Its gettin' bad

[theartofwar]

lookin swoled up OD, props brother. I wish you nothing but the best, I'm nearly at two weeks myself.

 

[OverDone]

congrats, taow!!!!!!!! Dude, you are making some huge strides and it truly does get easier as time passes

Remembering how I had gotten physically has got me looking at diet and exercise which have, in turn, helped with my mental and emotional health.

I'm glad I had taken pics when I was in my addiction. I have pics of my tracks, scars and bruises from back then. Now when I look at the locations that they are at I see healing.

The hard part is healing my character. I still have problems with 'me' and still don't consider myself a good person but, as in all things, if effort is applied towards change, results will be yielded

 

[User Name Here]

Congratulations, OD! You are doing such an amazing job! Six months clean isn't an easy feat so although I might not know you, I'm extremely proud of you as well as excited for your future as it's lookin' quite good if you keep this up (and I have faith that you will from the sound of your recent post).

It's also wonderful to see posts like this here at BL as so many people could really use a reminder that sobriety is indeed possible. People draw hope and strength from threads like this so thank you for sharing your success with everyone!

You're looking great. Keep up the wonderful work =)

 

[totach]

Hey OD,
Thanx for wishing me well in the checkin thread but i didnt wind up goin to rehab

I still have bin clean tho since i made that post which was like 10 days ago.

This was the first time i read this whole thread from post to post and all i can say is WOW what a rollercoaster.

I dont know if u remember but you wer the first person on bl to ever send me a PM and u wer so cool u wrote hey man if u ever need to just shoot the shit call me and u gave me ur #.

That was really cool of u man and i wish i took advantage of ur offer but after a while i told myself u prob forgot u even sent me that PM.

Point is your a really cool dude and i can tell u hav a heart of gold and i really wish you only the best in life.

I hope you keep it up man and keep checking in hopefully at the 1 year mark then 2 and 3 etc........

STAY UP!!!!!!!

 

[theartofwar]

congrats, taow!!!!!!!! Dude, you are making some huge strides and it truly does get easier as time passes

Remembering how I had gotten physically has got me looking at diet and exercise which have, in turn, helped with my mental and emotional health.

I'm glad I had taken pics when I was in my addiction. I have pics of my tracks, scars and bruises from back then. Now when I look at the locations that they are at I see healing.

The hard part is healing my character. I still have problems with 'me' and still don't consider myself a good person but, as in all things, if effort is applied towards change, results will be yielded

I feel you man I really do. I have pics from when I was in deep man , it's absurd. I'm glad to have a healthy knee again and will be doing a lift in oct right around my bday. Back to 3 a days soon !!

 

[Legerity]

Great man! I don't know you from before but it's clear to see you are working hard on making positive changes in your life.

Same to you taow, keep it up.

 

[OverDone]

Hey OD,
Thanx for wishing me well in the checkin thread but i didnt wind up goin to rehab

I still have bin clean tho since i made that post which was like 10 days ago.

This was the first time i read this whole thread from post to post and all i can say is WOW what a rollercoaster.

I dont know if u remember but you wer the first person on bl to ever send me a PM and u wer so cool u wrote hey man if u ever need to just shoot the shit call me and u gave me ur #.

That was really cool of u man and i wish i took advantage of ur offer but after a while i told myself u prob forgot u even sent me that PM.

Point is your a really cool dude and i can tell u hav a heart of gold and i really wish you only the best in life.

I hope you keep it up man and keep checking in hopefully at the 1 year mark then 2 and 3 etc........

STAY UP!!!!!!!

thanks, totach! (the offer is still there, man, if you ever feel like 'shootin' the shit'. Just PM me if you lost the number!)

Legerity - I'm glad to have made your acquaintance here in TDS :D

 

[Legerity]

Same to you OD

 

[Bojangles69]

Yeh legerity is a smart fuck I have said that before on here he really helps a lot of people.

I'm going to tell you what I do to get instant motivation in a situation like you described. As I'm in a much more minor version of your situation now. Basically I'm out of drugs and out of money, and need to go through a rut of making money while in wds so I can get back to normal, somewhat moderate my habit again and get back to my never ending taper which will soon end one of these days I promise the forum lol.

BUT, my point. We are really druggies by nature many of us. And we can fool ourselves and I noticed this really helps me. But I will tell myself "you're not stopping using, you're taking a break so you can stablize your life and get even more drugs than you had before". Like now I'm in wds, and am planning all sorts of sidejobs and working on sat & sundays too while still volunteering part time on thurs/fridays then working mon, tues, wed, sat and sunday lol. Its a nightmare when you're in wds but everyday I wake up I dream of huge amounts of opiates and what I'm going to do to get myself unbroke so I can get them. I usually find by the time I have money, I never really splurge in the first place. I genuinely just get enough to maintain my natural state of productivity and motivation. Opiates keep my motivated, and too much robs me of my motivation. While not having any at all kills my motivation, but dreaming/plotting how I'm gonna get more and KNOWING I'm gonna get more will motivated me in a dry spell.
Its likely not harm reduction but its something unconventional that I find helps me. Just dream about how you're going to treat yourself to a pile of coke larger than scarface after you get some money to pay your debts and a bit more to spend on yourself. Time passes, we go through wet spells and dry spells, like sucks when drugs are gone, gets good when we find them again, then gets even better when we genuinely want to be off them and are able to do so for long term.
Just the life of an addict I suppose.

 

[Asclepius]

Wowzers!!!
What an abominably- cool, well deserved, Testament to your dedication and loyaly to Spirit and life.
Hats solemnly, off to you again. *Hugz*

lookin swoled up OD, props brother. I wish you nothing but the best, I'm nearly at two weeks myself.

Fukin A! This made me smile, Big time. :D

 

[Fight Club]

OD - congrats, brother! I too have put on a few lbs. since I got clean, but it doesn't sit nearly as well as yours!

FC

"Dieting the old fashioned way to lose a few before swimsuit season"

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I like how the thread entitled "It's gettin' bad" is now turning into a success story! :D

Congrats OD!

 

[OverDone]

One Year Anniversary

well, its been approximately 3 years and 2 months since I started this thread. I am now one year clean from all drugs and alcohol (completely abstinent). I am also approximately 9 months off the cigarettes.

It has taken a lot of effort, pain and change but I finally feel okay in my own skin and all the shit that was experienced was all preparing me for this point in time. This moment and this moment alone.

As I read through this thread, I see so many changes.

NSFW:

• I am living back at my place in Colorado.
• My connection that I owed that money to has passed away.
• My dog has died.
• I own a small but lucrative side business.
• I have banged out 9 college credits in about 4 months (maybe more)
• My family trusts and respects me.
• I am physically healthy and strong.
• I have made positive growth in the area of developing good character

All-in-all I'm getting there and I now have a life that is worth living. I feel a wide range of emotions and even the uncomfortable ones are in my best interest.

If it wasn't for Bluelight (specifically TDS and Blogs), my story would have gone in a completely different direction.

I'm feeling so much gratitude for those here who have been so patient, compassionate, tolerant and accepting of me when i was at my worst and refused to follow suggestions that went against my desires.

Thanks, guys . This trip has been an amazing one and I truly cannot express how grateful and awestruck I am.



Man, thank you so much for helping me get a life back. Thank you for doing what you do and thank you for helping me to the extent you have. You have done things that were certainly not required and those things have me floored with amazement.

 

[herbavore]

I am so inspired by you. That's all I can say--just total fucking blown-away awe.:D

 

[xxsicknessxx]

speed is one of the more easy drugs to kick. I speak from exp. just bite the bullet bro suck it up and kick it once and for all. I agree be strait with the guy before he does something because he thinks your going to screw him.

 

[OverDone]

I am so inspired by you. That's all I can say--just total fucking blown-away awe.:D

thank you, herbavore! I actually find your strength to be quite an inspiration. The qualities that you have shown through a time of loss that I couldn't possibly fathom entirely has me inspired. You are an amazing individual.

speed is one of the more easy drugs to kick. I speak from exp. just bite the bullet bro suck it up and kick it once and for all. I agree be strait with the guy before he does something because he thinks your going to screw him.

thanks but i think you may have missed a few pages 8(

 

[Captain.Heroin]

That is some great news man!!! I am very happy for you.

 

[Ixchellian]

hell..... I don't even remember how long it's been since I've willingly done any junk. the only opiates I've had was after a broken collar-bone. from that 30-count bottle of vicodin I threw away 24, once I could fall asleep without needing any for pain.

TBH, trying to keep track of clean-time was counter-productive.... depressingly so.

I haven't had any cravings, idealizations, or desire whatsoever for opiates; and I've been like that, from the day I finished withdrawals. Now I just crave adrenaline..... which sucks lol

 

[HeWhoHowls]

OD, it's some amazing shit how someone can turn a life around.
Just as your experiences carved your own story, your story is carving inspiration in others.
It's like a cycle of healing.
As much as BL has done for you to get you where you are today, it was you to decide to open yourself up.
The only difference between BL helping change a life or not having any affect lies within the pivotal decision you made to finally take action.
So don't just pat our backs, you owe yourself one or two as well
Your story of personal salvation is a fountain of strength and wisdom.
Rest assured, your story is in the minds and hearts of us all...

 

[Legerity]

Great to hear all the progress you've made OD. You're definitely a positive example that many of us can use to be reminded that it is indeed possible to make positive changes in our lives. You put in a lot of effort and deserve all the rewards that you get for it.