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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Its gettin' bad

The 6 month marker is a HUGE step, especially after everything you have been through. This thread is top quality material, and I thank you for being so bluntly honest in your posts. It's a refreshing site to see. A lot of it took me back to places I have been and I can relate to the struggles an addiction like this brings. Debt, loss of respect for others and self, death and hopelessness are all things we are tired of putting on ourselves just to get high. Your head is above water now OverDone, keep swimming!

I wish you only the best in your continued journey for sobriety and happiness.
 
Congratulations OD!! We are all so proud of you. You've come a long way from the beginning of this thread, and then to make it to 6-months of total sobriety is amazing. Well done mate :) <3
 
OD, I've been lurking in this thread awhile now, and have already told you this in another thread, but your progress is absolutely commendable and so I'll call you WellDone again.

Congratulations on your clean time, man, and thank you for your contributions here. We all have a lot of respect for how far you have come.
 
Congrats OverDone. I don't post here much these days, but I gotta congratulate you on 6 months. Keep on trucking - don't let ideas of "Its been awhile I'll just smoke some weed" drag you down. BTDT, it doesn't work out for people like us ;p
 
Very inspiring thread! You dug yourself out of a deep hole, OverDone, and I hope (and know you will) continue on your path to mental and spiritual fulfillment. Good job!
 
Thanks guys. Yeah, I did some work to get clean but for some reason its difficult to accept kudos for it.

I'm thinking that it is very likely that I will be posting another positive update on August 22, 2010

To be honest, yeah some 12 Step folks have helped me A LOT but I've gotten greater, more open-minded support, empathy and compassion from people on BL

Thanks again, everyone
 
Damn that coke dealer is going to be pissed. Make sure he doesn't find out where you or your family or friends live man. That's scary.
 
wow!! big big congrats man.... =D

this was one of those threads that i followed from the beginning, so its absolutely amazing and inspiring to see the outcome.

applause!!!!
 
Well, I thought it would have been cool posting a positive update at the 1 year clean mark. That may not happen for another year.

At 9 months and 25 days clean I went out and got high. It wasn't spectacular and it cost me a lot. I'm sure the real payment plan will reveal itself shortly.

All I know is that I can accept these consequences because it was a decision I made. I own this.
 
Slip-ups happen. I had 10 months last year and relapsed - only intending on a couple of weeks, but it took me 7 months to get clean. I've got 14 days now (4 weeks off opiates and weed, 2 weeks off booze.)

The quicker you get back to whatever works for you to stay sober the better. (If that's meetings, hanging out with sober friends, exercise, meditation - whatever works for you.)

When you've been in as deep as we have, things get bad real fast. Life only gets worse. You have a lot better chance of having a great life sober than staying on drugs. At least for me, the good times are gone with drugs/alcohol. I wore them out/they've worn me out, whichever. But, I've had a taste of being sober, and it's a much better way for me now.

Good luck to you OverDone - don't beat yourself up too much. Do what you need to do to be well!
 
JayJohnson said:
When you've been in as deep as we have, things get bad real fast. Life only gets worse. You have a lot better chance of having a great life sober than staying on drugs. At least for me, the good times are gone with drugs/alcohol. I wore them out/they've worn me out, whichever. But, I've had a taste of being sober, and it's a much better way for me now.
Click to expand...

Agreed. The enjoyment has long since gone and no matter what, life clean is much better than a life of getting high
 
I don't think it works to try to be a tourist and visit being a drug addict like you used to be. I know it never worked for me. It always ended up being unsatisfying. To really recapture the excitement of heavy drug abuse, I'd have to plunge headlong back into the lifestyle, something I am not willing to do ever again in my life.
 
i admire you for being so honest. and not just to the board, but to yourself. it sounds like you have acceptance of the situation, and a bit of forgiveness left over for yourself, which is so necessary at this time.

im cheering you on to better and better days... stay strong... :)
 
Well, I haven't injected in 3 or 4 days and currently have around 19 hours clean. Not a lot but I'm taking it hour by hour. I sincerely believe I won't use today

The Plan? Scrape together 3 days in a row. If I fail that then I will go to detox or treatment. Make meetings and talk to people and hang with any of the many people that I am just realizing really care for me unselfishly

Time to man-up and get back on point

The beginning is the hardest but new never stays new so it'll pass

BL has been a HUGE part of self-realization and real support. Yeah, I'm a grateful dude
 
Just read through the whole post

Good on you OverDone mate you have come so far through thick and thin and you have done yourself really well.

One thing stood out to me in this post and that is your clean date... 22/08 the same day as my birthday
 
^thanks, g1zzl3! I made some HUGE fuck ups but I can accept them and move on. The way I see it at the moment is that I have it rather easy right now. The ONLY thing I care about doing and all I will do for a little is not use. Nothing else matters for the simple fact that if I use nothing else will matter anyway.

People have bad things to say about NA and I can understand why, truly. I'm pretty damn fortunate. I went to a meeting tonight in my big small little town where everyone knows each other in the meetings (if ya stick around for a bit). I am fortunate to have a HUGE crew that has selflessly stepped up to help me (offers of late night phone calls, a floor to crash on, offers to hang out and even an offer to go to treatment). All these things are nice but the genuine care that these folks are showing me is overwhelmingly pleasant to feel. (shit, one girl started bawling her eyes out when she walked in and saw me sitting in a chair she cried for a few minutes hugging me like crazy)

I have a new clean date now which is 09/23/10 but I REALLY value the symbolic nature of things and yes, knowing that a random stranger on an Internet board who just read my 'story' has a birthday the same day as my prior clean date means something somehow

I think this time around will be lengthy. Folks say that a 'grateful addict will never use'. Right now, I am OVERWHELMED with gratitude
 
amazin thread but the same story that most of us "hardcore" addicts would tell, at least your still honest with yourself mate.
dont give up givin up eh, hard as it is.
i'm just considering quittin again (15 years on h with extended coke/crack,weed, alcohol,benzo's and all the rest you get the picture)hence being here reading your thread.
at least you know you can do it, day at a time ,i know how easy it is to fall off, i always seem to think i can get away with JUST 1 BAG OF H after x amount of time clean, but it dont happen
you came hell of a long way mate ,no point punishing yourself for a relapse ya gotta try and pick yaself up.keep jackin that coke it'll destroy ya,that shit gets in ya head and dont let go. my mates had to lock me up in their farmhouse in middle of nowhere took my car keys and cash gave me few valis and god i thought i was gonna die 3g coke3g heroin iv minimum a day to nowt!!!!!!i'll tell ya now iwas straight in my sin bin lookin 4 missed hits and jackin them(gross eh)
soz r rantin on just had spliff, good luck mate you'll get there in the end(ya gotta believe so anyways)
R.;)
 
6 months clean today

Yeah, man! 182 days ago I was starving, broke and just plain fucked. Any money I had went to drugs/alcohol instead of my stomach. I was emaciated, arms scarred the fuck up and my pants were falling off me.

I feel generally ok with myself and am more responsible, trustworthy and people say I'm actually likeable. I also have an 88.60% in my college class that I'm taking (just took a midterm so I'm halfway through that) Go figure!

This being clean thing feels good, man. It ain't easy all the time but is definitely worth it

I'm proud of these physical changes I've made:

Before as a daily IV coke user:

NSFW:
after2.jpg

afterck.jpg


Me yesterday:

NSFW:
me303222011.jpg
 
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