Captain.Heroin
Bluelight Crew
Now you know where your sensitivity is back at, and you'll know better than to take a huge dosage like that again.
Also, don't let the people you talk with at work piss you off.
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<insert clever staying clean title> December
- Thread starter Serotonin101
- Start date
Now you know where your sensitivity is back at, and you'll know better than to take a huge dosage like that again.
Also, don't let the people you talk with at work piss you off.
motherofearth
Bluelighter
Don't dwell on it; you can only make the next right decision
Whoever thought of Decender, that is a close to a suitable name I could think of for this month....
This is day 1 for me. I had 4 days early last week, but I returned for a results appointment for a needle user survey I've participated in, and some junkie friends of mine were there, and I ended up caving. We went through their connections, and they ended up shorting me, so it will be easier to not speak w/ them in the future. Assholes. I used for 2 days total, and yesterday I took 200mg ms contin and 40mg hydrocodone, as well as 30mg flurazepam and some shots of peppermint schnapps I was given. I'm feeling good today, after a 7 mile bike ride, but I'm worried it is the long half-life of the ms contin and the flurazepam holding me. Remains to be seen.
I intend to fully cut out heroin use, alcohol use, and everything else, aside from a morphine use every two weeks, if I can discipline myself to that extent. If not, I'll cut out the morphine as well - playing w/ fire.
did you iv the ms contin? (I found a way even though some people say you can't). even then 2 days on didn't give me withdrawals before. I could use 4-5 days straight iv heroin staying high and only experience minor discomfort when coming off (sleeping 4 hours a night, difficulty eating, yawning and watery eyes, etc). don't cave again and you will be alrightDon't dwell on it; you can only make the next right decision
Whoever thought of Decender, that is a close to a suitable name I could think of for this month....
This is day 1 for me. I had 4 days early last week, but I returned for a results appointment for a needle user survey I've participated in, and some junkie friends of mine were there, and I ended up caving. We went through their connections, and they ended up shorting me, so it will be easier to not speak w/ them in the future. Assholes. I used for 2 days total, and yesterday I took 200mg ms contin and 40mg hydrocodone, as well as 30mg flurazepam and some shots of peppermint schnapps I was given. I'm feeling good today, after a 7 mile bike ride, but I'm worried it is the long half-life of the ms contin and the flurazepam holding me. Remains to be seen.
I intend to fully cut out heroin use, alcohol use, and everything else, aside from a morphine use every two weeks, if I can discipline myself to that extent. If not, I'll cut out the morphine as well - playing w/ fire.
that's the reason why I never went to my survey appointment as I knew other "friends" who were doing the same thing cuz they were giving out Walmart gift cards (they'd trade it for dope after)
motherofearth
Bluelighter
I didn't iv it this time, but I've had success shooting ms contins before.
I'm going to avoid the survey in the future. I'd like to help, but this survey gives you a check, and my using friends are always right there, so it is just too dicey.
I'm going to avoid the survey in the future. I'd like to help, but this survey gives you a check, and my using friends are always right there, so it is just too dicey.
pastelcircus
Bluelighter
7.5 months and still going strong but the winter blues are freaging killing me already 
I've decided that the occassional 5-htp is fine, and I'm thinking about stopping on my way home from work tonight to get some vitamin D supplements as well, I'm hoping it might take the edge off
I've decided that the occassional 5-htp is fine, and I'm thinking about stopping on my way home from work tonight to get some vitamin D supplements as well, I'm hoping it might take the edge off
get adequate sunlight too and switch to full spectrum lights. it really helps7.5 months and still going strong but the winter blues are freaging killing me already
I've decided that the occassional 5-htp is fine, and I'm thinking about stopping on my way home from work tonight to get some vitamin D supplements as well, I'm hoping it might take the edge off
stay strong. you can do this.
pastelcircus
Bluelighter
Adequatesunlightpls, I still live in Michigan, you know B)
Also probably too broke for full spectrums but asked for a tanning package for Christmas, if I don't get one I'll look into the lights.
Have you had any luck with them?
Also probably too broke for full spectrums but asked for a tanning package for Christmas, if I don't get one I'll look into the lights.
Have you had any luck with them?
PriestTheyCalledHim
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2005
- Messages
- 14,685
I'm still not drinking at all. Here's to 4 months.
Pastelcircus-I get outside when it's sunny and I take a vitamin D supplement. Tanning beds are not that good for you, and I've heard they're not like a full spectrum light. I would get a bottle of Vitamin D pills and take at least 1,000IU a day unless you have heart problems.
Pastelcircus-I get outside when it's sunny and I take a vitamin D supplement. Tanning beds are not that good for you, and I've heard they're not like a full spectrum light. I would get a bottle of Vitamin D pills and take at least 1,000IU a day unless you have heart problems.
I lived outside Ann arbor so I know the pain of night lasting from 4pm to 8am. natural light+vitamin d+full spec lights=happy sero. I wish you the best. hopefully you get to see the northern lights like I did back in 05 or 06.
Captain.Heroin
Bluelight Crew
Natural sunlight here is amazing. %)
VanWeyden
Bluelighter
6th day clean now. Especially in the morning it was awful. I felt like utter shit, craving like a motherfucker/thinking about how it would be less painful to be dead. Depression is strongly kicking in again. But most importantly I didn't use, and I feel a bit better now.
nervousone
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2009
- Messages
- 414
Gonna make 12/12/12 my "clean date". I am quitting marijuana and Ultram which I was absing to come off a year of high dose Suboxone. I have been off Suboxone since 10/09/12. Marijuana is a huge problem for me I have been smoking longer than some people on here have been alive and it is hindering my mental health, despite this I still crave it. I spend way to much money on it and I get more negative effects than positive. I am pretty addicted to the Ultram but I have quit it before so I know what is coming.
The reason I called it my "clean" date is because I am still continuing my benzo taper, but that will be my first day where I consistently take under 1mg of Klonopin per day. I picked up a large (8-10mg some days) Klonopin habit extremely quickly on 9/20/12 in in preparation for the cold turkey off the suboxone. I have been a problem benzo user in the past but I have managed to keep to my taper for the past week. I don't get my pills legitimately and these are the last ones I will be able to get so I can't really fuck it up. I'll have my taper finished sometime in January just in time for next semester.
Let's see if I can get through the PAWS this time. I have a public speaking class this semester as well, that will be fun in benzo withdrawal!
The reason I called it my "clean" date is because I am still continuing my benzo taper, but that will be my first day where I consistently take under 1mg of Klonopin per day. I picked up a large (8-10mg some days) Klonopin habit extremely quickly on 9/20/12 in in preparation for the cold turkey off the suboxone. I have been a problem benzo user in the past but I have managed to keep to my taper for the past week. I don't get my pills legitimately and these are the last ones I will be able to get so I can't really fuck it up. I'll have my taper finished sometime in January just in time for next semester.
Let's see if I can get through the PAWS this time. I have a public speaking class this semester as well, that will be fun in benzo withdrawal!
Anomaly88
Bluelighter
Man these fucking months are a bitch... I get so down and out around this time 
Shits been hard recently... still 10 months clean on the 11th but fuck man, it seems all my negative attitude about life has just come back and im full of hate and anger. Ive been going through some shit and not been participating in my recovery as much as i should, which is why i prolly act like this. But frankly im fucking tired of everything. Been questioning a lot of shit recently. About life, friends, what im doing, if its even worth it. Not that im gunna relapse on drugs cause thats never a thought. Just been dealing with a bunch of stress and its starting to get unbearable. These last couple days have been better though since ive been praying and trying to get my head in some literature. But fuck man.. need a god damn break ![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
Shits been hard recently... still 10 months clean on the 11th but fuck man, it seems all my negative attitude about life has just come back and im full of hate and anger. Ive been going through some shit and not been participating in my recovery as much as i should, which is why i prolly act like this. But frankly im fucking tired of everything. Been questioning a lot of shit recently. About life, friends, what im doing, if its even worth it. Not that im gunna relapse on drugs cause thats never a thought. Just been dealing with a bunch of stress and its starting to get unbearable. These last couple days have been better though since ive been praying and trying to get my head in some literature. But fuck man.. need a god damn break 
BrokedownPalace
Bluelight Crew
Been clean off of suboxnoe and everything since August 22nd..Heroin since last December.. Parole will lock me back up if I keep using so I intend to stay clean, since I don't feel like going back to prison when I've only been home since December 1st.
nervousone
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2009
- Messages
- 414
Well, my quit date it here. My last final is today as well so hopefully after the Holiday break my newly drug free receptors won't be such a clusterfuck.
Captain.Heroin
Bluelight Crew
^ congrats BDP! I'm still on Suboxone, but love to hear about all of the Bluelighters like yourself who have gotten off Suboxone. :D
BrokedownPalace
Bluelight Crew
Yeah thanks man. Believe me, I want to get high real bad.. Read fuckin' bad.. But having nowhere to live, no money, and a 4-year bid hanging over me if I fuck up parole makes it not really worth it in my opinion.
GoldenLovely
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2010
- Messages
- 148
Great for you! First day of subs for me. Can't imagine what its like to just be clean without anything. That's really really awesome. Keep it up! And good luck and good thoughts to everyone trying to get clean or stay clean!
BrokedownPalace
Bluelight Crew
Yeah it certainly is refreshing I suppose. I always imagined things would just get hella better as long as I was sober.. Not quite. The incredible amount of damage I have done to my life from drugs/criminal activities is now staring me in teh face and I am quite frankly fucking overwhelmed.. I have no permanent residence, no car/license, no income (since my disability/medicare got terminated due to incarceration). I just don't want to end up on the fucking streets, and it is especially difficult since I have pretty bad bi-polar and PTSD and currently have no way to get back on any prope medication.
I need to win the lottery.
..Or rob a bank.
I need to win the lottery.
..Or rob a bank.
Ketamike
Bluelighter
By occasional, you mean consuming something that mimics the effects of turkey and sunlight... if someone in the rooms chastises you for that, burn them with their cigarette or pour a scolding cup of coffee on their face.
New Day 1 for me... sort of. No heroin.