tricomb
Bluelight Crew
You have absolutely zero to apologize for. 
This is the classic problem of many addicts way of thinking, while I'm certainly not saying you're an addict since I have no idea who you are, never saw you, saying that you want to do it means nothing. Once a drug takes over your thinking you're absolutely sure that it's YOU who want the drug and not vice versa but in fact the drug has already started to take over your rationality. By the time you realize you actually need the drug, it has already caused so many problems to you....... So do I need to do it? Absolutely not. I want to do it. Big difference.
good for you, how long are you stopping for? best to set a goal you can keep.