Old timer here.
Sober, hooked, sober...
Chicago has tar and raw D. But, Gota know the right people. It's not on the streets.
I won't...., so please don't ask...
Got myself clean for 14 months. Best time of my life. Only real clean time, besides jail, since '97.
I messed up n got back into it during covid.
Was so happy I found raw, and tar. I was using it,, on top of $50/day fent. Just for memories,, I guess love the taste.
Was all good, til my connects ran outa fent.
Been 2 days now, n no amount of the real shit, makes me feel good now. That feeling is no joke.
I'm not sick, but can't hold still or sleep.
Been up over 48hrs now.
Worst part..I been sitting, 6 hrs at a time, smoking in my bathroom, cause I don't smoke in my house. Bathroom only, and it's snowing here now.
I haven't copped on the streets in 2 years. I'm sure I can find it, but always hated going, mostly due to cops.
This made me really think about getting sober again.
Last time I made it out, I took 1mg of bupe, a day. Doubled the dose every other day. Used feet, as the bupe kicked in, to feel better.
After about 2 weeks. Once I was at 16mg a fee days, I can quit using anything. Just take the bupes.
It's a rough ride, bit only way I can do It.
Also. Once on bupes, I don't sleep. At ALL.
Went those 14 months, sleeping maybe 2 hrs a week. I spent 10pm til 8am, playing guitar, them went to work.
I'm a little scared this time. My health is worse, I'm 54, and smoking 1 to 2 packs of Newport a day. I have no stamina and can't breathe. Even after only getting dressed and tying my shoes.
Can't wait til Tues. I'm going to Dr, find out what's up, if anything, and hoping I just have to slow down with the cigs, and start exercising again.
It gets harder n harder on your body. The older you get.
Please...
Male a decision to quit. And don't give up until you get there.
If I can do it, anyone can.
Been thru the $500/day habits, myself.
Just taper yourself down a lilittle.
Start getting low doses of bupe in you, and don't stop.
Life is amazing, when you have money to do things you like. Are healthy enough to do them, and don't have a habit, holding u back.
But..
Yes tho it's rare.
Real stuff is around.