negrogesic
Bluelight Crew
^^^^You are simply wrong. Benzodiazapine and alcohol addiction is far, far worse. Even opiate withdrawals make nicotine withdrawals look like nothing.
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OD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | Tryptamino
Is opiate addiction worth it?
- Thread starter twgburst
- Start date
smakaddict
Bluelighter
i decided to post because my opinion is different than everybody else's.
i think, for most people, the bad outweigh the good.
but for me... if i could go back in time and turn down that first line of H, i wouldn't. i would still have done that first bag, and the bag after that, and the next million bags.
you wanna know why, before i start getting flamed ? because i have never known what it's like to be happy. the only time i've ever felt any resemblance to happiness is the times ive been doped up. if i had never tried any drugs, there is no doubt in my mind that i'd be dead by now. people always ask me, "dont you wanna feel like you felt before you got addicted?" and the answer is always the same: NO. i remember it distinctly - it was hell. it was hopelessness, misery, despair, and try as i might, i could not find any reason to wake up in the morning and face each day. i was suicidal, i had no life, i was so depressed i couldnt function in the normal world, the only thing i did all day every day was hurt myself, i might as well have been dead. i am by no means exaggerating.
but now, even tho i'm plagued by addiction, at least i know what its like to be happy. you may think it's "fake", but to me, its the most real true thing i've ever felt (except my love for my boyfriend - i love you paul!!)
since the very first time i heard about dope in elementary school DARE class, i knew that someday i was going to do it. i could just tell, i just had this feeling... i was addicted years before the first time i ever tried it.
heroin has given me a reason to live. sure its stupid to you all, but to me at least there is something to keep me going, something to hope for, a reason not to give up. because i've been happy, and i know that someday, be it tomorrow or a hundred years from now when i get my next hit (i've quit for the time being, trying to stay sober for a little while), someday i will be happy again.
Love,
-H
i think, for most people, the bad outweigh the good.
but for me... if i could go back in time and turn down that first line of H, i wouldn't. i would still have done that first bag, and the bag after that, and the next million bags.
you wanna know why, before i start getting flamed ? because i have never known what it's like to be happy. the only time i've ever felt any resemblance to happiness is the times ive been doped up. if i had never tried any drugs, there is no doubt in my mind that i'd be dead by now. people always ask me, "dont you wanna feel like you felt before you got addicted?" and the answer is always the same: NO. i remember it distinctly - it was hell. it was hopelessness, misery, despair, and try as i might, i could not find any reason to wake up in the morning and face each day. i was suicidal, i had no life, i was so depressed i couldnt function in the normal world, the only thing i did all day every day was hurt myself, i might as well have been dead. i am by no means exaggerating.
but now, even tho i'm plagued by addiction, at least i know what its like to be happy. you may think it's "fake", but to me, its the most real true thing i've ever felt (except my love for my boyfriend - i love you paul!!)
since the very first time i heard about dope in elementary school DARE class, i knew that someday i was going to do it. i could just tell, i just had this feeling... i was addicted years before the first time i ever tried it.
heroin has given me a reason to live. sure its stupid to you all, but to me at least there is something to keep me going, something to hope for, a reason not to give up. because i've been happy, and i know that someday, be it tomorrow or a hundred years from now when i get my next hit (i've quit for the time being, trying to stay sober for a little while), someday i will be happy again.
Love,
-H
smakaddict
Bluelighter
one more thing - i just read the post by deviate and negrogesic, and this is exactly what i'm talking about ! i am living proof that opiates are a great substitute for suicide, and the do help with horrible incurable depression (i've been prescribed massive doses of anti-depressants, and they didnt do anything. it made no difference at all, i still felt all of those god-awful emotions just as badly as before). if it wasnt for dope, i'd be 6 feet under instead of being here typing this post right now.
a great big thank you to god for creating the opium poppy.
Love,
-H (what a lovely letter)
a great big thank you to god for creating the opium poppy.
Love,
-H (what a lovely letter)
ebeneezer_geeza
Bluelighter
A resounding noooooooooooooooooooooo. Yes intially they are brilliant at first, after years they aint. I am in my 6th day of a bupe detox and its not fun. Not fun because i have been on/off opiated so long that when i come off them i go through about 3 months of residual withdrawal (cold, freezing cold, irritibility, depression, insomnia). also, i discovered some research that if you have been on em for more than a few years a part of your brain controlling endorphins is permanently fucked.
ebeneezer_geeza
Bluelighter
i recently read a study that most addicts (60%) have attention defeceit in varying forms. I myself was diagnosed at the age of 35. Prior to this i self medicated with opiates and speed. Persoanly for all the hassle and time invested in being a junkie it aint worth it. I would rather be on an antidepressent or at least correct medication that controls my moods.
Partykid12
Bluelighter
I don't think it was worth it at all, it did help me realize some things about myself and stuff like that, but in no way was it "worth" it. It put me and my family through a lot of pain and I feel so bad that I had to put them through that and I look back at it and wonder how I let myself get to that point and thank god that I'm not like that anymore.
ebeneezer_geeza
Bluelighter
i just thought, there is a condition, which is rare, where people have lowered endorphin levels from birth. Now if they had a constant pharmaceutical supply then this would be the only situation where i could see it would be worth it.
Gaz_hmmmm
Bluelighter
Some people here are saying that addiction's never worth it, but what about the poor twats who are addicted to anti-depressants!? ![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
I knew a person with horrible depression. I didnt know what depression was until I met him. At one point he was even suicidal. It really broke my heart when I would see him so miserably diepressed (which was most of the time). He started to take opiates and I understood his decision to IV large amounts of crudely prepared pills. I didnt agree with what he was putting his body through because i cared about him (and still care) but he was happy sometimes and i couldnt object. He has advanced his technique to expert shooter but his tolerance is disturbingly high and it requires unreasonable doses to get him to a normal state. But, im really glad he's still alive today, even if he thinks im a moron. Look at smakaddict, its not always all in fun. I think if it helps someone live then its worth it.
bip norris
Bluelighter
this question doesn't really make sense - did you mean 'are opiates worth the potential risks?' rather than 'is addiction worth it?' - the point at which you are addicted is the point at which all the benifits pretty much disappear - Cars have benifits & draw backs - your question is a bit like saying 'is being in a fatal car accident worth it?'
Gaz_hmmmm
Bluelighter
Smakaddict I remember reading on www.nhsdirect.co.uk that there is a type of depression where people can't seem to feel happy and this makes them depressed and the majority of them turn to drugs to feel happy.
It said that they don't feel suicidal like the majority of depressed people it's just that they wanna feel happy.
You might have that type of depression!
I couldn't find what it was called though, but it is on that site!
It said that they don't feel suicidal like the majority of depressed people it's just that they wanna feel happy.
You might have that type of depression!
I couldn't find what it was called though, but it is on that site!
PASSSDABLUNT
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2001
- Messages
- 168
I think that the opiate addiction is a very bad way to go, no matter what the circumstances. As far as if its worth it or not, I'd say no. I find it very hard to believe that opiates are the only thing that can make a persons life worth living. It sounds more like a rationalization for using than a good plan on how to deal with your life. Even if it temporarily releives depression, it is loaded with side-effects that people are generally blind to while they're getting high. People don't do somehting unless it benefits them in some way, and at first opiates can have tons of benefits, but eventually their needs get very skewwed and things end up problematic when they dont need to. My approach would to seek better options.
GottaRockDoc
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2002
- Messages
- 183
I'm almost speechless -- or wordless, as the case may be.
If addiction was merely a set of physical symptoms, than it could possibly be tolerated. But it's so much more than the threat of going through withdrawal or OD'ing. The mental anguish and spiritual hell that come along with addiction is far more hideous than any kind of kick can be. I've gone through the getting clean process so many times -- three times in detox -- and even though it sucks, you can get through it and come out the other side.
How about when the addiction overtakes your life? When you want to stop using and you can't? When drugs simply stop working, but you're powerless to stop? When spending your last $20 on a bag does nothing but keep you straight? When your friends and family abandon you, because it's just to painful to be around? How about when you realize that the emptiness in your life is far more potent than the transitory high that comes with any drug -- but still, you can't stop? Event hought the drugs just don't work anymore?
I've told my story over and over again on these boards, but I lost so much of my life (and my apparent "potential") to drugs. I started using when I was still in junior high school, and it didn't take long to go from smoking pot and drinking to getting strung out on cocaine and then heroin and most recently pills. I stayed clean for 12 years in between my second detox and my third, and I'm now coming up on 9 months. This time through, I've gotten a perspective that I never had before -- this time, I'm not young enough to be entirely forgiven my digressions. I'd been through this before -- I should have known better. The bridges I burned this time can't be easily rebuilt -- and I mean that in terms of the professional, the personal, and the financial.
The friends I lost to my drug use aren't coming back -- or they aren't likely to; the dynamic I created within my family isn't apt to change. I watched a great career disintegrate -- or more accurately, through my addiction, I participated in decimating my own career. Financially, my debts are ridiculous - all of my money went to pills, and I paid only the most essential bills. At the end of this last run, I'd lost my car, my apartment and my job. The ONLY thing I wanted was to get clean again, and still -- it took me two ODs and six months of daily battle to get my ass into rehab.
If addiction were merely a matter of paying the physical tab at the end of the run, and paying it only because I needed to reset my tolerance or because I'd run out of money, I probably wouldn't be clean. But that's not the case. Being an addict means giving your entire life to a drug, and that's not something I'm willing to do EVER again.
GRD
If addiction was merely a set of physical symptoms, than it could possibly be tolerated. But it's so much more than the threat of going through withdrawal or OD'ing. The mental anguish and spiritual hell that come along with addiction is far more hideous than any kind of kick can be. I've gone through the getting clean process so many times -- three times in detox -- and even though it sucks, you can get through it and come out the other side.
How about when the addiction overtakes your life? When you want to stop using and you can't? When drugs simply stop working, but you're powerless to stop? When spending your last $20 on a bag does nothing but keep you straight? When your friends and family abandon you, because it's just to painful to be around? How about when you realize that the emptiness in your life is far more potent than the transitory high that comes with any drug -- but still, you can't stop? Event hought the drugs just don't work anymore?
I've told my story over and over again on these boards, but I lost so much of my life (and my apparent "potential") to drugs. I started using when I was still in junior high school, and it didn't take long to go from smoking pot and drinking to getting strung out on cocaine and then heroin and most recently pills. I stayed clean for 12 years in between my second detox and my third, and I'm now coming up on 9 months. This time through, I've gotten a perspective that I never had before -- this time, I'm not young enough to be entirely forgiven my digressions. I'd been through this before -- I should have known better. The bridges I burned this time can't be easily rebuilt -- and I mean that in terms of the professional, the personal, and the financial.
The friends I lost to my drug use aren't coming back -- or they aren't likely to; the dynamic I created within my family isn't apt to change. I watched a great career disintegrate -- or more accurately, through my addiction, I participated in decimating my own career. Financially, my debts are ridiculous - all of my money went to pills, and I paid only the most essential bills. At the end of this last run, I'd lost my car, my apartment and my job. The ONLY thing I wanted was to get clean again, and still -- it took me two ODs and six months of daily battle to get my ass into rehab.
If addiction were merely a matter of paying the physical tab at the end of the run, and paying it only because I needed to reset my tolerance or because I'd run out of money, I probably wouldn't be clean. But that's not the case. Being an addict means giving your entire life to a drug, and that's not something I'm willing to do EVER again.
GRD
Urbanhog
Bluelighter
The only opiates I have taken is opium, codine and oxycontin, and I just don't find them interested enough for me to take them all the time and end up addicted, I only like them something like once every 2-3 weeks. Never tired heroin. So, I wouldnt want be addicted to opiates, even I like them..... just they dont interest me on regular basis.