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Introduce Yourself! v.2.0

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he u all, im crazy thats my name, k ,im on mthadone n hav been going to the frekin klinik for over 3oo days now in a row ,man thats the bad part,, i feel the same as i did walkin to the dam place , ive read it more than once, but i love the all day energy it gives me,, its wonderfull!, im finally gona get my 1st take home in 10 days , hopefully,,i smoked pot and do, so its hard to pass the piss test,,u no....
 
Hello All... I'm new. I've been reading/lurking for years and just now finding the need to actually post for advice etc.. This board has been a God send many a times.

My story: Like an IDIOT - I went to rehab when my doctor prescribed me adderall at the age of 29 and I felt that I was addicted after 3 months. This being from a woman that had never done a single street drug in her life. (I did smoke weed a few times in college - nothing other than). Well, I met "friends" while I was in rehab and the day I came out of rehab - I hung out with them and I tried snorting heroin. The second time, the following night, I shot heroin. Here I was an almost 30yo, married, professional, mother shooting heroin. Needless to say, that took me to my knee's. Heroin was the start - that lead to coke, crack, x - etc.. you know the routine. I lost my home, husband, children, job, cars, boat, summer cottage etc... within 8 months. Sold my soul to the devil for more more more... @ the end - the only thing that saved me was the fear of being placed in jail. I was arrested (thank you God) and was offered Drug Court (Rehab for 2 months and 1/2 way house living 800 miles away from my family / children for a year) if I stayed clean and completed all charges would be dropped. Thank God I was able to complete. HOWEVER, the only reason I was able to complete was because I was placed on a methadone program. I'm prescribed 120mg daily. HOWEVER... I'm now 34 and methadone is a ball and chain. I can not get off of it,.

The last six months - I've relapsed.... I relocated from Baltimore, Maryland (yes - that's where I lived - and got . stayed clean!) to Roanoke, VA. When I moved- I realized that he only drug I hadn't tried was the other "meth" (crystal)... so after almost 4 years of CLEAN time... I said "OMG I HAVE TO TRY IT"... well that was six months ago. I only did it a few time s- wasn't that impressed (likely because my shit is fried from so much adderall abuse) and now I'm prescribed adderall again and abusing the hell outta that script.

I'm talking way too much ... adderall high got me ...
 
Welcome all of you to TDS. We love all of you here (regardless of how some of us may seem in The Lounge lol). I hope all of you enjoy your stay here at TDS (ive made it my home away from home). Feel free to start threads on any issues/problems you have going on and i assure you someone(s) in our family (yours too now :) ) will be able to help you out and give you love <3 Welcome to The Darkside, where we see the light at the end of the tunnel and we'll drag your ass to it if you need some help :)

~your resident junkie/tweaker/all-around goofy lovebird,
Sero :) <3
 
Hi fellow bluelighters, I'm Donny and I've struggled with severe poly-drug dependence for 7 years (primarily opiates/sedatives). I just don't know what to do anymore. My addiction, accompanied by clinical depression and GAD, has rendered me useless and its as if I'm paralyzed. I even have difficulty posting on forums such as this.
 
Hi Donny:) I hope that you will feel comfortable posting here--you will definitely meet other people here who share both your experience with poly-drug abuse as well as depression and GAD. Unfortunately the drug abuse and the depression/GAD can be mutually enhancing which makes it hard to tackle either. Are you currently in any kind of treatment or have you considered it?

Glad you decided to post.<3
 
Hello TDS - Been lurking on Bluelight for a while now and its time I participated more and actively posted more. I've been through everything available to me In terms of drugs of recreational use. Nothing has caused me major problems except for alcohol In terms of a major debilitating effect on my life, even Meth and Opiates seem to have been passing albeit long winded phases of dependency.
I'm Four months sober (again) and life's back to being pretty good. Had one of those weekends where I've toyed with the idea of getting a bottle in (just the one is how a picture it) despite knowing deep down the chaos its likely to cause and the catastrophic relapse that might ensue. I Haven't acted on this 'whim' and know deep down I've made the right decision, Just been a weird weekend of mixed thoughts and feelings - sort of a cycle of thought that hasn't really gone anywhere. Anyway - thanks for listening to my rambling.
Goodnight TDS :)
 
Thank herbavore. It truly means a lot to me that you took time at of your day to give me some support. As for treatment, I've been in and out of kaiser drug dependency programs for the last 4 years. I haven'e been able to complete one kaiser program, though I've completed rehab 3 times. Last night I fell out and almost died, my friend had to perform mouth to mouth to resuscitate me. I can't make it much longer like this, but Ive been considering MMT. Any feedback would be much appreciated, thanks.
 
dark-by-design said:
Hello TDS - Been lurking on Bluelight for a while now and its time I participated more and actively posted more. I've been through everything available to me In terms of drugs of recreational use. Nothing has caused me major problems except for alcohol In terms of a major debilitating effect on my life, even Meth and Opiates seem to have been passing albeit long winded phases of dependency.
I'm Four months sober (again) and life's back to being pretty good. Had one of those weekends where I've toyed with the idea of getting a bottle in (just the one is how a picture it) despite knowing deep down the chaos its likely to cause and the catastrophic relapse that might ensue. I Haven't acted on this 'whim' and know deep down I've made the right decision, Just been a weird weekend of mixed thoughts and feelings - sort of a cycle of thought that hasn't really gone anywhere. Anyway - thanks for listening to my rambling.
Goodnight TDS :)
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Hey,dark-by-design,I hope you didn't get that one bottle, but if you did, just forgive yourself and move on. Welcome to TDS.<3
 
We are all here for ya :). Just remember as an addict we can never have "just one". It never goes that way. If we dont get "that one" we dont have to worry about the second, third, tenth, thousandth. It always begins with "just one". Best wishes and welcome <3
 
Well I feel like this might be the place for me. I've been on and off oxycodone since I was 16, major knee surgery and life stopping migraine. Last November I was having wicked stomach pains but didn't have insurance so tried to sick it up. Finally I went to the er. Diagnosed with kidney stones, no biggy pain meds till they're gone. Except I started getting them monthly. Most of the time I can ignore it and get through, this month has been a different story. Urgent care, emergency room nobody wants to manage my pain they give me enough to get out then a few days later I'm out and in pain. Hoping the urologist will help. The worst part is not being able to work or live my life. I'm in the medical field and I love it, it keeps me going on the bad days. Rambling, the meds make me do that.... I guess I'm just hoping for people to talk to, this seems like a good place where I won't be judge and can talk to people like me :-) so Hi!
 
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welcome, Janet. I've had kidney stones and I have to say that is one thing that trumps childbirth! Hopefully a good urologist will be able to make some diet suggestions that might help.<3
 
Welome to our glorious home :) youll definitely be able to find people to talk to (like me if you choose :) ). Im wanting to become a medic down the line as the job seems right up my ally (with my junkie training i think id be quite good). I hope things start going better for you my friend. Never had kidney stones (luckily) and hope never to. My uncle had them and said they were awful. Love ya buddy :)
 
Serotonin, I believe that the knowing the drug culture can only help Emt's, it gives you a different perspective and a really good knowledge. Thanks for being so welcoming. Loving this place all ready.
 
I'm a Methamphetamine addict named Peter.
I've been sober for 25 days now, after doing about 2 weeks in an inpatient treatment center.
I am loving the sober life, but I do see myself smoking Marijuana again in the near future after I find a job and all around just get my life straightened out. Marijuana has never made me crave other drugs, in fact it does the exact opposite for me, so I don't see any harm that it could cause me.
I know some users may not see eye to eye to me on that particular subject, but I'm glad to be here! I've been lurking Bluelight for years as an addict, but never really got too interested in the Dark Side until now. :p
 
Yeah, I figured it has the same effect on everyone. :p I just know a lot of people in treatment look down on people who are planning on still smoking weed, for whatever reason. Really makes no sense to me at all.
 
hello, anyone from lou.ky. , husbands withdrawaling from tramadol 15 days in cold turkey, with very little to help him through this. he"s very emotional and full of questions that i cant answer. i"m really looking for someone 40"s who is further along in (his) preferrably recovery that can help to guide him and me. don"t have to be local but just asking? also, just a little more about him, he messed up back like 20 yrs ago ,had surgery, but did too much too soon along with the aid of pain pills.3 ruptured disc and narrow spinal cord ,he has had problems ever since and has taken all kinds of stuff endin with tramadol for the last 7 -8 yrs. came off lortabs before all that got on methadone program, wont do that or suboxone ever again. very determined to be pill free but pain free also at some point.thanks .
 
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