Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
Sorry to be a pain - can someone ple explain to me how I subscribe to a thread? There's a thing I clicked n made a tick. Is that it please? Evey x
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spork
Bluelight Crew
Go to the blue bar right below the Post Reply button, click on Thread Tools, and then Subscribe to This Thread.
caseface99
Bluelight Crew
eve how much codeine were you using? 8mgs of sub is standard for heroin, maybe it's my opinion but seems a little excessive for codeine.
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
Thank you, Spork.
Caseface - suboxone CAN be used for codeine if the habit is extreme n as a means of harm prevention. Besides the first few months I STILL had major cravings even on 8 mg. it was terrible. It's been five months n I can think / talk about codeine without as much triggers / cravings. Infact cravings were that bad when I first went on siboxone that I started drinking 1 to 2 bottles of wine per evening n not addicted but trying to get myself not to do that n have done so to a point. So no to me, 8 mg suboxone isn't excessive n I really don't regret going on suboxone.
However you have the right to your own opinion n thank you for your comment to me. Oh I was taking 7-800 mg daily.
Evey
Caseface - suboxone CAN be used for codeine if the habit is extreme n as a means of harm prevention. Besides the first few months I STILL had major cravings even on 8 mg. it was terrible. It's been five months n I can think / talk about codeine without as much triggers / cravings. Infact cravings were that bad when I first went on siboxone that I started drinking 1 to 2 bottles of wine per evening n not addicted but trying to get myself not to do that n have done so to a point. So no to me, 8 mg suboxone isn't excessive n I really don't regret going on suboxone.
However you have the right to your own opinion n thank you for your comment to me. Oh I was taking 7-800 mg daily.
Evey
caseface99
Bluelight Crew
You're completely right, for a MASSIVE codeine habit that much sub could possibly be called for. I guess most people I know just graduated to harder opiates instead.
Also, doesn't change that given the chance I would go back in time and try quitting heroin cold turkey instead of going on sub 4-5 years ago when I first got on it. codeine withdrawal will seem like a bad cold if you ever kick subs after years of maintenance, fyi. and that part isn't my opinion, it's just about everyones opinion. Look up suboxone horror stories. May seem counterintuitive, since I'm back on subs again. But that's only because the withdrawal was so bad and so long lasting I couldn't stay clean...
Also, doesn't change that given the chance I would go back in time and try quitting heroin cold turkey instead of going on sub 4-5 years ago when I first got on it. codeine withdrawal will seem like a bad cold if you ever kick subs after years of maintenance, fyi. and that part isn't my opinion, it's just about everyones opinion. Look up suboxone horror stories. May seem counterintuitive, since I'm back on subs again. But that's only because the withdrawal was so bad and so long lasting I couldn't stay clean...
Vaya
Bluelight Crew
Eveleivibe, props for making it this far. 700-800mg of codeine is, indeed, quite a massive habit, and one that must not have been at all easy to break, so my hat goes off to you.
Recall, though, that you do not want to be dependent on Suboxone like those of MMT are dependent on methadone. Across the boards this past year, in fact, I've seen an influx of users who have either consciously or unconsciously made taking buprenorphine a lifestyle choice, rather than being on full-fledged painkillers and various opiates. Suboxone is great for episodic maintenance, but I would consider tapering down from 8mg the moment you feel ready to, because you just don't want to be trapped within its arms, too, for the rest of your life.
Much love and all the luck in the world to you
~ Vaya
Recall, though, that you do not want to be dependent on Suboxone like those of MMT are dependent on methadone. Across the boards this past year, in fact, I've seen an influx of users who have either consciously or unconsciously made taking buprenorphine a lifestyle choice, rather than being on full-fledged painkillers and various opiates. Suboxone is great for episodic maintenance, but I would consider tapering down from 8mg the moment you feel ready to, because you just don't want to be trapped within its arms, too, for the rest of your life.
Much love and all the luck in the world to you
~ Vaya
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
Hiya caseface,e
I know you're right. A former 'friend' convinced me to go on sub. Said it was what I needed n that it helped her n that lots of people on codeine were on it. I wasn't sure at first as I said to her that surely sub was for heroin users. She convinced me that I could not give up codeine on my own n that I'd need subs to deal with it. I was going to go with a service that was going to gradually reduce me off codeine over a few months, give me acupuncture n stuff but she said it really hurt n that I needed subs so I became obsessed with getting on subs because she made it sound like the answer to my prayers. She was so supportive before I got on suboxone n now she has changed n become so nasty to me - it makes me feel depressed because I thought she was such a lovely person who genuinely cared about me but it was all through guilt cause someone she supported died a few years ago. She didn't tell me the withdrawals also lost a friend who she had supportedwere horrific n i never researched because I was so desparate to get off codeine my parents had me on a taper where I HAD TO GO TO THEIR HOUSE FOR EVERY SINGLE DOSE!!! I was on eggs shells n it was affecting my relationship with them. She knew all this.
I also told her that I had a 10 yeae Internet addiction n have an addiction/obsession with texting especially when I get stressed.
A few weeks ago I caught her out 'talking' about me saying how I played on her vulnerabilities, that she saw something similar in me to her own past situation n that she had supported (died). I was so very shocked n hurt hearing all this. I would NEVER do that I swear I wouldn't.
I told her that I have trouble cutting people out of my life n that if she no longer wanted contact with me to please block me - but ahe said no she won't block me. She also reads whatever Si am writing. She found out I was here n E-mailed me telling me. I can't even vent now as she follows me yet tells me to f off n stop contacting her n that I've come to spoil things for her again. I looked up to her as she was the same age as my parents.
I am so distraught. I became friends with her when I was vulnerable n I feel she's just used me as something to ease her guilt over her friend dying of addiction (she didn't tell me that until we had an argument over something). I would have loved to have been there for her over her probs but she wouldn't tell me only when we had an argument n I'd feel extremely guilty because I wasn't there to help her through things n I am always there for my friends.
I have blocked her n have not contacted her for three days now. I am proud of myself because that's a big accomplishment for me. I have delete her number n soon it will no longer appear n I can try n forget her n what she's done done to me. How she's turned on me every time others have. I will try to make new friends n rebuild trust. I will try to taper off suboxone.
I know now that I was silly going on subs but please don't judge me n try to understand that I was frightened n desperate.
I don't want to be a bad person n am trying really hard to be a good person. I want to stay here on Bluelight so very much. I love it here n I love the people here- so friendly n supportive.
Evey xxx
I know you're right. A former 'friend' convinced me to go on sub. Said it was what I needed n that it helped her n that lots of people on codeine were on it. I wasn't sure at first as I said to her that surely sub was for heroin users. She convinced me that I could not give up codeine on my own n that I'd need subs to deal with it. I was going to go with a service that was going to gradually reduce me off codeine over a few months, give me acupuncture n stuff but she said it really hurt n that I needed subs so I became obsessed with getting on subs because she made it sound like the answer to my prayers. She was so supportive before I got on suboxone n now she has changed n become so nasty to me - it makes me feel depressed because I thought she was such a lovely person who genuinely cared about me but it was all through guilt cause someone she supported died a few years ago. She didn't tell me the withdrawals also lost a friend who she had supportedwere horrific n i never researched because I was so desparate to get off codeine my parents had me on a taper where I HAD TO GO TO THEIR HOUSE FOR EVERY SINGLE DOSE!!! I was on eggs shells n it was affecting my relationship with them. She knew all this.
I also told her that I had a 10 yeae Internet addiction n have an addiction/obsession with texting especially when I get stressed.
A few weeks ago I caught her out 'talking' about me saying how I played on her vulnerabilities, that she saw something similar in me to her own past situation n that she had supported (died). I was so very shocked n hurt hearing all this. I would NEVER do that I swear I wouldn't.
I told her that I have trouble cutting people out of my life n that if she no longer wanted contact with me to please block me - but ahe said no she won't block me. She also reads whatever Si am writing. She found out I was here n E-mailed me telling me. I can't even vent now as she follows me yet tells me to f off n stop contacting her n that I've come to spoil things for her again. I looked up to her as she was the same age as my parents.
I am so distraught. I became friends with her when I was vulnerable n I feel she's just used me as something to ease her guilt over her friend dying of addiction (she didn't tell me that until we had an argument over something). I would have loved to have been there for her over her probs but she wouldn't tell me only when we had an argument n I'd feel extremely guilty because I wasn't there to help her through things n I am always there for my friends.
I have blocked her n have not contacted her for three days now. I am proud of myself because that's a big accomplishment for me. I have delete her number n soon it will no longer appear n I can try n forget her n what she's done done to me. How she's turned on me every time others have. I will try to make new friends n rebuild trust. I will try to taper off suboxone.
I know now that I was silly going on subs but please don't judge me n try to understand that I was frightened n desperate.
I don't want to be a bad person n am trying really hard to be a good person. I want to stay here on Bluelight so very much. I love it here n I love the people here- so friendly n supportive.
Evey xxx
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EliCash
Bluelighter
Hello everyone, I'm 23, from the US, might be an alcoholic, and my relationship with marijuana can be troubling at times. I've also struggled wth mental illness since childhood, and at this point it's pretty intertwined with substance my use/abuse. I use psychedelics as well, though I have managed to be careful and responsible with my use of those over the years, largely due to a lack of availibility during my most impulsive years. I've lurked on Bluelight on and off since 2010, but just found TDS today.
EliCash
Bluelighter
I look forward to getting to know me better too lol, as do I look forward to getting to know all of you^ Welcome to TDS! I hope you enjoy it here. I look forward to getting to know you better.
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
No disrespect to any of you but does anyone from the UK come here. It seems like you're all Americans n while I do love you all very much n the support that you give me - I'd also like to meet people from UK, especially Welsh people like me
Evey x
Evey x
stardust.hero
Bluelight Crew
Welcome Eli
Good to have you with us, and glad you found us 
! If you need help navigating around let me know or send a PM.There is a section of Bluelight called EADD (European & African Drug Discussion) but as you can see from the title, it's drug related topics. TDS and the Recovery Forums get members from all different countries, not just the US.
We have mods from the US, Australia, Canada (Maya are you from Canada lol?). Right now we don't have any moderators that are from the UK but we do have members from the UK.
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
Thanks. I'll look there. Why don't they have sections for the UK like the have Australia? Doesn't see fair that x
tripnotyzm
Bluelighter
Hi I'm gr33n3y3z 25 female anyone want to date?haha!
What's up 25 year old gr33n3y' ?
Good luck finding a date!
I'm sure you won't have a problem finding one
tripnotyzm
Bluelighter
caseface99
Bluelight Crew
So wait, you'd like to bid $10,000 - for a date? With me? :D
Can my girlfriend come too?? I think we can arrange some sort of scenario where this will work.
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
Oo lol xxx
