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Introduce Yourself! v.2.0

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Migazaur
Nice to meet you. I am very glad you have come here for help.
These feelings seem quite intense. Could it be possible that the intensity of these feelings come from you not releasing it until it becomes too much??
When I am alone I tend to talk to myself in my head and that can turn a small amount of good/bad mood into an overwhelming emotion that is usually released by anything triggering it.
It is for the best that you share your thoughts with another person. That is the basis of human interactions.
I have simple advice for you that I found extremely helpful in my own life, as I too suffered from your same problem of loneliness.
You must interact with people everywhere you go. Even talking with the old lady at the supermarket about the weather provides an almost therapeutic affect. You will find that you become more friendly and sociable towards people and lifestyles you aren't familiar with. It changes you and causes great growth within your mind and spirit.
This place is a great start :)

halfwaycrooks
Welcome, my friend!
The only thing worse than bullying itself, is putting yourself in fear of being bullied.
Like I told migazaur, social interaction is key towards overcoming fears and other personal problems.
There are bad people out there but a majority will lend a helping hand. These good people will give you the tools you need to fight off these predatorial people. However, you must find the strength within yourself to use those tools.

I hope to see both of you here and I hope you're prepared for a wealth of help and wisdom.
 
Just started exploring this site a few days ago and I love it so far!

Hello to everyone here in the Dark Side! There is a ton I could tell you about me, my past, my current situation, but I will try to keep it a little brief.

I'm severely bi-polar. I really hate the prescribed medications for it. I thoroughly enjoy being manic. My cycling goes days at a time. And if I could just trust myself to make it through alive or, what I consider to be worse, seriously physically injured, the two maybe three really dark scary days a month of the down side of bi-polar, I wouldn't take the meds ever again. But alas, I have proved time and time again that I cannot. So I take those evil little zombie pills that make me feel dead inside and out. I mean, when I'm off the meds, I have the managable depressive episodes for a couple days and then the fun manic episodes for a couple days, back and fourth, but then every month, there is the one depressive episode that is indescribable...misery, pain, just plain troubling all around.

So on top of all that... I'm addicted to loads of things, all uppers (even adrenaline rushes). Because uppers are what keep that super severe depressive episode away. Even alcohol is an upper for me since I mix it with so much caffeine. I am trying my hardest currently to quit it all and live the sober life.

Anyways, I know I could really go on and on about me and my ridiculously, nuts, unbelievable, I shouldn't be alive life's story, but I'll stop unless requested for more.

Glad I found this site. It's been extremely informative on many issues. And I hope to be able to not only find support, but offer it as well.
 
x2molly2amped, welcome.<3 I have been hearing a lot lately about people with bipolar working with receptive psychiatrists to take the meds they need to control only the severe symptoms when they are about to occur (for the exact reason that you stated--not wanting to feel like a zombie all the time). This means paying attention to signals, cycles etc.

I wish I had an article or something to point you to but I don't. I have just been hearing about it from friends that work in mental health. From what they say, it is a movement that started in England and is gaining traction over here. Unfortunately the majority of psychiatrists are not in favor of this as it is easier to just throw someone on a numbing drug (and in the U.S. probably safer for them legally).

I understand wanting to not lose what feels like your essential self and wanting to have control of your life while treating the crushing depression. There is a large community of people with bipolar in TDS so you should have lots of support. Again, welcome, and thank you for sharing your story.<3
 
halfwaycrooks said:
Hi I'm halfwaycrook,
I'm going through a hard time in life die to paranoia/fear of being bullied. Also i searched Google for sites that'll help me out and this is it, I wish to find solutions for my problems and hope you all do too. One love!
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hey, if theres a place in the web where youre right its this.

everyday again im totally stunned to see and feel the love of the great people here at bluelight and, more specifically, at tds. <3
 
Hi guys,
My problem isn't so much physical, but social. I'm 19, and I took a year out after working incredibly hard at college. Too excited by freedom, and feeling completely accepted into a group of drug-takers I quickly spiralled out of control... I got into a lot of trouble with the police and only just came out of it relatively unscathed.
I am still finding it so hard adapting to life now. I really want to stop forever.
I feel like I'm in the wrong place, the wrong age, the wrong people.
1) how can I triumph over the depression and paranoia and hatred I have of myself for losing control?
and 2) how can I make sure it never happens again?
I'm so confused, but I've looked to this site for help before, and I'm sure I can get help again from it.
 
Hi mdmayhem. Welcome :) You are probably not in the wrong anything--you just need to expand beyond just that group of people, just that one place, one age-group of friends, etc. It sounds like you have identified what you don't want but have yet to find a comfortable place where you are doing what you do want. Don't waste time beating yourself up for choices you made in the past. You can learn from what you did before and simply move on while letting that knowledge make you stronger. It sounds like you have great resolve and being down on yourself can only undermine that. Have you considered any kind of therapy or recovery groups? I hope you find the support you are looking for here; there are definitely a lot of people that have been through similar things in life (myself included though it was long ago). I'm glad you introduced yourself.<3
 
Thanks herbavore, you're right. Most of the time I'm fine, it's just those black moments which you keep going back to... and I guess perhaps the disappointment that I hadn't found the meaning of life and the best people in the world after all... keep on searching I guess... what else is there to do. Sending out the best wishes to everyone on here who's looking or been looking for the answer in the wrong places. - There's no easy way xxx
 
mdmayhem said:
... and I guess perhaps the disappointment that I hadn't found the meaning of life and the best people in the world after all... keep on searching I guess... what else is there to do. Sending out the best wishes to everyone on here who's looking or been looking for the answer in the wrong places. - There's no easy way xxx
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QFT^ Since I am 2-4 times older than many on this forum and I am continually redefining what I am supposed to be doing at any given stage of life, often looking in the right places but seeing them in the wrong light, or looking in the wrong places and expecting to find the right fit, I would certainly say it is a life-long journey. Here's hoping we all get a long life to explore the world and make our own meaning out of things. <3
 
Hey everyone I'm Anthony and just got into opiates. So far it has been hard for me to get buzzed on them even with no tolerance. Me being a ex weed smoker thinks I should just keep taking more but I've read about apap etc. but they relax me a bit and its better than being sober.

The good thing is they have helped me with my irrational phobies and insomnia.
 
Hi Anthony. Welcome to Bluelight and to The Dark Side in particular. TDS is full of people that are trying to get off opiates so you may want to follow some of those threads before you get in too deep. Using opiates for phobias and insomnia sounds pretty dangerous and there are lots of other non-drug things to try to help with those. Have you tried any kind of therapy for the phobias?
 
Hi there, I'm AK. I'm a 25 year old female tattoo model from Atlanta, GA (originally vancouver, bc, canada). I am a heavy-duty IV heroin user, I shoot up to 2 grams a day, usually 1 1/2. I need to get off because it is stripping me of my life, I have already made an appointment to get on Suboxone and do a month taper. New to this community!!!! Happy to be here.
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Welcome, AKKennedy! I'm glad you are here, too. You will find quite a few people with experience with subs. Congratulations on your decision to get off heroin. Let us know how it goes after your appointment. We are all here to support you and I know you will be able to support other people here as well.<3
 
Hello, I'm izzyj and am new to The Dark Side. I have been in recovery for a while but have recently relapsed. Am struggling to find willingness and motivation to get back on track. I am also bipolar and have suffered long bouts of depression although these issues have thankfully been better recently.
I welcome advice and support on these issues, but also feel i can do the same for others who are struggling.
 
Hi izzy, you've found a great resource of support here in TDS. Responding to others posts actually did wonders for helping my own sobriety. <3
 
Welcome to all of our newest members :)
Please feel free to contact any of us moderators with questions, should they arrive!

Remember - if you see a post or topic that is inappropriate for this forum (see TDS Guidelines in my sig) remember to report the post!

NSFW:
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Glad to have you all here <3

~ Vaya
 
Welcome to TDS. I used this place to chronicle my process of getting clean about 8 months ago. Youll find lots of love and support here. A certain person here *cough* herbavore *cough* was there for me when i contemplated suicide and going through my many court issues. TDS saved my life and i am forever grateful, now i want to repay my family here for everything that was so freely given. I honestly am tearing up with gratitude and happiness. I love all of you in TDS family :) new and experienced people.
 
Hmm, well I've been hanging out on TDS for a while but I forgot to introduce myself here so to anyone who's interested - I'm Morgane, came on here due to problems with benzos/opiates/depression/suicide attempt and I think this is an amazing forum and I'm very happy I'm getting to know people on here. Anyway, I'm starting to feel better and am finding it very fulfilling to try and help other people (and am hopefully succeeding). Oh and I'm now chanelling all of the negative feelings and drug experiences into a novel so that's cool. :)
 
Pagey youve been through so much and you continue to push on. You have so much to offer to help others. Is there gonna be a special BL unveiling for your book? I wanna get an autographed copy when the time comes :)
 
^I really do hope I can use my personal experiences to help others. If ever I'm lucky enough and it gets published I'll definitely be posting about it here anyway! Especially since it's actually a novel about drug addiction and understanding/criticizing the stigma associated to addicts/drug use. There's a tiny bit about it in the "Words" forum if you're interested. I'd certainly be happy to sign a copy for you =D
 
hello everyone. i post on and off on bluelight, but mostly in other drugs... i think i posted some stuff when i switched from methadone to suboxone (not the right way btw, came off of 70 mg and went through PW hell). so you would think i wouldn't be scared now.

i am down to, i think, .125 mg-ish a day. i have the strips, and it's literally like taking a tiny corner. but yeah, i'm scared. i don't do WD well, hence the fact i had been on maintenance meds for 3 yrs. i have also suffered from depression my whole life pretty much (possibly bi-polar), and do engage in self harm occasionally. i was on a really good streak w/ that but broke down while i was kinda drunk and dope sick and hurt myself.

so anyways, i am afraid of what being in WD will do to me. me and my bf are moving in with his parents away from the city in middle GA, help us, as to further distance ourselves from drugs and give ourselves a more stable environment. which is good unless i lose my fucking mind in front of everyone there. yes, they know but they think i am already off suboxone.

guess i am just looking for encouragement. i know i have been through worse, but all that just seems dream like now...
 
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