jnowhere said:
And it requires citric acid or something similar to shoot. I screwed up how I wrote it. I was too busy noticing some thing strange about one of the other members. Go to trigger warning: what's the deal with all A/C drama; in the lounge, to understand why I was half laughing when I wrote the post. And I did mention citric acid to shoot; poorly worded but I was laughing a someone's picture.
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haha the Lounge is something else.
Xd
 
I just had a casual mate I've had no contact with for awhile recommend me a supplier with apparently REAL good shit...

... if that connect is as good as he says I might just fold.
 
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