is homosexuality a choice?

[beamers]

Some like the same gender and some don't. I do. It's just what I choose."

So after all this gays now come out and say that it's a choice.....so which is it?

 

[adam562]

So after all this gays now come out and say that it's a choice.....so which is it?

One gay said this. I'm sure there's more, but the vast majority sure as hell don't think it's a choice.

I find it ridiculous that people can think you can choose who you find attractive, who you fuck, fall in love with, etc. Can any heterosexual please tell me when you decided to be straight?

If someone think it's a choice, please, for experiment's sake choose to be gay for one day.....can't do it? Thought so.

8)

 

[mr Bungle]

i only choose to suck cock on Tuesdays - all the other days i like womens hairy bits

 

[Damien]

One gay said this. I'm sure there's more, but the vast majority sure as hell don't think it's a choice.

I agree, but just because a majority thinks it's true doesn't make it true.

I find it ridiculous that people can think you can choose who you find attractive, who you fuck, fall in love with, etc. Can any heterosexual please tell me when you decided to be straight?

Somewhere around 2000.

If someone think it's a choice, please, for experiment's sake choose to be gay for one day.....can't do it? Thought so.

8)

Just because you don't want to do it doesn't mean that it can't be done.

Fausty, I read your post and something is just off. I can't place my finger on it though. I think we are just arguing over semantics. Comparing the choice of whether you want to breath air or not is hardly comparable to choosing who you love. I believe love is a choice not some willy nilly destiny/fate thing that you can't be held accountable for. If I were to cheat on my wife I would not tell her "Hey I couldn't help it, I just fell in love with that other woman. It's really not my fault." I also believe that is a huge part of what makes love so special, choosing to love that person.

 

[phuq you]

: is it a choice ?

yes, just like the feel for the rush people get when shoplifting its the same

doin what they shouldnt be doing.

 

[Fausty]

Fausty, I read your post and something is just off. I can't place my finger on it though. I think we are just arguing over semantics. Comparing the choice of whether you want to breath air or not is hardly comparable to choosing who you love. I believe love is a choice not some willy nilly destiny/fate thing that you can't be held accountable for. If I were to cheat on my wife I would not tell her "Hey I couldn't help it, I just fell in love with that other woman. It's really not my fault." I also believe that is a huge part of what makes love so special, choosing to love that person.

Ok, interesting. Let me ask you a question:

Could you chose to love one of my partners, totally and unconditionally? If love really is a choice, could you choose to be a zoo?

One often hears the implicit assumption that non-straight folks "choose" their "lifestyle" of divergence from the norm - which would mean, of course, that if they really wanted to, they could just revise their "choice" and be Normal/straight like everyone else.

One rarely hears the converse challenge posed. So I pose it here.

If love is purely a "choice," as some here are arguing, could you choose to love as I do? Let's make it easier, not even for a whole lifetime. How about just a full year, 364 days? Note: I'm using my own orientation purely for example - the same would apply to a straight person choosing to be gay, though I like my version as it seems more stark. %)

I'm curious to see who can make that choice.

Peace,

Fausty

 

[Fausty]

^^ In spite of myself, I read that paragraph and it sounds wonderfully. . . kinky.

Peace,

Fausty

 

[Damien]

Ok, interesting. Let me ask you a question:

Could you chose to love one of my partners, totally and unconditionally? If love really is a choice, could you choose to be a zoo?

One often hears the implicit assumption that non-straight folks "choose" their "lifestyle" of divergence from the norm - which would mean, of course, that if they really wanted to, they could just revise their "choice" and be Normal/straight like everyone else.

One rarely hears the converse challenge posed. So I pose it here.

If love is purely a "choice," as some here are arguing, could you choose to love as I do? Let's make it easier, not even for a whole lifetime. How about just a full year, 364 days? Note: I'm using my own orientation purely for example - the same would apply to a straight person choosing to be gay, though I like my version as it seems more stark. %)

I'm curious to see who can make that choice.

Peace,

Fausty

I would say yes that this could be chosen. I think it would take some time and convincing but it could be chosen. Also I think that just because you don't want to choose something that doesn't mean it can't be chosen. Do you think racist people choose to be racist? Could you be a racist for a year?

 

[Survival0200]

For some people it is. Some guys want to be "homosexuals", because it's cool, you get attenttion and girls like gays. So, it's like a win-win-win situation. Why wouldn't anyone want to be gay, if it results in social greatness? 8)

I'm hopefully going to convert my self into a Big Gay Al, once I grow up a lil' bit.

 

[Fausty]

I would say yes that this could be chosen. I think it would take some time and convincing but it could be chosen. Also I think that just because you don't want to choose something that doesn't mean it can't be chosen. Do you think racist people choose to be racist? Could you be a racist for a year?

An insightful response. Thinking on it, I conclude that the difference is between exhibiting the external behaviors, and actually experiencing an internal, emotional state.

That is to say, I could pretend to be a racist - do racist things, say racist stuff, take racist actions - for a year if somehow that was essential. But I would not "be" a racist that year, as I'd still not have the emotional state of intensely disliking certain categories of two-leggers who don't look or talk like me.

Same goes for love - perhaps more so. I could pretend to love my wife, I could do all the right "lovey" things (flowers, cards, cuddling, intimacy). In fact, I could do that so well that no outside observer could really question whether those actions and behaviors are "real" - they ARE real.

However, emotionally, I'd not be experiencing the state of "love." That is a real thing, it is physical, and biologically created. Its absence is not simply ephemeral. You can't pretend to love someone, in other words - you can be really "loving" to them, but you can't force yourself to love them can you? I don't think you can force other emotions, either - except by putting yourself in situations where they arise, sui generis. Try to force yourself to feel happy - or to feel terrified - or to feel horny. . . right now. It's not so easy; for me, I find myself resorting right away to visual imagery techniques. Is that the same thing as me closing my eyes during intimacy with my ex, and visualizing a slightly more canine-ish partner to keep sexual interest? I think it is, honestly.

Maybe that's why I always had such a hard time telling my ex-wife "I love you," even though I did all the loving things to the best of my ability. I really, truly, genuinely tried - for years - to love her (as I felt, and still feel, she deserved to be loved by a partner). Heck, I still think she's a cool person. But you can't force an emotion. Anyway, I couldn't.

Any other comments and experiences on this?

Peace,

Fausty

 

[Damien]

Do you think that you can learn or otherwise be convinced to choose certain things. Like in my example of racism. I think that these people are convinced to choose racism but ultimately it is a choice. If racism isn't a choice then why are we so disdainful of it? How could we ever hold anyone accountable to being a racist? Like you said though, you would not choose to be a racist but that doesn't meant that you aren't able to make that choice (IMO).

 

[Fausty]

I'm hopefully going to convert my self into a Big Gay Al, once I grow up a lil' bit.

I'm sssssuper. . . thanks for asking!!

I Big Gay Al. . . and his Big Gay Sanctuary.

Peace,

Fausty

 

[kracks]

being gay is not a choice, but coming out is

 

[Jamshyd]

Damien, my comment on your friend's statement extends to your own sentiments too.

I'd like to know, do you choose to find (let's say) spinach disgusting? Do you choose to find the colour green beautiful?

Sexuality and sexual attraction have a similar hard-wired connection to your physical body (after all, sex is essentially a physical act that engages all your senses). Do you choose to find women with shingles unattractive? Do you choose to find huge burns unattractive? You get my point.

 

[Damien]

I think you can learn to like spinach and I think you can learn to like the color green. Would learning to like these things be as easy as choosing a sexuality? Of course not. I have never known a woman with shingles so I can't really say. But I can tell you if my wife got shingles I don't think I would instantaneously think that she isn't attractive. I am still curious about my question with regards to racism though.

 

[Jamshyd]

Sorry, I forgot to address your racism question. If I understand your argument correctly, then I don't think it makes logical sense.

Just because some people are disdainful of both homosexuality and racism, doesn't necessarily mean that both need to have identical origins.

People can be disdainful of things that are choices and things that are not.

Re: learning to like spinach or green, I disagree. You may be able to desensitize yourself against finding spinach revolting, but I cannot see you learning to like it. Flavour is a chemical process, not a social one. You can learn to change opinions on certain ideologies, for example, but you cannot "learn" to change the way you taste something.

IMO, the simple fact that you say you "chose" to become hetero in 2000 means that you are bisexual. I suppose you may have a motive to deny that, or maybe not - but I am pretty sure that God is quicker to dismiss deception than he would dismiss love .

 

[Damien]

^ lol maybe. I will chew on it this weekend. Thanks for the reply.

 

[ninjadanslarbretabar]

but you cannot "learn" to change the way you taste something.

yes you can
you tongue is divided in different section and you can learn to be aware of certain section more than others
its like playing with a equalizer
you learn to taste things imo
to balance you attention on how to appreciate something
but mostly on the psychological side
if you learn that i spit in your beverage you wont appreciate it as much
it still taste the same (on a objective level) but your mind is changing the way you taste it (on a subjective level)

 

[ninjadanslarbretabar]

total rant
you have being warn

NSFW:

i wish i had participated in this thread earlier mainly for these reason :
fausty, damien, jamshyd

ill say this,
is homosexuality a choice?
first i read that has : is heterosexuality a choice (since im hetero (and sometimes i like to add: ...but open minded))

is it a choice, or lets be more personal here : was it a choice for me to let another men suck my cock
- yes
was it a choice to have sex with a fat girl
- yes
im not very happy about those two cuz they are not my preference
do i make a choice everytime im having sex with a women? - yes

so in some ways its always a choice
cuz my mind is sexual
and obviously so is my body
then we talk about orientation

i dont think that we are born hetero or homo or zoo
we are born sexual
where we draw the line between "choice" or "genetics" is culturally define imo

do you choose your spiritual-orientation ?

do i choose what "i" believe in,
who is "i"
consciousness is the surfer, the subconscious is the wave and the unconscious is the ocean
the "i" is the tip of the iceberg, you cant be aware of all of who and what and how you are (is)
is it a choice..
semantics

i mean, its both choice and genetics
genetic creates predisposition
just like the environment you live in will create predisposition (on your choice)
we are sexual creature from the biological stand point and psychological stand point
and like i was saying we can trace a line between those two but imo it will only represent your contextual (predispose) values
metha choice..

i really like to have fausty in here
cuz even tho i can think about back in the days when i was into vampire and realize that if i was immortal i eventually would loose my fetishism about women (or so i tought) and would eventually, after thousand of years, be desensitize to the meaning of their gender, and only care for them as lover
but im mortal so ill stick to what makes my dick hard..
but what about animals ?
i was really into animals when i was a kid
i would have love to have a tiger
and if i would have live in the jungle and didnt knew better, and if tiger+human relationship was possible im sure i could have end up there
but my mind has bein impregnate with penis in vaginas meaning and i cant go back

im sure i could have being a zoo if genetics and contextual environment would have being aligned

is it a choice...
i would like to be bi, thats a choice, my reason : the more people im sexually attracted to, the better

did i choose to be hetero : priceless
hehe, jk
i realize my sexual interest for women when i was in second grade
was it genetics, was it the influence of the inprint of my father-mother relationship ? i dont know
what will science say ? it always change what science says, its evolving and so are our values and judgemnt toward those issues
is it relevant to care about a difference between choice or genetic ? i dont think so
if its a choice does it means that it should be outlawed ?
i mean does it makes a difference if its a choice or not ?
what are we trying to establish here ?

personally i didnt want to come to this discussion due to that (i dont know whats the use)
but came in to see what those people in the start of my rant were saying

...sorry for the rant

 

[Damien]

...sorry for the rant

I liked it. Maybe it's just cause I agree with you though lol.