• LAVA Moderator: Shinji Ikari

Is it OK to spank a child?

No it's not o.k. Do adults make mistakes? Do we get "smacked" ? Why do so many of you think spanking or hitting will help a kid learn?

Because very young children are still in the process of learning right and wrong and the consequences of each. What do you do when a 3-year-old isn't deterred by time-out and does something completely unacceptable, like hitting other children or you?
 
my dad was a big fan of spanking.....they even used to spank us in school...corporal punishment FTW...
 
No it's not o.k. Do adults make mistakes? Do we get "smacked" ? Why do so many of you think spanking or hitting will help a kid learn?
Yes, yes and because some kids need more then just a stern talking to. Ever see that kid from Tosh.0 that stole his grandmother's SUV? He was 9 years old and hit a few other cars on his ride. When he was asked why he did it he said "Because I wanted to do hood rat shit with my friends". Do you really think taking his playstation away will help? No but belt across the ass will. At the very least it will help the parent feel better...
 
The problem is not everyone has the same understanding on the word discipline - one may see a quick tap not leaving a mark as discipline. Others will see breaking an arm or burning with a cigarette or punching a child as discipline (tough love?).

A simple spank – not leaving a mark, not done out of malice etc I see as OK. To leave a lasting mark is imho wrong.
 
they also had a cure for attention deficit disorder....it was called military school...
 
i was hit by my parents; mostly my mom. all four of them (i have step-parents) were alcoholics and habitual drug users, albeit functional alcoholics and drug users. regardless, their "discipline" probably bordered on abuse since when they lashed out it was normally when they were intoxicated.

it's never okay to hit a child. there are other ways to discipline a child and communicate your displeasure and disappointment without resorting to violence.
 
I was given corporal punishment by my parents and look at how much of a well-adjusted and generally nice guy I turned out to be =D
 
it's never okay to hit a child. there are other ways to discipline a child and communicate your displeasure and disappointment without resorting to violence.

i tend to agree with this. i wish i'd never spanked my kids. but both spankings happened after several warnings, and, in one case, a straight refusal by the child to submit to another form of discipline, i.e. she would NOT go to her room, and was yelling "fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!" at me and her stepdad. i've got a lot of patience, and an endless supply of love for my children, but even i can be pushed too far. what was i supposed to do? let the 12 year old CHILD run the house?
 
weapons are no go evarrrr imo. i've been wacked/had things tossed at me quite a few times and it's not fun. cell phone chargers really hurt when used as a whip tbh. they leave welt like bruises for weeks too :\ couldn't wear tight jeans for the first few days lolz.

crackhead for parental sucks. go dad :|
and he wonders why i don't want to see him often.
 
I've been spanked, back-handed and whipped with a belt. And I deserved it no doubt. That was when I was a wee lad.

I think thats all alright if its called for. I draw the line at fists, the only reason you should ever do that is to prevent your son or daughter from hurting a family member when all other methods have been exhausted.

YES
 
The whole point imo is that the only parents that find that their 12-year-olds are telling them to fuck off are the parents that don't believe in physically disciplining their children when they need it. The idea of telling my Mother or Father to fuck off when I was 12 wouldn't have crossed my mind in a million years.

In short: Beat your kids(reasonably). It makes them better people in the long run.
 
^ I once told my mum to shut the fuck up, and shoved her where she fell into a chair after an altercation when I was 13.

She was so shocked, she stopped yelling and everything was fine for a few days. She knows how she was treating me was wrong, and by showing her I can defend myself set things to a new level. The switch from physical punishment to emotional and mental punishment began.
 
My theory only holds true if the parents aren't whackjobs. Otherwise, they should worry more about therapy than how to discipline their children.
 
GM, it wasn't quite so cut-and-dried as all that. i split with her father when she was only a couple of months old, and i was not her custodial parent for over 10 years. her father did use corporal punishment, so it's not like she was never spanked, just not by me.

the incident arose because she hates my husband for not being her father. she hated him before she ever met him, and continues to hate him to this day. (she's 20 now). when she comes home for holidays, or whatever, there's generally at least one big yelling fight where she ends up saying "fuck you" to him in his own home. and she gets kicked out every time.

i don't know how to fix it, but i don't think any amount of beating would have changed anything.
 
Yes, within reason, and with a restraint that ensures that the mere threat of it is usually sufficient, without it pouring over into abuse. I don't know if I could ever do it, but...God help me...I have a Mr. Hyde temper on rare occasions that would sorely test my limits.
 
When I comes to beating children I use the rule of thumb. You may not beat a child with a stick thicker than your thumb. I was also raised Roman Catholic so I believe that if I do not beat my unborn children they will "spoil".
 
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