I can't help but think that lots of you have never dealt with children on a long term basis... That's all I can really say. Many of you have some hopelessly idealistic notions (specifically coming to mind is people thinking that a 2 year old can have a rational discussion with you about their behavior or even understand why something they did was wrong or dangerous).
obviously, i've never had children myself, but i have several friends who've been able to raise successful, smart and respectful children without spanking. i don't think it's an idealistic notion.
of course one cannot expect to have a rational conversation with a toddler. at that age, their motor skills have developed more quickly than their verbal skills and a parent is still equipped to communicate consequences for improper behavior.
Man, I dont know why yall are so bugged out by BeefNBrokly post. I missed the edited shit so IDK wat was in it before but the way it looks now aint got nothing wrong in it as far as im concerned. I think its prob a hood thing vs a middle upper class thing.....Lot of white upper class parents are all about the "time out" shit and all that, or "nicely" explaining to a kid the shit they did wrong and pleasantly asking them to please, if they dont mind, if aint too much trouble to them, to not do that.
don't get me wrong, i think asking a child to be nice or to not do something is passive and lazy parenting. i agree people like that have children that walk all over them. but, i can say that if you communicate sternly and discipline appropriately even without spanking, you can get your point across.
Dont get me wrong i aint sayin beat your kids like beat-beat them...But sometimes kids do need a smack. I aint with all this pussy wishy-washy shit that parents do nowadays. kid is havin a fucking tantrum to end the world in the middle of the grocery store and the parent just stands there ignorin them, or nicely ASKING them to PLEASE be quiet. That shit makes me laugh, you are the PARENT.....you dont just let them do WTFever they want.
i've seen this before and i definitely think it's neglectful. however, while you might spank your child in this situation, i'd take mine to the bathroom or car until they calmed down. you also have to consider why they're throwing a fit. maybe they didn't get a good nap or they're hungry.
also, i've never seen a crying, tantrum-throwing child STOP crying when their parent spanked them.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
The idea aint to be a bully or to abuse the fact that you bigger and stronger. of course you love your kid and you dont want to harm them or do shit that will be permanently hurtful. but seriously kids need to learn some damn respect, and i see SOOOO many kids these days that coulda REALLY benefit from a good smackin now and then as a kid. I forget who in here said that "not disciplining kids at all rarely leads to any real problems" and im sayin wat the FUCK?? Are you serious? The fuck outta here it dont lead to problems, thats one of the worse things you can do to a kid is not give em no discipline. I aint sayin you should be over harsh with it becuz we all know there is a balance.
are you referring to n3o's quote? if so i really don't think you understood what she meant.
I recall hearing in a psychology lecture that many studies have shown that physical punishment typically doesn't have a lasting effect on the child's learning anyway.
But seriously, spanking and smacking AINT child abuse. Sayin shit like the people who would do that belong in hell or shit like that is just ....petty. There is a difference between child abuse, and while it might not be a solid straight line that can be defined for certain, its one of them things that you know it when you see it.
uhm, no one said someone will go to hell for spanking their child.
I dont see NOTHING wrong with smackin a kid when they do somethin serious and they aint a little baby who is helpless and defenseless. nobody should ever hit a baby, obviously. But when your kid is 6, 7 yrs old and he does some bad-ass shit, like stealin from the store or even like Beefnbrokly said running and playin in the house when he KNOWS he aint suppose to do that and he breaks the brand new TV that you busted your ass workin for, fuck yea he deserves a smack.
firstly, i fully believe if you're a good, consistent parent, you won't raise a child that steals.
and, even so, if my child did steal, and they weren't caught, i'd make them return the item and apologize to the store owner. if they were caught, you'd better believe they'd be doing something like volunteering at the store they stole from. making the punishments fit the crime will stick longer and better with a child than a smack that will be long forgotten after a few hours.
and jesus. a child that accidently broke a tv does not deserve to be hit; it's an accident. first, if the parent is home and their kid is running around, that energy needs to be directed more positively. make them go outside to play or have them clean their room.
It aint a big deal to spank kids it really aint. it dont cause all these fuckin problems and shit ilke people always whine about. Parents who never discipline their kid or when their kid does somethin REALLY bad and they be like....Thats it junior....I am REALLY gonna make you GO TO YOUR ROOM now! and im gonna TALK to you! Thatll show you! I just dont get it.
yeah. if a parent hasn't given their child a television and phone and computer in their room, being banished to it and asked to read a book or write an essay on what they did wrong,
IS DISCIPLINE.
Futurepig i think you misunderstood me when i was talkin about a kid screamin his ass off when you out shoppin, etc. I dont mean like screaming like a baby screams cuz they cant talk. i mean when you got a 3 year old in tantrum zone, kickin and screamin his lungs out layin on the floor kickin his feet and punchin the floor WAAAAAAIIIIILIN for 15 minutes, after you told him to be quiet, becuz HE WANTS A COOKIE, and he NEEDS a cookie, and you GIVE HIM THE COOKIE MAMA NOW!!! and you explain that he cant have it, and that we aint buyin that and he better just deal with it, and you aint gonna change your mind, and so he throws a fit like that--you better damn well believe that kid needs a hard whack on the ass.
no i don't think i did. a three year-old hasn't got the verbal skills either to effectively communicate. a three year-old in tantrum mode is going to a private area until they calm down. other, non-physical and very effective measures can be taken to stop or even prevent tantrums. i've seen a spank rarely makes a screaming child calm.
also, and just as an interesting fyi, i read recently that children that are more bonded to their parents, are more mellow and experience fewer tantrums.
I think that honestly alot of white people seem to have a problem with it and it seems to become more of a big deal wiith them. they aint used to it as much so it becomes this big issue or somethin. where for the people who it is more common and natural for, it aint no thing. nobody freaks out becuz their mom spanked them becuz its accepted as a normal appropriate way of discipline so kids dont get a damn complex about it becuz they dont see it as nothing out of the ordinary....but alot of times when people make a big deal about shit, tellin a kid that he been abused when he just been spanked, etc, and people act like it aint normal and like the kid had somethin really bad happen to him, then he gets some shit in his head actually thinking that a regular lil spanking is this bad awful thing his parents did to him and it fucks up his head.
as white American chick mostly raised middle-class, corporal punishment was pretty common in my house. my mother was an alcoholic and was raised by an alcoholic military colonel. maybe that's why i want to be on the opposite side of the spectrum. because hitting didn't teach me to communicate; it taught me to hit. just because it was "normal" in my house, doesn't mean it's normal in everyone's house or a good way to raise a child.
out of curiosity, how do you plan to discipline your child when they're too old to be spanked?
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